Secular Confessions

[Cosmosmom]

I hate to admit it, but I think smoking helped with my appetite suppression. I am afraid of gaining weight again if I quit. I've already missed my quit date because of that fear.

But don't you think that even if you gained 10-20 lbs....that would be healthier in the long run than smoking?

Smoking really ages women but a little bit of fat makes us look younger (not obesity but just a little bit more fullness in the face is what I'm talking about).

Plus smoking is soooo expensive!

I really wish my MIL would quite but she has been smoking for like 40-45 years probably. At least when visiting me she smokes less since I won't allow it in my house....especially with DH's allergies and my asthma.

[missychrissy]

I really truly recommend Allen Carr's book "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking". Terrible title, but it was so helpful to me. It helped me work through a lot of my fears like gaining weight, etc. Even if you don't quit now you can read the book and allow the ideas to percolate and float around in your head to make you stronger when you do decide to quit. I cannot say enough good things about this program/book.

Thanks, I'll have to look for that book.

[Bridget]

Chrissy, I had that same worry. In fact, it's probably part of the reason I didn't quit until I had to when I got pregnant with Savana.
But I will say that I didn't start again and 8 months after I had Savana I was in better shape than I'd been in before I became pregnant. I could work out harder and longer. And let's face it, if you have the strength and willpower to quit smoking, you have the strenth and willpower to resist pointless eating.
You can do it. You can quit smoking and keep your hot bod. I'm sure of it.

[missychrissy]

I dunno...I started gaining weight right after I quit smoking. In 3 or 4 months, I was up 15 lbs. By a year, I was up another 15. That was 30 lbs total weight gain. I told myself at the time that it was because I was closer to 30 and that's what happens when you age. But then I was stuck at 150 and could not lose another lb to save my life...till I started smoking again and in less than 3 months I'm back to 140. I shouldn't even let myself think about it, but that's how it's happened.

I cannot say that if I did succeed in quitting now that I'd stay quit if I gained those 10 lbs back. I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I absolutely do not want to weigh more than 140. Even if that means I have to have a pack a day habit.

Believe me, I tell myself I'm ridiculous every time I think that...I'm just being honest with the thoughts that go through my head.

I will definitely try to not eat like a pig when I quit. I fear the food cravings will be worse than the nicotine ones though. I don't think I'm strong enough to fight those.

[missychrissy]

I do appreciate all your support. It does help...I'm hoping this week I will stop smoking and just see what happens.

[intactivstmom]

And let's face it, if you have the strength and willpower to quit smoking, you have the strenth and willpower to resist pointless eating.
You can do it. You can quit smoking and keep your hot bod. I'm sure of it.

This makes a lot of sense to me.

[Gwenn]

I dunno...I started gaining weight right after I quit smoking. In 3 or 4 months, I was up 15 lbs. By a year, I was up another 15. That was 30 lbs total weight gain. I told myself at the time that it was because I was closer to 30 and that's what happens when you age. But then I was stuck at 150 and could not lose another lb to save my life...till I started smoking again and in less than 3 months I'm back to 140. I shouldn't even let myself think about it, but that's how it's happened.

I cannot say that if I did succeed in quitting now that I'd stay quit if I gained those 10 lbs back. I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I absolutely do not want to weigh more than 140. Even if that means I have to have a pack a day habit.

Believe me, I tell myself I'm ridiculous every time I think that...I'm just being honest with the thoughts that go through my head.

I will definitely try to not eat like a pig when I quit. I fear the food cravings will be worse than the nicotine ones though. I don't think I'm strong enough to fight those.

Chrissy, seriously, it isn't worth it. 10 lbs? Not worth the health risk, and smoking will age you far more than 10 lbs will. I agree, if you can quit smoking you can resist eating. Find a replacement you can live with, like chewing sugar free gum or something.

[Gwenn]

I confess I've been feeling really down about my looks lately. Really, really down. Well, DH is coming for another visit and I decided I'm not going to feel bad about myself any longer. After he lost his job, I haven't had a professional hair cut and stopped getting my brows done, etc. It was just too much money and I couldn't justify it. I got my hair cut last week but still thought I looked like crap. Today I went and got my brows done for the first time in two years, and I keep walking by the mirror and thinking I look SO much better. Like, it's taken 5 years off me. Now I'm just pissed at myself for letting myself go for so long.

[daylilies]

I'm glad you feel better about how you look, Gwenn.
My husband hates short hair and shaped eyebrows so if I look like crap I only have him to blame LOL

[Bridget]

Gwenn, it's crazy how eyebrow shaping can make such a difference. I have naturally...thick eyebrows. For years my one friend would tell me I should get them waxed and I never cared to. Then one day another good friend was doing my hair at the salon she worked at and she insisted. I couldn't believe the difference. And over the next few weeks I got a ridiculous amount of comments on how great I looked and how something was different. I couldn't believe it.
I do my own now with those sally hansen strips.

[missychrissy]

Eyebrow waxing is mandatory for me. I have a uni-brow. Ugh.

I'm glad you did something for yourself. Even if you let your hair go due to finances, I think you should still go in for your eyebrows. It'll feel and look so nice!

[daylilies]

You know, I think I might get my eyebrows done sometime. I bet DH won't even notice LOL

[missychrissy]

You really should. I love how mine look when they're first done. I don't know if my dh notices or not...but he fell in love with me way before I knew what tweezing was, so if he could love me with bushy brows, he can love me in various stages of waxed.

[Cosmosmom]

My hair stylist asks if I want my eyebrows done. I have always said no. I don't have a uni-brow....and I have bangs and wear glasses so most of the time they aren't really visible. Usually just the first week or so after a cut since I have her go a little bit shorter on bangs than is ideal...so I can make a cut last more like 7 weeks instead of 5 weeks.

[midgeend]

Actually came on here to confess that I'm so upset that the brakes went out on my van and I don't have any money to fix it since they cut off unemployment benefits so now I can't go workout at the gym during my normal time anymore and I've been feeling kind of blue for the past 8 days that I haven't worked out. Sigh.....Luckily DH did some tweaking on his huge old 82 Silverado that is in need of a muffler so I will be waking up the neighborhood at 5am tomorrow to go to the gym.

Erin

i hate car trouble. it really stinks.

I hate to admit it, but I think smoking helped with my appetite suppression. I am afraid of gaining weight again if I quit. I've already missed my quit date because of that fear.

.
when i quit, i became crazy vigilant about tracking food and water...maybe obsessively so, b/c i was terrified to put weight back on. i ended up losing 3 pounds before getting pg w/ annie. it was like a game for me...something to prove almost - like "i can quit, and not get fat...i'll show you, body" i'm very competitive...so that worked for me.

You know, I think I might get my eyebrows done sometime. I bet DH won't even notice LOL

you will love it...it makes me feel so good about how i look.

[daylilies]

But then I will have to start wearing eyebrow pencil because you can barely see my eyebrows if I don't. LOL
I go through makeup phases...right now I'm in a "no makeup" phase.

[missychrissy]

Actually came on here to confess that I'm so upset that the brakes went out on my van and I don't have any money to fix it since they cut off unemployment benefits so now I can't go workout at the gym during my normal time anymore and I've been feeling kind of blue for the past 8 days that I haven't worked out. Sigh.....Luckily DH did some tweaking on his huge old 82 Silverado that is in need of a muffler so I will be waking up the neighborhood at 5am tomorrow to go to the gym.

Erin

I'm sorry I missed this. I hate care troubles. And I hate that you're out of unemployment too.

when i quit, i became crazy vigilant about tracking food and water...maybe obsessively so, b/c i was terrified to put weight back on. i ended up losing 3 pounds before getting pg w/ annie. it was like a game for me...something to prove almost - like "i can quit, and not get fat...i'll show you, body" i'm very competitive...so that worked for me.

That's a really good attitude to have. I will definitely talk to myself in that manner when the time comes.

[stash]

I confess I've been working since 6am and am still in my jammies.

[missychrissy]

Lucky to still be in your jammies...but ewe at the 6 am bit.

I'm wearing my new size 7 jeans and feeling pretty stinking hot today. lol

[daylilies]

So I tried to meet up with a friend at the zoo but we couldn't find a parking place, so we went home and I called her. She didn't pick up and now two hours later she called and I asked if she wanted to come over here later. She said she has to talk to her son (who's 3) and call me back in half an hour. It takes that long to ask a child if he wants to go see a friend? LOL
I swear sometimes trying to make friends is more of a PITA than it's worth. I've set aside my whole day to possibly meet up with a person who asked me if I was pregnant when we first met. (I wasn't, LOL)
Sorry...I'm in a mood again today!
Josh has become sort of vicious lately....when I tell him no, or ask him to stop something, no matter how gently or compromisingly I try to tell him, he attacks me. Flails with his arms, scratches me, screams in my face, that kind of thing. It's lovely. DH is on my case about feeling so distant from me and yet every time he opens his mouth he backhandedly insults me or he doesn't listen to me or something. How can I respect and feel close to someone who treats me like that? When I feel like he doesn't hear or care about a word I say? Sooo I just feel like I'm kind of in a nightmare these days.

[Gwenn]

So I tried to meet up with a friend at the zoo but we couldn't find a parking place, so we went home and I called her. She didn't pick up and now two hours later she called and I asked if she wanted to come over here later. She said she has to talk to her son (who's 3) and call me back in half an hour. It takes that long to ask a child if he wants to go see a friend? LOL
I swear sometimes trying to make friends is more of a PITA than it's worth. I've set aside my whole day to possibly meet up with a person who asked me if I was pregnant when we first met. (I wasn't, LOL)
Sorry...I'm in a mood again today!
Josh has become sort of vicious lately....when I tell him no, or ask him to stop something, no matter how gently or compromisingly I try to tell him, he attacks me. Flails with his arms, scratches me, screams in my face, that kind of thing. It's lovely. DH is on my case about feeling so distant from me and yet every time he opens his mouth he backhandedly insults me or he doesn't listen to me or something. How can I respect and feel close to someone who treats me like that? When I feel like he doesn't hear or care about a word I say? Sooo I just feel like I'm kind of in a nightmare these days.

Ugh. I hope things get better.

[daylilies]

Thanks Gwenn...
Pretty soon I'm just gonna go out and forget about the playdate. She still hasn't called me back!
Hahaha...I just told Josh to go wash the jam off his face and he laughed and said "Jam???" I usually say jelly. He was totally confused.

[missychrissy]

I think a serious sit-down is in order. You're right, you cannot be close to him if he doesn't listen.

[daylilies]

He'll just say I get offended too easily and that I take everything the wrong way. Maybe I do. I don't know.
Heck with it, I need to go put a bra on (the wire popped out of the one I was wearing this morning) and go grocery shopping.

[intactivstmom]

So I tried to meet up with a friend at the zoo but we couldn't find a parking place, so we went home and I called her. She didn't pick up and now two hours later she called and I asked if she wanted to come over here later. She said she has to talk to her son (who's 3) and call me back in half an hour. It takes that long to ask a child if he wants to go see a friend? LOL
I swear sometimes trying to make friends is more of a PITA than it's worth. I've set aside my whole day to possibly meet up with a person who asked me if I was pregnant when we first met. (I wasn't, LOL)
Sorry...I'm in a mood again today!
Josh has become sort of vicious lately....when I tell him no, or ask him to stop something, no matter how gently or compromisingly I try to tell him, he attacks me. Flails with his arms, scratches me, screams in my face, that kind of thing. It's lovely. DH is on my case about feeling so distant from me and yet every time he opens his mouth he backhandedly insults me or he doesn't listen to me or something. How can I respect and feel close to someone who treats me like that? When I feel like he doesn't hear or care about a word I say? Sooo I just feel like I'm kind of in a nightmare these days.

I'm sorry things are so crappy for you.

I have such a hard time meeting people too. The friends we do have stand us up 80% of the time. I wish all the time that I lived by some APA mommas.

[Bridget]

Okay, I just looked in the mirror and realized I'm way overdue for an eyebrow wax. I swear, you guys, life has taken a toll on me lately. I look like crap. Sometimes I look in the mirror midday and I'm like .

My best friend just texted me and asked me if her, her dh and kids could come over for a sleepover on friday night and bring dinner. I love her so much. Her kids are super wild and usually break something in my house almost every time they come over but it's worth it. She is a fabulous friend. I'm glad I still have my old friends around because I'd hate to try to meet new friends now. I feel like most women my age think I'm a little strange.

I think I need a ticker and I don't know how to make one. Anyone feel like helping me?

[daylilies]

I'll spare you another rant...but I should have stayed home. LOL

[Bridget]

One of my daycare parents is a few years younger than me. She looks me up and down every single time she walks in my house. I know I don't dress like a typical thirty something but it's very unnerving. I shop at thrift stores and like to look unique. And I still wear the bell bottom blue jeans with sewn on patches that I wore in my twenties. You know that feeling when I woman just looks at you from head to toe but doesn't say anything. I haaaate it.

[Bridget]

Okay, I just looked in the mirror and realized I'm way overdue for an eyebrow wax. I swear, you guys, life has taken a toll on me lately. I look like crap. Sometimes I look in the mirror midday and I'm like .

My best friend just texted me and asked me if her, her dh and kids could come over for a sleepover on friday night and bring dinner. I love her so much. Her kids are super wild and usually break something in my house almost every time they come over but it's worth it. She is a fabulous friend. I'm glad I still have my old friends around because I'd hate to try to meet new friends now. I feel like most women my age think I'm a little strange.

I think I need a ticker and I don't know how to make one. Anyone feel like helping me?

Aw girl, rant away.

[Gwenn]

Okay, I just looked in the mirror and realized I'm way overdue for an eyebrow wax. I swear, you guys, life has taken a toll on me lately. I look like crap. Sometimes I look in the mirror midday and I'm like .

My best friend just texted me and asked me if her, her dh and kids could come over for a sleepover on friday night and bring dinner. I love her so much. Her kids are super wild and usually break something in my house almost every time they come over but it's worth it. She is a fabulous friend. I'm glad I still have my old friends around because I'd hate to try to meet new friends now. I feel like most women my age think I'm a little strange.

I think I need a ticker and I don't know how to make one. Anyone feel like helping me?

With all you've been through of course like has taken a toll. Go do something nice, just for yourself.

I'm glad you have good friends that you can count on. That's worth so much!

And the ticker - go to alternatickers and it'll walk you through. It's not hard.

I'll spare you another rant...but I should have stayed home. LOL

So, so sorry.