Secular Confessions

**elmobo-n-lexi** · 10-20-2009, 06:22 PM

Originally Posted by Kitty

No kidding!

I have actually thought about this before. My DH doesn't know about APA, so if I died I'd just be gone. And no one here know my personal info, so no one could contact me. Am I the only one that occasioanlly thinks about death?

Really?? My DH is VERY up to date on all my december girls and a lot of other ladies around here. You don't even realize how often he has to sit next to me and listen to me biotch and moan about certain people and issues! LOL. I think he might WISH he had no idea what APA is.

I think about death all the time. It's my worst fear and I sometimes have anxiety attacks just thinking about it. It freaks me out big time.

**elmobo-n-lexi** · 10-20-2009, 06:23 PM

Originally Posted by atenielle

Im not feeling too bad actually. I think it helps that I didn't have the stress of 43 hours of labor on top of the c/s. I kind of knew what to expect this time around..

and Charlie latched right away, and is a little booby fiend! We met with the LC today (who's name is also Charlene!) and she said she doesn't think we will have any problems!

Awesome!! That's great news and I hope she keeps it up!

**Ky'sMom** · 10-20-2009, 07:27 PM

Originally Posted by Kitty

No kidding!

I have actually thought about this before. My DH doesn't know about APA, so if I died I'd just be gone. And no one here know my personal info, so no one could contact me. Am I the only one that occasioanlly thinks about death?

I think about death often and have even thought of how I could die and no one would know here as well. I actually did tell DH about APA so if something happens he could post something under my name and say I'm dead or something.

Even though I think about death pretty often, at least a few times a month IMO is often, I am not afraid of it and am looking forward to dying. People think I'm morbid when I tell them this. I just say death is a part of life. The only thing that worries me now is dying before my kids are grown because I don't want them to suffer the despair and sadness of me dying at a young age as I think it may harm them psychologically. My dad and his 4 sisters lost both of their parents when they were young and my dad especially REALLY went downhill after the death of his mother and he was 17 when she died. I hope to live at least until Ellasyn is 30, Ky would be 37, because I think she'll be mature enough to really handle death and the grief associated with it, but of course, one never knows.

Erin

**Janeen** · 10-20-2009, 07:32 PM

I think about death. Random thoughts and sometimes I think about how I REALLY wish I could be a super brilliant medical genius that could figure out how to sustain human life so then...I would never have to face it!

**daylilies** · 10-20-2009, 08:06 PM

I think about how I'd let you guys know if I died...DH doesn't have my login info either. I don't think about death a lot, but sometimes it crosses my mind. I think about choices I'd have to make if someone in my family died, too.

**The10Eels** · 10-20-2009, 08:58 PM

I think about death quite often actually... and Im with those that are freaked out by it. (The final-ness of it anyways)

I've got phone numbers to quite a few of the APA ladies, and I think I have talked to DH about a few of them enough that he would contact one of them if anything ever happened to me...

We actually talked about my wishes, should anything have happened to me during my c-section. The hospital called to do all my pre-op questions on thursday and asked if I wanted to designate someone to make any medical decisions for me if I wasn't in the position to make them myself... After I hung up, I told DH about it and said "So, should I die during surgery -- Donate my body to science"

He thinks my mom would have a problem with that, so I have been trying to figure out a way to bring it up in conversation........

**elmobo-n-lexi** · 10-20-2009, 09:22 PM

I have it bookmarked to where I never have to login. It goes straight to my user cp and I can skip all that login crap. DH knows exactly where to go. haha.

And yes, the FINALITY of death scares the crap out of me. It's times like that, when i'm thinking about it that I wish I could believe in afterlife and God and Jesus and all that so I'll have atleast something happen to me after death. But since I believe it's death then nothing, it's kind of depressing.

**elmobo-n-lexi** · 10-20-2009, 09:24 PM

Originally Posted by atenielle

I think about death quite often actually... and Im with those that are freaked out by it. (The final-ness of it anyways)

I've got phone numbers to quite a few of the APA ladies, and I think I have talked to DH about a few of them enough that he would contact one of them if anything ever happened to me...

We actually talked about my wishes, should anything have happened to me during my c-section. The hospital called to do all my pre-op questions on thursday and asked if I wanted to designate someone to make any medical decisions for me if I wasn't in the position to make them myself... After I hung up, I told DH about it and said "So, should I die during surgery -- Donate my body to science"

He thinks my mom would have a problem with that, so I have been trying to figure out a way to bring it up in conversation........

The way my mom and I are, I know exactly what she wants. She doesn't want to be viewed after death and she wants to be cremated. We talk about it all the time. She refuses to talk about my death though, and won't even let me continue when I talk about what I want. So, I can understand your hesitation. My mom won't even approach the subject.

**girlwonder** · 10-20-2009, 09:25 PM

I do think about death a lot. My father died in a plane crash, so the idea that it could all end instantly is always with me.

I hate thinking about dying. Being dead doesn't scare me nearly as much as dying.

**elmobo-n-lexi** · 10-20-2009, 09:25 PM

Originally Posted by Ky'sMom

I think about death often and have even thought of how I could die and no one would know here as well. I actually did tell DH about APA so if something happens he could post something under my name and say I'm dead or something.

Even though I think about death pretty often, at least a few times a month IMO is often, I am not afraid of it and am looking forward to dying. People think I'm morbid when I tell them this. I just say death is a part of life. The only thing that worries me now is dying before my kids are grown because I don't want them to suffer the despair and sadness of me dying at a young age as I think it may harm them psychologically. My dad and his 4 sisters lost both of their parents when they were young and my dad especially REALLY went downhill after the death of his mother and he was 17 when she died. I hope to live at least until Ellasyn is 30, Ky would be 37, because I think she'll be mature enough to really handle death and the grief associated with it, but of course, one never knows.

Erin

Oh gosh, 30 is a good age. I can only hope that I live that long, to where my youngest is 30. Hopefully by then I'll have grandbabies and will be at peace to go. As long as I live old enough to see my kids graduate, get married, and have kids, I think I can die happy. I think.

**elmobo-n-lexi** · 10-20-2009, 09:26 PM

Originally Posted by katycat24

I do think about death a lot. My father died in a plane crash, so the idea that it could all end instantly is always with me.

I hate thinking about dying. Being dead doesn't scare me nearly as much as dying.

Oh geez, i'm sorry! That's horrible. I hope to die in my sleep, if possible. My biggest death fears are fire and drowning. I'd really really hate to go out in either of those ways.

**3andMe** · 10-20-2009, 10:06 PM

DH and I had living wills/advanced health care directives officially done last year, when we met with a lawyer to arrange care for the babies in the event of our deaths. I don't think any of my family would have a problem with my final wishes as far as my body is concerned, or with being taken off life support, but I know there would be some squabbles about the children. My sister and my MIL straight-out asked me who was getting them, and strangely enough my sister tried to argue with our choice of my mom, even though she's the obvious best choice. I can't believe my sister thought she might be appointed guardian.

**The10Eels** · 10-21-2009, 03:39 AM

I confess I have the worlds biggest b!@tch for a nurse tonight!!

I fell asleep nursing Charlie, and she came in, and took Charlie from me and said "ugh.Sleeping with the baby!? You can't do that!"

**daylilies** · 10-21-2009, 05:48 AM

I'm sorry Ashley. I had some nurse b!tches too.

**elmobo-n-lexi** · 10-21-2009, 06:46 AM

Originally Posted by atenielle

I confess I have the worlds biggest b!@tch for a nurse tonight!!

I fell asleep nursing Charlie, and she came in, and took Charlie from me and said "ugh.Sleeping with the baby!? You can't do that!"

That happened to me! I fell asleep with Alexis in my arms, and she nursed off and on all night. In the middle of the night the nurse came in and said "I can't believe you didn't call us to come get her so you could get some rest" (in the bi*chiest way possible, I might add) I said "I didn't want you to come get her. She needs to eat when she needs to eat" and she got all pi$$y with me and stormed out. The next day I got "a talking to" by the same nurse who said they don't like when people sleep with the babies. I said "Tooooooooooo freakin bad for you then, huh???" Like I'm just going to listen to what they thought just because they're nurses? HA! Right!

**3andMe** · 10-21-2009, 07:45 AM

Wow. With my first baby, the nurse encouraged me to co-sleep with her in the hospital. She was an Earth-mother type. Even if the hospital doesn't allow it (which is most likely the case), the nurse could be gentler about it. It is so easy to fall asleep nursing a baby.

**daylilies** · 10-21-2009, 07:55 AM

Oh yeah, it could just be a safety thing. I remember when I was in the hospital I couldn't hold Josh in my arms when I walked up and down the hall. I had to wheel him with me. I remember being kind of offended like they thought I was going to drop him. But it's just a safety thing. Still I agree she could have been nicer!

**Luna** · 10-21-2009, 09:18 AM

Heh. Noone said anything to me about Madi sleeping with me. I think I'd gotten a little bit of a reputation for being "earthy"or something . . .they knew I'd had a doula . . all the nurses couldn't believe I hadn't gotten an epidural. *shrug*
I'm sorry some of you were yelled at for that. You'd think they could be nicer about it.
Although, one of my best friends was feeding (I think bottle feeding?) her LO and she fell asleep and dropped him when he was 3 weeks old.

He cracked his skull, but is OK. She had to go through all kinds of hell with SRS . . .

**AlishaAnew** · 10-21-2009, 09:47 AM

Originally Posted by atenielle

I confess I have the worlds biggest b!@tch for a nurse tonight!!

I fell asleep nursing Charlie, and she came in, and took Charlie from me and said "ugh.Sleeping with the baby!? You can't do that!"

her!
I had one nurse say that to me. In my hospital they don't really do a nursery they let baby stay in the room with you the whole time. Well I was nursing her and I had like zero sleep and I nodded off and one nurse came in and got onto me about it

"What if you had dropped her??"

Another day I did it again and a different nurse came in and she put a pillow under my arm and by a guardrail to keep me from accidentally dropping her and getting us both more comfy

She was I guess earthy too cause she had no problem with me doing it.

**The10Eels** · 10-21-2009, 10:14 AM

Yeah.. I thought it was funny, cause not even 2 minutes after she took Charlie and put her in the bassinett, she was awake and crying - therefor back in my arms.

I had her in the boppy, with the guardrails up.. so even if I HAD dropped her.. she would have dropped a whole 2 inches.. onto more pillows. lol

I confess -- Pictures! http://www.americanpregnancy.org/for...post1056718691

**elmobo-n-lexi** · 10-21-2009, 10:30 AM

I love the mohawk pics!

I think i'm biased though, because that's how both my girls looked for the first 3-4 months of their lives. The nurses brought both my babies to me after their first baths with mohawks. She looks just like you!

**AmeriBrit** · 10-21-2009, 10:37 AM

Aw, Ash, what cute pics! She's adorable! I don't think I've said congrats yet!

**AlishaAnew** · 10-21-2009, 10:52 AM

Originally Posted by atenielle

Yeah.. I thought it was funny, cause not even 2 minutes after she took Charlie and put her in the bassinett, she was awake and crying - therefor back in my arms.

I had her in the boppy, with the guardrails up.. so even if I HAD dropped her.. she would have dropped a whole 2 inches.. onto more pillows. lol

I confess -- Pictures! http://www.americanpregnancy.org/for...post1056718691

**sunrider** · 10-21-2009, 12:00 PM

I confess I feel so behind!!

I think the baby sleeping in hospital bed issue must differ by hospital, too. Flutterbudget got yelled at daily for it and I was expecting it. But I had several nurses walk in on me after I'd fallen asleep nursing and they either tucked another pillow in and put the guardrail up, or just quietly backed out of the room and came back later. Those are some powerful hormones that make ya sleep while a baby's sucking away.

I have thought about death but lately feel like I'm too busy and too tired to, LOL. We don't have a will or directive and I know we should, especially now that we have a baby. We know who we'd like Liam to go to, but don't have it in writing anywhere.

I have my APA set up for autologin, but . . . since Tred has his own login and knows where you all hang out, I think we're good there.

**sunrider** · 10-21-2009, 12:18 PM

I confess I asked Tred last night how he felt about me coming out of the A closet with his family. He asked when we were moving to Siberia

. I told him how I've really been feeling fed up with hiding part of who I am. I'm finally comfortable in my skin and know who I am, and yet Im not myself on Facebook or even in my own frelling blog - and it is 100% because of his immediate family. He understands that feeling, and is not himself around his own family either. His #1 concern is that if MIL knows The Truth, then the preaching will really start with a vengeance. They gave up on the " you should go to church" pushing years ago, but he feels if they KNOW I'm not a god-junkie then they'll crank up the savings.

Part of me feels that maybe that won't happen since we just celebrated our 7 year anniversary Monday, we've been together almost 10 years, and I honestly feel MIL considers me a daughter and not a DIL (she tells me so often and I believe she means it). I want to believe that she knows me enough that she'll listen to me and won't decide I just need "convincing".

I created a Facebook poll question about being yourself on there, or censoring what you say. She and SIL were 2 of the people I sent it too. Something happened when she tried to answer it and she actually asked me for the link again cause she felt it was important to answer. I'm sure she's going to say she's 100% herself. I'm sort of hoping the poll will open a tiny door for conversation.

If you guys want to take the poll too, I'm really curious what the general Fb population does.

**elmobo-n-lexi** · 10-21-2009, 12:26 PM

Originally Posted by sunrider

I confess I asked Tred last night how he felt about me coming out of the A closet with his family. He asked when we were moving to Siberia

. I told him how I've really been feeling fed up with hiding part of who I am. I'm finally comfortable in my skin and know who I am, and yet Im not myself on Facebook or even in my own frelling blog - and it is 100% because of his immediate family. He understands that feeling, and is not himself around his own family either. His #1 concern is that if MIL knows The Truth, then the preaching will really start with a vengeance. They gave up on the " you should go to church" pushing years ago, but he feels if they KNOW I'm not a god-junkie then they'll crank up the savings.

Part of me feels that maybe that won't happen since we just celebrated our 7 year anniversary Monday, we've been together almost 10 years, and I honestly feel MIL considers me a daughter and not a DIL (she tells me so often and I believe she means it). I want to believe that she knows me enough that she'll listen to me and won't decide I just need "convincing".

I created a Facebook poll question about being yourself on there, or censoring what you say. She and SIL were 2 of the people I sent it too. Something happened when she tried to answer it and she actually asked me for the link again cause she felt it was important to answer. I'm sure she's going to say she's 100% herself. I'm sort of hoping the poll will open a tiny door for conversation.

If you guys want to take the poll too, I'm really curious what the general Fb population does.

I took that poll also. I picked the "I censor myself" option. I definitely censor myself. Mainly for my Dec. 08 girls. There are SOOO many of them who are die hard christians and I just can't bring myself to say what I want to say about our president or religion.

**AmeriBrit** · 10-21-2009, 01:12 PM

Just a random post from me. At work on Monday, I heard a guy who sits a few desks away from me say, "We atheists have to stick together...there's enough of us in this country." It made me smile.

**AlishaAnew** · 10-21-2009, 01:15 PM

Originally Posted by silverstar

Just a random post from me. At work on Monday, I heard a guy who sits a few desks away from me say, "We atheists have to stick together...there's enough of us in this country." It made me smile.

**AlishaAnew** · 10-21-2009, 01:16 PM

I read a church sign the other day, it read:

No god- no peace
Know god- know peace.

Discuss........

**elmobo-n-lexi** · 10-21-2009, 01:22 PM

Originally Posted by AlishaAnew

I read a church sign the other day, it read:

No god- no peace
Know god- know peace.

Discuss........

ummmmmm I have no words! LOL. I read a church sign one day that said "the family that prays together stays together".
UMMMMMMM NOT!!! hahahah we never prayed ONCE in my family growing up and my parents are going on 30 years of marriage. Meanwhile, my best friend from grade school's parents were SUPER DUPER churchy, prayed for every meal, blah blah. Then when I was 12 we found out her dad had cheated on her mom for years and they got divorced 8 years into their marriage. UMMMMM yeah! LOL

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