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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #44371
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    FWIW, Mira went to bed at 11 too (she's still sleeping; school's closed). I used to try and get her to bed at whatever was supposed to be a good hour, but don't do much of that any more. On days when she naps, we go up around 8:30, but she doesn't usually fall asleep until 10, and mostly, what I do is to sleep next to her, because I'm generally exhausted by then. I think I fell asleep last night, before she did. Haven't been feeling that great lately, my dizzy spells are back, and I almost crashed when I got up on Sunday morning.

  2. #44372

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    Josh has had the same bedtime for as long as I can remember. We're done with the whole routine by 8:00 and then he can play with whatever's in his room but I hear him running around until 9:30 or so sometimes. And the questions, and comments, and "can you find my book that nobody has seen in 3 weeks" and "remind me to do such and such tomorrow" still goes on. I tell him, now that he can write, he should write some of this stuff down, but he still prefers to tell me. LOL. It's better than the screaming fits at bedtime that we used to get, and sometimes still do, if something doesn't go exactly his way.

  3. #44373

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    Haha! I will hear Kai pitter patterning up the stairs and through the kitchen and then he either tells me Savana is being mean, his water bottle has a tiny disgusting taste to it like it's not quite clean (even though I just scrubbed it head to toe and rinsed with scalding hot water) OR, he begins a tale. "Um...Mom? Today. When I was..." We know he is going into story mode when he starts pacing.
    But yes, I couldn't agree more, the chatterbox is preferable to the irrational melting child. Although that still happens on occasion too.

  4. #44374
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    S. was up at 5 AM today after being awake off and on all night yelling about this and that. His sleep has never improved since it took that downturn at 8 months. It was a miserable day. I asked him for just two things-please no screaming at me, and try to listen.

    He screamed, he hit me, he unbuckled his seat belt while I was driving, he threw things at me while I was driving, he gave me "huggy hugs," he said he'd always protect me and keep me safe, he wrote his name for the first time, he had to be forcibly put into his car seat more than once, he helped me pump gas, he had a great time riding his scooter around an empty parking lot and digging in gopher holes, he wouldn't walk when I told him it was time to leave because he ran away, and screamed and hit me some more.

    It's way past my bedtime, but I have been relishing the quiet time and have not been able to bring myself to go to bed. I should.

    He did fall asleep right when I was supposed to pick the twins up from school. First nap in probably a year. A friend's dad brought them out to the car for me. It's good to have connections.


  5. #44375

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    If it were me I'd think my son was turning into a monster, but from this side, it just looks like he's going through some major developmental thing. Remember when our kids were babies and if they were all of a sudden super cranky, we'd say "Must be a growth spurt" or "he's about to learn something new"? I have to remind myself that those things still happen.
    Still, that doesn't make it any easier to deal with and I'm sorry because I can completely relate to the emotional roller coaster. How old is he now?

  6. #44376
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    3 1/2.


  7. #44377

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    Noe goes to bed around 7:30, to sleep around 8. She wakes once or twice during the night and then is up for the day between 6 and 7 (closer to 6, usually). No naps, so it's good that she sleeps ok at night. She woke up very frequently at night until about age 3, and she still spends the last half of every night in bed with us, but we all get decent sleep so it's worth it.

    DD1 was a terrible sleeper from age 2.5 on, I know I've shared before. Horrible nightmares and night terrors - hours of uncontrollable screaming. It was stressful and exhausting. I worried a lot about her and consulted all kinds of therapists and child psychologists and neuropsychologists and developmental pedis. She also had extreme separation anxiety and hours-long meltdowns. I had one Kaiser child psych tell me that I should put her on antidepressants and antipsychotics now because she was only going to get worse and she'd never be normal. She was 6. I said no. She grew out of all of the behaviors - the night terrors, awful sleeping, meltdowns, separation anxiety - by about age 8. She is now a happy, mellow and sensible teen, She sleeps fine. She has some social anxiety and is a bit of a worrier, but that's common in our family. She is creative and introverted, but very well-adjusted. I shudder to think what she'd be like had I taken the advice of the specialists, and medicated her. I'd never say her childhood was easy, but she's a normal person. Not psychotic, not mentally ill, not even difficult or temperamental. I offer this to all of the moms here of kids with challenging behaviors. There are times I doubted if things would ever get better, and I had no idea what to do. It got better.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  8. #44378
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    Oh, man, Gretchen. What a story. Thanks for sharing that. Your daughter is such an amazing young lady.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  9. #44379

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    Thanks! She is a cool kid, and pretty easy as far as teens go. Which makes me wonder sometimes if Noe, who has been a pretty easy kid, will make me crazy as a teen.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  10. #44380

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    Stories like that give me hope, but at the same time, I want to enjoy this part of Josh's life, not just look forward to when he's a teenager! LOL.

  11. #44381
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    Kate, to ask an odd question ... Is there supposed to be a picture of a woman in a bikini in your signature? Or has your account been hacked? I wouldn't have asked, but I don't recognize her from any of your other pics. Unless somehow it's actually you and I don't recognize you, in which case, please accept my embarrassed apologies!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  12. #44382
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    I don't see that in Kate's picture.....I see Josh with a tree

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  13. #44383
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Kate, to ask an odd question ... Is there supposed to be a picture of a woman in a bikini in your signature? Or has your account been hacked? I wouldn't have asked, but I don't recognize her from any of your other pics. Unless somehow it's actually you and I don't recognize you, in which case, please accept my embarrassed apologies!
    I saw that too! But not anymore.

  14. #44384
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    Okay, now I see Josh with a tree again, too. But trust me, a couple of hours ago there was a black and white photo of some random woman in a bikini. I think photobucket has gone haywire.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  15. #44385

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    Uh....weird.
    You'll be hard pressed to dig up a pic of me in a bikini.

  16. #44386
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    Should tell you guys about this. Had a call scheduled with the accountant in Thailand last night. Wouldn't go through, saying that the number I'm calling is unassigned. I Skyped our manager in Thailand, and told him, and he tells me that things are really messed up, conditions are bad, etc. Why? "Coup. It must be that time of the year". I had to laugh. Although I had heard of what was happening, I hadn't realized that it had gotten bad.

  17. #44387

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    The time of year for a coup? Like monsoon season? Wow!

    I confess that I am ready to have the house to myself again. My MIL has been visiting for two weeks. She was supposed to be here for two weekends and visiting other places in between, but her plans fell through, so she's been here the whole time. She is a very sweet lady and very low-key, but she talks a lot in this sort of vague rambling way and we have had to spend every single day together all day, so as an introvert, I am about at the end of my hospitable feeling. And of course dh has been working long hours so he's rarely around - it's just me, her and the kids. And Noe's had a cold, and so has dh, and MIL has been sleeping in Noe's room so Noe's been sleeping in our bed full-time. I'm just not used to having to plan for company all the time, I guess, and I feel kind of worn out even though she's very nice. I keep coming up with various errands I need to leave the house for, and then I feel bad leaving her alone. And even though she's nice and generally not critical, there's still that bit of self-consciousness that she's watching what I do all day long, the way I keep house, what I cook, how I parent, etc. Does she think Noe's watching too much tv/eating too many snacks? When she said "Oh, is this where you keep the placemats?" did she mean, "this is a dumb place to keep your placemats"?
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  18. #44388

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    Aw, man. I know that what you mean. I start to feel like I'm slowly backing into a cave when I have guests for an extended amount of time. All the things you said, including the introvert part. I have a good amount of energy but not that sort of energy, the kind it takes to entertain. Seriously, 2 weeks is a really long time.

  19. #44389

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    Yeah. The "active listening" is what gets to me, all day. She goes on these rambling stories that divert onto a bunch of unrelated topics and I have to keep nodding and replying appropriately. And she talks to me while I'm reading or eating, which is generally my time to get a little peace from the kids. Also, she has a special-needs cat who's also been staying with us. Her cat doesn't like our cats so we have to keep them separated, and she's always scrounging people food and then puking (she has digestive issues). We thought she was going to die the other night* -she was nearly comatose on the sofa- but she bounced back.

    *The cat, not my MIL.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  20. #44390
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    Gretchen, as an introvert, my heart goes out to you. I'm sure she isn't judging but I understand the feeling of disliking being watched. I feel the same way.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  21. #44391
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    I love having company but even I am like ok time to go home after 5 days. I'm used to having a few hours a night all to myself while DH sleeps before work. Like right now.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  22. #44392

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    I've never had company for more than a couple days. I'm sorry Gretchen How much longer is she staying?

  23. #44393

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    Wednesday, so just a couple more nights. I'm really glad to get some commiseration from you guys. I've been feeling guilty that I'm ready for her to leave, when she's a perfectly nice person. Inge is very introverted too, and although she loves the MIL, she's been just staying mostly in her room the last couple of days. She too is ready to not have someone else around for a while. I guess we just find it a strain. Noe, however, has been on cloud nine. The more the merrier, for that girl. She's such an oddity in our house where the rest of us are so unsociable.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  24. #44394
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    Yup we all agree that having company is HARD. My parents I love but am good with two nights with them. I just feel like we have to do stuff when they are here. And now that my guest room has been turned into a nursery, I have to put them in my room.
    My MIL is easier, she feels very at home in our house and I don't have to entertain her. But still after about 5 days I'm ready for her to go home. Mostly it's because she plants her stuff and laptop at MY spot at the kitchen counter. I think it would be ok if she were living with us but could keep her junk in her spaces downstairs.

    so much is me needing to chill out. I like dishes washed a certain way, the dishwasher loaded a certain way, cooking to be done a certain way. So while it's nice to have help it is not easy for me to chill out and not be so picky.
    Plus when company is here I have to close the bathroom door...which I mostly don't as DH is either sleeping or across the house....and wear proper pjs in case I need to get up for the dogs or to use the bathroom.

    Only one more day!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  25. #44395
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    Quote Originally Posted by pepperlru View Post
    *The cat, not my MIL.
    Hah!

    Totally understand your feelings, except for the insecurity about placemat placings. At least you have placemats.

    I'm so incredibly literal it wouldn't even occur to me to look for subtext in questions like that.


  26. #44396

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    I was going to say the same thing-at least you have placemats!
    Josh is very different from us, too. It makes you wonder where exactly they get their personality from!

  27. #44397
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    This is way TMI. But, I'm feeling so, so, cold. And sick. Feeling so cold I'm deciding to not pee until I absolutely have to, just anticipating my behind getting cold. Brrrrr....

  28. #44398

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    Aw, Suja. I hope you feel better soon. Too bad you don't have a squishy toilet seat like my grandma had. Always warm. Yet, porous, which doesn't seem like a fair trade when it comes to toilet comfort.

  29. #44399
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    I just heard this morning on NPR that some warm milk with a little turmeric, a little honey, and a little black pepper (stabilizes curcumerin) is supposed to be good for warding off viruses. To bad I didn't hear this a few days ago. Fortified with some hot mint tea. Off to get the munchkin.

  30. #44400
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    Sit on it for a minute with your clothes on to warm up the seat. And wear a baggy enough top that it helps expose the rear a little bit more so you get less drafty.

    Our bathrooms are on the colder side of the house so I can relate. Better than being a dog though and going outside in this awful cold! I am shocked Cosmo still wants to go out and just doesn't use the litter box.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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