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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #13381

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    Quote Originally Posted by stash View Post
    And the thing is Bridget, I sorely believe that until kids are old enough to understand what ****os people can be, and how to handle it without internalizing it, they shouldn't be exposed to that rot. It's not overprotectiveness, it's reasonable parenting.
    I totally agree. It is rot. And I think what a strange society we have created where parents have children and then are expected to work all the time and not even be their main teachers. Not to rip on working parents by any means. I know we all do what we have to do. Just really strikes me as a backwards way for a society to be set up.

  2. #13382
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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    It was 4th grade that I started to fall behind in math and had to stay after school all the time to finish my timed multiplication tables. I hated math in all forms after that.

    .
    See this it the thing that surprises me about education. We are pretty close in age and went to public schools in the same state. I was doing those 100 question timed tests in 2nd and a little bit in 3rd grade. My parents had copies of those tests and my dad would race against us to see who could finish first (at first he let us win but after a bit we really won against him...it was fun).
    I wasn't in an advanced class or anything until junior high....so really we should have been doing the same grade school subjects in the same grades.
    I can't imagine how hard it is to move with a kid in school when all these schools are doing their own thing.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  3. #13383
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    I think education is seriously one of those things that is just so dependent on where you live.
    There are more variables than that. When Bobbie and Jessica were in the early years of elementary school, we were on food stamps and other services. For me, as an advocating parent, they were the worst years. Their former school IS a good school (as far as academics, reputation, sports, etc.)....for parents of middle class or higher stature.

    Bobbie was physically hit, shoved, kicked, bit, etc for weeks and the school did nothing about it. I called, wrote, visited, plead, cried...nothing was ever done. I turned the school in for child neglect and it was founded because I had a copy of every letter and a log of every phone call. I even had a handwritten letter from her teacher that said, "It's been my experience that when a child is bullied, it's an indication that there is something wrong in the home." God, I'm getting furious just recalling this.

    After a few years and our income went up, and we aged, the kids were treated better and the administrators (principal, school psychiatrist, school nurse) absolutely treated me differently. I have zero doubt about it. It was either the money factor, or because I was young, but from the stories I've heard...I think it was because we were on assistance.
    Last edited by missychrissy; 09-08-2010 at 12:55 PM.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #13384

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    See this it the thing that surprises me about education. We are pretty close in age and went to public schools in the same state. I was doing those 100 question timed tests in 2nd and a little bit in 3rd grade. My parents had copies of those tests and my dad would race against us to see who could finish first (at first he let us win but after a bit we really won against him...it was fun).
    I wasn't in an advanced class or anything until junior high....so really we should have been doing the same grade school subjects in the same grades.
    I can't imagine how hard it is to move with a kid in school when all these schools are doing their own thing.
    Oh, you know what? It was 3rd grade that I was staying after for time tables. For sure it was 3rd grade because that is when we started changing teachers for different subjects. I totally remember my math teacher. It was 3rd. My mistake.

  5. #13385

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    Wow, I can see why some of you have aversions to public school, with all your terrible experiences. Makes my little desk-dumping story pale in comparision.

  6. #13386
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Wow, I can see why some of you have aversions to public school, with all your terrible experiences. Makes my little desk-dumping story pale in comparision.
    No, not at all. Those things are horrible and each 'little' incident can have quite a ripple effect on a sensitive child. You can never be too careful when you're dealing with kids. You never know when one off-hand comment could be a life altering event for them. That can go both ways-positive or negative. But dumping a student's desk on the floor cannot be conducive to anything positive.

    I always told my husband that one day I'd be waiting by a teacher's car for them. I think if one had done that to one of my kids, that would have triggered it.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  7. #13387

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Wow, I can see why some of you have aversions to public school, with all your terrible experiences. Makes my little desk-dumping story pale in comparision.
    No way! That would have mortified me.

  8. #13388
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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    Oh, you know what? It was 3rd grade that I was staying after for time tables. For sure it was 3rd grade because that is when we started changing teachers for different subjects. I totally remember my math teacher. It was 3rd. My mistake.
    Ah that makes more sense. I knew things varied a lot between states but I thought state level it was supposed to be more stable.
    My class did start multiplication at the end of second grade but it was mostly third.
    My friend has a daughter in second grade and it sounds like the math is very different than how we learned. Instead of just memorizing things like 5-3=2 it's more like if you have 5 marbles and take away 3, how many do you have left?
    Guess there was quite the debate among those parents about which one was better the other night.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  9. #13389

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    So, on another note, I’m making a postpartum perineum rinse this morning from a recipe my midwife gave me, to stick in the freezer (can you tell I’m nesting?) Oscar comes into the kitchen and says “what’re you making mom?” and I explain that vaginas are pretty small, and after the baby comes out of my vagina, it will be a little sore. That I’ll spray this on there to soothe it until it heals. He looks at me, cocks his head and says “Ah. Vagina tea.”



  10. #13390

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    Quote Originally Posted by stash View Post
    So, on another note, Iím making a postpartum perineum rinse this morning from a recipe my midwife gave me, to stick in the freezer (can you tell Iím nesting?) Oscar comes into the kitchen and says ďwhatíre you making mom?Ē and I explain that vaginas are pretty small, and after the baby comes out of my vagina, it will be a little sore. That Iíll spray this on there to soothe it until it heals. He looks at me, cocks his head and says ďAh. Vagina tea.Ē
    That. Is. Priceless.
    Vagina tea. I will never forget that as long I live.
    Recipe please!

  11. #13391

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    Sure. Boil 8 cups water and pour over the following in a big glass jar:

    - 1 oz uva ursi
    - 2 oz comfrey
    - 2 oz oat straw
    - 2 large crushed garlic cloves
    - 1 oz shephard's purse
    - 1/4 c sea salt.

    Let steep overnight, strain and freeze. Defrost when you go into labor.

    I plan to keep mine cool and use a peri bottle to apply it. I actually doubled the water just to be sure to have a ton of it, and I'll let it steep a bit longer.



  12. #13392

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    By the way, my laughter then led to a conversation about whether vaginas and penises (penii?) drink tea.



  13. #13393
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    Quote Originally Posted by stash View Post
    So, on another note, Iím making a postpartum perineum rinse this morning from a recipe my midwife gave me, to stick in the freezer (can you tell Iím nesting?) Oscar comes into the kitchen and says ďwhatíre you making mom?Ē and I explain that vaginas are pretty small, and after the baby comes out of my vagina, it will be a little sore. That Iíll spray this on there to soothe it until it heals. He looks at me, cocks his head and says ďAh. Vagina tea.Ē
    Oh. My. God. I think I just peed my pants.

  14. #13394

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    Vagina tea! You need to put that in the next APA cookbook!

    My mom still remembers the desk dumper.

  15. #13395
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bean View Post
    Oh. My. God. I think I just peed my pants.

    I think I know a good remedy for that!

    Oh, vagina tea.
    Vagina tea.
    Luckily it's got all that
    because my vagina's still fat
    And it could use the remedy.


  16. #13396

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    *snort*

  17. #13397
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    Totally cracking up here! I think fat vaginas must drink more vagina tea than skinny ones. Makes sense, right?

    Sooo many sad school stories. I absolutely hated school from day one. I have a September birthday so I was 4 years 11 months when I started kindergarten. The first day of school one of the children asked how old I was, and I told him I was 4. He told me I wasn't allowed to be in school unless I was 5. Hated school from that day on and never did like it again until I started studying for my SLP classes. Then I loved it. But I always did well in school except for math and loved learning on my own outside of school. I really do think the system needs to be reformed, and there are some great people with great ideas on that subject, but it's such a huge network of separate systems that real change will take time. I do think it's essential for the parents to do everything they can to advocate for real change.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    It is really amazing how much impact teachers have. I moved on average twice a year until high school, and switched schools at the very least once a year, maybe twice. I don't remember having very horrible things done to me or said to me by any teacher, and I remember some of them being quite outstanding. I also skipped a grade, so I was younger than most of my peers.

    The worst thing I remember (besides the teacher who erroneously corrected my spelling) was a teacher who was lecturing on hygiene and spoke at length why showers were cleaner than baths. Unfortunately, we didn't have a shower at the time, and we didn't even have a working bathtub. We bathed at the nearby hot springs 2-3 times a week then, but I always felt dirty after that.


  19. #13399
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    Oscar is a trip!

    Lydia, I couldn't imagine moving so much. My husband was moved around like that too...till he got in 8th grade and told his parents that was the last time. If they moved again, he was dropping out.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  20. #13400

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    I just got a surprising email from my older brother's wife. She wanted to let me know about some things happening that they'd be celebrating like first communions and things of that nature. She said she wanted me to know that I was always welcome but she totally understood if I'm not comfortable with "churchy stuff" and respects that I've taken a different path.
    Odd because we've never discussed it before. But nice that she's being cool. Ever since my mom first got really sick, sil has been making a significant effort to establish a relationship with my younger brother and I. I really give her props for that because things were dicey between us for a minute there and I certainly wasn't extending any olive branches. My younger brother told me a few weeks ago he's pissed off because he's really starting starting to like her.

  21. #13401
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    That's really cool she's starting to reach out to you and it seems like she said that in such a nice way. This way she's not excluding you or making you not feel welcome, but respecting your beliefs at the same time.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  22. #13402
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    I'm such a dork. I'm playing old songs on YouTube (Bridge Over Troubled Water) and singing along. Having fun, too. There's nobody to make fun of how I sound so I can just let loose and go for it. I think it sounds pretty good, too! Yes, I know I'm a dork.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    I'm such a dork. I'm playing old songs on YouTube (Bridge Over Troubled Water) and singing along. Having fun, too. There's nobody to make fun of how I sound so I can just let loose and go for it. I think it sounds pretty good, too! Yes, I know I'm a dork.
    That's awesome.
    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  24. #13404

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    I'm such a dork. I'm playing old songs on YouTube (Bridge Over Troubled Water) and singing along. Having fun, too. There's nobody to make fun of how I sound so I can just let loose and go for it. I think it sounds pretty good, too! Yes, I know I'm a dork.
    That's a really fun song to sing at the top of your lungs when no one is around. I used to have it on a mix tape and belt it out in my car.

  25. #13405
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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    My younger brother told me a few weeks ago he's pissed off because he's really starting starting to like her.
    That's funny! Glad she's being nice.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  26. #13406

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    Awesome Bridget! She does sound nice.
    I love belting out songs when I'm alone...which isn't often...LOL

  27. #13407
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    Me & my kids sing all the time, especially in the car. You should hear Conner sing Single Ladies. He cracks me up.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  28. #13408

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Me & my kids sing all the time, especially in the car. You should hear Conner sing Single Ladies. He cracks me up.
    I bet that is too funny!! Ky sang that once in our car before he realized I guess that I could hear him and he got embarrassed but I encouraged him to keep singing it so we had a good song that day.

    Elle loves "There Goes My Baby" by Usher and sings it constantly even when it is not playing. I think she believes the song is about her because DH points to her and says the words "loving every thing you do, oooh girl look at you" and she is always smiling about that. She just loves that song.

    Erin

  29. #13409
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    That is so sweet

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  30. #13410

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    I. Am. So. Furious. Last fall, we miscarried. The only local perinatologist, who did the ultrasound that determined we were miscarrying (we were doing a prelim ultrasound for a cvs procedure with him) refused me care during my miscarriage. I sent a complaint to the medical board about him, because he was so completely unethical in his treatment of me.

    My midwife suggested I have one BPP before birth, tomorrow. He's the only one in town who can do cord blood flow evaluation. I scheduled. They called and cancelled today, saying he will no longer see me. Ever. He's refusing me care again. A woman with a history of stillbirth because of cord blood issues who needs a BPP and he is the only one in town who can competently perform it.

    I am so mad.



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