Secular Confessions

**AlishaAnew** · 10-21-2009, 07:32 PM

Originally Posted by Janeen

There's always Colorado.

I confess that family is the only reason I haven't fully committed to moving to Hawaii for a couple of years when it's time for DH to finish up school.

Man, it sounds so lovely but I know I wouldn't see them unless we came to the states.

I was actually considering that state or N, S Carolina. I feel my inner Earth child screaming for me to get the F out of Texas for a bit.

It seriously is almost too plain here.

**AlishaAnew** · 10-21-2009, 07:33 PM

Originally Posted by Janeen

I confess that Jimi is sewing the button back on my brand new jacket that I wore for the first time today.

Yeah, so what if our relationship roles are a bit backwards?

Oh AND, I confess...happy 12 weeks of pregnancy and dating/wedding anniversary to me!

**Janeen** · 10-21-2009, 07:34 PM

Originally Posted by AlishaAnew

Hmm I got a bit of an aggravation to push through. Bear with me ladies.

*Big breath*

Honestly why do people care what other people think? I mean really.
I can understand seeking advice you would want others opinions and insights before making a decision yourself but other than that. You are who you are and whats the point of changing who you are to appease certain groups of people. It would only make you more miserable IMO, of repressing your true self. I "get" that humans have the social "want" of fitting in and being 'accepted' by others but in this big ole world you are pretty much guaranteed that there is someone else out there similar to you or who has the same interests/likes/personality as you do..So I understand the "socially acceptable" want but it just aggravates me when people feel the need to change themselves/others to "fit in"........

Oh my goodness I am rambling....ugh...did I make sense at all?

I am running on E lately.
Janeen you kind of reminded me of this with your posts

I won't go out of my way or change me to make people happy or make them like me but I do care what other people think. I guess it's more in the aspect of caring that they think I am a good person and what not though. I know when I was a teenager I couldn't give a crap less what people thought. I did what I wanted and that was that. I still tease now that "I do what I want" but when I hear teenagers say they don't care what others think, it makes me cringe. In that sense, you have to care, in my opinion. You can't walk around being a complete ass with no regard to how it makes others feel or how others feel about it...including authoritative figures which seems to be who teenagers are usually aiming towards when they say they don't care what anyone thinks.

I don't know...just my train of thought. Mmhmm, now you got me rambling!

**Janeen** · 10-21-2009, 07:43 PM

Originally Posted by AlishaAnew

I was actually considering that state or N, S Carolina. I feel my inner Earth child screaming for me to get the F out of Texas for a bit.

It seriously is almost too plain here.

I do love me some Colorado. Have you ever been here?

**AlishaAnew** · 10-21-2009, 07:58 PM

Originally Posted by Janeen

I do love me some Colorado. Have you ever been here?

Nope. Been stuck in Texas for ever. I guess that is another reason I am itching to get out.

**AlishaAnew** · 10-21-2009, 08:02 PM

Originally Posted by Janeen

I won't go out of my way or change me to make people happy or make them like me but I do care what other people think. I guess it's more in the aspect of caring that they think I am a good person and what not though. I know when I was a teenager I couldn't give a crap less what people thought. I did what I wanted and that was that. I still tease now that "I do what I want" but when I hear teenagers say they don't care what others think, it makes me cringe. In that sense, you have to care, in my opinion. You can't walk around being a complete ass with no regard to how it makes others feel or how others feel about it...including authoritative figures which seems to be who teenagers are usually aiming towards when they say they don't care what anyone thinks.

I don't know...just my train of thought. Mmhmm, now you got me rambling!

Well I understand wanting people to think you are a good person but trying to change who you are is different. Like it's your persona you know?

ohhmmyygeeeee I am rambling and confusing myself now. I'll be quiet...

**Gwenn** · 10-22-2009, 12:00 AM

I confess I'm nearing O, I'm going out of town tomorrow and DH is gone all weekend. Timing is critical.

I went and took a shower and when I came out, DH was at the bedroom window with the lights turned off and outside were five cop cars, all with lights flashing, stopping a car with a man, woman, and screaming baby inside. Border patrol just showed up and turned on their flashing lights. The red and blue strobe effect and terrified baby are really killing the mood.

Can I blame it on the border patrol if I don't get pregnant this month?

**Gwenn** · 10-22-2009, 12:01 AM

They're taking the man into custody. And the baby is still screaming. I hate the world sometimes.

**Gwenn** · 10-22-2009, 12:08 AM

DH says there is a 4-year-old in the car, too. Poor thing.

ETA: So Dad is being taken into custody, and a tow truck is here for the car. So what is happening to Mom and the kids? They walk home? CPS?

**sunrider** · 10-22-2009, 12:44 PM

Originally Posted by AlishaAnew

Honestly why do people care what other people think? I mean really.
I can understand seeking advice you would want others opinions and insights before making a decision yourself but other than that. You are who you are and whats the point of changing who you are to appease certain groups of people. It would only make you more miserable IMO, of repressing your true self. I "get" that humans have the social "want" of fitting in and being 'accepted' by others but in this big ole world you are pretty much guaranteed that there is someone else out there similar to you or who has the same interests/likes/personality as you do..So I understand the "socially acceptable" want but it just aggravates me when people feel the need to change themselves/others to "fit in"........

Wow . . . my mindset this week I feel like this is directed right at me.

Is it possible to love you inlaws and yet hate them . . . well, resent them . . . at the same time?

**3andMe** · 10-22-2009, 06:03 PM

I confess I keep finding things that I'm shocked or amazed or dumbfounded by in different areas of APA today, and every time I look through all the replies, I find that Maggie has been there before me, said everything I could have possibly thought of saying, and much better than I would have. Maggie, you're so wonderful! I can just relax and not have to worry about composing a thoughtful reply.

I'm sorry to hear your thesis isn't done yet. Would it help you or hurt you to know dh took 3 years longer in grad school than he'd anticipated, and the last 15 months were all thesis writing and revisions and more revisions and collaborating on another project while waiting to hear about his thesis from his advisor, and then having to write another paper on those findings while doing yet another rewrite? It was a long, drawn-out process and I can tell you I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief that he didn't decide to go for his post-doc. He looks back on that time of his life (the end of grad school) as a dark, miserable period of existence, and he's so glad to be done with it. I hope yours ends sooner and more happily than his.

**3andMe** · 10-22-2009, 06:04 PM

Originally Posted by gwennero

I confess I'm nearing O, I'm going out of town tomorrow and DH is gone all weekend. Timing is critical.

If you're that near, it wouldn't hurt to dtd now! Twice! I hope you get lucky.

**maggie** · 10-22-2009, 07:07 PM

Originally Posted by Lydia

I confess I keep finding things that I'm shocked or amazed or dumbfounded by in different areas of APA today, and every time I look through all the replies, I find that Maggie has been there before me, said everything I could have possibly thought of saying, and much better than I would have. Maggie, you're so wonderful! I can just relax and not have to worry about composing a thoughtful reply.

I'm sorry to hear your thesis isn't done yet. Would it help you or hurt you to know dh took 3 years longer in grad school than he'd anticipated, and the last 15 months were all thesis writing and revisions and more revisions and collaborating on another project while waiting to hear about his thesis from his advisor, and then having to write another paper on those findings while doing yet another rewrite? It was a long, drawn-out process and I can tell you I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief that he didn't decide to go for his post-doc. He looks back on that time of his life (the end of grad school) as a dark, miserable period of existence, and he's so glad to be done with it. I hope yours ends sooner and more happily than his.

As for your first point, that is so nice. I can't imagine anything clever or insightful I've said lately, but I trust your judgement.

And at this point, your DH's story makes me feel better. A lot better. Actually, it sounds eerily like mine. I've just decided not to do a post doc as well (well, 95% decided - so no huge sigh of relief yet, but it will come). I think a year ago that story would have been depressing, but now that I'm in the middle of it, its nice to know I'm not alone. My supervisor is bugging me to write a new paper, which is unrelated to the thesis, while I'm still working on the referee report for the last paper - which needs to go into the thesis. And writing the thesis itself. Barf. But I actually do think another few months will do the trick. Or at least I have to believe that at this point. Otherwise I might really have a break down and shave my head or something drastic.

**AlishaAnew** · 10-22-2009, 07:39 PM

Originally Posted by sunrider

Wow . . . my mindset this week I feel like this is directed right at me.

Is it possible to love you inlaws and yet hate them . . . well, resent them . . . at the same time?

oh no not at all.

It was Janeens post that reminded me of my little irritation.

**elmobo-n-lexi** · 10-22-2009, 08:03 PM

Originally Posted by AlishaAnew

oh no not at all.

It was Janeens post that reminded me of my little irritation.

haha I figured it was because of me too, due to my "can you be yourself on FB quiz" question. I picked no, I can't. And it sucks. And, actually, if it weren't for EVERY single one of my Dec. 08 girls, it wouldn't matter. But I just can't bring myself to offend them in any way. UGH

**WillowSpy** · 10-22-2009, 08:31 PM

I confess that I finally got around to reading the few back pages of confessions I missed and I really, really agree with all of the following...

Originally Posted by maggie

But now we have other things to 'bind' us together. Nations, states/provinces, cities. Sports teams fans. Fans of obscure bands, come to mind. Political affiliation. Membership on internet message boards! Government and law. Our jobs. Bowling teams. Play groups. etc, etc, etc.

...

In other words, I think we have evolved past the need for religion (really, still just agreeing with Dawkins!)

Originally Posted by maggie

Or to be more specific, past the need for organized religion as it existed for thousands of years. Not necessarily past the belief in God part. I don't think that that will ever end for humans (most humans, that is). I don't mean to imply that everyone needs to be (or should be) a full-on atheist like me. But organized religion as a social structure doesn't exist as it did (e.g. the Catholic church in Quebec until the 1960's- it was basically in charge of all aspects of peoples lives. They ran the government, pretty much. ugh.), and I'm so glad for that.

Now, the fundamentalist evangelical movement is trying to recreate that kind of all encompassing social structure....and it creeps me ooooooooout. And I guess it still exists with the Amish, Mennonites, Hudderites, etc. But now that is notable because of its rarity. And I don't mind that so much because they separate themselves and aren't trying to convert anybody.

Originally Posted by gwennero

Maggie, if I understand what you're saying correctly I think I agree with you. I do have my own faith, but I don't like the concept of religious structures as dictating people's lives for them, and I especially don't like the renewed intensity that seems to be springing up from different areas now that some of the old institutions like the Catholic church are becoming less restrictive.

**AlishaAnew** · 10-22-2009, 10:34 PM

Originally Posted by elmobo-n-lexi

haha I figured it was because of me too, due to my "can you be yourself on FB quiz" question. I picked no, I can't. And it sucks. And, actually, if it weren't for EVERY single one of my Dec. 08 girls, it wouldn't matter. But I just can't bring myself to offend them in any way. UGH

No none of you really. I should have reviewed others posts before sticking my foot in my mouth

**Luna** · 10-22-2009, 10:52 PM

Originally Posted by Lydia

I confess I keep finding things that I'm shocked or amazed or dumbfounded by in different areas of APA today, and every time I look through all the replies, I find that Maggie has been there before me, said everything I could have possibly thought of saying, and much better than I would have. Maggie, you're so wonderful! I can just relax and not have to worry about composing a thoughtful reply.

I feel the same way about you. All the time. It's a good thing, but I generally just want to post "what she said" and move on.

I'm never the first person to get to the juicy threads, anyway.

**sunrider** · 10-23-2009, 10:23 AM

Originally Posted by AlishaAnew

oh no not at all.

It was Janeens post that reminded me of my little irritation.

LOL, I would not have been offended if it HAD been directed at me. It's been the truth lately. I really feel like I'm not being myself. It's not really anyone's fault but my own.

Originally Posted by elmobo-n-lexi

haha I figured it was because of me too, due to my "can you be yourself on FB quiz" question. I picked no, I can't. And it sucks. And, actually, if it weren't for EVERY single one of my Dec. 08 girls, it wouldn't matter. But I just can't bring myself to offend them in any way. UGH

Yeah, I finally took my own quiz. And was amazed to see that more than a third of those that have taken it do censor themselves. Do you mean you censor yourself on Fb because of the other APA moms in the Dec 08 birth room?

Originally Posted by Luna

I feel the same way about you. All the time. It's a good thing, but I generally just want to post "what she said" and move on.

I'm never the first person to get to the juicy threads, anyway.

Me too! And lately it seems like by the time I get to reading about the drama (usually here!) the offending thread has been deleted

.

**sunrider** · 10-23-2009, 01:39 PM

I confess I'm sick of drama. I'm getting a cold, I haven't slept much in the last 2 night BECAUSE I'm getting sick. My head hurts, my throat hurts.

And I'd seriously like to slap the shi1 out of my MIL.
Why oh why did I ever give in to Facebook?

**rhiannasmoms43** · 10-23-2009, 02:35 PM

Why don't you modify your privacy settings on fb so that she doesn't have the full view of your profile? Then you can relax a bit more.

**The10Eels** · 10-23-2009, 03:55 PM

I confess I think Julie needs to update her siggy with new pics of her gorgeous family!

**The10Eels** · 10-23-2009, 03:57 PM

oh! I was going to add this too -- I confess I nursed in public TWICE today! I was/am so proud of myself! and I stood up to the doctor about giving Charlene formula -- "Because she is loosing weight"

DUDE! My milk just came in YESTERDAY!! She's only 4 days old!

**WillowSpy** · 10-23-2009, 04:01 PM

Originally Posted by atenielle

oh! I was going to add this too -- I confess I nursed in public TWICE today! I was/am so proud of myself! and I stood up to the doctor about giving Charlene formula -- "Because she is loosing weight"

DUDE! My milk just came in YESTERDAY!! She's only 4 days old!

GO YOU!!!! YAY!!!!!

**heartmyboyz** · 10-23-2009, 04:03 PM

Originally Posted by atenielle

I confess I think Julie needs to update her siggy with new pics of her gorgeous family!

ITA!!

Originally Posted by atenielle

oh! I was going to add this too -- I confess I nursed in public TWICE today! I was/am so proud of myself! and I stood up to the doctor about giving Charlene formula -- "Because she is loosing weight"

DUDE! My milk just came in YESTERDAY!! She's only 4 days old!

Leo lost weight the first couple of days too. Just keep nursing!! Go you

.

shutterbird · 10-23-2009, 04:18 PM

Kudos Ashley! Keep up the great work!

**sunrider** · 10-23-2009, 07:35 PM

Awesome Ashley - both for the NIP and the standing up to your pedi.

**sunrider** · 10-23-2009, 07:36 PM

Originally Posted by rhiannasmoms43

Why don't you modify your privacy settings on fb so that she doesn't have the full view of your profile? Then you can relax a bit more.

Can you do that for specific people though? I thought it was just by general groups Everyone, friends only, friends of friends, no one.

**AlishaAnew** · 10-23-2009, 09:30 PM

Originally Posted by sunrider

LOL, I would not have been offended if it HAD been directed at me. It's been the truth lately. I really feel like I'm not being myself. It's not really anyone's fault but my own.

Maybe you can 'accidentally' delete MIL?

**The10Eels** · 10-23-2009, 09:38 PM

OMG Alisha!! I LOVE the new siggy!!!

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