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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #7681
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Ooh good luck!
    I'd like to hear what messages you were reading into at Avatar.
    Thanks. I figure chances are really slight and Dh looked like he might pass out at the possibility. He was fine with adopting before doing the house but than I decided to get the house first and see what happens and maybe in a few years if no baby, think about foster care to adoption. DH is the kind of person who really needs to think about things before doing them and he needs a lot of time to warm up to ideas and he is just starting to freak out less about the house. I'm such a mean wife, always pushing him to do scary things like get married, get a house, try to have a baby..... LOL

    As for Avatar, I thought the messages were so obvious. The whole thing about going into other peoples worlds (or in our case countries) and taking what we want by force if necessary (Iraq and oil currently, before that all the colonialism that the west did in various places). And the idea of taking care of the environment.
    I really thought that those were so obvious...and than come to find out that his mom and uncle thought I was reading way too much into it and it was just a beautiful movie and for entertainment.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  2. #7682

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    I kind of got those parallels too...DH thought it was like the Na'vi were the Native Americans and the people were the white men...I think the movie did seem to have an agenda and basically made me feel like crap about the human race in general. I also thought the plot was weak and obvious and that it was basically a show off of CGI effects.
    Sooo...yeah.

  3. #7683
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    I confess that my job has already extended me the offer to return next school year! I do love my job and I think they realize that I am very valuable to the school and they better renew my contract ASAP before other library jobs start being posted. Yippie! I hate the job search, so this is good news.





  4. #7684

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    Yay Jenny! Congrats.

  5. #7685
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    That's great news, Jenny! Congratulations!

    I forgot how nice it is to do crafts with Lorelai. I started our v-day crafts today and she had so much fun. It was a workout trying to keep up with her, though. She likes to fling paint.

  6. #7686

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    Awesome news Jenny!
    Norah! (3 yr)

  7. #7687

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    Great news, Jenny!
    I confess that I think dbf is one of those people who lies all the time without even thinking about it.
    About 20 minutes ago my phone rang and when I answered I could just hear him talking to his friend so his phone must have dialed while it was in his pocket. I hear him say, "I'm starving. Let's go to The Bell. I really want a hamburger." The Bell is a little tavern in our town. So I think to myself, "Let me just try something here."
    I hang up and call back a few minutes later. I say, "Hey, where are you at?" He answers, "Oh, I'm at Brad's, seeing if he can do the work on my truck."
    "Ok. did you have lunch yet?" I ask. He says, "No, not yet. I'm trying to eat healthy and there's no good places to go."
    I start to laugh and say, "So your not at The Bell"
    He says, "Oh. I'm at The Bell, on my way to Brads."
    So you aren't having a burger at The Bell? Wait, please don't answer. I'm getting embarrassed for you. You accidentally called me and I quote, "Let's go to The Bell. I'm starving. I want a hamburger."
    Why does he lie about EVERYTHING? What can I do about this? It drives me batty. How can I ever really even know him if he's always faking it?

  8. #7688

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    Is he a compulsive liar maybe? I think DH does it too. It makes me think I'm going batty when I swear he just said one thing but he's doing something different.

  9. #7689

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I kind of got those parallels too...DH thought it was like the Na'vi were the Native Americans and the people were the white men...I think the movie did seem to have an agenda and basically made me feel like crap about the human race in general. I also thought the plot was weak and obvious and that it was basically a show off of CGI effects.
    Sooo...yeah.
    I loved that movie, but to think about it, it's a high tech remake of Dances with Wolves (with a sci-fi twist). Soldier encounters native culture, falls in love with girl, defects to native side while the rest of his culture is trying to rape it. I still love the movie and Tred and I are trying to figure the when/where to see it in 3D.

    And yes, it was to show of CGI effects, but oh those were some fantastic effects. We actually watched a making of special on it yesterday that I stumbled onto on TV. Really REALLY cool. They used a technique not used before in the making of CGE, with all sorts of new processes and technologies.
    Krista & Jonathan: Liam, our one and only, born 9 Sep 2008



  10. #7690

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    The thing is, the only reason that I'd ever give him a hard time for going and having lunch at a tavern would be when HE wants to give me a hard time at our once a week out to dinner when I want to have a drink because he says it racks up our bill. That's when i bring up his little spending here and there when he's not with me that he thinks I don't know about.
    It just makes me know he's lied about SO MUCH more than I will ever know.

  11. #7691

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    I had a boyfriend like that for a while. He was very... alive and I loved him, but I couldn't live like that forever. He would lie about small things and big things. Sometimes to get out of trouble (or try) but mostly just because that is what he did, or to see if he could get away with it.
    Norah! (3 yr)

  12. #7692

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    I feel like I'm just twiddling my thumbs until I catch him in the next big one.

  13. #7693
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    I confess that my job has already extended me the offer to return next school year! I do love my job and I think they realize that I am very valuable to the school and they better renew my contract ASAP before other library jobs start being posted. Yippie! I hate the job search, so this is good news.
    Congrats!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  14. #7694

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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    I feel like I'm just twiddling my thumbs until I catch him in the next big one.
    Oh, hon. I'm sorry. That is a terrible feeling.
    Norah! (3 yr)

  15. #7695
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    Congratulations, Jenny!

    How exciting, Cosmosmom! I know that a potential baby on top of a new house is a little overwhelming, but it sounds like you know how to support your dh through these upheavals.

    And Bridget, I can't imagine how much that would erode my trust, to find out these little lies here and there, interspersed between the bigger ones. Oh yeah, I remember--my ex-fiance did that, and after I broke up with him (I found out he'd been lying about his financial situation--it wasn't so much that he was broke, just that he was encouraging me to buy a house and plan our future and gave me a lot of bs about how much he'd be able to contribute) I found out the biggest lie of them all. I found out he'd once gotten caught molesting his much younger sister, and that a few people knew about it and were worried about me having children with him. I am so pleased I narrowly escaped, and even if it's unconscious, I have a hard time trusting anyone who lies.

    And of course Avatar had a message. It was a beat-you-over-the-head with it message, but it is interesting that a lot of different groups are reading a lot into it. China is restricting showings because it is thought to represent the displacement of small property by developers without adequate compensation, and it is a huge source of anger and bitterness. I've read that Christians don't like the anti-Christian message, and same with the military. Hindus are worried about the message: Acclaimed Hindu and Indo-American statesman Rajan Zed, in a statement in Nevada (USA) today, said that “avatar” was one of the central themes of Hinduism and insensitive handling of faith traditions sometimes results in pillaging serious spiritual doctrines and revered symbols and hurting the devotees. And here's a post about the antitransgender agenda that is so blatant in the movie:

    Why stop the Avatar movie?

    In short, Avatar has hetrosexual themes, that's why. Not that hetrosexual themes are anything new in American films but when you consider the context in which the Avatar story is set, the message of this film is highly irresponsible.

    Here's a summary of what is wrong with the Avatar film:

    1) Avatar assumes that the hetrosexual, "male" and "female" attraction will still be the primary relationship basis in the future.

    2) Avatar ignores the fact of Evolution. Humans are evolving to be being Transgender, NOT hetrosexual.

    3) Avatar also assumes that intelligent beings on other worlds would be hetrosexual.

    In addition, the film uses militaristic themes and promotes violence as a means of story-telling and social context.
    Anyway, I think it's funny that so many different groups are offended by this movie because they see messages that so directly impact them.


  16. #7696

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    Wow Lydia. I'm glad you found that out about your fiance! That's something I'd hope someone who knew about it would tell me right away..just kind of take me aside and say "look... I think you should know this..."

    And that heterosexual argument made no sense to me....

  17. #7697

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    OMG, Lydia. That is horrible! What a blow that must have been.
    He just left me message saying that he was going to get a burger at the bar but changed him mind when he got there because he knows how bad they are for him. And that he wishes I wouldn't try to make him feel bad about stupid stuff because it's really not fair.
    He.Is.Delusional.

  18. #7698

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    Oh for chrissakes. I really want to smack your DBF upside the head sometimes. Obviously, the dude ate a burger. And somehow can't see that eating the burger is not the problem?
    Norah! (3 yr)

  19. #7699
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lydia View Post

    And of course Avatar had a message. It was a beat-you-over-the-head with it message, but it is interesting that a lot of different groups are reading a lot into it. China is restricting showings because it is thought to represent the displacement of small property by developers without adequate compensation, and it is a huge source of anger and bitterness. I've read that Christians don't like the anti-Christian message, and same with the military. Hindus are worried about the message: Acclaimed Hindu and Indo-American statesman Rajan Zed, in a statement in Nevada (USA) today, said that “avatar” was one of the central themes of Hinduism and insensitive handling of faith traditions sometimes results in pillaging serious spiritual doctrines and revered symbols and hurting the devotees. And here's a post about the antitransgender agenda that is so blatant in the movie:



    Anyway, I think it's funny that so many different groups are offended by this movie because they see messages that so directly impact them.

    OMG, I totally didn't even see most of those! I think that it is definitely where your own personal bias lies....with me being very anti Iraq war (because I feel that we were there basically for oil) and being very concerned about the environment (I was crying so hard for the tree thing)...that is what I saw.
    My MIL and her brother were just like, you are reading too much into it. It's a story for entertainment and to be visually stunning. LOL

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  20. #7700

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    Wow Lydia, I'm glad you escaped!!!

    Avatar . . . heterosexual argument? Oh please. I can't believe that.
    Krista & Jonathan: Liam, our one and only, born 9 Sep 2008



  21. #7701

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    Quote Originally Posted by maggie View Post
    Oh for chrissakes. I really want to smack your DBF upside the head sometimes. Obviously, the dude ate a burger. And somehow can't see that eating the burger is not the problem?
    BINGO!
    The ridiculousness of the whole thing is so pathetically tragic. I don't know if I can muster up the will to even discuss it with him any further but I do want this sh!t to stop.
    How did I end up with this person? Seriously? I ask myself that quite often.

  22. #7702

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    You know, I really think guys can't see the big picture. We see the guy lying about eating a burger and we think, how can he lie to me, how can I trust him, how can he be so stupid? And he thinks, dude. I ate a burger. Get over it.

  23. #7703

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    I confess it is really windy out here and DH just IMed me from the road and said this
    I want to buy a kite. Tie it to my truck and let it go. See what happens
    I had to double check that it was from him. He hardly ever says silly stuff like that. I like it.

  24. #7704
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    Bridget, I'm so sorry. DH used to drink way too much and it got to the point that I couldn't believe a word he said to me ... it was just like you'd describe. He'd tell me he was going to lunch with a friend and leave at 11:00. I'd call at 3:30 and ask when he was coming home and he'd tell me they hadn't ordered yet. The reality was he never even met up with his friend. When he quit, that stuff stopped immediately but it took me a long time to trust him again. I haven't caught him lying about anything and have no reason to believe it's still going on but I still worry about it. I could handle the drinking ... it was the lying about it I had a problem with. For me that's the worst thing you can put a relationship through.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  25. #7705
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    Okay, someone explain something to me. At my job they ask us to do these time studies to check what percentage of our time is spent doing "billable" work (that the district can be reimbursed for). Although I'm not an hourly employee, school is in session from 8:50 to 3:10. I'm generally there until after 4:00 at least, but we are free to leave after 3:30. I got a time study email letting me know that my "random moment" was 3:31. WHY are they checking up on my activities after contract hours? I emailed the coordinator back and she said she'd be "happy to explain it further" if I "couldn't understand it." I understand it ... it's just dumb, isn't it? Obviously I'm not delivering therapy 21 minutes after school is dismissed...
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  26. #7706
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    Whoa ... just posted this 5 times! How did that happen?
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  27. #7707

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    I'd have her explain it further. Is she snarky like that in general? Yeesh.

  28. #7708
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    I don't understand it, Mandy. What on earth does "Random moment" mean? Is that when you're supposed to stop working because you can't bill any longer? And yes, I'd have her explain it further since "you couldn't understand it" (I'm picturing her making air quotes with her fingers). And I wouldn't argue about it, just say that you didn't understand it since the study was talking about your time after hours. If that is actually the case.

    Of course, look who's talking here. I probably shouldn't give advice right now, after the mess I got into by speaking up at work.


  29. #7709

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    I don't understand what a "random moment" is either.

    Tred keeps having to do these time studies and they are driving him nuts. I will be glad when Bipolar Cathy is no longer his supervisor. It can't come too soon.
    Krista & Jonathan: Liam, our one and only, born 9 Sep 2008



  30. #7710
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    Bridget & Kate - lying about ridiculous things can be a form of emotional abuse known as "crazy making". The idea is that they do it to make you start questioning your own perceptions and feelings. For example, they'll do something, then deny it so emphatically that you'll start to think that you're the crazy one. They're often not even aware that they're doing this - they just do it automatically.

    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    He just left me message saying that he was going to get a burger at the bar but changed him mind when he got there because he knows how bad they are for him. And that he wishes I wouldn't try to make him feel bad about stupid stuff because it's really not fair.
    He.Is.Delusional.
    He's not delusional, he's a manipulative jerk. He got caught in a lie then tried to backpedal and guilt trip you for calling him on it. It's so transparent it's almost funny. I'm glad you're able to see through his bs!


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