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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #5071

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    LOL I think we are the only ones here too!
    Your gourds pic was interesting, but I kept looking for something hidden in it. Love your new sig too!

  2. #5072

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    I have been around a lot today...it's just been a boring day and Josh has been entertaining himself so I am taking advantage of it...but sometimes I wonder if anyone thinks "Doesn't she have a kid to take care of?" LOL

  3. #5073

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Yeah, you're right. I keep wanting the big things to happen to me, I want major excitement, that I think I'm not letting the little things mean what they should.
    I felt so much like you describe my last few months in Hawaii. I often wonder if I was depressed although I'm not sure that depression can really be soley situational. Can it? I just missed my family and felt really, really alone. Every day seemed like an eternity and I tried to fill it with activitieis to just make time move. I couldn't wait to go to bed at night. My poor kids. I always think about how much that must have sucked for Savana to see her mommy cry every day.
    I hope your therapist can help you explore other options. I hope you can find things in your life to look forward to. You could always plan a trip to Wisconsin.

  4. #5074

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    I don't know. I feel like my depression is situational or really uncannily in tune with the events in my life. It seems to be triggered by events. I mean I could have been totally depressed during the whole new kids tour and decided not to go, not to take the risk to meet new people, not to actually meet the new kids...right? But I was all for it! Then I was pretty happy until my husband confessed he was pretty much miserable with how things were going with us, and that made everything come crashing down. I take my cues from other people a lot. If they seem happy, I'm happy. I dunno. I don't wish this kind of sadness on anyone Bridget and although it makes me feel less alone, I feel sad that you've felt this way too. And I hate crying in front of Josh, too. I keep thinking he's going to be forming lifelong memories soon (if not already) so I better shape up quick.

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    LOL I think we are the only ones here too!
    Your gourds pic was interesting, but I kept looking for something hidden in it. Love your new sig too!
    I kept looking for something hidden in it too..

    I confess I just noticed Lydia is no longer a "Recovering APA Addict". -- That used to make me giggle everytime I saw it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    LOL I think we are the only ones here too!
    Your gourds pic was interesting, but I kept looking for something hidden in it. Love your new sig too!
    I kept looking for something hidden in it too..

    I confess I just noticed Lydia is no longer a "Recovering APA Addict". -- That used to make me giggle everytime I saw it.

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    .

  8. #5078
    shutterbird Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I don't know. I feel like my depression is situational or really uncannily in tune with the events in my life. It seems to be triggered by events.
    Same here. Something can happen and turn into a tail-spin for me. It's really disheartening. The woman who stole my idea a few months back totally took the wind out of my sails and I've been kinda bouncing off the bottom ever since, though I am getting better since I found another outlet.

    So for me, my depression is situational most of the time, too.

    Oh and i just want to give you big big hugs! You're amazing for opening up!

  9. #5079

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    Quote Originally Posted by shutterbird View Post
    Same here. Something can happen and turn into a tail-spin for me. It's really disheartening. The woman who stole my idea a few months back totally took the wind out of my sails and I've been kinda bouncing off the bottom ever since, though I am getting better since I found another outlet.

    So for me, my depression is situational most of the time, too.

    Oh and i just want to give you big big hugs! You're amazing for opening up!
    Oh, thanks. I always worry someone I know is going to find this, but I mean even if that did happen, so what? I don't know that many people anyway. LOL
    Whatever happened with the lady who took your idea--and what is your new outlet?

  10. #5080

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    I confess that I'm starting to feel like a personal assistant to a one year old.
    His mom is ond day like, "Oh, could you trim his nails?" and the next "Can you give him something to eat about 15 minutes minutes before I pick him up because I'm meeting a friend after?"

  11. #5081
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    Kate.

    Just recently I woke up and realized I wasn't depressed anymore. For about a year I was really, really bad ... and although I knew I wasn't right, I didn't realize how NOT right I was until I got through it and looked back on it. Does that make any sense? But looking back on it now scares me. At the time I thought it was just the situation, but it wasn't. I wasn't okay.

    Now I wonder if I shouldn't be in therapy, just so I can help prevent that from happening again. But then I tell myself I don't need to go if I'm feeling okay, so I don't want to. I was on meds once about 12/13 years ago but didn't find therapy helpful at that time.

    And I totally second-guess myself constantly. Constantly. I keep myself awake at night over stupid things, and I hate it. I wish I could let go, too.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  12. #5082

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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    I confess that I'm starting to feel like a personal assistant to a one year old.
    His mom is ond day like, "Oh, could you trim his nails?" and the next "Can you give him something to eat about 15 minutes minutes before I pick him up because I'm meeting a friend after?"
    I wouldn't do stuff like that! Do you? I mean it takes what 5 minutes to do a kid's nails?
    Quote Originally Posted by gwennero View Post
    Kate.

    Just recently I woke up and realized I wasn't depressed anymore. For about a year I was really, really bad ... and although I knew I wasn't right, I didn't realize how NOT right I was until I got through it and looked back on it. Does that make any sense? But looking back on it now scares me. At the time I thought it was just the situation, but it wasn't. I wasn't okay.

    Now I wonder if I shouldn't be in therapy, just so I can help prevent that from happening again. But then I tell myself I don't need to go if I'm feeling okay, so I don't want to. I was on meds once about 12/13 years ago but didn't find therapy helpful at that time.

    And I totally second-guess myself constantly. Constantly. I keep myself awake at night over stupid things, and I hate it. I wish I could let go, too.
    It always scares me too, when I look back at the depressed cycles.

  13. #5083
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    I confess that for the better half of the day I have been thinking about coming home and sending porn links to Jimi at his work.
    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  14. #5084
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    I don't know if this site has already been posted, but I just heard on the news that they're collecting signatures to ban divorce in California. http://rescuemarriage.org/ says it will help protect marriage, just like Proposition 8 did.


  15. #5085

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    Oh for heaven's sake! So now we're supposed to stay in a bad marriage just to preserve the sanctity of marriage?

  16. #5086

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    Quote Originally Posted by gwennero View Post
    Kate.

    Just recently I woke up and realized I wasn't depressed anymore. For about a year I was really, really bad ... and although I knew I wasn't right, I didn't realize how NOT right I was until I got through it and looked back on it. Does that make any sense? But looking back on it now scares me. At the time I thought it was just the situation, but it wasn't. I wasn't okay.

    Now I wonder if I shouldn't be in therapy, just so I can help prevent that from happening again. But then I tell myself I don't need to go if I'm feeling okay, so I don't want to. I was on meds once about 12/13 years ago but didn't find therapy helpful at that time.

    And I totally second-guess myself constantly. Constantly. I keep myself awake at night over stupid things, and I hate it. I wish I could let go, too.
    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    It always scares me too, when I look back at the depressed cycles.
    The second guessing is awful. I do it too. ALL the time. Like I'm obsessing tonight over something really random/petty that happened today and can't get over it.

    Depression sucks. I am taking Lexapro. . .again. . .because I tried to go off it in June and about had a breakdown. It was awful. THe decision was made to go back on it, and while I hate the numb feeling I get sometimes, I am better off because of it.

    I just wonder what I do if I DO get pregnant as I don't think it's developing-baby-friendly.
    Kate, mama to Madi (4/18/08) and Jacob (10/8/10)


  17. #5087

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    I'm sorry for anyone who feels that bad right now. I have definitely had my bad times. Medication helps, as does therapy, and unfortunately, time is the main thing. I just had to live through it (several times). I'm sorry, Kate, that your dh is not supportive of that - it would make it so much harder to feel like you were bad for even reaching out for a helping hand.

    I'm with Lydia - the high highs are not worth the low lows for me. I'll take my middle of the road contentment any day over the soap operas I used to inhabit.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  18. #5088

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    Quote Originally Posted by Luna View Post
    I just wonder what I do if I DO get pregnant as I don't think it's developing-baby-friendly.
    I was on Serzone and was off of it for one month only before I got pg. I was worried about it, since I had been taking it for four years and knew it was going to be a lifelong thing for me. But it was contraindicated (is that the right term?) for pg, so I went off. I have been surprisingly okay and haven't needed to get back on. I know everyone is different, but I just wanted you to know that it can be okay.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  19. #5089
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Kitty, we got the leftovers of your typhoon here yesterday. It rained up to 9" and caused trucks to blow over, bridge closures, and mandatory evacuations in some areas due to fear of mudslides. It was a crazy, crazy day.


  20. #5090
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    I confess that I get messages from Jimi that are similar to this on a daily basis...

    I’m very excited to be the father of your child.
    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  21. #5091

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    Quote Originally Posted by Janeen View Post
    I confess that I get messages from Jimi that are similar to this on a daily basis...



    Awww....

  22. #5092

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lydia View Post
    I confess I wrote an email at work to someone named Yelena, forgetting that there were five Yelenas at that office and of course I got the wrong one. I feel so sloppy and unprofessional! D'oh! I have to keep forcing my mind to turn away from it because I ruminate on it at every moment of leisure, like when I'm trying to fall asleep or when I wake up in the middle of the night. This abhorrence of anything less than perfection makes me really good at my job, but I don't like that I can't just let go of stupid mistakes I make.
    Aw, don't beat yourself up about it Lydia. It happens. And wow, 5 Yelenas!!

    I work at a university that's part of a 5 campus system. Thousands of employees in one Outlook system. The following happens on a semi-regular basis.

    My email gets routed to someone across campus in another dept because people think my email is "lastnamek" instead of "lastnamekri". So Kathryn gets the email for me, Krista.

    And to balance this out, I get email for "lastnameca" who works at a completely different campus. His name is Christopher A xxx, hence the ca, but he goes by Kris and that's how he's listed in Outlook.
    He gets some really strange emails as he works at a residence hall on that campus. I get emails about kids locking themselves out of their dorm room and needing another key, hating roommates and wanting to change dorm rooms, etc, but my FAVORITE went something like:
    I was moved from the 5th floor to the 2nd floor this summer and I'd really like to move back. My ficus was so much happier on the 5th floor.
    Krista & Jonathan: Liam, our one and only, born 9 Sep 2008



  23. #5093

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    6[/B] pounds down 34 more to go!

  24. #5094

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    Quote Originally Posted by AlishaAnew View Post

    Ashley - 25, Chris - 27, Elizabeth - 9-22-04, Alexis - 12-19-08

  25. #5095
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    I confess AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

    Whew. Just had to get that out.

  26. #5096

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lydia View Post
    Kitty, we got the leftovers of your typhoon here yesterday. It rained up to 9" and caused trucks to blow over, bridge closures, and mandatory evacuations in some areas due to fear of mudslides. It was a crazy, crazy day.
    Wow! I'm surprised it made it that far because it was not as bad here as expected. The trains were shut down because of wind, but it didn't really even rain that much. It was an oddly unsatisfying storm. Hope you all were OK!
    "Reserving judgments is a matter of infinite hope." F. Scott Fitzgerald

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bean View Post
    I confess AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

    Whew. Just had to get that out.
    same here!!

  28. #5098

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    I confess that Savana has started to say, "Oh my God". I don't know how I feel about it. I think it will bother my mom.

  29. #5099
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bean View Post
    I confess AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

    Whew. Just had to get that out.
    I'm not sure what you're going through with your dh and the letter, but I feel your agony. Every time in the past when I've felt the need to write a letter, it's been a pretty difficult situation--including whatever led up to the letter as well as the aftermath.


  30. #5100

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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    I confess that Savana has started to say, "Oh my God". I don't know how I feel about it. I think it will bother my mom.
    Josh says that, as well as some more colorful language...I have spoken many times with DH about toning down the language, but I know my inlaws have potty mouths too and I know it's hard to break that habit...

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