Secular Confessions

[stash]

Oscar is OBSESSED with how things work. Not vehicles, but anything that moves. Machines. I don't think it's a boy thing because he doesn't sway toward other typical boy things. It's just the way his brain works. He's getting a variety of erector set-like things for his birthday. He's constantly telling me about "his machines" - the machines he imagines building in his head. It's lovely.

Krista, I'm going to be blunt. There is nothing to feel shame for. **** happens. You guys screwed up. We all screw up. Your screw-up happened to land you in an awkward place that you WILL work your way out of. Shame and guilt will be abso-freakin-lutely nothing to help the situation and will most likely dig your butt further into a hole of some sort. You'll be paralyzed with fear and shame and not have the freedom of mental space to think of strategies to make things better. You'll continue to gain weight and feel even WORSE, compelling the cycle to continue.

Your husband is wrong. Things won't simply be okay. I mean, they WILL be okay, but someone needs to acknowledge your feelings. It's scary. It's stupid. It's annoying. It's going to be difficult. No doubt. Saying it will simply be okay is dismissing and denying the reality that even though it WILL be okay, it will suck. Tell him that. That even though you appreciate his positive attitude, he needs to get real and talk about what this really MEANS. I can empathize with this, because I have a husband who is super-optimist-man. It's great, but sometimes I have to look him in the face and say DUDE THIS SUCKS ADMIT IT.

Okay, so exercise sucks. Agreed. Where do you live and what do you like to do? Are walks an option? Gardening?

[missychrissy]

I have to say I agree, exercise sucks. Even though I feel wonderful after running, I never really feel like I want to do it. I force myself to.

I started out walking 2 miles a day. I never intended on becoming a runner. It just happened. I think I walked 2 miles a day for 2 or 3 years before I started trying to jog. My initial attempts at it were laughable.

[Cosmosmom]

I third exercise sucks

Now to just figure out how to force myself to do it. Only thing I ever liked was swimming and don't have a pool anymore and the local ones are not great. Plus I was always a slow lazy swimmer anyway, more of a floater.

[intactivstmom]

I realize that I sound insensitive about how fast I got out of the house...I didn't think about it in terms other than my own experience...so I'm sorry if I sounded like I think everyone should just snap right back

I didn't think you sounded insensitive, I only thought of it in terms of your own experience, and I only meant mine in terms of my own experience.

wow-that's big. Is this a sudden decision, or have you been discussing it for a while? I wish you both luck!

It was sudden for me, but not for him. He has been thinking about it a lot more than I realized, but he never really talked about it. Dh has some pretty serious communication issues. Every once in a while he would mention something about wanting a new job. Then yesterday he broken down and told me all about everything and begged me to let him quit.

[intactivstmom]

Oscar is OBSESSED with how things work. Not vehicles, but anything that moves. Machines. I don't think it's a boy thing because he doesn't sway toward other typical boy things. It's just the way his brain works. He's getting a variety of erector set-like things for his birthday. He's constantly telling me about "his machines" - the machines he imagines building in his head. It's lovely.

That is awesome. You are awesome too, for supporting that and getting him presents to encourage him.
Dh has a very mechanical brain too. He studies machines and figures out how they work and then tries to figure out how to make them better. He wanted to make me a breast pump when Robbie was in the NICU but I didn't think I could support that endeavor.

[missychrissy]

I confess I had every intention of running last night, but I fell asleep on the love-seat waiting for 8:00 pm to come around. I napped till after 10!

[daylilies]

I'm really hoping that it's true that what you eat matters so much more than how much you exercise. I think I could like healthy food more easily than I could make myself like exercise. LOL
So last night as sort of a "last hurrah" as I called it, I made some 'terrible for you but oh so good' queso dip with the leftover Velveeta (I never had Velveeta in my life until my husband wanted me to make this queso dip recipe he heard about) and we finished off the chips too. I think with it being summer it will be easier to eat healthy. I hope.

[midgeend]

I'm really hoping that it's true that what you eat matters so much more than how much you exercise. I think I could like healthy food more easily than I could make myself like exercise. LOL
So last night as sort of a "last hurrah" as I called it, I made some 'terrible for you but oh so good' queso dip with the leftover Velveeta (I never had Velveeta in my life until my husband wanted me to make this queso dip recipe he heard about) and we finished off the chips too. I think with it being summer it will be easier to eat healthy. I hope.

I think it's true. I lost 40 pounds 6 years ago, just using the WW program, the online version. Then after Annie was born, same thing, 30-40 pounds, diet alone. And I'm hoping that it works again, because now I don't see where I'll have time to exercise with the two kids, and no funds for a gym membership.

[missychrissy]

Walk! We'll go hiking in the gorges. I like to hit each one at least once a season. I better get moving on that, we haven't been to any yet.

[3andMe]

I'm really hoping that it's true that what you eat matters so much more than how much you exercise. I think I could like healthy food more easily than I could make myself like exercise. LOL

From what I've read recently, diet helps much more with weight loss than exercise. Fewer calories, and healthy eating = weight loss. Exercise helps in general with health and cardiovascular fitness and metabolism, but is not the big part of losing weight.

[intactivstmom]

I'm worried you will all hate me when I tell you I'm trying to gain weight so when we ttc at the end of the year I am at a better weight for pregnancy. With Robbie I was told I was technically underweight and need to gain 40lbs.

Maybe we can figure out a way to switch metabolisms or something.

[missychrissy]

Nah, I don't hate you. I spent most my life being underweight. I don't know what happened, but at 28 it changed. Hopefully you'll continue on.

eta: What am I saying? I'm a size 7, it's not like I need to lose any more weight. If I stay here forever, I'll be ok with it. But I would like to lose 10 more lbs. lol

[Gwenn]

Nah, I don't hate you. I spent most my life being underweight. I don't know what happened, but at 28 it changed. Hopefully you'll continue on.

eta: What am I saying? I'm a size 7, it's not like I need to lose any more weight. If I stay here forever, I'll be ok with it. But I would like to lose 10 more lbs. lol

Yeah, I was very thin throughout my teens and 20s. I also started to put on a little weight around 28/29. It just starts to catch up with you at that point. I wouldn't call myself overweight now, but I'd like to lose about 10 lbs.

[daylilies]

I don't hate you. Weight problems go both ways. I'm sure it's just as hard to try to put on weight (healthily, anyway) as it is to lose it.

[stash]

My husband has always been on the underweight side, me on the overweight side. Both are a pain in the ass.

Diet is way more important for weight loss than exercise. In fact, sometimes when I'm very active I have MORE difficulty losing weight because for me very active = bigger appetite.

[AbbeysMom]

I confess I killed the knocked-up-heathens thread and I'm sorry.

I haven't posted in forever but read what y'all have written all the time, so I'm like a crazy secular stalker.

Dh has a very mechanical brain too. He studies machines and figures out how they work and then tries to figure out how to make them better. He wanted to make me a breast pump when Robbie was in the NICU but I didn't think I could support that endeavor.

That sounds like something my DH would offer.

[missychrissy]

My husband was fascinated with my first breast pump. He had to check it all out and compare/contrast it with the milk pumps he used in the dairy barns. He marveled at the smaller pieces, but I take it they're very similar.

He also informed me that the name of Petocin (sp?) is very similar to what they use to induce labor in cows, but now I cannot remember what he said it was.

[AmeriBrit]

I confess I killed the knocked-up-heathens thread and I'm sorry.

You didn't kill it, we just need to revive it...come on, people, start posting about your pregnancies on the other thread! LOL.

I read a lot more on here than I post just cause a lot of times I feel like I don't have much to add to the conversation.

[missychrissy]

oops, sorry

[missychrissy]

My husband was fascinated with my first breast pump. He had to check it all out and compare/contrast it with the milk pumps he used in the dairy barns. He marveled at the smaller pieces, but I take it they're very similar.

He also informed me that the name of Petocin (sp?) is very similar to what they use to induce labor in cows, but now I cannot remember what he said it was.

Oxytocin, I googled it.

[AbbeysMom]

My husband was fascinated with my first breast pump. He had to check it all out and compare/contrast it with the milk pumps he used in the dairy barns. He marveled at the smaller pieces, but I take it they're very similar.

He also informed me that the name of Petocin (sp?) is very similar to what they use to induce labor in cows, but now I cannot remember what he said it was.

OMG, my DH also compared parts of my labor to back when he helped with "laboring cows on the farm"... until I told him he was essentially comparing me to a cow, which made him a complete arse.

[missychrissy]

You didn't kill it, we just need to revive it...come on, people, start posting about your pregnancies on the other thread! LOL.

I read a lot more on here than I post just cause a lot of times I feel like I don't have much to add to the conversation.

I'm not pregnant But if y'all start posting over there, I'm coming with ya.

[missychrissy]

OMG, my DH also compared parts of my labor to back when he helped with "laboring cows on the farm"... until I told him he was essentially comparing me to a cow, which made him a complete arse.

We had that conversation too...he calls me his Heifer. With him, it's not an insult though. You'd have to know him and hear the context to really believe he's not being insulting in any way.

[AmeriBrit]

LOL. Farm talk is funny. I was reading a book about labor the other day and it was comparing human births to animal births and it said a lot of men will say "why don't animals make such a big fuss over labor like women do" and it went on to explain how our brains are more complex for dealing with the pain as well as our body structure being different...lol..interesting stuff!

[missychrissy]

Cows moan in labor. I've heard them. But the human brain is very fascinating.

[shutterbird]

My husband has always been on the underweight side, me on the overweight side. Both are a pain in the ass.

Diet is way more important for weight loss than exercise. In fact, sometimes when I'm very active I have MORE difficulty losing weight because for me very active = bigger appetite.

She's right... and that's why I can't lose weight. I suck at the diet part. (to me)

[Ky'sMom]

She's right... and that's why I can't lose weight. I suck at the diet part. (to me)

I suck at the diet part too because I like to eat a lot. Luckily I dropped some weight really quickly by just eating more veggies and drinking water and not eating fast food more than once amonth, but now I'm at my pre-PG weight with Ky and back before I got PG with him I had issues losing weight because of my eating habits so I'm going to think of one big thing to change and go with that for a while.

I actually love working out and crave it and get depressed when I don't.

Actually came on here to confess that I'm so upset that the brakes went out on my van and I don't have any money to fix it since they cut off unemployment benefits so now I can't go workout at the gym during my normal time anymore and I've been feeling kind of blue for the past 8 days that I haven't worked out. Sigh.....Luckily DH did some tweaking on his huge old 82 Silverado that is in need of a muffler so I will be waking up the neighborhood at 5am tomorrow to go to the gym.

Erin

[missychrissy]

I hate to admit it, but I think smoking helped with my appetite suppression. I am afraid of gaining weight again if I quit. I've already missed my quit date because of that fear.

[AbbeysMom]

I hate to admit it, but I think smoking helped with my appetite suppression. I am afraid of gaining weight again if I quit. I've already missed my quit date because of that fear.

I lost 5 pounds when I quit because I was more active without really trying. I would get winded or avoid walking long distances but my lungs got stronger and my body followed.

[girlwonder]

I hate to admit it, but I think smoking helped with my appetite suppression. I am afraid of gaining weight again if I quit. I've already missed my quit date because of that fear.

I really truly recommend Allen Carr's book "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking". Terrible title, but it was so helpful to me. It helped me work through a lot of my fears like gaining weight, etc. Even if you don't quit now you can read the book and allow the ideas to percolate and float around in your head to make you stronger when you do decide to quit. I cannot say enough good things about this program/book.