Secular Confessions

[The10Eels]

so I asked about the condoms, and his story for those is kinda believable...

They're the new Trojan ecstasy ones... He said that he got them for us to use - hence why they are in the nightstand - until I get my IUD placed (I do believe if he got them to use with someone else he would be smarter than to leave them in the nightstand....) He said they were open because he wanted to see what they were like - so used one while he pleasured himself..... There was only one missing, and it was in the trashcan in our room.. and there has not been a time that he was here without me.

[daylilies]

Ok, well I'd still be keeping a count on those condoms LOL

[girlwonder]

At least he knows now that he is on notice...

[Luna]

I conffess I've been MIA. . . crazy week. Hugs Ashley, Mandy. . .I don't think you were wrong in reporting/complaining. . .

I also confess I just saw an ad on CL for a children's guillotine. It was like "get this for your kids for Christmas". Weird.

[adlibby]

Another thread started me thinking (dangerous, I know)...

Are there more Attachment or more Traditional mommas that regularly post in Secular? I think I know the answer, am curious if I am right..

[daylilies]

Oh! Speaking of inappropriate gifts! Has anyone seen those little toy toiletry kits? They have like a shaving brush, comb, and a fake razor...I just think the fake razor is a bad idea. What if the kid decided he wanted to try it with daddy's razor? Am I overreacting?
My gut reaction on the AP/Trad question is that there are more AP moms in here (I don't really know who is who because I don't go to either room except to lurk once in a while)
I try to be more AP, but lean a little towards Trad sometimes.

[Bridget]

Atenielle - I'm so sorry. I can't believe him! WTF?
Lydia - It does sound like a really scary situation to have both kids run off like that. I think you've gotten some great advice. I think that they are at a hard age and even by the time you have your baby they will have started to understand a little more. I'm really lucky that mine have never been runners. They stay close in public places.

[3andMe]

I think there are more AP parents in here, but maybe it's just a bias. I am more AP, BUT I'm not extremist. I have pretty much stopped reading a lot in AP because I was so tired of the shocked stories about someone's friend who let a baby cry. I have a friend who did sleep training with her son, and I don't think she's a bad parent. I also, even though I don't/won't spank, don't think it is something to lecture or shun another parent about (interesting bit about spanking in NurtureShock, btw). So I co-sleep, babywear when possible (difficult with two), and believe more in raising children to feel secure and confident than become self-sufficient, but that's about it.

Not the same, but similar...
I was raised with an environmental extremist movement, and I am such a natural moderate I had a really hard time with tree-spiking and chaining myself to stuff because it seemed like it would make more people turn against us than it would otherwise. Maybe I was just being a coward, but I kept thinking that a few well-chosen words might help more. I do realize the world needs passion and extremism, and it gets things done, but I'm not one of them.
--------------------

Ashley, I am sorry you're going through a hard time with your dh right now. This is the LAST thing you need, relationship stress, on top of taking care of a toddler and a newborn (I love the "Crib midget" and "Nipple nibbler" in your signature!). I hope it is over quickly and resolved to your satisfaction ASAP.

[girlwonder]

I have pretty much stopped reading a lot in AP because I was so tired of the shocked stories about someone's friend who let a baby cry.

This.

The labels seem to be a way of dividing and defining people without really knowing them. So I am just a parent. Some things traditional, some things AP. If you were to compare this to religion (which some seem to treat it as), then I would certainly be in the secular camp. Meaning everyone just do whatever gets the job done for them and their family, but I don't want to get into fights about who is better.

[The10Eels]

(I love the "Crib midget" and "Nipple nibbler" in your signature!)..

DH's nicknames actually... I think he said he heard them on a movie, but I can't think of which one...

I confess Audrianna was sitting on my bed yesterday clapping and saying "happy happy happy".
My mom taught her "If you're happy and you know it" while she was here... lol

[stephmama]

I confess Audrianna was sitting on my bed yesterday clapping and saying "happy happy happy".
My mom taught her "If you're happy and you know it" while she was here... lol

[elmobo-n-lexi]

This.

The labels seem to be a way of dividing and defining people without really knowing them. So I am just a parent. Some things traditional, some things AP. If you were to compare this to religion (which some seem to treat it as), then I would certainly be in the secular camp. Meaning everyone just do whatever gets the job done for them and their family, but I don't want to get into fights about who is better.

I love this answer. This is me. I'm both AP and traditional, but I find that as Elizabeth gets older i'm going more traditional, but always "gently". BTW, I HATE that idea, that AP is more "gentle" than trad. I have spanked Elizabeth......maybe twice in her whole life, (and once was for running out in the road, and I forget the other) and I'm not harsh with her. But I DO expect her to behave a certain way, and she knows darn good and well that if she doesn't, she's in trouble, so in that way I lean toward traditional. I don't post in AP, because of the reasons mentioned above. But if it's something near and dear to me I will. I just do what I do and know that i'm the best mom *my* kids could have. I absolutely love the way they're raised and how good and well mannered and laid back they are. I love that everyone that is around them compliments DH and I that they're the best behaved kids. And I also love the fact that no matter where we go or what we have to do we never have to worry about how they're going to act or if they're going to be misbehaved. They're good kids and I'm a good mom. That's all I really care about.

[Bridget]

I confess that last night I went to a birthday party for an old friend. It was at a trendy bar and there were so many people there that I hardly got a chance to talk to her at all. I thought my head was going to explode from the boredom of small talk with people I hardly know. I was so happy when the friend I had gone there with looked at me from across the bar after about an hour and mouthed, "Let's go." Her and I said quick goodbyes and drove downtown to my brother's apt where he had left his keys for us before going out of town. We went to a dive bar where we sat for 3 hours and just poured our hearts out to each other. She is my closest confidante and dearest friend. Her Dh and my dbf both really suck right now and neither of us can believe we ended up with men such as these. We were such vibrant, confident, strong young woman. But we each also have two amazing children so whatever we go through now is totally worth it.
We told each other if we ever do get around to leaving them, we'll try to do it at the same time. Kiddingly, of course. Kind of. It was the greatest night I have had in a really really long time. A dark quiet corner of a bar and my beautiful friend.

[Ky'sMom]

The labels seem to be a way of dividing and defining people without really knowing them. So I am just a parent. Some things traditional, some things AP. If you were to compare this to religion (which some seem to treat it as), then I would certainly be in the secular camp. Meaning everyone just do whatever gets the job done for them and their family, but I don't want to get into fights about who is better.

I agree with this as well and it is well put.

I love this answer. This is me. I'm both AP and traditional, but I find that as Elizabeth gets older i'm going more traditional, but always "gently". BTW, I HATE that idea, that AP is more "gentle" than trad. I have spanked Elizabeth......maybe twice in her whole life, (and once was for running out in the road, and I forget the other) and I'm not harsh with her. But I DO expect her to behave a certain way, and she knows darn good and well that if she doesn't, she's in trouble, so in that way I lean toward traditional. I don't post in AP, because of the reasons mentioned above. But if it's something near and dear to me I will. I just do what I do and know that i'm the best mom *my* kids could have. I absolutely love the way they're raised and how good and well mannered and laid back they are. I love that everyone that is around them compliments DH and I that they're the best behaved kids. And I also love the fact that no matter where we go or what we have to do we never have to worry about how they're going to act or if they're going to be misbehaved. They're good kids and I'm a good mom. That's all I really care about.

I also agree with this. I consider myself traditional only because I parent how my mom and grandma parented me is most aspects (without as much dysfuntion though I hope). Though I am not a spank a child for everything type of parent, I will do it if I think it is necessary. I can't remember the last time Ky had a spanking at all. Probably almost 2 years ago. I only had 2 spankings my whole life that I remember. And really I don't see anything abusive or wrong about sleep training a baby. I have never done it but I have babies who love to sleep and are pretty lazy so I have never been in that situation. I just do my best and take the positives of how I was parented and try to add on to them and don't concern myself with labels. A lot of people I know probably think I am AP, since I BF and am still BFing Elle once a day most days (which a lot of IRL folks I know think is weird), we CD (another weird thing), and I don't yell at the kids or hit hands or anything with Elle, which my aunt just can't believe. But it works well for us and I just go with the flow and try not to overreact on everything and enjoy my kids while they're kids. We are a family centered family and try to treat everyone with repect and kindness. I feel that I was treated with kindness by my parents and grandparents the majority of the time and I hope to do the same for my kids and my DH, even though it's kind of hard being kind to him most of the time lol.

Erin

[elmobo-n-lexi]

I confess that last night I went to a birthday party for an old friend. It was at a trendy bar and there were so many people there that I hardly got a chance to talk to her at all. I thought my head was going to explode from the boredom of small talk with people I hardly know. I was so happy when the friend I had gone there with looked at me from across the bar after about an hour and mouthed, "Let's go." Her and I said quick goodbyes and drove downtown to my brother's apt where he had left his keys for us before going out of town. We went to a dive bar where we sat for 3 hours and just poured our hearts out to each other. She is my closest confidante and dearest friend. Her Dh and my dbf both really suck right now and neither of us can believe we ended up with men such as these. We were such vibrant, confident, strong young woman. But we each also have two amazing children so whatever we go through now is totally worth it.
We told each other if we ever do get around to leaving them, we'll try to do it at the same time. Kiddingly, of course. Kind of. It was the greatest night I have had in a really really long time. A dark quiet corner of a bar and my beautiful friend.

It's really so nice to have a friend like this. Hey, if you both leave your DH's at once, you could move in together! I have a friend like this that i've had since HS. We can go two years without seeing each other, and every time we get together it's like we've never been apart. It's great.

[daylilies]

Bridget, I'm glad you got to share that time with a good friend. It must be really nice to have her!

[stephmama]

I'm happy for you Bridget.

[AlishaAnew]

Ashley
Bridget that is awesome! I miss my "friends"

[adlibby]

Very cool, pleasantly surprised about parenting 'styles' or lack thereof.

I'm not one or the other but do lean toward AP and common sense I hope.

Thanks for your answers, I think I'll feel better coming in here to discuss stuff rather then AP or TP.

[3andMe]

Thanks for your answers, I think I'll feel better coming in here to discuss stuff rather then AP or TP.

That's why I asked for advice about my twin shenanigans here rather than anywhere else. I like to think I get some different points of view, but not too much that is way out there in one way or another.

And Bridget, I'm so glad you got to spend time with such a nice, supportive friend.

[AlishaAnew]

To be honest before Evie I was unaware there were 'parenting styles'. I thought parents were just parents.
If we do have to do classifications then I have no idea what I would be classified as. I am just me. I am Evie's mom.

[Janeen]

To be honest before Evie I was unaware there were 'parenting styles'. I thought parents were just parents.
If we do have to do classifications then I have no idea what I would be classified as. I am just me. I am Evie's mom.

I wasn't aware of these parenting styles before APA.

[AlishaAnew]

I wasn't aware of these parenting styles before APA.

Same here.

[Janeen]

I was kind of trying to explain them to Jimi one day but gave up.

[AlishaAnew]

I confess I think Evie will be a ninja when she grows up

[Janeen]

lol she looks like she's using a bow and arrow with her pose.

[girlwonder]

I confess that my MIL is about to make me start screaming.

[AlishaAnew]

lol she looks like she's using a bow and arrow with her pose.

Yeah it does

I confess that my MIL is about to make me start screaming.

oh no what happened??

[girlwonder]

Yeah it does


oh no what happened??

She opened her mouth.

[AlishaAnew]

She opened her mouth.

ohh I hate when they do that