Secular Confessions

[stash]

I confess I've had just about the world's crappiest day with Oscar (see http://www.americanpregnancy.org/for...post1057298711).

I'm super-hormonal and wondering if a) I'm a crap mom or b) he's an aggressive child or c) both. I know none of them are really true and it's just my hormones but it's bumming me right the frick out.

[MammaMia]

I confess I've had just about the world's crappiest day with Oscar (see http://www.americanpregnancy.org/for...post1057298711).

I'm super-hormonal and wondering if a) I'm a crap mom or b) he's an aggressive child or c) both. I know none of them are really true and it's just my hormones but it's bumming me right the frick out.

Neither!! You're a wonderful mother. I would have done the exact same thing in that position.

[daylilies]

It just sounds like one of those moments a child has no matter how he's been raised. Just this morning we were going to the UU church and Josh threw a fit because his preschool group is not in the same room as the playgroup we go to at the church on Thursdays, and he wanted to be in that room, which unfortunately is the baby room on Sundays. I could not calm him down so we had to leave, kicking and screaming. It sucked.

[3andMe]

I confess I've had just about the world's crappiest day with Oscar

I just read that, and replied, and I'm sorry you're having such a crappy day but I think it might be hormonal, because you're not a crap mom and he's not an aggressive child. It does suck how a child's (or spouse's) bad behavior can ruin an entire day, doesn't it?

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I like the story about the people talking about the Tower of Babel. I wouldn't have even tried to get up and talk to them because I would have wanted to keep listening.

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Oop, dinner's here, gotta go.

[The10Eels]

I confess the warm weather has put me in a shopping mood... Im not sure if its a good thing or not.. I have thoroughly enjoyed buying things for me and the girls without having to ask anyone permission... but I CAN"T stop!!

In the last 24 hours I have bought:
me - 2 scrub tops, a pair of scrub pants, pj pants, a new diaper bag, 2 pairs of work pants, and 3 panties...
charlie - 3 pairs of pj's, 2 skirts, 7 onesies
Audri - a pair of shoes, 3 pairs of shorts, 2 tops, a skirt

[The10Eels]

oh.. and I confess I am amazed at how well Audri is picking up the whole potty thing...

We were in the middle of the store today and she tells me "I needa poop" I thought there was no way in he!l we were going to make it to the bathroom before she pooped in her diaper, but we ran anyways, and we made it!

She's not really recognizing the cues that she needs to pee quite yet, but definitely knows when she needs to poop... We haven't had to change a poopy diaper on her in well over a week. (though apparently the lady in the nursery didn't understand/listen to Audri, because she had to change a poopy one this morning! hahaha)

[shutterbird]

Thanks for the support, everyone. I'm crushed for the 2 boys he's left behind. I talked to my dad and he's pretty broken up over it. They weren't close by any means, but it's still his brother, you know? He couldn't talk to me at first (crying), and then later that day he sounded angry. He lost his dad when he was a teenager, so he knows how hard it is for the boys.

----

Stacy, I'm sorry to hear about your rough day. Hopefully it got better.

Ashley, you deserve to go shopping whenever. Enjoy it!!

[Bridget]

Aw, Stacy that sucks. I know you know your a wonderful mother but I'll tell you anyway. You are a wonderful mother. You did the right thing by taking him out of there. And that doesn't sound like aggression to me. It sounds like a moment where he lacked self control and all children have those moments.
I traveled up to see my older brother and his family this weekend for my nephew's first communion. I had to sit in the "cry room" and the church because Kai has no concept of whispering at all. I witnessed so many stressed out moms in there telling their toddlers to "be quiet" and "stop" over and over and over. I was emotionally sensitive anyway because my mom was having a rough weekend but I couldn't figure out why they were putting themselves and their children through that. I mean, just for the sake of going to church? Neither mom nor child could have been getting anything from the service. Anyway, Kai and I snuck out the back door and went to pick dandilions. Then snuck back in at the end.
During the lunch later my brother's wife's mom kept making comments about how this was just the first of many first communion celebrations and how Savana was next...blah blah blah. I was totally silent. I mean, really? You barely know me and you presume to know that I'm Catholic? Good gravy, woman. I could feel some eyes in the room wondering what I was going to say but it just wasn't the time or place.
My mom is SO out of it. I really got a glimpse of how trying my dad's days with her can be because she forgets everything and often thinks he's wrong. He's so incredibly patient. He never shows any annoyance, he always knows where her purse is, when it's time to take her medicine, when they need to leave the party so she can lay down...he's just amazing. But I can see he needs help so I have to figure out how to get him to let me help. I'm so sad that my mom is different. It's like we've already lost a part of her.

[missychrissy]

((hugs)) Kim.

And Stacy, you're a wonderful mother to a wonderful boy. We all have bad days...weeks...perhaps months. You know what to do-stay consistent and everything will work out.

I confess we had a bad weekend here as well. It was my daughter's 17th birthday and we had a celebration of sorts on Sunday. One of her friends was being a little bit of a snot/bully to Sydney (11) and Conner (3). I tried to be patient. I gave her the benefit of the doubt-that she was just playing and I didn't know her well enough to say for sure she was being mean...but then I saw her push Conner off my couch and onto the floor. NOT cool. I spoke up. I don't think I was rude or mean, but I was very clear that if she couldn't be nice to all the kids, I would take her home.

There's more to the story, but the end result is Jessica and Bobbie hate me right now. I feel I was right, but it's still not fun.

[missychrissy]

Bridget. I do think about you and your family each and every day. I wish I could do something.

[rhiannasmoms43]

I would be more disappointed with Jessica and Bobby thinking it was alright for ANYONE to bully their little brother. He is their BROTHER for pity sake!!!

[missychrissy]

Yeah, we discussed that. Their opinion is that I overreacted and she wasn't being mean. It boils down to a difference of opinion over what happened. They saw the same thing, as did my parents, mil, and stepmother. The kids see it as horseplay, the adults saw it as bullying. If the girls really thought their friend was being mean, I know they'd stand up for their brother. I think in this instance they have experienced a little lapse in judgment.

[Bridget]

Yeah, we discussed that. Their opinion is that I overreacted and she wasn't being mean. It boils down to a difference of opinion over what happened. They saw the same thing, as did my parents, mil, and stepmother. The kids see it as horseplay, the adults saw it as bullying. If the girls really thought their friend was being mean, I know they'd stand up for their brother. I think in this instance they have experienced a little lapse in judgment.

Maybe she was just playing. But Connor is too young to be involved in that sort of play with a much older child who in not a relative. So even if she meant no harm, it needed to made clear that it was not cool.

[rhiannasmoms43]

I confess that only now- when Gage is 3.5 years old. have I buckled down and he is in underwear all day.
Rhianna was PT'd by 1 year, but I was getting all this 'good' advice from people with boys (boys are so hard to pt; mine was in diapers until he was 4; good luck hahaha) and didn't even bother to seriously try to train him until Friday when he had such bad diarrhea/sore bum that I needed him to be clean and aired out all the time.
May I say that he hasn't had 1 accident, aside from not holding back one poop all weekend? He even woke me up in the middle of the night to pee when he had a diaper on for bedtime......but the downside is I am feeling like a very neglectful and lazy parent for letting him go so long in diapers when he was obviously capable and ready to be PTd for a while now

[daylilies]

Don't worry about it Julie! Think of how much frustration you saved by waiting until he was really ready. I was tearing my hair out when we tried too early, I waited about a month and tried again and it went much better.
BTW I bet he could make it through the night in underwear--just don't give him anything to drink a couple hours before bedtime ;)

[missychrissy]

Aw Julie, don't beat yourself up. He's ready and doing well, that's all that matters. I doubt he'll suffer any long-term ill effects from waiting.

Conner still won't poop on the potty. He likes to do that in private anyway, but he's afraid to sit on the big toilet alone. I've offered to put a donut seat on (and demonstrated) as well as suggested he use his little potty and he can take it to whatever corner of the house he's comfortable with, but he's having none of that.

We're simply being patient. He'll get it when he's ready.

[missychrissy]

Maybe she was just playing. But Connor is too young to be involved in that sort of play with a much older child who in not a relative. So even if she meant no harm, it needed to made clear that it was not cool.

She had also wrestled Sydney to the floor & kicked her. I didn't learn about that till later, although I did see her be snippy and rude to Sydney. I just cannot believe she was being playful.

Lydia-I love your siggy pic.

[Cosmosmom]

Kim I'm so sorry for your loss.

[stephmama]

[Cosmosmom]

So we an interesting weekend.

First thing on Sunday, DH goes to drive us home (we had stopped in my office to pick something up) and doesn't have his car key. Ok so last place he had it was that morning and he drove home so I figured it was at home. But of course he freaks and stresses about it until we go home and here it is in his box where he keeps his wallet and keys. When he brought it in for an oil change the week before, he never detached the cheap wire ring they use.

Ok so turned out fine. Go appliance shopping. I had picked out everything online. I TOLD him what it would cost pre discounts. We got a frig, stove, dishwasher, microwave/hood, washer, dryer and pedastals for those. Everything stainless steel except laundry stuff is white.
Ended up with all the discounts of being almost 1k cheaper than I told him. He still freaked about the cost.

Get home and check the mail, car insurance bill is there. It's DOUBLE our last one because the company changed hands. Not like we had a bunch of accidents. So that is stressing him out (though we called this morning to our agent and she said that everyone who had that company is getting this and basically they are switching everyone....but still annoying to think about all weekend).

So than Saturday night I decided it would be nice to have some brandy and diet 7up and DH wanted Mikes...we didn't have any and it was dark so I said if he drove, I would run in and pick them up. Basically we were both in sweat/pj's/yoga pants. I thought it would be fun to bring Cosmo but my car didnt' have the sheet in the back in place....oh but the PT Cruiser did said DH. Get to the store, I'm in there there pretty quick since I'm literally getting 3 things. Come out and the car won't start. I had to go back in the store because I had just switched purses and didn't have my AAA card. Thankfully AAA was able to put us up in the computer. Took about 30 minutes for the guy to come out and jump us.
This has been a problem for us all year. We have had to have them jump us like 4 times in 3 months. Battery is about 2 years old so we brought it in the place we got it from last time, they said battery was fine, it was the alternator. Fine, got that fixed for $500 (higher labor because they are a hard spot in PT Cruisers)....that was ONE month ago.
Brought it in this morning and sure enough it's bad again so that is getting replaced for free since it's under warranty. But supposedly now some cord is bad and giving too much resistance so that has to be replaced for $150.

We are so fed up with that place and won't be using it again but because we went there and things are under warranty, we have to keep going there until this issue is resolved.

[addysonreese]

Hey girls..

I could just cry right now.

I really doubt I'm going to get in-state tuition at all. I got an e-mail back from the residency office and they asked if I was receiving unemployment and I could get in-state that way.

I haven't been receiving unemployment because I didn't know about applying, or even that it was an option. I also had more faith that I'd have a job right now. So my own stupidity is preventing me from getting in-state tuition. I really do not believe I am going to get financial aid for 28,000 dollars a year, at least for this first year. Next year, I know I'd be considered in-state.

I'm just not sure I can handle being rejected for enough financial aid, and have to not go back to school. I really can't see it going any other way..

[missychrissy]

Oh no! There really must be some other way to prove your residency. Ugh-this is frustrating. Don't give up.

[addysonreese]

I confess I've had just about the world's crappiest day with Oscar (see http://www.americanpregnancy.org/for...post1057298711).

I'm super-hormonal and wondering if a) I'm a crap mom or b) he's an aggressive child or c) both. I know none of them are really true and it's just my hormones but it's bumming me right the frick out.

You are definitely a wonderful mother. I agree with everyone else - it really sounds like he just lacked a little self control and you had to take him away from the situation.

During the lunch later my brother's wife's mom kept making comments about how this was just the first of many first communion celebrations and how Savana was next...blah blah blah. I was totally silent. I mean, really? You barely know me and you presume to know that I'm Catholic? Good gravy, woman. I could feel some eyes in the room wondering what I was going to say but it just wasn't the time or place.
My mom is SO out of it. I really got a glimpse of how trying my dad's days with her can be because she forgets everything and often thinks he's wrong. He's so incredibly patient. He never shows any annoyance, he always knows where her purse is, when it's time to take her medicine, when they need to leave the party so she can lay down...he's just amazing. But I can see he needs help so I have to figure out how to get him to let me help. I'm so sad that my mom is different. It's like we've already lost a part of her.

I'm so sorry about what's going on with your mom.
And wtf at the comment your SIL's mom made. I love how people assume things.

I confess we had a bad weekend here as well. It was my daughter's 17th birthday and we had a celebration of sorts on Sunday. One of her friends was being a little bit of a snot/bully to Sydney (11) and Conner (3). I tried to be patient. I gave her the benefit of the doubt-that she was just playing and I didn't know her well enough to say for sure she was being mean...but then I saw her push Conner off my couch and onto the floor. NOT cool. I spoke up. I don't think I was rude or mean, but I was very clear that if she couldn't be nice to all the kids, I would take her home.

There's more to the story, but the end result is Jessica and Bobbie hate me right now. I feel I was right, but it's still not fun.

I really can't see that as "playing". She's not a member of your family, and therefore should not be so rough, especially with a 3-year old. I could see it, MAYBE, if she has been friends with your daughters for years and knows everyone well and all that, but that's just unacceptable and rude.

I see you!

So we an interesting weekend.

First thing on Sunday, DH goes to drive us home (we had stopped in my office to pick something up) and doesn't have his car key. Ok so last place he had it was that morning and he drove home so I figured it was at home. But of course he freaks and stresses about it until we go home and here it is in his box where he keeps his wallet and keys. When he brought it in for an oil change the week before, he never detached the cheap wire ring they use.

Ok so turned out fine. Go appliance shopping. I had picked out everything online. I TOLD him what it would cost pre discounts. We got a frig, stove, dishwasher, microwave/hood, washer, dryer and pedastals for those. Everything stainless steel except laundry stuff is white.
Ended up with all the discounts of being almost 1k cheaper than I told him. He still freaked about the cost.

Get home and check the mail, car insurance bill is there. It's DOUBLE our last one because the company changed hands. Not like we had a bunch of accidents. So that is stressing him out (though we called this morning to our agent and she said that everyone who had that company is getting this and basically they are switching everyone....but still annoying to think about all weekend).

So than Saturday night I decided it would be nice to have some brandy and diet 7up and DH wanted Mikes...we didn't have any and it was dark so I said if he drove, I would run in and pick them up. Basically we were both in sweat/pj's/yoga pants. I thought it would be fun to bring Cosmo but my car didnt' have the sheet in the back in place....oh but the PT Cruiser did said DH. Get to the store, I'm in there there pretty quick since I'm literally getting 3 things. Come out and the car won't start. I had to go back in the store because I had just switched purses and didn't have my AAA card. Thankfully AAA was able to put us up in the computer. Took about 30 minutes for the guy to come out and jump us.
This has been a problem for us all year. We have had to have them jump us like 4 times in 3 months. Battery is about 2 years old so we brought it in the place we got it from last time, they said battery was fine, it was the alternator. Fine, got that fixed for $500 (higher labor because they are a hard spot in PT Cruisers)....that was ONE month ago.
Brought it in this morning and sure enough it's bad again so that is getting replaced for free since it's under warranty. But supposedly now some cord is bad and giving too much resistance so that has to be replaced for $150.

We are so fed up with that place and won't be using it again but because we went there and things are under warranty, we have to keep going there until this issue is resolved.

Wow. That is an interesting weekend. Sorry about what's going on with the car. So frustrating.

This place you keep going to is where you bought the car, or just where you go for repairs?

[addysonreese]

Oh no! There really must be some other way to prove your residency. Ugh-this is frustrating. Don't give up.

I really don't think there is. I've done research through the site, and all there is is being employed in Texas for 12 months, and stupid crap like that.

A friend of mine said I should try to speak to a selectman about getting help through the state, but I have no clue how to go about that and even if it would work. I mean, the school didn't even do application interviews. How am I going to get help in a situation like this, KWIM?

[Cosmosmom]

Hey girls..

I could just cry right now.

I really doubt I'm going to get in-state tuition at all. I got an e-mail back from the residency office and they asked if I was receiving unemployment and I could get in-state that way.

I haven't been receiving unemployment because I didn't know about applying, or even that it was an option. I also had more faith that I'd have a job right now. So my own stupidity is preventing me from getting in-state tuition. I really do not believe I am going to get financial aid for 28,000 dollars a year, at least for this first year. Next year, I know I'd be considered in-state.

I'm just not sure I can handle being rejected for enough financial aid, and have to not go back to school. I really can't see it going any other way..

Lauren, so if you have to, you just wait a year. In the long run, it's not that big a deal. What you could do is apply at a community college and take courses that will transfer....I'm not sure if they charge in and out of state or not.

Maybe you could try now to apply for unemployment?

Do NOT waste your time paying 28K....that is too much and you will not get enough loans. Do NOT take private student loans. You are better off financially waiting just one year and saving that much more money.

My sister had to put off school for almost a year because of something similar dealing with student loans...turned out just fine and gave her 9 more months to prepare.

[Cosmosmom]

Wow. That is an interesting weekend. Sorry about what's going on with the car. So frustrating.

This place you keep going to is where you bought the car, or just where you go for repairs?

No that car we got in 2002 so long before we moved up here. DH LOVES his car. We are just really frustrated with that shop right now. Once this issue is resolved, we won't be going back there and just go the dealer where we got my car and have had good service (I had a tire with a nail in it and get oil changes there).

[missychrissy]

I really don't think there is. I've done research through the site, and all there is is being employed in Texas for 12 months, and stupid crap like that.

A friend of mine said I should try to speak to a selectman about getting help through the state, but I have no clue how to go about that and even if it would work. I mean, the school didn't even do application interviews. How am I going to get help in a situation like this, KWIM?

It's worth a call or 5, just to see if you get anywhere. I rarely take the first 'no' as an answer and really encourage you to keep calling them.

Lauren, so if you have to, you just wait a year.

or even 1 semester? It sounds like you were pretty close to the 1 year cut off anyway. Don't give up!!

[Cosmosmom]

or even 1 semester? It sounds like you were pretty close to the 1 year cut off anyway. Don't give up!!

Oh that is true. You can always start just ONE semester later. So instead of the fall, maybe the winter or spring one would work ok.

[missychrissy]

I know it would be beyond disappointing to have to wait. I strongly urge you to make some calls!!

[Bridget]

I confess something stupid is bugging me. Savana is still doing awesome in Canada with dbf and his family. I'm so super proud of her. And of him. It sounds like when I talk to him on the phone that he is genuinely seeing how wonderful she is. Here's two things that are bothering me. First, he keeps making comments about how well she listens to him when I'm not around. Just the way he says it insinuates that it's somehow my fault that she doesn't listen to him normally. Which is BS and I've told him before, when he laments on how she won't listen, that he needs to spend more time with her. And when he makes that effort, the difference in her attitude toward him is staggering. Duh. He needs to earn her trust and respect. It's something he's in charge of. Not me.
Second thing. She has yet to come to the phone to talk to me and that is fine. She's not a big phone talker and I'm just feeling so relieved that she feels safe and happy. I couldn't hope for anything more on her special trip. But every time he asks in front of the adults in his family and she says, "no thank you", everyone starts to laugh. WTF? Joke's on me? I don't get it. And I don't like it.
Oh, and I MISS HER. I just can't wait to have her home and in my arms again tomorrow night.