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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #14101

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    I have never seen an episode of Glee. I thought it looked pretty dopey when it came out but I guess it's a big hit. Sounds like a good episode, if a bit inaccurate

  2. #14102
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Being angry/disillusioned and then rejecting God (like the characters did) isn't the only case for not believing, and it's definitely not the most convincing one either. In fact, it's a poor example because you kind of have to believe something exists first before you can be mad at it. I just felt like the viewpoint of the mellow, rational atheists I know wasn't represented - that, based on the history of world religions, religion is a man-made thing and it's a non-emotional conclusion to not believe in anything.
    I know I'm just one person, but that's how I came to be an atheist. My children, however, are atheists (or lean that way) because that's how they were raised. Each person is different, but at some point I think most non-believers had a history, or their parents/ancestors had a history, of becoming angry at God. Just my opinion, though.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  3. #14103

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    I have never been "angry at God" so to speak. I just started to question what I'd been taught and finally came to realize that most of it made no sense.

  4. #14104

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    Chrissy, you're right. Being angry at God while you still believe is usually a turning point for people, and I hope I didn't sound like I think there's anything wrong with having that history.

    I'm just thinking about how a religious person would have seen the atheists in the episode. The non-believers were a) the gay character (who is possibly already looked down upon by certain religious viewers because he's gay) and b) the woman who's usually the villain in every episode. And when religious people see that these not-the-most-likable characters stopped believing out of anger, they could just argue that the non-believer needs to repair his/her relationship with that god. I just wish they offered a logical, non-emotional, "does-this-make-sense?" explanation for being atheist too.

    Kate, sometimes the show can be a little sappy. But the Sue Sylvester character rocks.
    Last edited by demigraf; 10-06-2010 at 12:51 PM.

  5. #14105
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    Ah, gotcha. I don't watch the show, so I didn't realize she was a villainous character. That would have irritated the heck outta me.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  6. #14106
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    I don't watch the show either, but that's not cool. I think people do think that all atheists are immoral people. I had a big argument with a cousin awhile back since she told me she thought I had morals after I told her I wasn't christian...this coming from someone who had premarital sex, smoke and drank as a teenager and has been divorced...hmph!

  7. #14107

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    I love that actress, Jane Lynch. She's in all those Christopher Guest movies, which I think are great.

  8. #14108

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    Pfft. I have found that morals and religion are two very different things to the religious folk in my life.

    My dad and I discuss this all the time now. One of her brothers did not attend her funeral and my dad is quite sure it's because the service was at a non catholic, progressive, "open and affirming" church with a homosexual pastor. Said brother was supposed to be pallbearer too and agreed to do it until we noticed him the night of my mom's wake speaking to the pastor of the church and then suddenly he couldn't stay for the funeral. Jerk-off. Him and his wife are insanely catholic and the most judgemental people I have ever know.

    And of course we also discuss it because we love my brother fiercely and some religious folks we know think he's going to hell. I'm not sure exactly what my dad believes but he says his church is in his back yard under the oak tree (though he attends mass sometimes as well) and that he doesn't want anything to do with a god that would judge his family.

  9. #14109

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    On a totally different note, I have noticed that this baby moves around more than any other time in the evening when I'm laying in bed reading books with my two little chatterboxes on either side of me giggling and chatting. It may be just because I'm laying down and relaxing but I like to think baby hears us being together and wants to get in on it.

  10. #14110

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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    On a totally different note, I have noticed that this baby moves around more than any other time in the evening when I'm laying in bed reading books with my two little chatterboxes on either side of me giggling and chatting. It may be just because I'm laying down and relaxing but I like to think baby hears us being together and wants to get in on it.
    Awww... or maybe the baby's saying "Get back up and move around, mom, so you can rock me back to sleep!" LOL.

    *******************
    And actually, I take back a little what I said about the episode last night. I liked these two lines:

    Sue Sylvester: ďAsking someone to believe in a fantasy, however comforting, isnít a moral thing to do. Itís cruel...Itís as arrogant as telling someone how to believe in God and if they donít accept it, no matter how open-hearted and honest their dissent, theyíre going to hell.Ē

    Kurt, the gay kid, when someone asked him to prove God didn't exist: ďI think God is kind of like Santa Claus for adults...You canít prove that there isnít a magic teapot floating around on the dark side of the moon with a dwarf inside of it that reads romance novels and shoots lightning out of its boobs, but it seems pretty unlikely, doesnít it?Ē
    OK. I swear that's enough Glee-capping from me for the rest of the day.

    I confess I am craving a frozen yogurt.

  11. #14111
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    I confess....I'm jealous right now. My BFF lives in a different city so while we do email daily...we see each other a few times a year tops. She is six months pg. She has this other good friend who lives nearby and just found out today that she is pg....and so my BFF is all excited to have someone else be pg at the same time and the babies can play together, which she didn't have with her daughter who is now 7.
    I wish it was me instead.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  12. #14112

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    I confess....I'm jealous right now. My BFF lives in a different city so while we do email daily...we see each other a few times a year tops. She is six months pg. She has this other good friend who lives nearby and just found out today that she is pg....and so my BFF is all excited to have someone else be pg at the same time and the babies can play together, which she didn't have with her daughter who is now 7.
    I wish it was me instead.
    I wish it was you instead of the other friend too!!

    Or, even better, all THREE of you!
    Debra ~ Attached Mama to Isla! 2/08

  13. #14113

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    I confess....I'm jealous right now. My BFF lives in a different city so while we do email daily...we see each other a few times a year tops. She is six months pg. She has this other good friend who lives nearby and just found out today that she is pg....and so my BFF is all excited to have someone else be pg at the same time and the babies can play together, which she didn't have with her daughter who is now 7.
    I wish it was me instead.
    That's understandable. I can think of a friend I'd feel the same way about.

  14. #14114
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    Quote Originally Posted by djackson123 View Post
    I wish it was you instead of the other friend too!!

    Or, even better, all THREE of you!
    I agree.

    I admit, looking at the pics Stacy posted of Oscar holding Gus made me have a twinge of nostalgia. A little over 4 years ago she was posting the first pics of O, and for whatever reason he stole my heart...and made me anxious for my own Conner to be born. It doesn't seem like it's been 4 years already.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  15. #14115

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    I confess....I'm jealous right now. My BFF lives in a different city so while we do email daily...we see each other a few times a year tops. She is six months pg. She has this other good friend who lives nearby and just found out today that she is pg....and so my BFF is all excited to have someone else be pg at the same time and the babies can play together, which she didn't have with her daughter who is now 7.
    I wish it was me instead.
    I wish it was you too!

    And I know I said I was leaving, but I have to say this I hated the how the believers treated Kurt (the atheist). At the beginning of the week he said he did not want to sing religious or spiritual songs. Then his dad went into a coma and one of the girls sings about turning to god, and I thought "wow, respecting friends wishes fail."

    Then when Kurt told her he didn't want any prayers said for his dad the whole **** club went to the hospital and took turns saying prayers from different denominations. And then got mad at Kurt telling them again that he did not want prayers!

    "We cannot withhold facts for fear of offending because the importance of the information outweighs people's right to not be challenged in their beliefs." -Maddy Reid
    In memory of all APA babies gone too soon; always loved and never forgotten

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    I confess one of my customers this morning made me soo angry (to the point of feeling ill)

    We always show the news until the rest of the store opens, and the clip about that wretched hateful church going to the supreme court was on.. As they are talking about how they protest against the military, gays, etc she says

    Thank GOD someone is still standing up for what is right!

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    I confess my dad just threatened my daughter with a spank using his belt...

    I am so angry that I swear, if he even gets near her, I may snap.

  18. #14118
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    Claire was awake from 12 midnight until 2 AM, totally freaked out because she had a nightmare that there was a sea urchin in her bed. She and Ronin were apparently pretending the bed was an ocean and they were scuba divers last night after I left the room, and they were diving around looking at fish. All good until the dream about the pokey thing, at which point there were screams and hysterics and I had to get into her bed and hold her and then creep back and forth from their bed to ours to check on the baby, back and forth for hours until she finally fell asleep and stopped whimpering. At which point I had to wake up at 4 AM to feed Soren and get ready for work.

    Tired. I don't know why they say newborns have all these sleep issues. My three-year-olds sleep worse than my newborn.


  19. #14119

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    I confess that I had to take Savana and Kai with me to my weekly dinner with my dad and brother. Normally it's my kid free night but dbf had to work.
    Kai was a terror and it sucked. I am so exhausted and trying to think of how I'm going to help him modify his behavior because it's getting worse every day.

  20. #14120
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    Bridget, have you read up on positive behavior support? Basically you have to have the underlying assumption that all behavior is there to meet some need. You have to decide what the need is that is being filled by his behavior (attention? is he getting some sort of reward or feedback that he enjoys from it?) and think about another way he can get that need met without the behavior you don't want to see, so he is learning a replacement behavior. So it's not "don't do that" but instead "try this behavior." Which I think is very much the way you are with your kids anyway ... this is just a slightly more formal way of thinking through his behaviors. There's tons of information on PBS but here's an overview to get started.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  21. #14121
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    I confess I bought a Robert Plant CD in Starbuck's today and I love it. I felt silly buying it in Starbuck's, though.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  22. #14122

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    That positive behavior thing sounds like it would be good for Josh too. I picked him up from school yesterday, got him a coloring book and we were going to get a sandwich but the line was out the door, so he wanted to go somewhere else and I said okay, and we started walking to the car. He started screaming and crying and he wouldn't tell me why. So we left and turns out when he calmed down, he just wanted to walk up and down the shopping plaza to look for another eating place. (there are no other eating places in that plaza except a nasty buffet and chuck e cheese lol)
    Sooo I need to get him to tell me what he wants before he has a complete meltdown. I know I shouldn't take his meltdowns personally but it just hurts so much when I try to do nice things for him and I get tantrums in return.

  23. #14123
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    Quote Originally Posted by The10Eels View Post
    I confess my dad just threatened my daughter with a spank using his belt...

    I am so angry that I swear, if he even gets near her, I may snap.
    Do it. Snap. That's b.s. and I would have been livid too.

    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    I confess that I had to take Savana and Kai with me to my weekly dinner with my dad and brother. Normally it's my kid free night but dbf had to work.
    Kai was a terror and it sucked. I am so exhausted and trying to think of how I'm going to help him modify his behavior because it's getting worse every day.
    Conner can be a handful sometimes too. If I take the kids out to eat by myself, it really takes all of us (me and the girls) to keep Conner entertained and out of trouble. We were looking at pictures from when Bobbie and Jessica were little and I remember taking them by myself out to eat lunch all the time and they never had a meltdown or anything. Different personalities? There are times when there's nothing to do but leave with Conner. Nothing works. Fortunately, it has gotten better.

    Every morning Conner has to tell me goodbye, I love you, and have a good day. I am not a morning person at all, but waking to his sweet little voice saying those things just warms me all over. And it doesn't get old.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  24. #14124
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    Ashley, Yikes that would have been hard to bite my tongue if I heard someone say that! But of course at work, we have to......
    And I wouldn't be happy with my parents if that did that either.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  25. #14125

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    Quote Originally Posted by The10Eels View Post
    I confess my dad just threatened my daughter with a spank using his belt...

    I am so angry that I swear, if he even gets near her, I may snap.
    Oh, that would not fly for one moment with me.

    I confess that this birth and recovery experience was so amazingly amazing, simple, and low-impact that I just cannot imagine why any low-risk mama (myself included) would choose to birth anywhere but home.



  26. #14126

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    Oscar used to be unbearable at meals "out" or events. They just outgrow it, eventually and until then, it's hell.



  27. #14127

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    Gwenn, thanks for the info. I am a big believer that every behavior is a child's way of meeting an underlying need. I try my best to provide that. I really know it's just time for me to refocus and put my energy into using positive methods to change Kai's behavior. I find myself saying "Stop" way too often. Like last night when he threw his cracker on my brother's carpet and stomped on it into the carpet, or when he kept showing Savana his penis, or when he tried to pull the blinds off the window, or when he kept calling me stupid pants.....I wanted to cry.

    But inside of my is the very capable ability to deal with all of these things appropriately. I just need to take a deep breath and find the energy to do it.

  28. #14128
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    I'm glad your birth was wonderful Stacy! I wish they could all be like that.

    Bridget, I have no doubt you'll find it within yourself. You're human and pregnant...energy is probably on a pretty low supply right now

    I'm not advocating for being a slacker parent, but I know I myself made mistakes raising my kids, some worse than others, but whatever I did right I did often enough that they've really turned out to be wonderful kids. I worry some moms might be too hard on themselves You know what they say...if you wonder if you're a good enough parent, chances are you're wonderful. It's the bad ones that always think they're great parents.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  29. #14129
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    and I just re-read my post and realized I really, really need to upgrade my vocabulary. Ugh.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  30. #14130

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    Stacy, congrats again on a beautiful homebirth. I am absolutely gunning for one if/when there's baby #2. The only problem, at least here where we live, is that they have become a bit "trendy" and cost twice as much as they used to even 5 years ago. By comparison, my friend delivered all 3 of his children at home in AZ about 15-18 yrs ago, and back then, the midwife charged only $500 for all consultations and the delivery.


    Ash - so, so not cool what your dad said. He needs to stay the F away from your little girl. Seriously. Or you should steal and hide all his belts, and he'll just have to walk around with his pants down around his knees.

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