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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #5911

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    Hi guys! I was gone the last couple days and kinda lost track of everything that's been going on here, but I just wanted to say hi and I hope everything's going okay for everyone.

  2. #5912
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    Matthew 5:31-32 (NIV)

    31"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' 32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery."

    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  3. #5913
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    I confess that I have started to DREAD weekends. I seriously hate them. I'm so glad tomorrow is Monday!


  4. #5914
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    Quote Originally Posted by MammaMia View Post
    I confess that I have started to DREAD weekends. I seriously hate them. I'm so glad tomorrow is Monday!
    Why do you dread weekends?
    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  5. #5915

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    Quote Originally Posted by elmobo-n-lexi View Post
    I confess I have to change our whole way of eating. So no pizza, no yummy desserts. Nothing. DH was put on a no sodium diet by his doc due to his blood pressure and other things, so now I have to be miserable too. I've been in a bad mood since he told me what his blood pressure was. Not for his health, but for the fact that we have to start eating right. I'm upset.

    lol. he insists that I can eat what I used to eat and he'll just change his diet, but I just can't do that to him.
    Tred is on high blood pressure meds (a new one - he's been treated for it for more than a year now with meds), and just recently diabetes. The reduced carbs needed are killing him, and I find myself eating up all the crap in the house so it's not a temptation for him.

    I had lost 50-60 pounds from pre-baby weight. I confess I'm probably up another 15 pounds now - over the last 3-4 weeks.

    Quote Originally Posted by atenielle View Post
    Have you looked into a no-sodium salt substitute?

    My mom has Meniere's Disease, which is a disorder of the inner ear- like Vertigo 24/7... and the doctors told her one thing that will really help is to drastically reduce her sodium intake... and the substitute really isn't all that bad...
    My mother has that . . . I wonder if she was ever told about the low sodium to make it better. Must remember to tell her.

    Quote Originally Posted by Janeen View Post
    Why do you dread weekends?
    No kidding. The only reason I would hate weekends is that they're too fraking short and over in the blink of an eye.
    Krista & Jonathan: Liam, our one and only, born 9 Sep 2008



  6. #5916
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    Yeah, on Friday night I'm like sweet...two days off! Saturday I'm like thankfully we still have one more day, and Sunday? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh man, work tomorrow!
    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  7. #5917
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janeen View Post
    Why do you dread weekends?
    They're really stressful for us. We never do anything fun - we're always catching up on chores, or we're sick, or DH has to work from home. I usually end up looking after Mia by myself. We get cranky then end up bickering. It's really frustrating.

    Next weekend I'm scheduling a date night!


  8. #5918
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janeen View Post
    Yeah, on Friday night I'm like sweet...two days off! Saturday I'm like thankfully we still have one more day, and Sunday? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh man, work tomorrow!
    That sounds about right! I LOVE Saturdays.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  9. #5919

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    Quote Originally Posted by MammaMia View Post
    I usually end up looking after Mia by myself. We get cranky then end up bickering. It's really frustrating.
    !
    This is how our weekends work out, too. DH still sees them as his time to relax from his workweek and doesn't understand that I need his help on the weekends too.

    I think part of it is that we don't schedule "outings" enough. I need to get on top of that so that I can just tell him the schedule rather than expecting him to come up with activities or just take J for a walk without me prompting it.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  10. #5920

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    OK, that I CAN understand. Our weekends are often grocery shopping and errands and cleaning the house.

    I hate shopping after work during the week cause I really feel like we have no down time or time to enjoy Liam, but it's so much nicer to do it during the week and then NOT have to leave the house on the weekends. If I could hire someone to clean, I definitely would.
    Krista & Jonathan: Liam, our one and only, born 9 Sep 2008



  11. #5921

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    I wish it were still the weekend. I just love having everyone around. I don't do any chores or anything on Saturday, that's my only day off. DH and I usually do something together on Friday night and on Sunday we all do the errands and chores to get ready for the week. Sometimes though on Sunday we just chill around the house and I don't care about the mess or the dishes or the laundry and I'll just do it during the week so we can have fun on weekends. DH is always kind of depressed on Sunday night because he doesn't want to go back to work. The only think I'm afraid of is that one day we might have some random CPS worker or someone decide to do a surpise visit at our house for some unknown reason on Sunday and see the mess. It gets REALLY messy really quickly around here, especially when I don't clean on Saturdays, but I would rather rest all day than clean it up for appearances.

    Erin
    Last edited by Ky'sMom; 11-16-2009 at 10:38 AM.

  12. #5922

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    We don't really have a weekend. DH has Sundays and Thursdays off. It was better in a way when we had the whole weekend, but the two separate days break up the week nicely.

    If I could hire someone to do one thing around here, it would be to clean the floors. I didn't realize what a PITA hardwood floors are, LOL

  13. #5923
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    Quote Originally Posted by katycat24 View Post
    This is how our weekends work out, too. DH still sees them as his time to relax from his workweek and doesn't understand that I need his help on the weekends too.

    I think part of it is that we don't schedule "outings" enough. I need to get on top of that so that I can just tell him the schedule rather than expecting him to come up with activities or just take J for a walk without me prompting it.
    Yeah, this is us too. I need to be better about scheduling stuff. DH wants to relax on the couch, which I totally understand, but the problem is that Mia gets bored and grumpy so it's not relaxing for me at all.


  14. #5924

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    I confess I'm lurking here because our cat puked on the cable box yesterday and fried it so I can't watch tv (Josh is napping)

    I confess I feel like something is wrong with me because I was reading the "how many children did you want" thread and I see the ladies who want/have so many children, and I have so much trouble with just one. I would love to have a noisy happy home with lots of kids but I know I would not be able to handle it

    I confess I snapped last night, because I was trying to talk to DH and I asked him a simple question and he looked at me like I was speaking another language. I asked him if he'd seen Josh's new toothpaste. I said "Have you seen it downstairs?" expecting him to say "Yes, let me go get it" or "No, let me go look"...but he just looked at me blankly. (then it occured to him that he put it away in the very bathroom we were standing in) Then Josh was throwing a fit about wanting to open the new toothpaste and I just wanted him to finish up the old tube, and brush his teeth. I exclaimed "Why does everyone in this house act like it's so hard to figure out what I WANT!"

  15. #5925

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    I was really surprised at the "how many children did you want" thread . . . .
    I never answered it but did look at the poll results. I don't feel like I should answer because for the longest time I didn't want any. That's why I had my first LO at age 38. Twenty years ago I would have loved twin girls.

    Now that I have one? At least with my age and back, I can't imagine having another one. If I had met Tred sooner, and money not so big a worry, I think I would have had a second. But I'm in the minority at wanting kids further apart. I can't imagine a 2 year old and a newborn, but that seems to be a popular spacing and I have friends who planned their second pregnancy so the kids were 2 years apart.
    Krista & Jonathan: Liam, our one and only, born 9 Sep 2008



  16. #5926

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    I like the idea of having kids far apart too. Maybe not like 10 years, but it would be nice to have one at least potty trained, or maybe even in school, before having another, I think.
    So I think if I still wanted 2, that's how I'd do it.

  17. #5927

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    I think that it's awesome that you girls (Kate and Kristi) know what you want! It makes me sad that people often feel some sort of obligation to have a lot of kids, or to not have kids, to space the close together, etc. When it comes to having children, there are really no right answers and it's all based on what you want, on your personality, on your SO, on your money situation, etc.

    I'm the polar opposite of you guys, though All my high school and college classmates are waiting until their 30s and 40s to have kids, and even then most of them want 1, maybe 2. And here I am, planning on having 2 before 30 and probably one after that.


  18. #5928

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    I'm pretty indecisive about most everything, but there are a couple things I know I want. LOL

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    Its funny how things change as you get older...

    I always knew I WANTED kids, but never thought I would actually HAVE kids... Much less 2 so close together... and all before I turned 24

  20. #5930
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    I just posted this in another thread, but thought I'd share here, too.

    I confess I just found out my ex-SIL is pregnant.

    She never wanted children, but after she was with my brother for 10 years she agreed to try it. They got pregnant immediately and though she loves my nephew it really made her resent my brother and she ended up kicking him out. She was a total b**** to him. Now she's having another one with her new SO who has two kids of his own, and she's 42 and doesn't even like babies. WTF?

    I'm usually pretty level-headed about STC but this really pisses me off.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  21. #5931

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    Woah.... Mandy, I'm really sorry, that is so wrong, and all-around crummy


  22. #5932

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    Quote Originally Posted by gwennero View Post
    I just posted this in another thread, but thought I'd share here, too.

    I confess I just found out my ex-SIL is pregnant.

    She never wanted children, but after she was with my brother for 10 years she agreed to try it. They got pregnant immediately and though she loves my nephew it really made her resent my brother and she ended up kicking him out. She was a total b**** to him. Now she's having another one with her new SO who has two kids of his own, and she's 42 and doesn't even like babies. WTF?

    I'm usually pretty level-headed about STC but this really pisses me off.
    I'm sorry!

    Ashley - 25, Chris - 27, Elizabeth - 9-22-04, Alexis - 12-19-08

  23. #5933
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    Quote Originally Posted by WillowSpy View Post
    Woah.... Mandy, I'm really sorry, that is so wrong, and all-around crummy
    Quote Originally Posted by elmobo-n-lexi View Post
    I'm sorry!
    Thanks.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  24. #5934

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    Thinking about it some more... there are two things about your situation that piss me off for you, Mandy. Number one, that someone who does not like babies is not doing something to prevent having them. Unless she is having it to "trap" this new guy, in which case I'm even more pissed. And number two, the general unfairness of the universe that irresponsible teens, terrible women who hate babies, etc all get pregnant so easily, but that oftentimes the people who want it the most have to struggle.



  25. #5935
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    I confess that I am kind of like you Agatha, except you have four years to have those two kids by thirty and I have two years!!! LOL, well just short of two years since I will be 29 in July.

    We have already decided we want two as close as possible. We will try for a few months on our own to see if the Metformin (which I am taking throughout this pregnancy) has regulated me enough to do it ourselves. If not, we will do an IUI very soon after we're able to.

    I confess as mentioned in the how many kids thread, growing up I wanted six kids as I was from a family with six kids...but now I want two, maybe three. Even though now that I am pregnant, I told Jimi let's see how I dig this labor thing the first time and we will go from there! LOL, I am sure we will have two or three though. years
    Last edited by Janeen; 11-16-2009 at 07:02 PM.
    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  26. #5936
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    Quote Originally Posted by atenielle View Post
    Its funny how things change as you get older...

    I always knew I WANTED kids, but never thought I would actually HAVE kids... Much less 2 so close together... and all before I turned 24
    That is true for sure! All through my teen years and even in college, I just wanted to get married and be a stay at home mom. I thought for sure that I would have one kid and maybe both by 30.

    Now I'm 31 and life had other plans for me I guess. Now I'm just hoping to eventually have one kid and I know for a fact that I like my career too much to give it up...plus I'm the bigger earner for the family.

    And I'm even thinking about how life might be for us if we never have a child and just enjoy each other and have dogs. At one point I never would have even considered not being a mom....but the older I get, the more set in my ways and the more I wonder if having a child is really worth it.

    Well at this point, it's out of our hands anyway....

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  27. #5937
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    Mandy....I can totally get out how you feel and I'm sorry!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  28. #5938
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    I confess....tomorrow we are going to get into a contract to buy a lot next month! We are getting a pretty darn good deal and now just need to decide if we are going to pay cash totally or just pay most of it and fiance a little bit of it.

    The builder is working on the plans for the house and letting us know final price. We had a plan in May and price in May (but that included lot which we are now doing before) but have made a few changes so I'm expecting the price to up maybe about 5-6K.

    Building would start end of Feb or March and we would close in June to get the tax credit.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  29. #5939
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer912 View Post
    That is true for sure! All through my teen years and even in college, I just wanted to get married and be a stay at home mom. I thought for sure that I would have one kid and maybe both by 30.

    Now I'm 31 and life had other plans for me I guess. Now I'm just hoping to eventually have one kid and I know for a fact that I like my career too much to give it up...plus I'm the bigger earner for the family.

    And I'm even thinking about how life might be for us if we never have a child and just enjoy each other and have dogs. At one point I never would have even considered not being a mom....but the older I get, the more set in my ways and the more I wonder if having a child is really worth it.

    Well at this point, it's out of our hands anyway....
    Wow, Jennifer, I could have written this post word for word myself, except I'm 36 ... so even more set in my ways and worried about the health risks.

    And re: my ex-SIL, I know I said he was new but actually not that new ... the divorce finally came through about 6 months ago but she's been with this guy about 4 years now. Slightly longer than they've been trying to get the divorce dealt with. So unless she's trying to stop him from leaving her (possible), I doubt it was on purpose to trap him. On the other hand, she was with my brother for 13 years or so and this guy for 4, and she never had any accidents so you have to wonder.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 11-16-2009 at 08:13 PM.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  30. #5940
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    Quote Originally Posted by gwennero View Post
    Wow, Jennifer, I could have written this post word for word myself, except I'm 36 ... so even more set in my ways and worried about the health risks.
    .
    I honestly do wonder if it's really worth it. I mean I know I would love my child and I'm pretty sure I would like having one. Not quite as sure I would like to have a teenager.

    I'm used to doing what I want, when I want and the only person we have to think about is the dog and really she can be left alone for the day (she uses a litter box).

    I really am not sure how to handle getting to bed at night when I have issues with that as it is and getting myself and someone else ready in the morning. I barely can get myself out the door on time.

    I know a child would make a worry a lot....I just do enough as it is with DH and my sister and Cosmo. Cosmo gets the slightest thing wrong and we are at the vet...when she had a UTI, vet said most people do not even notice as early as I did with her.

    Do I really want to have to leave work early when they are sick and have to rush around at nights doing sports or music or whatever it is?

    And then you see studies and supposedly the happiest people are those who do not have kids.

    But than again, this could just be a way of coping and looking at the bright side of missing out on something.

    I do think that most people love their kids....but even though they love them, I wonder how many regret them or resent them.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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