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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #43891

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    Yes, Jennifer, I want pics, too! So exciting. But what's with your mom saying "if"? PMA!! That's "positive mental attitude". Makes the time a bit easier!

    Man, L, C and S both! Sounds like rough times at your house. I hope everyone is on the upswing soon!

    Talking about books and plays... Maiya is so sensitive. She can't watch anything. I'm planning on taking her to her first live theater show, Annie, in a bit. I'm quite worried! But we're so active in our local theater, she's been back stage and on stage (not when a show is going, of course! Just to "help".) and even in the booth. I'd love for her to get an idea what it's all for. Still worried, though! Anyone local want to bring their kids, too, so Maiya has some positive peer pressure to not be too scared??

    I have exciting news. Out of no where, Maiya actually said "green"! We were talking about something or other, and she said something like "dat's deen, and dat's deen, and dat's green, and dat's deen." So it was just one out of a few, but she did it! I guess all this practice is paying off a bit. I mean, she didn't even say "geen", but actually GREEN.

    Ah, it's the little things in life.



  2. #43892

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    Way to go, Maiya! That's great news! Wish we were closer. We love theater. Its so expensive in madison. $30 a ticket! We have to be very choosy about what we see. They have free shows in the rotunda but the seating is carpeted steps and it gets very crowded. Savana will about lose her mind for people she doesn't know sitting so close to her. It's a bit uncomfortable for me, even. We like to hit up the local high school performances too.

  3. #43893
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    Yay for green! It's so amazing when it starts to come in.

    So, can I brag a bit? One of my students is learning so fast it is literally blowing me away. One of her sounds is 'sh' and two weeks ago she could say 'sh' correctly 10% of the time. Last week she did it correctly 78% of the time. No kidding - I don't know HOW she is learning this fast but it's amazing! She's soaking everything up like a little sponge.

    I'm loving having a chance to form attachments with "my" kids again. That was the big thing I missed out on while I was out of the classroom. Actually last week I was working with one of my little guys and it was center time in the classroom. I usually let him pick the activity, then follow along and add words to what he is doing. He wanted to play in the kitchen area and two other little boys told him he couldn't play there. Man, I was angry! The wouldn't let "my" kid play with them!

    I have to say ... I feel for all you moms. He isn't even my kid and I was going into protective mode over those mean boys.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  4. #43894
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    Yay for green!

    Little incident from this morning. One of the moms from my class called the cops on another parent. The guy is dropping off his 18 month old, and not using a car seat. In fact, she is not restrained in any way. He has been warned before, and just says that the seat is in his wife's car. She says that the kid always shows up disheveled too. Doesn't make any sense. The guy drives an Acura, and sends his kid to private school, but he can't be bothered with a second car seat or with cleaning her up? Poor kid!

  5. #43895
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    Goo Maiya! We haven't had much luck with colors yet, he mostly calls everything blue He does seem more intrigued by numbers and 'tries' to count quite often. I encourage it, even if he's doing it wrong, because he seems to enjoy it so. Is that bad?

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  6. #43896
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Yay for green!

    Little incident from this morning. One of the moms from my class called the cops on another parent. The guy is dropping off his 18 month old, and not using a car seat. In fact, she is not restrained in any way. He has been warned before, and just says that the seat is in his wife's car. She says that the kid always shows up disheveled too. Doesn't make any sense. The guy drives an Acura, and sends his kid to private school, but he can't be bothered with a second car seat or with cleaning her up? Poor kid!
    Oy vey!

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  7. #43897

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    Goo Maiya! We haven't had much luck with colors yet, he mostly calls everything blue He does seem more intrigued by numbers and 'tries' to count quite often. I encourage it, even if he's doing it wrong, because he seems to enjoy it so. Is that bad?
    No way! That's not bad at all. That's perfect. I see no need at all to correct Sawyer when he counts wrong. That would just make him self conscious. As long as you model correct counting often, which I'm sure you do, you are doing awesome.

  8. #43898
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Gretchen, I have been having such a hard time checking in here and I have been skimming so much due to all of the drama at my house, I totally skimmed over your thyroid biopsy. How are you holding up? Have you gotten the results yet?


  9. #43899

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    Yay for green! When is the play? If we're in town we might be able to go. Noe is very sensitive with videos, but she's seen the Chinese acrobats in a theater at the fair and was transfixed, so a live theater show would probably be something she'd love.

    Suja, that's so sad about the kid at school. Guess all socioeconomic groups can be a-hole parents. Actually, I've noticed that in the very wealthy parts of my county, children tend to be more disheveled - wearing dirty clothes, no shoes, mats and snarls in hair - and to behave more inappropriately in public than in the more moderate or economically diverse areas. It's a very interesting phenomenon to me. I think sometimes very privileged people just think the normal rules don't apply to them (re carseats, etc), and also don't care what other people think. They are so self-assured in their place in the world that they think everything they do is fine, and they never worry about CPS, because they're rich and (generally) white. The shame of it is that they're probably right.

    We were having ice cream at the little shop down the street from our house on Sunday. Middle of the afternoon. This lady gets out of her car with a little girl about 4 years old. The kid is wearing - I kid you not - a white camisole undershirt with stains on the front, and a pair of white undies, and flip flops. The girl was whining a little bit. The lady marched her around the shopping center for a while and then took her into the market. I assume the kid threw a fit about not wanting to get dressed and the mom just said "whatever, who cares," but honestly I don't really know what the heck the story was. It definitely was a little odd (and I'm not saying that a little kid shouldn't wear whatever, as long as the appropriate bits are covered, but only undies in a grocery store is a bit much, right?). Anyway, it just illustrates my point above. Many parents would never take their kids out like that because a) they'd realize the other folks around would think they were bad parents and b) they'd be afraid someone would call the cops or cps on them. But this lady seemed to have no such worries.

    I hope they disabuse the jerk parent at your school of that notion.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  10. #43900

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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    Gretchen, I have been having such a hard time checking in here and I have been skimming so much due to all of the drama at my house, I totally skimmed over your thyroid biopsy. How are you holding up? Have you gotten the results yet?
    Nothing yet. She said it would take about a week, and a week would be this Thursday.
    Got another bit of unwelcome news yesterday - my mammo results. They saw something. I have to go back in tomorrow for more views with the radiologist. I feel angry and annoyed (I'm waiting on my other biopsy results! Come on already!) but, strangely, not worried. Of course there's nothing to really worry about yet, but also I think I've had so many stupid tests over who-knows-what for the last year that I'm just sort of numb. I've already overthought everything possible, you know? So now it's, like, whatever. I mostly feel annoyed that all of this stuff seems to happen right around Noe's birthday. Last year I had the bone marrow biopsy a few days after her party, and had all of the other tests and scans in the weeks before. This year it's this crap. It would be nice to just be able to celebrate her birthday without this stupid stuff getting in the way.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    No way! That's not bad at all. That's perfect. I see no need at all to correct Sawyer when he counts wrong. That would just make him self conscious. As long as you model correct counting often, which I'm sure you do, you are doing awesome.
    That's good! I wasn't really sure, but it didn't seem right to keep correcting him during his play.

    I feel so clueless in the world of trying to actively teach him things. I do my best to incorporate colors/numbers into things that we do (i.e. we count while we cook or we talk colors when picking out popsicles ), but overall I'm kind of lost. At this point I'm just winging it.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  12. #43902
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    At this point I'm just winging it.
    I am pretty sure most of us are.

    Gretchen, wish they would call already with good news. And whatever is on the mammo results turn out to be nothing.

  13. #43903

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    I'm sorry Gretchen! It sucks, waiting for results.

  14. #43904
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    It is probably nothing (the vast majority of the time it is), but it does suck that you have to deal with the uncertainty of waiting and having to go back in and the worry. I'm really sorry, Gretchen.


    Janet, I don't know if I could go to a play anytime soon with the way our life has been going lately, but I could hear the details just in case. I'm starting to get that in-over-my-head feeling again with chores and activities and things I need to do.

    Speaking of things to do and health issues, I was cleaning out my DH's shelf full of papers the other day, finding things he'd stuffed there 8 months ago and just needed to be filed and other things that needed to be taken care of right away, and I saw a letter from his doctor that essentially said she'd asked him to get some follow-up lab work and it had been so long since she'd asked him to do it that the order had expired. She went on to say that she realized he was very busy, but it was important that he get it done and then schedule a phone appointment once it was complete. So I put it on my calendar for Saturday and sent him a reminder. And a mild WTF. He said he had been busy, and also he didn't really want to know the results. So I kind of babysat him and made sure he didn't "accidentally" eat something that morning and make sure he couldn't go do it, and sent him on his way. Then he refused to check the results online for a couple of days, because he "didn't want to ruin the whole day." His fasting blood sugar was well out of the normal range, which I guess was what he suspected, and I suppose he had not wanted to go again because he wanted another year of cupcakes and cookies and mochas and lattes and brownies before he had to stare reality in the face. I'm half sad and half really annoyed at this, and at everything else he procrastinates on because he doesn't want to deal with the hard truth. Now he's not calling the doctor to set up an appointment, and I'm nagging him and I hate it.


  15. #43905

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    I'm sorry, L. Is this something he'll be able to control with just diet changes?
    I actually totally get his desire to hide his head in the sand. Sometimes you just don't want to deal with something, especially if it involves a big life change or it's a worrisome health issue. I've been tempted to do it myself lately, and I have the devil of a time getting DH to go do things like get his cholesterol/blood pressure checked. Maybe it's not the most mature way of handling it, but life is so full of little effed-up things that sometimes it's hard to add one more.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  16. #43906

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    Dang, Gretchen. That is too much to deal with! When will you know about the mammo results?

    L, I get your frustrations. I have to nag about those things as well and I just want to shake him! But on the other hand, I can see how it could feel better to push it aside. Hope all is ok with him.

    Christine, I started working professionally in early childhood development about 15 years ago and I STILL feel like I'm winging it when it comes to my kids.

    My kids have messy hair, I must admit lol. Especially Kai. But we wear pants in public so, phew! The underwear would have raised my eyebrow too. That is likely a battle I'd choose.

    I got an eyebrow raise from a woman at the museum store when Sawyer chose a little 50 cent toy turtle and kept saying he was going to put it in his train. He kept asking me if it would fit and I said I wasn't sure, it might be too big. I paid for it and handed it to him when he spotted a tiny cow and said, "Actually," (He loves that word) "the cow will fit. I want the cow." He handed me back the turtle and I tried to explain that I already paid for it. He melted into a pile of tears and was hollering about the turtle being too big. So I took a page from what NOT to do with your toddler and I bought the darn cow. It's just that I saw his point. He wanted it to fit in his train. Oh well. I'm sure he'll be a deviant from this point forward.

  17. #43907

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    Messy hair is one thing, B, and Noe's hair isn't exactly pristine. I'm talking matted - like it gets in the back of long hair if it hasn't been combed for a week or more, like Lord of the Flies. And I totally get it - the kid cries, so they don't brush it, and then it gets knotted and it hurts more so they cry more and it's just a cycle. I'm not trying to judge them - they can choose for themselves what's important. I just find it an interesting sociological observation, that some people can afford to care less about certain things regarding their kids than others can.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  18. #43908

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    Oh, and I go in tomorrow for more scans and a meeting with the radiologist, so I should have some idea of what's up with the boob by then.
    (Funny thing - when I was talking to dh about the thyroid, he was like "oh, yeah? *yawn*". But mention the boobs are in danger and he's like "WHAT??? NO!" Men...)
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  19. #43909

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    Oh man you are kidding! Men, indeed. And I know just what you mean about certain socio-economic classes not even having it on their radar to worry about such things.

    Kai has a really tough spot on the back of his head that gets gnarly when he sleeps and even on car rides. He, of course, acts like I am tearing out his toenails one by one when I brush it. I told him if I didn't he was going to have a big dreadlock and for the next week or so he was begging me to let him have dreadlocks! Dbf was shooting me some serious daggers for putting the idea in his head. Made me laugh.

  20. #43910

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    That's funny! Noe has that on the back of her head. She gets "bedhead" back there just from sitting on the couch and she looks like a rooster every morning. I think it's worse because it's short in back so it really sticks up all over the place. I can tame it with some water and a comb, but she freaks, too. Big crocodile tears every time I come at her with the comb.
    I don't think her hair would ever do dreads, though - not without some glue or something. But a little kid with them would be pretty cute!
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  21. #43911

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    I am not opposed. Dbf is absolutely opposed and he doesn't make a stand about too much when it comes to the kids so I didn't encourage the notion. Savana had the same thing and opts to keep her hair cropped short in the back now and that seems to have solved it. What drives me crazy about both of them is they don't pitch a fit when ANYONE else combs their hair. Even my dad who cannot have much experience combing a child's hair. Little sh...., um stinkers. ;)

  22. #43912
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    Thinking good thoughts for you tomorrow with the radiologist! I hope that it's just nothing but some dense tissue.

    No more painting for us until the weekend. This is going to take a good couple of weeks....I still cannot believe he thought it would be ok to wait until the little dude was here.

    Ah hair. My family was blue collar and my mom would have let us leave the house looking a mess over her dead body. I learned very early on to sit for the hair and always had it done up in pig tails or braids and she trimmed my bangs once a week. Once I wasn't a toddler anymore, I was given the brush and told to do it myself first....that way I could get the snarls out before she got at it. For me, the longer the hair, the less the snarls.
    I even brush my dogs a few nights a week. cosmo doesn't need it but she loves it. Molly has crazy hair and sheds so much less and it's softer and not so wirey if I brush it every two or three nights. I have had to cut a few snarls out of her hair.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  23. #43913
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Every week I get a notice that lice is (are?) running rampant in the grade school and we need to inspect the kids' hair nightly. No lice. No dice. Not once. I still keep inspecting. I have them hold still for lice inspections and they squirm and squirm. Still no. And every week, the room parent sends out another email: "LICE! 'NUFF SAID." I keep feeling like I should be washing their hair more often and Claire just hates having her hair combed too (the boys have such short hair that they don't need to have it combed at all) and she squawks and squirms and yells even more and I tell her that if she gets lice she'll have to hold still a lot longer if I have to comb them all out with a fine-toothed comb. Anyway, when they shower Claire is the worst and she says, "ALREADY? Didn't I just have a shower last week?" and I laugh and tell her someday I'll have a hard time tearing her out of the bathroom and she sounds like someone from the middle ages saying that she already had her yearly bath.

    So I got another notice about lice and it said that it was beneficial to have less-frequently washed hair. I was feeling a little guilty about bathing them only twice a week or so as needed, and now I feel vindicated. That's probably the main reason they don't have lice and everyone else has been getting it.

    And now my head feels all itchy.

    -----

    Speaking of getting away with stuff, when I was young and trying to do something illegal and my mom caught me, she told me I should wait until I was older and more respectable, because a teenager doing something illegal was just some teenager getting in trouble. An adult with a real job, she said, was less likely to get arrested. I thought I would have more to lose. But I think she was right. On the other hand, I wasn't as tempted to do illegal things as I got older, so my mom was pretty smart.


  24. #43914

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    Gretchen and L! What tough situations... I'm sorry to both of you. Gretchen, the waiting really sucks. Keep us updated! We're here to support you. L, he reminds me so much of my husband with health issues. Men believe in magic, I tell ya. "If I ignore it, it will go away!!" I'm sorry.

    Maiya's hair gets quite messy, too. It's not too bad to brush, but it's fine and kind of coarse, so gets pretty crazy during the day. She's still never had a hair cut, though, I intend to go a year or two more before she does!

    I did use to have to shave my dog's fur. I was too stingy to take her to a groomer, so just shaved it myself. Boy, did she look adorably awful!! But her fur was SO thick and dense that fox tails would get stuck in them and she would get matts. Luckily, it was only that bad as she was dropping coat after a particularly bad winter or summer, so I didn't have to do it often.

    Oh, L, C and Maiya are much alike in that! Maiya hates baths- or at least, those in which she must get her hair washed. So, like you, I only wash it every few days. Glad to hear there is some benefit to it!

    I must admit, now my head is feeling itchy, too. Ugh, lice!



  25. #43915
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    I don't wash my hair every day...more like every other or even every third. It's healthier for it.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  26. #43916

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    I always try to comb Josh's hair, even though it's a mess. He has cowlicks all over the place and he likes it a little long (not long long, but longer than a buzz cut). I always think of what Kai said (I'm pretty sure it was Kai), that all the boys in books have messy hair, like Peter Pan and Harry Potter.

    DH, however, is really adamant about Josh looking presentable. He claims that when he was a kid, if your clothes weren't ironed and your hair combed, you were teased. He wants Josh to dress up (like a collared shirt and pants) for picture day. I look at Josh's class pictures and there's a pretty good mix of kids who try to look nice and kids who don't. I do my best generally, but I don't mind if his jeans aren't ironed and his hair is sticking up in a couple places.

    L, sorry you have to get on DH's case about his health.

  27. #43917
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Christine, I started working professionally in early childhood development about 15 years ago and I STILL feel like I'm winging it when it comes to my kids.

    I got an eyebrow raise from a woman at the museum store when Sawyer chose a little 50 cent toy turtle and kept saying he was going to put it in his train. He kept asking me if it would fit and I said I wasn't sure, it might be too big. I paid for it and handed it to him when he spotted a tiny cow and said, "Actually," (He loves that word) "the cow will fit. I want the cow." He handed me back the turtle and I tried to explain that I already paid for it. He melted into a pile of tears and was hollering about the turtle being too big. So I took a page from what NOT to do with your toddler and I bought the darn cow. It's just that I saw his point. He wanted it to fit in his train. Oh well. I'm sure he'll be a deviant from this point forward.
    See, B, I think you are practically the kid guru!

    ....and yes, S will now be scarred for life. and shame on that woman for passing judgement on a situation she probably didn't even know anything about.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  28. #43918
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    I can be quite particular about the way I take Nolan out in public (though there is no ironing going on in this house )

    Hubby on the other hand will take him out in stained play clothes (though clean) and it drives me mad. He has never found appearance to be all that important. He doent' think people should judge him based upon the condition of his clothing and that as long as he is clean it is OK. Which I see his point, I just disagree

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  29. #43919
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    Back in the days I used to go to the dog park, I'd stop at grocery stores and such on the way back, and get looks. Everything I wore would be dirty, with paw prints and mud on it. I only felt self conscious about it once - I was dropping clods of mud from my boots everywhere I walked, and although I did my best to clean up, I'm sure I left a mess for some poor worker. So yeah, not very particular about how anyone looks.

    Of course, I end up with a fussy kid who IS particular about everything being just-so. Not necessarily neat/clean/not messy, but just the way she likes it. For the most part, I let it be. As long as what she is wearing/intending to wear is appropriate for the weather/occasion.

  30. #43920

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    L, I've heard that about lice too -- they love squeaky clean hair. I remind myself of that every time I realize it's been a week since I washed Noe's. Her hair is straight and fine and she's a pretty tidy kid... it just doesn't get dirty very quickly. But nightly-bath-super-clean, she is not.

    My mom was particular about the way we looked as children too, Jennifer. We were her "pride and joy," so hair always clean and brushed and in braids or pigtails, with ribbons. She even used to curl it! She made a lot of our clothes too and would say that a well-kept child, especially in home-sewn clothes, "lets everyone know she's loved."
    I'm more casual with my kids, but I do think some of that rubbed off on me, however much I've tried to rebel against my mom.
    Speaking of hair, dd1 dyed hers last night - the dark greenish-blue she's been wanting to try. It actually looks really pretty, especially with her skin tone. Don't know how it will look when it starts fading, but for now it's a nice color very well suited for Halloween.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


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