My dh's traveling is work-related. And he asked me if it was okay, and it is not set in stone. I told him he risked not being here for the birth, but that I support his career and everything it takes to advance it. I'm very grateful that his work lets me be at home part-time with the children, and I know that being there or not when the baby is born is just one day out of all of the others he'll have with him.
It's not necessary, and I don't even know if it will happen for sure, but it would be beneficial for his career.
ETA: I think I'm going to have to train Claire to put my socks and shoes on for me, since it's already getting pretty difficult and I can't count on dh to help.
Last edited by 3andMe; 03-15-2010 at 06:19 PM.
Wow, I missed a lot this weekend.
Lydia, you have a great attitude but I hope for both your sakes that your DH is home for the birth.
Lauren, about the transfer classes I jumped around too. Started at a University, then took time off, then took community college classes, then transferred back to another university. The CC didn't offer any of the classes I needed for my major but I took most of my gen eds there. When I transferred in I only needed the 30 credit hours of my major classes and 18 hours for my minor plus one gen ed science class. I got through in 2 years after transferring although I did take some classes out of sequence. It could have been 1 1/2 years but my major required me to pick one of 3 possible minors so I couldn't use my classes from my previous major towards a new minor. It was a lot cheaper to take the classes at community college and be done with it, so if you do end up needing another semester there it should be okay.
Oh, and I needed to argue my case for transferring some courses, too. I had tested out of English 101 at my first school and then my last school wanted to make me take it. I had to submit a portfolio of my writing for them to review but in the end they didn't make me go back and take it after all.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
And, again, I'm here to be the one to say the things that no one else has the balls to (why my friends love me, and why I have only a few good friends ) but the big what if is, what if something unexpected happened and he weren't there? How would he, or you, feel then?
All love, you know that...
My poor parents were just like pick something and be done with it. I had to pay the max federal loans and than they kicked in whatever that and scholarships didn't cover.
I'm surprised it only took 5 years.
Lydia. I really hope he can be there for the birth. A babe is only born once...
A lot of 'kids' take classes at one college while trying to get accepted an another. I work at Cornell and see many students not make the cut semester after semester. They take classes at other colleges and keep trying. They have it all figured out-which classes they can take that will transfer. I've ever heard of them taking biology and chemistry at another college because it's easier there, and transferring those classes to Cornell, even if they were accepted at Cornell on their first try.
I really feel lucky I had that chance to work there and hear that theme over and over again-and from men who didn't necessarily know each other. They came from different backgrounds and varying religious beliefs...but the desire to be home with their children more was unanimous.
While that is all probably true...life is full of sacrifice. I would myself love to be home more and see family more often (they all are about 5 hour drive away). But reality is that we need to work so we can have things like health insurance, a home, food...
I remember my dad couldn't always make it to my orchestra concerts...mom always went but dad at times worked 2nd shift and couldn't always take off work. We just ended up doing stuff together at other times when he could. I'm glad that I had food and a house and health insurance as a kid.
And yeah a baby is only born once...I would say that it's more important to be there later for things the child can remember.
I most likely will end up adopting at some point and right now thinking of doing it from foster care. I won't be there when my child is born...but that won't affect love.
I had considered something bad happening, and that was definitely the worst-case scenario. If it was a baby catastrophe, I would have a really hard time with him not being there and so would he. And if something happened to me, well, I can't really picture him recovering from that anyway, let alone dealing with the guilt of not being there. I try not to live my life thinking about the worst things that could happen, but you and I both know they can. And I would have talked about both of those possibilities with him before he made the commitment to go.
On the bright side, he came home tonight and told me the Europe trip has been rescheduled for July and he just has to go to the East Coast for a week instead, an entire month before I'm due. I think that's much better. I guess I jumped the gun on posting, but it was on my mind.
And yes, I know people regret spending time with their children and not their jobs, but on the other hand, his job makes it possible for him to be home every night for dinner and playing with the kids and on weekends and an occasional telecommute day when we can go out to lunch and a park together as a family. He also really likes to travel and we don't do enough of it any more, so it was actually a perk of the job.
Last edited by 3andMe; 03-15-2010 at 09:28 PM.
Lydia, I'm glad he's not going. I envy the relationship you two have. It sounds entirely built on mutual respect. Such the opposite of what's going on in my house.
My mom was able to go home today! I went over there with the kids after daycare. There are still so many unknowns, and just as many painkillers...but tonight was a good night. We were all laughing and telling and stories, going through some old albums. Of course Savana and Kai kept us entertained.
It really does well to just be in the moment sometimes, and not think about the fact that we are slowly losing her.
I confess holy headache hell! My period must be around the corner.
there are 9000 posts in this thread!
I just got back from my job interview. It went well and they seemed to really like me, but I had to speak some English and I know that will count against me. The job requires a lot of communication with parents, and I'm not sure I'm even capable of doing that in Icelandic.
They also said they had over 60 applicants for the job. Unemployment really is high at the moment!
Sarah! I hope you get the job!!!
1) Bridget, that is so excellent. I'm glad you had good time with your mom.
2) PHEW, Lydia, I'm glad it works out that there's no conflict. It does suck to make decisions like that, particularly when there are so many variables.
3) I have to comment to Cosmosmom (below), and again, I'm going to get some and some "aren't you an entitled idealist" looks (I can't find an emoticon for that one!) but life is only full of sacrifices because we create them. If you would love to be home to see your family more often, do it. There is nothing between you and creating the life you want except yourself and your preconceived notions of what your life is supposed to be, as prescribed by society. I know this acutely, because I went from working 80oddass hours a week for 18 years to "grow" my career (which I did quite well) and feeling like I could never get out of the workaholic bind I was in (because I wouldn't be able to afford food, health insurance, you name it) to jumping ship to create my own consulting company, all because Jasper's death said to me "you are going about this all backwards and you're going to regret this life when you're done with it unless you change things NOW." It's been wicked hard in a lot of ways. I've lost a lot of money, I've made a lot of money, I've had to learn to be okay with uncertainty and all flavors of ups and downs, but in the end - every single second has been worth it because both my husband and I have been able to be together, and with Oscar. And now with this new person.
Here's a nice little kick in the pants that I stumbled across the other day (I TED.com) - the guy's a little obnoxious (probably why I like him) and granted, he's saying some things I don't believe in, like work your ass off and spend only a little time with your family, but his general point applies across the board. http://www.ted.com/talks/gary_vayner...o_excuses.html