Secular Confessions

[3andMe]

Ashley, congratulations on your job interview, and good luck!

Kate, I don't know what to say about you not taking your meds because you don't like the blood draws and don't want to give up the glass of wine. I have to admit, dh started a new med that doesn't allow drinking, and he waited until after all the family visits were over because he really wanted to be able to self-medicate like that. I totally understand that. But I have been depressed in my life, and although it was hard to get motivated when I was there, I would have done anything to try to feel better because I was so miserable.

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Potty training has been a success! DH and I keep beaming at each other and talking about how brilliant and adorable our children are. There was only one accident yesterday, and it was probably deliberate. Claire always hides when she poos, and even though we put her potty chair in "Pooh Corner" she still wouldn't go while she was sitting on it. But everything else was magnificent. We even rewarded them by taking them to a farm in the afternoon, and the whole two hours we were gone they didn't have any accidents. We did offer them potty time in the car--we weren't torturing them. Ro has left whatever he's playing with to sprint to the potty and pull his pants down, so it's not just that I'm catching them at the right time. They are getting the signals that it's time, and acting on them. I'm so happy. Even in the past four days, I can't imagine how much $ we've saved on diapers. And it's so nice to think about a couple of months without any diapers before the baby comes along.

[AmeriBrit]

That's brilliant, Lydia! Did you follow any resources to PT or did you just go with it?

[3andMe]

That's brilliant, Lydia! Did you follow any resources to PT or did you just go with it?

I have a link to the instructions in my first potty training blog entry, back when they were 21 months old. We didn't follow it exactly this time, and I used a timer to try to remind me to put Ro on the potty every 15 minutes, because he pees a lot.

[Aelith]

I confess -- I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW ON MONDAY!!! Its for an office assistant at the Humane Society!

Congrats and good luck - what a great sounding job!

[Bridget]

Lydia! That is so awesome. I'm jealous. I wish Kai would potty train. He is such a smart guy. I know he could do it but he's goes in and out of being interested and I go in and out of trying to push it. I'm just so ready to be done with diapers. I'm not one of those cloth diapering moms who loves it. I wouldn't do it any other way but oh, how I long for the days when I'm not washing diapers anymore!

[daylilies]

Congrats Lydia on the PTing and good luck atenielle on the interview.
Lydia, I know nobody could really understand what I'm feeling. Heck I don't understand it. I sat and sat that day when I could have gone to look for a job, or hobbies, or even gone out anywhere. I sat in my PJ's until 3 p.m. wanting to do something but not knowing where to start. I can't even begin to explain it.

[WillowSpy]

Lydia, congrats on the potty training success! And Ashley, congrats on the interview, and good luck! Blow em away with your charm!

As for meds and drinking Kate... from personal experience I know that there are a few that will not do anything terrible when coupled with a glass of wine here or there, but to be honest (as someone who had psych issues and self medicated with both alcohol and other drugs before getting help) once your meds kick in, you really won't need the alcohol.

[Kitty]

I confess...

2 cm dilated today!! Just have to "hold that baby in" (as DH puts it) until MIL gets here on Thursday. Sooooo ready to be done with the belly.

[rhiannasmoms43]

Kitty Git er done!!!! How exciting!
Lydia, your PTing sounds like a dream come true. Did either of your kids resist the idea...like REALLY resist the idea?

Kate, I get like that everytime I am confined to the house for more than 3 days. I actually get panicky at the thought of going anywhere on my own or even getting in the car to drive anywhere.
This is why I could never be a stay-at-home mom.
You NEED to get a job, part time or otherwise, just to get yourself dressed and out of the house on a regular basis.

Once again, good luck Ashley!

[The10Eels]

I just got home from my interview. It went GREAT, and she told me she will let me know by Wednesday. She also said "she got a good vibe from me" and also she's looking for "That face the community will see" I was smiling as she said this, and then she said "That smiling face"

I hope thats a good sign! but I was her first interview so we will see!

[Janeen]

I just got home from my interview. It went GREAT, and she told me she will let me know by Wednesday. She also said "she got a good vibe from me" and also she's looking for "That face the community will see" I was smiling as she said this, and then she said "That smiling face"

I hope thats a good sign! but I was her first interview so we will see!

Sweeeeeeeet. Sounds good.

[Janeen]

I confess that I just took and posted my very first bare belly pregnancy shot.

[Cosmosmom]

I just got home from my interview. It went GREAT, and she told me she will let me know by Wednesday. She also said "she got a good vibe from me" and also she's looking for "That face the community will see" I was smiling as she said this, and then she said "That smiling face"

I hope thats a good sign! but I was her first interview so we will see!

Ohhh sounds promising! Do you have email for her? If so, it might be good to send a quick thank you email.

[WillowSpy]

Go go Kitty!!!!! That's super exciting

Have you had any more information about that cyst from the 20 week u/s? (you might have updated while I was away, so sorry if I'm asking you to repeat stuff!)

[MammaMia]

That's awesome Ashley, I have finger & toes crossed for you!

I have to start job hunting too. I applied for a job the other day and I was supposed to make a follow-up call. I have phone phobia, so I'm procrastinating.

I confess that Mia is driving me crazy-go-nuts this week! Thank goodness daycare starts again tomorrow. I feel horrible saying that, but she's amuch happier child when she goes.

I confess that I spent 5 minutes trying to take out my contact, before finally realising it wasn't there. So I spent 5 minutes poking myself in the eye for nothing. *shudder*

I confess that I think I'm the only person who still starts sentences with "I confess..."

[The10Eels]

I have to start job hunting too. I applied for a job the other day and I was supposed to make a follow-up call. I have phone phobia, so I'm procrastinating.

I confess I do too! and yet I worked for 3 years at a call center where all I did was sit on the phone all day long!

[WillowSpy]

I confess that Mia is driving me crazy-go-nuts this week! Thank goodness daycare starts again tomorrow. I feel horrible saying that, but she's amuch happier child when she goes.

Yay!!! I remember your posts about Mia's first day care experiences, and I was so hoping things would work out for you guys (or you girls, I should say).

[sunrider]

If I truly am bipolar, that's great, but I hate that I walked into her office the first day and she diagnosed me with it. I'm not for quick fixes and I think that is what medicine is a lot of the time. It's like overdiagnosing ADD. A lot of the time it's something else. I think if my problem's truly going to be fixed I need to figure out what exactly is eating at me. I don't think it's just chemical.

Kate, I think it's important for you to establish if your problems are due to a chemical imbalance. But at the same time it sounds like you don't trust your current therapist. Could you explore the option of finding someone different?

Kate. Big Virtual Hugs for you woman.
I have no experience with therapists and only know a bit about bipolar, but it does seem strange to me that she diagnosed you with it immediately on your very first visit. Maybe she is a little pill happy. Do you have to wait for a referral from her or can you go out and get your own second opinion? (I know it all depends on insurance coverage). It would be interesting to see what a second dr says (and not knowing what your first doc's diagnosis was).

A part time job my do wonders, too. I confess I know I could never be a full time stay at home mom. As much as I love my little man, I have to have a break from him to maintain my sanity. I wish I could work less, to spend more time with him, but I know I could not NOT work. I agree that it would give you a reason to get up, dressed and out of the house, and might open new opportunities for friends and activities.

ETA: I have a horrid fear of needles in veins, too (other shots I'm fine with - I even gave myself allergy shots for years, but if it's a vein I freak). Assertively walk in the door and tell them flat out your terrified of needles and you want their best sticker assigned to you. There can be vast differences in experience and skill when drawing blood. I have to tell them to lay me down in advance as I get dizzy and feel faint every time (but they often tell me they appreciate that, even if they grumble about having to find a table for me - better to know in advance there's a chance, than to have to deal with me slithering out of the chair and surprising them). I have had blood drawn where I never even felt the needle go in or come out and it was done in mere seconds. I have never donated blood though and may never. It's enough that I submit for medical blood draws. And I agonize over surgery, when needed, cause let's not even talk about IVs.

[daylilies]

Kitty Git er done!!!! How exciting!
Lydia, your PTing sounds like a dream come true. Did either of your kids resist the idea...like REALLY resist the idea?

Kate, I get like that everytime I am confined to the house for more than 3 days. I actually get panicky at the thought of going anywhere on my own or even getting in the car to drive anywhere.
This is why I could never be a stay-at-home mom.
You NEED to get a job, part time or otherwise, just to get yourself dressed and out of the house on a regular basis.

Once again, good luck Ashley!

It's not really going out that's the problem. I go out every day just fine with Josh. But when I have to motivate to do something for myself I just don't know what to do!

I just got home from my interview. It went GREAT, and she told me she will let me know by Wednesday. She also said "she got a good vibe from me" and also she's looking for "That face the community will see" I was smiling as she said this, and then she said "That smiling face"

I hope thats a good sign! but I was her first interview so we will see!

Good luck!

Sunrider, thanks for the advice on the needles.

[MammaMia]

Yay!!! I remember your posts about Mia's first day care experiences, and I was so hoping things would work out for you guys (or you girls, I should say).

Thanks! Mia loves it now. She's been off since Christmas and she really misses it.

I have mixed feelings about going back to work - I know I'll miss Mia like crazy, but I really feel like it's time. I think working will be like a holiday after being a SAHM.

Kate - I hope you're doing ok today. I understand that feeling of being really listless and having no motivation to do anything. It sucks.

[WillowSpy]

Kate. I agree with your suspicion that a therapist who diagnoses you with bipolar at your first meeting is probably not right (or at least has massively jumped the gun). I really hope you can find help - GOOD help. I've been there, and it sucks

[daylilies]

I'm doing okay now. I was going to start maybe cooking more. I have a few healthy cookbooks I need to crack open. LOL
I'm just still not sure it will ever really work out with DH. There's too much rolling around in my head that he has said or done that I really don't like. But I think I have been doing it all wrong by thinking about it so much. If this continues and we really can't seem to work it out, I might just up and leave in the middle of the night before I have time to get scared. I know that's horrible but I know this roller coaster thing isn't fair to either one of us. I told him we (mostly he) needs to drink less. It's not even that often but he gets loud and irrational when he has like, more than 2 mixed drinks. (with 2 mixed drinks, we have sloppy sex, but I'm used to that.) So I'm going to cut him off at like 1, or 1 and 1/2 drinks. I told him no more crazy screaming fights. I told him to try to be more upbeat, and I will try to hold a conversation better and not be so afraid to share the things I like to do with him. We went out and bought two games last night. The one I picked is called "Would you rather" and is pretty fun. There are hypothetical questions one person is asked and the other has to bet tokens on what the person will say from 2 choices. It sounds like a great "getting to know you" game but I'm hoping it will help us reconnect. His is a strategic board game we haven't tried yet.

[MammaMia]

I'm doing okay now. I was going to start maybe cooking more. I have a few healthy cookbooks I need to crack open. LOL
I'm just still not sure it will ever really work out with DH. There's too much rolling around in my head that he has said or done that I really don't like. But I think I have been doing it all wrong by thinking about it so much. If this continues and we really can't seem to work it out, I might just up and leave in the middle of the night before I have time to get scared. I know that's horrible but I know this roller coaster thing isn't fair to either one of us. I told him we (mostly he) needs to drink less. It's not even that often but he gets loud and irrational when he has like, more than 2 mixed drinks. (with 2 mixed drinks, we have sloppy sex, but I'm used to that.) So I'm going to cut him off at like 1, or 1 and 1/2 drinks. I told him no more crazy screaming fights. I told him to try to be more upbeat, and I will try to hold a conversation better and not be so afraid to share the things I like to do with him. We went out and bought two games last night. The one I picked is called "Would you rather" and is pretty fun. There are hypothetical questions one person is asked and the other has to bet tokens on what the person will say from 2 choices. It sounds like a great "getting to know you" game but I'm hoping it will help us reconnect. His is a strategic board game we haven't tried yet.

The boardgames sound like fun, especially the questions one - it sounds like a good way to get talking again. DH & I have been playing boardgames a lot too recently. It's good to do an activity together.

[The10Eels]

Kate! Would you rather is SUCH a fun game!

I confess I was having an amazing day. My interview went great, then I went up to the college and paid my Intent deposit, and bought my books for class. Then my mom and I went to Walmart.

B called while we were in walmart to ask if I took something that actually belonged to his friend. I didn't know if I did, and said I would look - but I wasn't the only one packing up my stuff. He came back with "I know. You should have called me so that we could split things together."

I went off that I tried calling and texting him for 4 days before I left and I never got a response. He told me I could have just come by the house. Why the hell would I do that if I am not getting a reply on the phone? I wasn't gonna waste my time and drive out there if he wasn't home. so then he goes on about "Oh, you didn't have time to bring me my girls?"

We argued for a few minutes, and then I was like. "This is ridiculous. I am in the middle of walmart, and I am not going to make a scene. I didn't want this to get Nasty."

He said he didn't either, but with major attitude, and I said "Then you can stop being an @sshole" and hung up.

[daylilies]

Ugh, I'm sorry he's being difficult Ashley.

[The10Eels]

Me too... I havent cried about the whole situation in like 3 weeks. and I did today. In the middle of walmart. but I think it was more because I was frustrated than sad.

[Bridget]

What a jerk Ashley! If he wanted to see "his girls" he should have answered your flippin phone call. That really makes me mad for you. I'm so glad you have a hopeful new job and you are starting a new life. He does not deserve you.

[Gwenn]

Ashley, B really is an @sshole, isn't he? I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

I confess I started back to work today after two weeks off. I had a rough vacation what with our financial situation, my uncle's mystery illness, and my cat's $800 surgery (finances were bad pre-surgery) that hasn't healed up and she will need more anesthesia/stitches tomorrow (so probably another $800 we don't have).

I was so down about things that honestly I only got dressed when I absolutely had to. I spent all day yesterday obsessing about not wanting to go back to work -- and I truly love my job.

I had a great day back and this afternoon I'm in a good mood (as much as possible with the cat having a huge gaping wound in her @ss, at least).

I have to say along with Julie, perhaps I'm just not cut out to be a stay at home mom if the time ever comes for me. It's a little scary, actually.

[Bridget]

I confess that dbf is, at this moment, building a loft down in the daycare and I am really, really excited about it. The winter is so long here and the kids so need large motor activity. They are going to be so thrilled!
I confess that yesterday I walked into the kitchen when dbf was standing at the sink getting some water. He'd had a really bad night's sleep, as he sometimes does and he suddenly looked really old to me. I immediately felt this incredible sadness. It made me scared. Then he looked up at me and said, "I'm so hungry. Can we have bacon and eggs?", and in an instant he was back to his six year old self.

[Janeen]

I confess that dbf is, at this moment, building a loft down in the daycare and I am really, really excited about it. The winter is so long here and the kids so need large motor activity. They are going to be so thrilled!
I confess that yesterday I walked into the kitchen when dbf was standing at the sink getting some water. He'd had a really bad night's sleep, as he sometimes does and he suddenly looked really old to me. I immediately felt this incredible sadness. It made me scared. Then he looked up at me and said, "I'm so hungry. Can we have bacon and eggs?", and in an instant he was back to his six year old self.

Awww.

I confess that I deal with this from time to time, with Jimi being 13 years older than me.

Sometimes I am stricken with sadness if I think about being on this earth longer than him.