Secular Confessions

[Bridget]

I think it's not so much about Bridget's Dbf having different beliefs, but rather that he's too careless to be mindful about what he says on the matter. Bridget already asked him what his beliefs were and how he wanted to handle it, and he didn't give her anything to work with.

ETA: I totally don't mean to be putting words in your mouth btw Bridget, this is just my take on it.

On another matter, isn't Chrissy having her surgery today? I hope all goes well.

No, you got it. Thank you!

I might have missed that part...I was not online a lot the past few days since my sister was visiting.

It is a subject though that I think a LOT of people aren't totally sure what they believe. At least I know that I fall into that group. I wouldn't know where to begin with a child because I don't know what I believe and I don't think that we can know.

So that's what you say. You say you don't know. And you try to figure it out together. The think with dbf is he's doesn't care. He says the first thing that pops into his head, the easiest thing. And no matter what he believes, he disrespected me by saying exactly what I asked him not to say without discussing it with me first.

[Bridget]

I'm actually all for telling Josh what people believe and letting him choose. If he chooses what makes sense to him and what makes him happy, I don't see a problem with that.
UU religious education involves going to churches of different faiths and observing their services, and learning about them in class. They're not told "these people are wrong because they believe in heaven". I trust Josh to make an informed decision on what he believes. No matter what it is, nobody can say he's right or wrong. We just don't know.

But do you think you'll tell him a bunch of different answers when he asks you questions? Like, some people believe this and some people believe this and...etc? Or will you just, for example, say Bambi's mom is not coming back because she died and when someone dies they don't come back. And then approach the subject of heaven when he hears about it and asks about it?

[daylilies]

I guess it depends when and how he asked. At this age I would not explain a bunch of things. I probably would say "no, she's not coming back"

[daylilies]

My cousin is engaged!! I am so happy for her. She just posted on fb yesterday that it was their 9 year anniversary (basically they've known each other since she was like 14 I guess) and she was like "where is my ring? ha ha" and he asked her that night. (I had a feeling...)
He is really sweet.

[sunrider]

Is there gore, though, in Dexter? I can handle a totally twisted plot, I just cannot handle SEEING the violence.

I agree - if it's just descriptions of the violent acts, I could deal just fine.

It is gory...a lot of bloody scenes, and the lead up to Dexter's killings are always pretty harrowing...and some of the story lines are pretty disturbing.

well poo. Never mind then. I had suspected as much.

[3andMe]

Yes, for those of you who can't stand gore, stay away from Dexter. They film him making cuts on his victims, and tastefully cut away when he picks up the power tools, but you still see a lot of blood. It is really good, though. He's such a kind and decent boyfriend. He really does try, and although all of us know better when she says he's perfect, he actually IS, for her.

Bridget, your dbf is just... grr. That would make me bonkers, too.

37 week appointment today. My BP is up 30 points (but it started off low), so I got labs drawn to check for the beginnings of pre-E. Dh is going to be out of town for 3 days this upcoming week, so I have asked my mom to be available by phone and within an hour's distance 24 hours/day while he's gone. Dh actually asked to be taken off this trip and they said fine, but then someone else canceled and he had to cover. For the second time ever, I have all of his hotel reservation information. Just in case. I hope I don't need it.

Claire had a nightmare the other night--she woke up screaming my name and when I went to her, she said she was dreaming that I had fallen in a lake and was gone. I hugged her back to sleep and then an hour later she had another nightmare, so I brought her into our bed and she slept on top of my forehead the rest of the night. And by "rest" of the night, I just mean until morning, since there was no resting on my part. I think it's going to be very hard on them when I'm in the hospital, since I've never been gone past 5 PM.

[missychrissy]

Yes, I had my surgery today ladies and I'm trying to catch up, but I admit the pain killers are making it difficult for me to even hold my eyes open. Everything went very well and it's considerably less painful than I anticipated, however I am still under the influence so who knows if I'll feel the same tomorrow.

I do discuss what I know of other people's beliefs with my girls. We research on Google for things I don't know and have a lot of banter about religions and beliefs.. I haven't yet needed to have that sort of discussion with Conner really...I don't know what I'd say/do if I were in your place Bridget. My heart breaks for all of you whenever I think about it. I wish life were perfect and we could keep children in the dark about death for a really long time.

Conner does know 'dead is dead' and that it's forever. I think I told you about my mistake in saying his batteries in a toy were dead, and his total melt down about it By the time I was done explaining rechargeable batteries, I was afraid I made death even more confusing.

[Cosmosmom]

Chrissy, glad to see you posting and that all went well!

I cannot believe you can even be online...last surgery I had and was on the drugs afterwards, I couldn't even read kids books my eyes wouldn't focus!

[missychrissy]

My eyes keep closing on me. I won't be on long

[The10Eels]

Congrats Chrissy!!! lol

[Cosmosmom]

Yes, for those of you who can't stand gore, stay away from Dexter. They film him making cuts on his victims, and tastefully cut away when he picks up the power tools, but you still see a lot of blood. It is really good, though. He's such a kind and decent boyfriend. He really does try, and although all of us know better when she says he's perfect, he actually IS, for her.

.

I think that grey's anatomy is much more gore. Or even discovery health! At least with this I know if I'm looking at a pool of blood, I just think that it looks like paint or something.

I'm SOOO glad they cut out when power tools are picked up! And I will never look at plastic wrap again the same way. LOL

Dexter is just so likeable.......

[addysonreese]

I'm so glad everything went well, Chrissy!!!

I just got back from my "wonderful" meeting with my pre-med advisor. Apparently, this state residency issue is going to follow me for years if I can't get it figured out.

There are 8 medical schools here in Texas, and they follow the same rule that all state schools do - 90% of their admissions go to residents, and 10% are left to be fought by out of state residents.. if the state decides to let in out of state residents. My advisor isn't worried about anything but me getting accepted until I become an in-state resident.

To top it off, I had to walk the four miles from UTA to my apartment in the Texas heat because I had no one to take me home and Clinton had to work. Today sucks.

[stash]

I'm actually all for telling Josh what people believe and letting him choose. If he chooses what makes sense to him and what makes him happy, I don't see a problem with that.

Right, and I'm not against telling Oscar what other people believe. But I think there's a rational, appropriate age to tell him those things. To do so too early is potentially planting inappropriate seeds and inadvertently swaying his beliefs one way or another. At the age of three, or four, a child is impressionable beyond belief. You want to give him loads of abstract what-ifs when he can barely figure out why it rains outside, even with careful explanation?

Give you an aside example. Oscar asks me recently (again) how the baby got in my belly. I tell him (again) that daddy has sperm and mommy has eggs in her belly. That daddy's sperm gets into mommy's belly and when they meet up, a baby "seed" forms, like his sunflower seeds. The seed grows, and if it's a "good seed" it becomes a baby, which it has. Sometimes the seeds don't grow and they just decompose. If it does grow, it keeps growing until the baby is big enough to live on its own. I avoid talking about penises and vaginas, or using the word "death" with the seed, because that's a level of information I don't think he's asking for, and I don't think he needs to really think about yet. I ask him "is that what you were asking sweety, or do you need more information?" And he says "no mom, I get it, thanks." Age appropriate material.

In a similar sense, providing children with the basics of life and death are age appropriate material for 3-4, IMO. Providing them with a world view of spiritual beliefs is not. Yet. It's far more complicated than they are able to reason through yet, and it's not necessary for their current state of education. Why muddy and confuse the already confusing?

When they get older - I can't wait to explain all the different religions, spiritual beliefs, and let Oscar choose (or choose not to seek, which in my personal opinion is the healthiest route). I'll support him no matter which way he goes, though I may not agree with him.

[stash]

I also leave out bits about the possibility of babies dying during pregnancy (like his brother) or dying shortly after birth. That's information I COULD provide, but it's not age appropriate. See where I'm going?

[Gwenn]

I've had a really rough time the last couple of days and everything is pissing me off - my MIL, admin people at work, etc. My students have been challenging too, and I'm not sure if they were just challenging to begin with, or if my temper is too short. Kevin is leaving Friday and we're both pretty stressed. However, we've been really trying to make the most of our time together and in that sense it's been really good.

[missychrissy]

I'm so glad everything went well, Chrissy!!!

I just got back from my "wonderful" meeting with my pre-med advisor. Apparently, this state residency issue is going to follow me for years if I can't get it figured out.

There are 8 medical schools here in Texas, and they follow the same rule that all state schools do - 90% of their admissions go to residents, and 10% are left to be fought by out of state residents.. if the state decides to let in out of state residents. My advisor isn't worried about anything but me getting accepted until I become an in-state resident.

To top it off, I had to walk the four miles from UTA to my apartment in the Texas heat because I had no one to take me home and Clinton had to work. Today sucks.

Oh no!! Did he/she have any suggestion on what you can do now to establish residency in TX? What about opening a prepaid credit card? Would that be sufficient.

Right, and I'm not against telling Oscar what other people believe. But I think there's a rational, appropriate age to tell him those things. To do so too early is potentially planting inappropriate seeds and inadvertently swaying his beliefs one way or another. At the age of three, or four, a child is impressionable beyond belief. You want to give him loads of abstract what-ifs when he can barely figure out why it rains outside, even with careful explanation?

This makes perfect sense to me. I wouldn't tell Conner what other people believe either, although Sydney did tell him something was in heaven recently. I let it slide-but mostly because it didn't go any further and he wasn't curious about it at all.

I know the time is coming, and I really need to formulate some sort of plan. I did tell Bobbie and Jessica about heaven, but when I did so I really believed.

[missychrissy]

I've had a really rough time the last couple of days and everything is pissing me off - my MIL, admin people at work, etc. My students have been challenging too, and I'm not sure if they were just challenging to begin with, or if my temper is too short. Kevin is leaving Friday and we're both pretty stressed. However, we've been really trying to make the most of our time together and in that sense it's been really good.

I can't imagine how stressful this must be. I'm glad your time with him is good.

[Gwenn]

I can't imagine how stressful this must be. I'm glad your time with him is good.

Thanks! I'm glad your surgery went well!

[daylilies]

I confess I was looking up stuff about Sesame Street on wikipedia and I read about Mr. Hooper's death and how the cast dealt with it (I was much too young to remember it actually happening). It sounded so emotional for everyone, I was practically in tears reading it! They did the whole scene dealing with his death in one take because the cast couldn't handle it.

[missychrissy]

[addysonreese]

I've had a really rough time the last couple of days and everything is pissing me off - my MIL, admin people at work, etc. My students have been challenging too, and I'm not sure if they were just challenging to begin with, or if my temper is too short. Kevin is leaving Friday and we're both pretty stressed. However, we've been really trying to make the most of our time together and in that sense it's been really good.

I'm sure this must be very tough on you. I am so sorry.

Oh no!! Did he/she have any suggestion on what you can do now to establish residency in TX? What about opening a prepaid credit card? Would that be sufficient.

Clinton found a list on the UTA website (that I couldn't find - he's a better sleuth than me!) regarding what they will consider for residency. They're all "12 month" things, like proof of a job for 12 months, etc. So I have to take a look and check it out. I have at least 3 years before I need to worry completely, but at least I'm aware of this now. If I can find something on the list I can do for 12 months, I'll be set for next years' tuition, so maybe this is a step in the right direction.

I think having a chance to lie down and relax and think about it has made me feel better. I wasn't losing all hope before, but I was definitely a bit angrier about it.

I confess I was looking up stuff about Sesame Street on wikipedia and I read about Mr. Hooper's death and how the cast dealt with it (I was much too young to remember it actually happening). It sounded so emotional for everyone, I was practically in tears reading it! They did the whole scene dealing with his death in one take because the cast couldn't handle it.

I remember that episode - at least hearing about it, anyway. So, so sad. I do think it was great that they tried to really explain it as best as they could to their young audience, instead of just getting another actor, or saying he moved away, or something that would make it easier. I'm sure it wasn't easy to film, but it touched on a topic that not many children's shows would have. I have always loved Sesame Street.

[Gwenn]

I was thinking, I have some of you on my facebook but not many of you. Anybody who'd like to friend me on fb, PM me! (Not that I post much on there).

[missychrissy]

Clinton found a list on the UTA website (that I couldn't find - he's a better sleuth than me!) regarding what they will consider for residency. They're all "12 month" things, like proof of a job for 12 months, etc. So I have to take a look and check it out. I have at least 3 years before I need to worry completely, but at least I'm aware of this now. If I can find something on the list I can do for 12 months, I'll be set for next years' tuition, so maybe this is a step in the right direction.

I think having a chance to lie down and relax and think about it has made me feel better. I wasn't losing all hope before, but I was definitely a bit angrier about it.

I can totally understand why.

[MammaMia]

I've had a really rough time the last couple of days and everything is pissing me off - my MIL, admin people at work, etc. My students have been challenging too, and I'm not sure if they were just challenging to begin with, or if my temper is too short. Kevin is leaving Friday and we're both pretty stressed. However, we've been really trying to make the most of our time together and in that sense it's been really good.

I hope the next few days are better!

I'm so glad everything went well, Chrissy!!!

I just got back from my "wonderful" meeting with my pre-med advisor. Apparently, this state residency issue is going to follow me for years if I can't get it figured out.

There are 8 medical schools here in Texas, and they follow the same rule that all state schools do - 90% of their admissions go to residents, and 10% are left to be fought by out of state residents.. if the state decides to let in out of state residents. My advisor isn't worried about anything but me getting accepted until I become an in-state resident.

To top it off, I had to walk the four miles from UTA to my apartment in the Texas heat because I had no one to take me home and Clinton had to work. Today sucks.

Ugh, I'm sorry Lauren. I hope you can get it all sorted out.

Right, and I'm not against telling Oscar what other people believe. But I think there's a rational, appropriate age to tell him those things. To do so too early is potentially planting inappropriate seeds and inadvertently swaying his beliefs one way or another. At the age of three, or four, a child is impressionable beyond belief. You want to give him loads of abstract what-ifs when he can barely figure out why it rains outside, even with careful explanation?

Give you an aside example. Oscar asks me recently (again) how the baby got in my belly. I tell him (again) that daddy has sperm and mommy has eggs in her belly. That daddy's sperm gets into mommy's belly and when they meet up, a baby "seed" forms, like his sunflower seeds. The seed grows, and if it's a "good seed" it becomes a baby, which it has. Sometimes the seeds don't grow and they just decompose. If it does grow, it keeps growing until the baby is big enough to live on its own. I avoid talking about penises and vaginas, or using the word "death" with the seed, because that's a level of information I don't think he's asking for, and I don't think he needs to really think about yet. I ask him "is that what you were asking sweety, or do you need more information?" And he says "no mom, I get it, thanks." Age appropriate material.

In a similar sense, providing children with the basics of life and death are age appropriate material for 3-4, IMO. Providing them with a world view of spiritual beliefs is not. Yet. It's far more complicated than they are able to reason through yet, and it's not necessary for their current state of education. Why muddy and confuse the already confusing?

When they get older - I can't wait to explain all the different religions, spiritual beliefs, and let Oscar choose (or choose not to seek, which in my personal opinion is the healthiest route). I'll support him no matter which way he goes, though I may not agree with him.

Great advice. Can I call you for advice when it's time to talk to Mia about this stuff?

Chrissy - I'm so glad that all went well!

[Cosmosmom]

anyone else read Dan Brown? I am reading The Lost Symbol right now, have about 100 pages left and there is a lot of talk about noetic science.

Noetic sciences use scientific methods to explore the "inner cosmos" of the mind (consciousness, soul, spirit) and how it relates to the "outer cosmos" of the physical world. In other words, they study how people come to know things or affect things through experiences or capacities (intuitions, synchronicities, psi, “after-death” communication, energy healing, etc.) that have no apparent rational explanation, and what this says about the nature of human consciousness.


While I know of course that Dan Brown writes fiction, he also tends to weave in a lot of real places and things and groups.

anyway it has me thinking a lot. I really have no clue if I believe in a soul or spirit.
I'm not really religious at all (I was more hard core atheist in college...I mellowed with age). but I kind of sort of do believe in an afterlife of some sort I think. Maybe more like a dream like state...where sometimes you are aware and sometimes you just aren't.
I think I must believe in afterlife since I do believe in ghosts having experienced it firsthand.

Course I'm not even sure that I can prove my own existence.......let alone anything else.

[Cosmosmom]

I was thinking, I have some of you on my facebook but not many of you. Anybody who'd like to friend me on fb, PM me! (Not that I post much on there).

I don't think I have anyone from here on my FB.....

[Cosmosmom]

Hey Kate, you will get a kick out of this. So my sister has vanity plates that say GAGA FAN and she was driving home from my house Sunday and was somewhere near Madison. She sees the people behind her doing something in the window and she realizes that they are taking a picture. As they drive past her, they do the whole monster claw thing and smile. Totally made her trip! (it's a five hour drive)

[missychrissy]

I love Lady Gaga!!

[daylilies]

LOL That's awesome.

[MammaMia]

anyone else read Dan Brown? I am reading The Lost Symbol right now, have about 100 pages left and there is a lot of talk about noetic science.

Noetic sciences use scientific methods to explore the "inner cosmos" of the mind (consciousness, soul, spirit) and how it relates to the "outer cosmos" of the physical world. In other words, they study how people come to know things or affect things through experiences or capacities (intuitions, synchronicities, psi, “after-death” communication, energy healing, etc.) that have no apparent rational explanation, and what this says about the nature of human consciousness.


While I know of course that Dan Brown writes fiction, he also tends to weave in a lot of real places and things and groups.

anyway it has me thinking a lot. I really have no clue if I believe in a soul or spirit.
I'm not really religious at all (I was more hard core atheist in college...I mellowed with age). but I kind of sort of do believe in an afterlife of some sort I think. Maybe more like a dream like state...where sometimes you are aware and sometimes you just aren't.
I think I must believe in afterlife since I do believe in ghosts having experienced it firsthand.

Course I'm not even sure that I can prove my own existence.......let alone anything else.

I don't believe in a soul as something separate from the body. I figure we wouldn't need a brain or body if souls could exist independently.

Hey Kate, you will get a kick out of this. So my sister has vanity plates that say GAGA FAN and she was driving home from my house Sunday and was somewhere near Madison. She sees the people behind her doing something in the window and she realizes that they are taking a picture. As they drive past her, they do the whole monster claw thing and smile. Totally made her trip! (it's a five hour drive)

Haha, that's awesome!

I confess, I saw a guy last night that I could swear I used to know, but I can't for the life of me figure out how. It's driving me crazy!