I think it's a defense mechanism when they know they've just done something flatout dumb.
I think it's a defense mechanism when they know they've just done something flatout dumb.
I just want everyone to know that I am not homophobic or anit-gay. When prop 8 was first passed I was actually really upset with my family celebrating. I told them that it should be a bittersweet victory at the most, because yes, what they believe the Lord wanted had happened, but it also hut many of "god's children", who now cannot experience happiness. But to them I was the person whose feelings were less valid.
So I understand where the mods/Brad are coming from. I was just trying to help everyone see the other side of the issue. I think until we all understand where the mods are coming from we can't have a meaningful discussion about being allowed to discuss gay issues or having a GLBT room. Accusing everyone of being homophobic and unsupportive won't get a room made.
I'm not trying to lecture any of you either. I just know that a lot of the women in this room are the most vocal in the other thread. I don't want to lose any respect from you, or anything like that. This room means a lot to me, and I don't want what I am saying to have a negative impact on anyone. Especially since what I am saying are all hypothetical or what others could think, not anything I believe myself.
ETA: I know this probably isn't the place to put this, and I don't want to start any debates in here. But I have really, really, bad anxiety sometimes, and I'm convinced you all are going to hate me now.
Last edited by intactivstmom; 08-06-2010 at 02:58 PM.
"We cannot withhold facts for fear of offending because the importance of the information outweighs people's right to not be challenged in their beliefs." -Maddy Reid
In memory of all APA babies gone too soon; always loved and never forgotten
Shannah, I don't hate you. I get that you are coming from a different place and have a different experience with your family. I have never really been around that much in the way of christians or conservatives so it just seems so cut and dry for me.
My family is pretty liberal (though looking at my parents or myself you wouldn't know it....we appear pretty boring and traditional and people have actually asked me several times if I was mormon...huh?). But my uncle is gay, my aunt is gay and she has been with her partner for the same 12 years I have been with DH. They adopted two babies out of foster care and my cousins are now 6 and 8. It's just NEVER been a big deal in my family.
I truly have a hard time understanding the other side. Seems so easy....if you disagree with say gay marriage or the gay "lifestyle"....just go marriage an opposite gender and worry about your own bedroom and not others.
I mean for real, I'm a white girl and have dated non-white men before but for the most part I'm attracted to white guys with brown hair that are kind of nerdy. So I married a white guy with brown hair that is kind of nerdy. I wouldn't dream of telling anyone else what to do with their love life though. My BFF married a Hindu man and he is a pretty nice guy and we all get along great. She found what worked for me, I found what works for me. My sister has a thing for Canadians.Really WHO cares so much about someone else's bedroom.
I think I do not get it.
Jennifer, 34, DH 36
I don't hate you. You have a right to have an opinion just like everyone else.
And I don't think anyone was calling Brad or the mods homophobic, they were saying not being able to talk about gays is homophobic.
I don't hate you either and you remind me of myself actually in that thread as I always try to see the other person's perspective on controversial subjects. I also think we have similar backgrounds since most of my family are very evangelical Christians so I understood completely.
Erin
I seriously want pie.
Me too!! My dh is going to get me some yummy pie later today and I am so excited.Originally Posted by stephmama
Erin, for me learning to learning to see others perspectives is a necessary skill. If I couldn't at least try to see things my families way I wouldn't be able to tolerate them at all.
"We cannot withhold facts for fear of offending because the importance of the information outweighs people's right to not be challenged in their beliefs." -Maddy Reid
Shannah, I like you, and I definitely don't think you're anti-gay!
Heck, I like plenty of people who are anti-gay. I just don't like the opinion. You know, love the sinner, hate the sin and all that...
It's funny what Erin said about you reminding her of herself, because I had the same thought when I was talking to you before. It was like debating with myself.
I also hope no one hates me for sharing my POV.
I make AWESOME pie. I do the whole lattice-crust deal and everything. Haven't made one in aaaaages though.
I really like you, Shannah, amd I respect your arguments.
I confess I went to work today and am now royally pissed off. My school closed and they lost all my stuff. It didn't get moved with the rest. Then one of the teachers - the same one who told me I couldn't take the day off to take DH to the airport back in April because she would need to re-write her sub plans - asked for my help getting a student a 1:1 aide. She has FOUR aides who work for her, and 11 Students. And herself, of course. Last year she literally did not teach that child. She let him play on YouTube all day, not kidding. When I tried to work with him, he would tantrum, because as a communication expert the bottom line is, he has to interact with me. My approach is 100% child led but he just would not onteract with me because I won't let him zone out on the computer. Theb she would promise to come with him, he would do okay, she would leave, and he would panic bexause he didn't understand why she was gone. So today she tells me he needs an aide because I CAN'T work with him, oh and she is pregnant so she can't follow him around.
I am seriously planning to apply somewhere else. I am seriously underpaid in my job right now and stayed for the environment. This isn't worth it.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
sorry for the typos. On my phone still.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
Part of me knew nobody would hate me. But sometimes my anxiety is a lot stronger then any logic.
I've also been crazy emotional today, it's too early to be hormonal for af, and crying all the time for no reason was my first symptom with Robbie...
Gwenn, I'm sorry work is being so crappy right now. There is no way I could handle all the drama people deal with at work.
"We cannot withhold facts for fear of offending because the importance of the information outweighs people's right to not be challenged in their beliefs." -Maddy Reid
Oh, and I've been re-watching Big Love. It makes polygamy look like so much fun. Who wants to be my sister wife?
"We cannot withhold facts for fear of offending because the importance of the information outweighs people's right to not be challenged in their beliefs." -Maddy Reid
I love that show!
LOL. I think DH has enough problems with one wife.
Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks?
Hopelessly Devoted
I would love to have another wife here, but I'm not so good about relinquishing personal space.
Our baby is 3 years old already!
I confess we watch HLN news at work sometimes, and they've had a story on recently that has me thinking, and I think I will start a new thread to ask my question...
I confess I heard the song "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder on my way home from work tonight.. I used to really love that song, but it has been a good 2 years (at least) since I heard it last, and it literally made me sick to my stomach...
I confess I really wish I could just get over this all for good, and not let it bother me anymore... I'm to the point now where I have more good days than bad... but I'd rather have all good days, and no bad.. (concerning the split... I know its not realistic to NEVER again have a bad day in general)
Mandy - sorry about your coworker. Yuck. I hope you can find a better job. Work stress sucks.
When any of you figure out how to tell your DH some small parenting helpful thing and have him not turn into a defensive nut job, let me know. I need it over here too.
Have you POAS yet?
Oh, and I've been re-watching Big Love. It makes polygamy look like so much fun. Who wants to be my sister wife?*Love* that show. I posted this joke awhile back, but still funny:
"When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child.
The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this:
"Some parents," she said, "tell the older child, 'We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.' But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, 'Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.'"
One of the women spoke up immediately. "Does she cook???" "
Last edited by AbbeysMom; 08-07-2010 at 07:32 AM.
lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010
I confess my family is hibernating for some reason, and I have no idea what to do with myself.
lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010
I confess I need to stay out of new moms. It just reminds me of why our society is so sick.
LOL Abbeysmom, good one
I confess, I just sent out a (nother) 10,000 word report and honestly, it's getting way too easy to write these. But my brain is fried.
Get a sister wife
I'm only 9dpo, so I need to wait a liiiittle longer to poas.
"We cannot withhold facts for fear of offending because the importance of the information outweighs people's right to not be challenged in their beliefs." -Maddy Reid
That song gives me a rash. I swear, every radio station was playing that song every ten minutes for whole summer. It ruined the song for me forever. Plus I hate the meaning.
"We cannot withhold facts for fear of offending because the importance of the information outweighs people's right to not be challenged in their beliefs." -Maddy Reid
Good luck Shannah (or is it Shanna? I'm so confused!)
We went to Gay Pride today! It was super awesome.
Going out for drinks tonight in the first time in a bajillion years. Trying to convince DH to come with. I have nothing to wear though...ahh!
I'm trying to motivate myself to clean around the house a little while DH is out doing a gig but all I want to do is rest!
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I confess vacuuming out the van has to be one of my top most dreaded chores. I absolutely abhor doing it.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
I'm gonna be a Gramama!
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