Secular Confessions

[missychrissy]

I was diagnosed with dysthimic disorder when I was about.. 17 or 18. The records are at a hospital in NY.. I'm not even sure if they still have my records on file.

I just checked my student account and my financial aid has been figured out. I'm getting money, a good amount, but I'm still iffy on how much will cover my tuition. I haven't registered for classes, and there are always hidden fees, so I'm not sure how I can find out what I should be looking at. I have no money in pocket that I could owe them, so that's out of the question.

ETA: In looking at my financial summary, it says I still owe them 7 grand.. but if you take out room and board (I'm commuting) that cuts that out right there. I need to call the office tomorrow and confirm all of this.

Can you make an appointment with someone in the financial aid office? They should be able to help you find extra funding.

Also-call NY and get a letter or something with your diagnosis. It can't hurt to try and they have to keep certain things for 25 years (I worked in a few NY medical offices, so I know this is a fact). I'm not sure how much they keep or for how long, but a diagnosis is definitely something they can find for you and send on letterhead.

Is is possible to drive to the place you worked as a temp and get them to type something up? Tell them you need your work history. It shouldn't be too hard for them to do.

[Cosmosmom]

I would love to get married, but if I were to do so, it would affect my financial aid, since they'd have to go off of my spouses' tax return as well. Being technically single helps them go off just my forms, and I make diddly squat.

That is true there! It would depend on how much is made I guess.

[Cosmosmom]

That's the biggest reason we waited until I finished my Master's to get married. However, Jennifer has a good point and if you don't plan to wait until you are finished with ALL your schooling (and then be 36 and still TTC#1 as I am) you might want to weigh both the benefits and the drawbacks and see which makes more sense.

Really? We got married just before I started my masters and it didn't affect us there. But than again I was just getting federal loans or paying cash when we could. And DH wasn't making mega bucks.

[stash]

I confess BFN this morning, 14 days after I think I O'd.

DH says he just doesn't believe it. He says he's "just had a feeling" this month.

I don't know ... I've been told those tests are very accurate (I took a FRER) and I don't have any reason to distrust it. Then again, AF isn't here and I've been a little nauseous in the mornings. But I know it's too early for that and it's probably allergies. And DH wants it to be wrong because he's leaving in less than two weeks. I don't really want to hang on to something that isn't true.

I got a BFN with this baby at 13DPO, and a BFP at 15DPO.

[addysonreese]

Can you make an appointment with someone in the financial aid office? They should be able to help you find extra funding.

Also-call NY and get a letter or something with your diagnosis. It can't hurt to try and they have to keep certain things for 25 years (I worked in a few NY medical offices, so I know this is a fact). I'm not sure how much they keep or for how long, but a diagnosis is definitely something they can find for you and send on letterhead.

Is is possible to drive to the place you worked as a temp and get them to type something up? Tell them you need your work history. It shouldn't be too hard for them to do.

I'll probably call them, or at least search for the offices I went to, since I wasn't seen in the hospital itself, and see if I can get them to send me something.

As far as funding goes, I'm going to call the aid office today (if I can stop getting a busy signal - second time this has happened ) and find out how they will cut out the room and board charge, and this stupid charge called transportation.. not sure what that is considering the school doesn't have shuttle buses or anything. If I can get those items taken off - and the room and board should be since I didn't apply for housing - then I should have enough money to pay for school with the aid that I have received. I've applied for scholarships just to make sure.

I can't speak to my temp job because the site has been shut down, and since I didn't go to the new place, I have no idea where it is. Even if I did, I only worked there for two weeks, which isn't considered proof that I came to Texas for more than school.

[missychrissy]

As far as funding goes, I'm going to call the aid office today (if I can stop getting a busy signal - second time this has happened ) and find out how they will cut out the room and board charge, and this stupid charge called transportation.. not sure what that is considering the school doesn't have shuttle buses or anything. If I can get those items taken off - and the room and board should be since I didn't apply for housing - then I should have enough money to pay for school with the aid that I have received. I've applied for scholarships just to make sure.

I think there is hope here. kup on what they say.

[Janeen]

I'll probably call them, or at least search for the offices I went to, since I wasn't seen in the hospital itself, and see if I can get them to send me something.

As far as funding goes, I'm going to call the aid office today (if I can stop getting a busy signal - second time this has happened ) and find out how they will cut out the room and board charge, and this stupid charge called transportation.. not sure what that is considering the school doesn't have shuttle buses or anything. If I can get those items taken off - and the room and board should be since I didn't apply for housing - then I should have enough money to pay for school with the aid that I have received. I've applied for scholarships just to make sure.

I can't speak to my temp job because the site has been shut down, and since I didn't go to the new place, I have no idea where it is. Even if I did, I only worked there for two weeks, which isn't considered proof that I came to Texas for more than school.

I know that here in Denver, that transportation charge (or whatever they call it here) is because every student is eligible for a free city bus pass for the semester if they are at least part time credits and it's not optional. Well, you don't have to get the sticker on your student ID that makes you eligible to ride the bus for free but you still have to pay the fee.

[The10Eels]

Yeah... In Alaska you had to pay the transportation fee, and it was because the university provided a shuttle from the parking areas to the main buildings on campus. You didn't have to ride, but you did have to pay the fee... and if you parked in those parking areas, you also had to buy a parking permit... so they got you twice...

[The10Eels]

I really hope they will cut the room and board... That would be ridiculous for them to try and charge that if you aren't going to be living on campus... bogus

I know how frustrating it is to try and get charges all figured out... I had lived in Alaska for 14 years when I started college... I had graduated from an Alaskan high school, etc... and yet when I got my statement they were charging me out-of-state tuition... I had to go through my financial statements, and find the one showing that I got the Alaska Permanent Fund Dividend to prove my residency....

[missychrissy]

I'm sure they'll cut the room and board since you won't be living on campus. I'm really getting excited for you again and am holding my breath that this all works out.

[addysonreese]

I know that here in Denver, that transportation charge (or whatever they call it here) is because every student is eligible for a free city bus pass for the semester if they are at least part time credits and it's not optional. Well, you don't have to get the sticker on your student ID that makes you eligible to ride the bus for free but you still have to pay the fee.

Yeah... In Alaska you had to pay the transportation fee, and it was because the university provided a shuttle from the parking areas to the main buildings on campus. You didn't have to ride, but you did have to pay the fee... and if you parked in those parking areas, you also had to buy a parking permit... so they got you twice...

That's what I figured. But since this summary is for someone out of state, I'm thinking it has something to do with that. UTA has no shuttles. I'm on hold now, and it's one of the questions I'm gonna ask.

Speaking of being on hold, I hate when they have two types of automatic messages, because when they switch, I think I'm gonna get to talk to someone! haha

[Cosmosmom]

I'm trying to think back and I think that they generally show room and board at first on package letters because so many students use them. And in some schools Freshman HAVE to live on campus unless they are a certain age or living at home.

I'm sure that once you decline that portion and I'm guessing that is at least 7K a year, that will go off your record.

I did five years of undergrad at three different colleges and took four years for grad school (part-time)....and seriously dealing with Financial Aid offices was ALWAYS the biggest PITA about going to school. Every year it was something.

My sister basically had the same issues with fin aid offices.

[Cosmosmom]

Don't they sometimes throw in a line about living expenses for a typical student (above room and board) and maybe the transportion is the average for a live on campus student to get back home?

I was an undergrad from 1998-2003 so it's been a little while!

[addysonreese]

Just got off the phone.

Wow, that woman was a b!tch. When trying to explain things to me, she had such an attitude. Ugh, lol.

Anyway, she told me that I won't get charged for anything I don't utilize, but I won't know exactly how much my tuition will be until I register. I can assume room and board is gone, which takes out $7472.00 exactly from my tuition for the year. So, technically, with what I was granted for the year, I just slide under the mark.

As far as transportation, she said that's something that covers things like gas, car insurance, etc. No clue exactly if I really need something like that, but she said that I won't get charged anything that I won't utilize, so that's still up in the air.

I'm gonna apply for as many scholarships as I can to make sure I'll have enough for extra costs, but as long as nothing else goes wrong, I'm pretty sure I have just enough aid to cover my tuition.

[missychrissy]

I'm gonna apply for as many scholarships as I can to make sure I'll have enough for extra costs, but as long as nothing else goes wrong, I'm pretty sure I have just enough aid to cover my tuition.

Oh that's wonderful!!!

Sorry that woman was a b!tch.

[addysonreese]

Oh that's wonderful!!!

Sorry that woman was a b!tch.

Thanks

She must have just really hated her job or something.. but if I worked in financial aid, I would too

[missychrissy]

I knew someone who worked in the financial aid office at Cortland, and it can be trying...but that doesn't excuse her from being rude/snotty to you. I figure the 'b!tch' can be turned on on an as-needed basis. jmho

[The10Eels]

as long as nothing else goes wrong, I'm pretty sure I have just enough aid to cover my tuition.

YAY

[daylilies]

It was a freaking madhouse at the zoo this morning and then in a lapse of judgement I bought him a pen he wanted, that had a face on it and 'hair' coming out the top so I kind of hoped he wouldn't figure out it was a pen. Well he did and I foolishly let him hold it on the way home and found his brand new jeans scribbled all over when we got home. I kind of overreacted and sent him to his room, I am just so sick of telling him the same thing over and over. I have good intentions and then I just cannot handle it when I feel like I'm wasting my breath. It pisses me off like nothing else. I know he's a child and it's my fault for letting him have the pen in the first place but for heaven's sake, I really thought kids were more impressionable than that, and when a parent says "Dont write on your pants/the couch/the walls" that they'd WANT to make their parents happy, and listen. Silly me.

I just was not prepared for this. It confuses me like nothing else, that all I ever do is try to make the kid happy, and he throws it all in my face. I KNOW he doesn't know he's doing this, but that doesn't make me feel any better.

[missychrissy]

If you have hairspray in the house, that will get ink out of clothing.

[daylilies]

I might have some around...
I'm sorry if my post sounded despairing or anything...I just sometimes really get in a funk about his behavior, like all the good things I'm trying to instill aren't working. But I know it'll all work out in the end.

[midgeend]

Just got off the phone.

Wow, that woman was a b!tch. When trying to explain things to me, she had such an attitude. Ugh, lol.

Anyway, she told me that I won't get charged for anything I don't utilize, but I won't know exactly how much my tuition will be until I register. I can assume room and board is gone, which takes out $7472.00 exactly from my tuition for the year. So, technically, with what I was granted for the year, I just slide under the mark.

As far as transportation, she said that's something that covers things like gas, car insurance, etc. No clue exactly if I really need something like that, but she said that I won't get charged anything that I won't utilize, so that's still up in the air.

I'm gonna apply for as many scholarships as I can to make sure I'll have enough for extra costs, but as long as nothing else goes wrong, I'm pretty sure I have just enough aid to cover my tuition.

They're going to set you up with a lender, who gives you up to what you were granted...and then tuition/room/board would automatically be taken out of that if you've signed up for it...and then you can opt to take however much more is left...so if there's $5,000 more for books, commuting, etc...then you just take what you need for books if you don't want to borrow money for other living expenses.

[addysonreese]

I might have some around...
I'm sorry if my post sounded despairing or anything...I just sometimes really get in a funk about his behavior, like all the good things I'm trying to instill aren't working. But I know it'll all work out in the end.

You're doing the best you can. I'm sure it's frustrating at times.

I confess I think I have a pinched nerve. Off and on since about October, my arm has been bothering me. Sometimes it'll hurt in my shoulder, sometimes in my forearm, sometimes my wrist will hurt or my thumb will, and sometimes it's in the upper arm. We recently moved my stuff to a desk in the bedroom so I could have some space to hang out and everything, and since then it's been bothering me again. If I go to my normal spot, on the couch with the laptop resting on my lap, I'm fine.

My mom said they never really heal, you just have to minimize the exposure to what pinched it in the first place.

[addysonreese]

They're going to set you up with a lender, who gives you up to what you were granted...and then tuition/room/board would automatically be taken out of that if you've signed up for it...and then you can opt to take however much more is left...so if there's $5,000 more for books, commuting, etc...then you just take what you need for books if you don't want to borrow money for other living expenses.

The lender part I'm familiar with.. since I've had student loans before.

I'm just confused about buying books. Do I go to the bookstore and just get the books, or do I pay out of pocket for them? My financial aid covers the amount for books and supplies, so I'm not sure how all that works. When I went to CC I only got one loan that covered my tuition barely, so I had to pay my books out of pocket.

[daylilies]

Thank goodness kids are so forgiving. I just went up there to lie down with him for his nap and he fell asleep with one arm around me.

[Bridget]

It was a freaking madhouse at the zoo this morning and then in a lapse of judgement I bought him a pen he wanted, that had a face on it and 'hair' coming out the top so I kind of hoped he wouldn't figure out it was a pen. Well he did and I foolishly let him hold it on the way home and found his brand new jeans scribbled all over when we got home. I kind of overreacted and sent him to his room, I am just so sick of telling him the same thing over and over. I have good intentions and then I just cannot handle it when I feel like I'm wasting my breath. It pisses me off like nothing else. I know he's a child and it's my fault for letting him have the pen in the first place but for heaven's sake, I really thought kids were more impressionable than that, and when a parent says "Dont write on your pants/the couch/the walls" that they'd WANT to make their parents happy, and listen. Silly me.

I just was not prepared for this. It confuses me like nothing else, that all I ever do is try to make the kid happy, and he throws it all in my face. I KNOW he doesn't know he's doing this, but that doesn't make me feel any better.

These are the circumstances when natural consequences come in handy. You can tell him how sad it is that he may have ruined his pants. And how he showed you that he can't use pens safely so now you have to wait until he's older and can show you he will use pens properly. I keep markers in a drawer in the kitchen where Savana and Kai can use whenever they want. One day Kai wrote all over his brand new banjo. I calmly took the marker, put it in the marker tray, and then moved the markers up to where Kai couldn't reach, making sure he saw me. I told him now that he did that, he can't use markers anymore unless I'm sitting right next to him. He threw a major fit. A week later he came to me with a piece of paper and said he was ready to use markers. I put them back and he's never done anything like that again.
I know it can make you want to pull your hair out but the truth is when he had that pen in his hand in the back seat, and nothing to write on, it probably made perfect sense to him to write on his pants.

[missychrissy]

The lender part I'm familiar with.. since I've had student loans before.

I'm just confused about buying books. Do I go to the bookstore and just get the books, or do I pay out of pocket for them? My financial aid covers the amount for books and supplies, so I'm not sure how all that works. When I went to CC I only got one loan that covered my tuition barely, so I had to pay my books out of pocket.

I'm not sure if it all works the same, but when I had my financial aid package, I had money to cover my books. When I went to the bookstore to get them, I used my ID and it worked like a debit/credit card. If there was anything left, I got a refund check. I did borrow for living expenses since I either didn't work, or only worked part time, while I was going to school.

Thank goodness kids are so forgiving. I just went up there to lie down with him for his nap and he fell asleep with one arm around me.

Aww

These are the circumstances when natural consequences come in handy. You can tell him how sad it is that he may have ruined his pants. And how he showed you that he can't use pens safely so now you have to wait until he's older and can show you he will use pens properly. I keep markers in a drawer in the kitchen where Savana and Kai can use whenever they want. One day Kai wrote all over his brand new banjo. I calmly took the marker, put it in the marker tray, and then moved the markers up to where Kai couldn't reach, making sure he saw me. I told him now that he did that, he can't use markers anymore unless I'm sitting right next to him. He threw a major fit. A week later he came to me with a piece of paper and said he was ready to use markers. I put them back and he's never done anything like that again.
I know it can make you want to pull your hair out but the truth is when he had that pen in his hand in the back seat, and nothing to write on, it probably made perfect sense to him to write on his pants.

You are awesome.

[3andMe]

Bridget, that is really great advice about natural consequences.

I am just barely starting to leave my kids unsupervised with crayons. Like, as of this week.

Rubbing alcohol gets ink out, also.

[addysonreese]

I'm not sure if it all works the same, but when I had my financial aid package, I had money to cover my books. When I went to the bookstore to get them, I used my ID and it worked like a debit/credit card. If there was anything left, I got a refund check. I did borrow for living expenses since I either didn't work, or only worked part time, while I was going to school.

That's pretty cool. I'll probably end up asking the Financial Aid office about it this Friday, as I have to go in for my placement testing, and the aid office is in the same building.

[daylilies]

ITA, Bridget. (I think we've read the same books LOL) Sometimes though, I wonder "does this gentle stuff really get through to him? maybe if I get upset instead, it'll make more of an impression on him." And of course it doesn't. Sometimes I'm just too quick to react. So then I asked him to take his pants off and he just looked at me, which made me more upset.
I did put away the markers recently, because he wrote on the couch. It was really not smart of me to buy him a pen.