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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #13831

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    I confess I semi-deliberately picked a job where I would almost always be the dumbest person in the room - you know, for the challenge of it and all. But, man, some days, it's just really ego-bruising to be that guy asking all the dumb questions and having people looking at you wondering if the elevator's ever gonna reach the top floor. Today is one of those days.
    Hang in there. Not challenging yourself is far worse in the long run than feeling like the slow kid on the bus. I picked one of these jobs once. After six years, it became the premise for my business, which is proving to be pretty successful.



  2. #13832
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    We had Conner's birthday party yesterday and I have to say Rich did good. He participated and was helpful. I don't know if it was because I chewed him out about the last time, or if it was because there weren't a bunch of teens here, but whatever the reason was I really appreciated his help.

    I had a lot to do and had planned on making lasagna for about 20 people. I made the sauces, noodles, and hamburger and left the instructions on how to layer it and the baking temp & time with him. At first he started whining about how difficult it would be, but when I offered to have him go shopping while I stayed to do it, he shut up. ;) lol It turned out really good. So good in fact, that my mil that normally thinks I cannot cook asked Rich for the recipe.

    After dinner the guys all went outside to drink some beers and BS. Conner told me he wanted cake, so I had him go tell Daddy & them that it was cake time. I didn't pay much attention when Conner ran back in the house, and the next thing I know my mil was exclaiming, "Conner has the cake!" I jumped up off the couch & looked, and there he was carrying his birthday cake out of the fridge. It was only a 1/4 sheet, but it had a layer of pudding in it and was quite heavy. That boy makes me laugh every.single.day. He's always doing something off the wall and unexpected.

    On a somewhat unrelated note, he's seamlessly transitioned to sleeping in his own bed. He has had a toddler bed in our room for well over a year but never wanted to sleep in it. A few weeks ago he suddenly started going to bed in it. The only one who seems slightly upset about this is Mommy. I miss my cuddle bug.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  3. #13833

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    Aww, it's funny how when kids are ready to do something, they just do it. I'm glad Rich was helpful at the party.
    Today at church I was with my class and the co-leader and she announced out of the blue that she might not be helping with the class anymore. That someone else wanted to teach it this fall. I'm a little bit annoyed that she sprung it on us like that and I think it's sort of unfair. I'm probably overreacting though LOL.
    I think because I crave stable environments it's messing me up, but maybe the kids won't mind as much.

  4. #13834

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    Kate that sucks. I'd be annoyed too but I'm sure all will be fine.
    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Bridget, that is such a sad memory. I'm sorry. When I remember losing a loved one who had brain cancer and went out screaming and ranting and cussing, I try to think about that poem that goes "rage, rage against the dying of the light" and it makes me feel a little better to think he didn't go out without a fight.
    I confess I sent this poem to my brother and it brought him comfort. So, thank you.

  5. #13835

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    I took the kids for a walk today and I really regret ever showing Savana how cool it feels to walk on those lines of soft tar with bare feet. Our walks are excruciating slow. But how can I deny that simple pleasure?
    At one point during the walk we could hear this loud chirping in the woods next to us and it sounded close so we walked over to see what it was and it was a little chipmunk who was really vocal. He was so adorable and we watched him run around for a little while munching on acorns and stuff. We were actually sitting in the grass and Kai was giggling non stop and giving commentary to everything the chipmunk did. Then he stood up and said, "Oh, Mom. I can't watch this chipmunk anymore. He's just too cute." I just have to laugh outloud when he says stuff like that. He sounds like a little old man.

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    Gah! Your kids kill me with how adorable they are.


    I confess I am super annoyed with my online medical terminology class... Our chapter was about the muscular system, so its all names of muscles, and different muscle injuries and diseases...

    then we get to the discussion board, and the question has NOTHING to do with terminology. (a man injures himself on the job. doctor tells him no work for 90 days, employer is found not at fault and tells him 30 days or dismissal) We are told to discuss whether or not we think the company can dismiss him after the 30 days if he does not return to work................................

    Isn't that a legal/ethical discussion, and not a medical terminology discussion??

  7. #13837
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    I had the strangest conversation with my mother last night. She is a recovering alcoholic who started going to church last year. It's actually done her good to go since it's helped control her mood swings and anger issues (she believes by being a good person that she will get to heaven, so by believing in a higher power watching over her and having an end goal, she's controlling her behavior now!) Any how! So, she called me last night and we were just chatting and she says:

    Mother: "I had a good time at church today."
    Me: "Oh, really, what did you learn about today?"
    Mother: "Well, I saw a demon today at church."
    Me: "You saw a demon? Like, where? Standing by somebody?"
    Mother: "Well, it was ON somebody."
    Me: (jokingly) "Oh, was it on you?"
    Mother: "Yes!"
    Me: (still jokingly as I can't believe this) "Oh, what was it doing? Biting you?"
    Mother: "Yes!...and I know why it was there!"

    At this point I heard my dad (a non church goer) mumbling and she says:

    "Your dad says he doesn't want to hear about it."

    So, I told her I'd call her later to get the low down on this demon...lol...I'm intrigued on one hand and on the other, I feel sorry for her that she actually thinks she saw a demon...it's kinda freaky that her mind is under that kind of control by the church (pentecostal). I think she's going down the line of getting more and more fanatical (is that the right word?)

    Any how, just thought I'd share that since I don't seem to share much on here!

  8. #13838

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    Eep, that sounds scary, actually, if she's really SEEING things?



  9. #13839
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    I would be very alarmed.

    Is it just me, or does it seem like people with addiction issues seem to go from one extreme to the other? I have to wonder how helpful the concept of AA and the like are if the person becomes 'addicted' to religion.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  10. #13840
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    Quote Originally Posted by The10Eels View Post
    I confess I am super annoyed with my online medical terminology class... Our chapter was about the muscular system, so its all names of muscles, and different muscle injuries and diseases...

    then we get to the discussion board, and the question has NOTHING to do with terminology. (a man injures himself on the job. doctor tells him no work for 90 days, employer is found not at fault and tells him 30 days or dismissal) We are told to discuss whether or not we think the company can dismiss him after the 30 days if he does not return to work................................

    Isn't that a legal/ethical discussion, and not a medical terminology discussion??
    I'm thinking that maybe you can use the correct terminology in the discussion? Seems like most terminology classes are just memorization and so maybe the teacher is just trying to make things more interesting?

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  11. #13841
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I would be very alarmed.

    Is it just me, or does it seem like people with addiction issues seem to go from one extreme to the other? I have to wonder how helpful the concept of AA and the like are if the person becomes 'addicted' to religion.
    I actually think that it's true that one addiction often replaces another. You could have someone who goes from a food addiction to say exercise in the extreme. I haven't done that one myself. But I do know that it's documented in the medical literature that it's not uncommon for someone who has weight loss surgery to develop a problem with alcohol when there wasn't one before. And I did find myself on this path even though I KNOW that it's a problem having read the articles. but it was so fun at first because literally a few sips of wine and I was tipsy. Than it took more and more to get that fun tipsy feeling. But it was just in fun for a while until the last year. A lot of that was dealing with the infertility and trying to decide on using our money for our dream home or an adoption. And I never was a good one to fall asleep at night and really got into the nightly couple of drinks before bed. I don't think that I was an alcoholic yet but I could see that I was sliding down that path. Just like there are certain foods we don't keep in the house, we are not keep alcohol stocked in the house anymore. We do buy wine sometimes on weekends but that is it. I can't have a stocked bar or I will drink it. AT least until I break the habit. I will likely get some brandy when my inlaws are visiting for thanksgiving. But none before that unless I get sick and am coughing too much (brandy before bed works so much better for my coughing than nyquil or even my inhalers).

    I think that if you have the obsessive/addictive personality, you got it and will replace one addiction with others. Just too bad we can't pick the addiction....I wouldn't mind having the exercise one for a while!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  12. #13842

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I would be very alarmed.

    Is it just me, or does it seem like people with addiction issues seem to go from one extreme to the other? I have to wonder how helpful the concept of AA and the like are if the person becomes 'addicted' to religion.
    Completely. I don't think AA encourages, enough, that the underlying disorders that CAUSE addiction be treated. I know that's the case with my dad. He hasn't had a drop of anything in 30 years, but he's desperately afraid of flying, can't hold an intimate relationship worth a hoot and... eh. It didn't fix the problem. It kept him from drinking.



  13. #13843

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    I confess I totally sliced off nearly HALF of my fingernail last night cutting basil. For a moment I thought I'd cut through my finger to the bone and all I could think was "aw man not NOW." Luckily it just (literally) sliced half the nail clear off. But it HURTS.



  14. #13844
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    Yikes, Stash, glad you didn't get your finger!

    As for my mom, I think she really does believe she sees things...she gets the holy spirit and runs around the church sometimes apparently! And she's mentioned she's seen some fog in the mornings that she thinks is a ghost trying to communicate with her...she has totally replaced the drinking with church and it is scary! I guess I'm kinda mean because she'll talk about heaven and stuff to me and I'll say "well, I don't believe in that" but it just rolls off her and she keeps talking.

  15. #13845

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    I don't know what to say about the demon thing. I believe some people see that kind of stuff. Even my husband who pretty much thinks ghosts are a bunch of hoaxes said he briefly saw someone sitting on Josh's bed when he went in there to check on Josh one night. I don't believe anything 100% until I see it myself but I've heard enough stories (my father has experienced things too and he's not the type to make something up like that)
    I know personal experiences are the least believable type of evidence but I can't just brush it off.

  16. #13846

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    I confess that the breastfeeding thread is drudging up old feelings for me. I'm all for the article and see nothing at all wrong with trying to yell from the rooftops that breastmilk is superior to anything else we could feed our child. It's just makes me remember how miserably my body failed me and I can't help but think if my children had been born 100 years ago, before the breastpump and formula...they'd likely not have survived at all.
    I know it's silly but I can't help it.

  17. #13847

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    Oh Bridget, I still beat myself up for not breastfeeding too. Jeez, it took me forever to not cry at the thought of it. I wish I'd educated myself better. I thought it was going to be an easy, natural thing to do and it wasn't. When I found out Josh was losing weight when I was trying to bf and pump, I freaked out and went straight to the formula.

    I have an extra amount of guilt because Josh got elevated lead levels from the water at our store that we used for his formula.

  18. #13848
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    I confess, I don't really get why so many people get so into how someone else feeds their baby. BF, great. FF, that is just fine too. It's not like years later all the BF babies grow up to be great super healthy adults while all the FF ones are nasty unhealthy slobs. FF is not like giving the baby pop....formula is nutrition and babies will grow and develop just great with it.
    I was FF, my younger sister BF. Of the two of us, I had was probably a bit healthier but some of that is just because I think that i was an only child for a few years first. And her ear problems were still there even with BF (in fact she never took a bottle at all).
    In terms of intelligence, I would say we are about equal...and just prefer different subject areas.
    The one thing my mom said was if you were going to bottle feed, the baby needed to be held and propping with a bottle or when older, letting them walk around with one wasn't great. That way baby was still close and bonding still occurred. I took care of a lot of babies and holding them while feeding them was one of my favorite things.

    I do like the fact that BF is free. But FF is probably what I would do if I ever get pg. I work and pumping isn't really an option since I move around during the day and don't have access to a frig all the time. And DH would care for baby during the day and I want him to have the same bonding during feeding that I would get. And I have HS (skin condition) and sometimes it's on the breasts or under them and while not contagious, I still think it is gross and that FF would be better for my baby. I *might* go ahead and try a little in the beginning for the first few weeks while I would be on leave from work depending on how the skin was behaving.
    But really it's not anyone's business if I BF or FF anyway so I don't see why some get all worked up about something that doesn't affect them or their own child.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  19. #13849
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Just too bad we can't pick the addiction....I wouldn't mind having the exercise one for a while!
    Agreed

    Quote Originally Posted by stash View Post
    Completely. I don't think AA encourages, enough, that the underlying disorders that CAUSE addiction be treated. I know that's the case with my dad. He hasn't had a drop of anything in 30 years, but he's desperately afraid of flying, can't hold an intimate relationship worth a hoot and... eh. It didn't fix the problem. It kept him from drinking.
    I have a cousin that quit all his vices, and now he's stuck in a 2-3 mile radius and hasn't left his neighborhood in about 10 years. I wish he'd smoke some pot & get out, but he has serious anxiety just thinking about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I don't know what to say about the demon thing. I believe some people see that kind of stuff. Even my husband who pretty much thinks ghosts are a bunch of hoaxes said he briefly saw someone sitting on Josh's bed when he went in there to check on Josh one night. I don't believe anything 100% until I see it myself but I've heard enough stories (my father has experienced things too and he's not the type to make something up like that)
    I know personal experiences are the least believable type of evidence but I can't just brush it off.
    I know what you're saying. I swore my grandfather covered me up when I was sleeping one night. My blankets were on the floor, and I woke to see him standing next to my bed and he covered me. I was cold, then I wasn't. That's when I fully woke up and sat bolt-upright, but he was gone. It didn't scare me, it comforted me and it was very real.

    But now it's been 14 years and the cynical part of me says, "Are you sure you weren't dreaming?" I know at that time, I was absolutely 100% certain I didn't dream it.

    I like to keep those things open...but I do get concerned about people who throw themselves into religion and start seeing things. It seems to me that they're very vulnerable at that stage and anyone could manipulate them into thinking or doing things they wouldn't normally do.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  20. #13850

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    See, I sort of think we all should care. For me it relates to the health crisis in our nation, especially the health of children. I care so much about that stuff that I worry about it more than I should.

    But I think you can care without being judgemental. And for it's worth, I don't think that thread is judgemental at all. I think it's just stating the facts, hard as it may be for some. Fact is fact.

  21. #13851
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    I wish BF were more then norm and FF were just used in cases where it was necessary...like yours. The same for c-sections too...and I also wish that women that did have to have a c-section or FF weren't made to feel guilty or that they failed somehow...whether by outside forces or internal ones.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  22. #13852

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    I wandered into that thread but once I saw someone use the term "artificially feeding" referring to formula, I got the eff out. To me that was right up there with saying c sections are not a real birth.

  23. #13853

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    I confess I no longer know what is "normal" preschooler behavior and what is not. The way Josh is sometimes, I can't imagine why anyone would have a kid more than once And I feel awful saying that but there it is. We bought a surround sound system today and DH got called out in the middle of putting it all together so there are pieces everywhere. DH and I went outside together because I had to move my car up the driveway so he could get out. We stressed to Josh not to touch anything. I came in like 5 seconds later after moving my car and there were pieces of the system strewn all over the next room. I know it was our fault for leaving him alone but honestly I don't get what it is about their development that shuts off their hearing

    The thing is he's an angel until I walk in the room. He loves his gym day care and preschool and I never hear about any issues. But when I walk in to pick him up from the gym day care he hides under tables, throws things, refuses to come with me, even when I prep him when I drop him off, saying 'now when I pick you up, you're going to come with me and we'll go do _____' or whatever. He's all happy when I pick him up from preschool and then as soon as we get home he's a nightmare. I remind him again and again the same things every day, wash your hands and flush after going potty, don't put your cup on the edge of the table or you'll knock it over (it's already happened a few times), pick up one mess before making another, don't jump around the cats when they look mad at you like that--he laughs when they swipe at him in irritation...I've tried sticker charts, praise, rewards--I buy little games and arts and crafts for him and in 5 minutes he's bored with them.

    Where is the line between normal behavior and a problem? Is it me? Do I need to lighten up?
    It's like Groundhog Day over here and it's driving me insane.

  24. #13854

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    Impulse control. They have none. They hear you, they want to please you, but they also sooooo want to touch those tv parts and the part of their brains that keeps 'em from doing it hasn't developed yet. Totally normal.



  25. #13855

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    Quote Originally Posted by stash View Post
    Impulse control. They have none. They hear you, they want to please you, but they also sooooo want to touch those tv parts and the part of their brains that keeps 'em from doing it hasn't developed yet. Totally normal.
    Well said. I want to hang it on my wall.

  26. #13856

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    So what would be the appropriate response from me?

  27. #13857
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    Until the impulse control develops, you have to adjust his environment to reduce the temptation. If it's something you feel the need to warn him about not getting into, it's probably a good idea to assume it's not safe to leave him alone with it yet.

    About the hand washing, etc., have you tried singing a song about washing your hands? If you have a little song and it's part of the routine, it might help him to remember each time.

    And silverstar, that's scary about your mom. I don't know a lot of pentecostals, but the few I do know (or know of) seem to be really obsessed with devils/demons to the point that I find it really creepy. Your mother is definitely picking up on something there.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  28. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I wish BF were more then norm and FF were just used in cases where it was necessary...like yours. The same for c-sections too...and I also wish that women that did have to have a c-section or FF weren't made to feel guilty or that they failed somehow...whether by outside forces or internal ones.
    I love you, I love you, I love you.

  29. #13859

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    Thanks, I hadn't tried the song. I will try that.

  30. #13860

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    Just out of curiosity, when does the impulse control develop? LOL
    I didn't mention his temper. I worry about that. When he gets really mad he scrunches up his little face and does this like, roar. It's scary. And he gets really impulsive. He throws anything in reach, kicks, grabs things and knocks them over, etc.

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