I confess that inadvertently told my cousin that my brother was gay by referring to him and his boyfriend while telling a story. It had gotten to the point that he doesn't really care if anyone knows, doesn't want to make a big announcement, but then won't really bring his boyfriend around people who don't officially know. Anyway, my cousin gave the whole, "We love him no matter what" speech which was all fine and dandy until later when we were talking about something unrelated and she said, "I don't have anything against homosexuals but I don't feel sorry for the either. They made that choice." It just blows my mind and makes me sad that people can be so clueless. Not sure I'm a fan of someone loving my brother in spite of his gayness anyway. I mean, wtf is that? How big of you.
The good news being that my cousin, her husband, my brother and his boyfriend are all going out together tomorrow night. It's good for my brother to be open.
My mom had to check into hospice care today. She has bouts where the pain from the open sore on her chest is unbearable and it scares my dad. She is not happy at all about having to go but I think it has just as much to do with my dad's absolute exhaustion as it does with her pain. Of course he won't leave her side while she is there but at least someone else will be managing her pain. He also hopes they will check to see how much the cancer has spread at this point.
I'm sorry, Bridget.
"Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov
Bridget, I'm so sorry.
Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
Facebook just creeps me out sometimes. I just went on there and in my news feed it said my 15 year old niece had just become facebook friends with an ex-boyfriend of her mother's (my sister's) that my sister still keeps in touch with every so often. He's one of my brother's best friends so she probably found him that way. I happen to know enough detail here about what went on 20 years ago or so that it's kind of creeping me out to see him facebook friends with my niece. He's a really nice guy, it's just the concept. Ick.
She's also facebook friends with his daughter, who is the same age she is, but still. Ick.
Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
Facebook can be totally wacked in that way. I always say that some people you really were never meant to see or hear from again and facebook kind of messes with that fact. I had a request from some woman one day. I didn't know who she was so I looked at her profile and it was really a little creepy. Well I noticed we had 12 mutual friends so I emailed a handful of them to find out who she is and no one knows. Yet they still accepted her! That is crazy to me.
And can I just give a big fat huge UGH. Dbf left for Vegas on friday. He's playing in some poker tournaments over there with his dad's financial support. Well before he left he went on about how he's not drinking out there and he wants to stay really focused and how he considers it a "working" trip. Mind you, I did not ask him not to drink. He came to me with it.
He called me this morning at 4am Vegas time. Drunk. I had to just hang up. I so so so so so do not have the energy or the dithers to deal with his crap. I mean, come ON. It's actually quite cruel for him to be over there partying it up while I'm over here going through the most difficult thing of my life thus far.
I'm sorry about your mom Bridget. Hospice care can be really great though, for everyone involved, so I really hope it helps your dad and you as well as your mom.
As for your cousin - that stuff makes me so irritated as well. #1 - I'm 100% sure that people who are gay did not choose to be that way, I am very close to many gay people, and every single one of them is happy with who they are, but would tell anyone who was concerned that it was something they either knew or suspected from a very young age - like 4 or 5 - and had no control over. Why would anyone choose to have a sexual orientation that didn't afford them the same rights as all other citizens? There are more gay people who choose to be straight, than the other way around. #2 - Gay people aren't asking for sympathy, so your it's really weird that your cousin says "she doesn't feel bad for them at all, since they chose to be that way"
To your DBF Bridget.
I mean really?? He's being a real jerk.
Oh Bridget, Hugs.
And GEEZ about your cousin. Doesn't feel sorry for them? Well okay GOOD because no one's asking her to. That's not the issue. The issue is that they're denied basic human and civil rights. It's a legal issue, not one of empathy. And it doesn't rightly matter whether they chose to be that way, or are that way simply by nature. I've known both in my life - people who are simply born to partner with the same sex and people who "sit on the fence" and have made a decision based on their partners. They've fallen in love, basically. Oh such an awful thing
I had a friend in Hawaii whose boyfriend's father was always really rude and cold to him. One day my friend asked the guy if he was always going to treat him this way because he wasn't going anywhere so best to make friends. The dad, all pissed off, said, "Well, I'm so sorry but it's really not very pleasant for me to picture my son having sex with another man."
My friend said, "So the reason that you are nice to your daughter's husband is because it's pleasant picturing him having sex with your daughter?"
The guy was all flabbergasted and treated my friend much better from that point on.
Oh my god I love that! That's hysterical. I wish I could see the reaction on someone's face with that kind of response thrown their way. Good for him
I'm sorry you're dealing with your mother being put in hospice while dbf is away. And I'm sorry about your cousin's attitude...
And yes to the facebook stuff...I got a request from someone, I had no idea who she was and we had no friends in common. I also hate it when fb "recommends" someone and I have no idea why.
I also hate it when people ask you to join pages that are run by one of their friends but it's someone you don't know. One of my friends has a friend who is making a movie and he keeps asking me to join her movie's fan site and I'm like no. I don't care that she's local talent or whatever, I don't know her and her movie doesn't even interest me.
I don't know why I'm still on facebook...
I became an official UU church member today. Woohoo!
first off to you bridget! i'm so sorry
I confess I just found this room today!
I confess I only read the first and last pages...maybe one day (not likely, sorry) I'll read the other 375 pages.
I confess I will say that I'm going to keep up with this thread from page 377 on, but the likelihood of that actually happening is slim to none =oP But i you ladies anyway!
I finally made a blog!
Bridget-that dbf of yours is just the limit!! imo (for what it's worth) you had every right to be angry with him.
The only thing on Facebook that's really irritating me right now is my friend from high school who keeps trying to get me to join her Pure Romance page. She's always posting about her sales and it's just disturbing to me. I don't care what anyone does in their bedroom, but I'm not about to broadcast that kind of personal info on Facebook. I'm not going to purchase anything from her either.
Bobbie is on the fence about her sexual orientation. I don't care either way, but I am at a loss as I don't know what to 'advice' her, or if I even should. I know I never had any doubt in my mind about my own sexual orientation. So far, I've just been supportive and listened. Tonight she told me that the biggest reasons she feels she might be gay is 1) she feels she connects easier with women (but she's limited to rednecks with little intelligence, so that doesn't really surprise me) and 2) penises are ugly and she's afraid of them. I did laugh a little (not AT her, mind you) and told her that penises are ugly, no matter what and that's normal to feel that way...and being afraid of them is normal too. Maybe she's just not 'ready' yet. I said the only thing I don't want her to do is shut the door on any possibilities...meaning, if she meets a guy she does connect with in college, I don't want her to automatically count him out just because he has a penis. But I did reassure her that anyone she fell in love with would be accepted by me.
Who knows what the future will bring...I'm just glad she can talk to me about this stuff. I hope I don't say things that upset her though.
Last edited by missychrissy; 05-30-2010 at 08:36 PM.
Chrissy, that's great you can talk with her so candidly about it, and that she can tell you what's worrying her.
I do feel sorry for her if she's only on the fence because she's only meeting redneck guys. Totally different situation, but in my case when I was her age I was really into choir and musicals and all the guys I met were gay but not out of the closet. My friend and I used to sit around and wonder what was wrong with us. Then I started moving in different circles and met straight guys and the rest is history. So I feel for her there. But if she really is leaning that way, it's good she can think about it and talk about it openly and honestly.
Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
Chrissy, my best friend in high school was afraid of the penis. She got over it pretty quickly.
Yeah, I agree that penisis are not pretty.
Chrissy, It's great that she's talking to you. I think that is the absolute most we can ever hope for, that our children always confide in us.
Penises are weird. But I can vouch for the fact that vaginas (including my own) are also very weird.
Chrissy, it's excellent she can talk to you. I had this discussion with my little sister years ago. I'd say the best advice to her is to remind her that it doesn't have to be a DECISION she makes. Meaning, she doesn't have to stick a flag in the ground and announce to the world "I'm gay!" just like she wouldn't announce "I'm straight!" Tell her to simply live her life. Create good friendships, REGARDLESS of sex, and when she finds someone she loves, go with it. And do remind her that SEX is scary because she's never done it before, and that really, being afraid of a penis is like being afraid of a nose or an ear.
I don't think I'd be totally against having a relationship with a woman. I never have and have always been quite interested in men but, dang, I've had it with men. I really, really have. And I know they aren't all jerks. I have a son, after all so I know some boys are lovely. Just not the ones that fall in love with me.
I've often lamented to my friends that if only they had a penis I'd marry them in a heartbeat. Now that I have my children I'm starting to wonder if the penis is so important anymore.
I have a headache. I normally get a headache the day before my cycle starts. I went to look at the calender and I'm 2 weeks late.
It's just the stress.
OMG joy, I just found a secular homeschool site that actually looks GOOD: http://www.secularhomeschool.com