I'm really sorry to hear that Cass. I feel like that most of the time too.
So sorry to hear you are unhappy. I know how it feels too. The only thing that worked for me was to tell myself to stop being unhappy. As corny as it sounds, it worked. I gave myself a specific amount of time to be unhappy or depressed, this past time I actually gave myself 6 months because I had a lot of things I was angry about, which made me unhappy. During that time I kept thinking of how grateful I should be I have healthy kids, arms, legs, a brain that works (most of the time) and after thinking these thoughts daily, like every hour, I started to feel better. I also started doing more things with the kids and for myself and of course that helps, oh and stop thinking about what other people think or want from me that I can't or don't want to give (mostly DH) it lifted a fog from my life and I still try to think of all the things I'm grateful for when I feel down in the dumps.
I hope you start feeling better soon.
And Lydia!! That riot sounds soooo scary! So happy you are okay.
I was really disappointed that the Week by Week people didn't write a book for baby's second year, so I headed to Barnes and Noble, gathered about 6 toddler books around me and started to skim through them. I ended up buying 2.
The Girlfriends Guide to Toddlers (A Survival Manual to the Terrible Two's (and Ones and Threes) From the First Step, the First Potty and the First Word (No) to the Last Blankie
What to Expect: The Toddler Years
I didn't like the What to Expect When You're Expecting book, and didn't even look at the one for the first year. But it was seriously the best one I looked at for toddlers. I'm still reading in the 13th month, but I like the way its set up and organized. I bought the Girlfriends guide cause I like her writing style and she makes me laugh.
Whenever I read a parenting/child development book, I just take the parts that I find useful and modify them to suit my situation. There will never be one book that tells you just what to do with your child, you know?
I confess that I just got home from an awesome evening out with Jimi. We splurged on a one hundred dollar dinner at a nice steakhouse, went and saw Couples Retreat which was funny and then I got to spend 200 dollars on clothes. I bought two bras, panties, three pairs of slacks, three blouses and even a really nice coat.
Happy anniversary to us even though it isn't until the 21st! lol
I confess that tomorrow is Jimi's birthday so the dinner was partly for that too.
Tomorrow night we are going to the karaoke bar we used to frequent to celebrate his birthday with our friends.
Last edited by Janeen; 10-16-2009 at 11:36 PM.
One thing that really helps with tantrums around here, especially with Kai, is just repeating back to him what he's trying to express. That may have even come from Happiest Toddler on the Block. I don't do the toddler-ease but I just say to him, "You are so mad that mommy won't let you play with her lotion. I know that is so hard when you want something you can't have..."
Unfortunately, I don't think there is anything we can do to stop tantrums all together. It is just part of their way of figuring things out and trying to balance the desire for independence with the inability to actually do things for themselves and make their own choices. (Although my MIL will tell you that her other grandchild NEVER threw tantrums. He was just the perfect child )
Is he still saying he doesn't like you and that stuff? Kai is. All the time with the, "I don't like you. You are so so mean." It is totally enough to make me want to cry and lose my mind. But I have started to just calmly say to him, right after he tells me he doesn't like me, "You don't like it when I *insert whatever horrible thing I'm doing to him*
Now it's just like, I'll say yes we'll go to Chuck E Cheese later and he'll scream and say not later! I want to go now! (and it's 7 a.m....LOL) Even when I'm giving him something he usually wants, he just wants something different, or sooner, or whatever. I fix us the same thing to eat and he doesn't want it. I fix us different things and he wants some of mine. I can't do anything right by him. If I weren't sure it was rotting his brain, he'd sit in front of the tv all day and be happy.
Oh and I'll ask him 'what are you doing' and he'll say "I'm just fine" but he won't say *what* he is doing. Or I'll ask him not to do something in particular and he'll smile and say "Oh I'm just fine"
I'm sure it has to do with some issues I have with people just not believing what I say or giving me any credit (DH does this too, he thinks nothing I say is right until he discovers for himself that it's true)
Last edited by daylilies; 10-17-2009 at 07:54 AM.
If you figure out a cure for never wanting to eat the thing he asks for once it's actually in front of him, let me know. This whole short order cook thing is not working out too well in our house, and I'm getting really tired of wasting food.
Oh another thing I don't understand is the inability to listen! I had just finished saying to Josh the other day that if he didn't throw things and if he listened to me we could go to Chuck E Cheese. The words had barely left my mouth when he chucked something at me. We didn't go to Chuck's that day but he didn't seem to care, after the initial crying for about 5 seconds before something else distracted him.
I confess yesterday a friend of mine was complaining about how she had been up with her 4 year old at 3:00 and just got her back to bed when her 2 year old woke up at 4:00. And then she had to go in to work.
I told DH about that, saying I was not looking forward to that when we had kids, and he said, "That's okay ... I like to get up early. So when we have kids, I'll deal with them early if you will deal with them late."
I'll believe it when I see it, but still .
I'm still trying to catch up on this thread! LOL. We ordered a new laptop as our old one died right before we left for vacation 2 weeks ago. I'm using the old PC upstairs that is mega slow, so that's why I've not caught up with everyone.
Bean, I'm sorry you aren't feeling great. I hope you can find a way to feel better. Have you told your husband how you are feeling?
Lydia, that sounds scary what happened to you and I'm glad you're OK! Your story reminded me of when DH and I were in Paris and we watched a massive student protest from our hotel window...that was one of the scariest things I've seen in person!
I confess that I have now lost 130 pounds!! Here is a pic taken today!!
30 more pounds to go!!!
Dayum, Jenny! You do look like a totally different person. Look how slim your legs are!
You look great, Jenny!