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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #43231
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    Oh Mandy! Please don't be embarrassed! It was funny & cute! It gave me a good chuckle, and I need to laugh.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  2. #43232
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    FWIW, I understood what you were saying :-)

  3. #43233
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    LOL! I'm embarrassed enough to want to edit that part out, but if I do nobody else will understand why you are saying that. So I guess it shall stand!
    Wait a minute--are we still talking about your DH again?


  4. #43234

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    Ha! Too funny. Oh and someone just commented on one of my fb stati, "to funny". Every time that happens, I think of that meme (is that what they're called?) that refers to "funny" as a place to go. Speaking of fb, I just reconnected with an old aquaintance and see she has started a fund for people to contribute to her first year of nursing school. Is this what people are doing now?

  5. #43235
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    More worthwhile than sponsoring oh, someone's fancy honeymoon to Fiji.

  6. #43236
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    DH had an acquaintance do that. She had a whole website devoted to how everyone should feel sorry for her and give her money. We laughed at her and still do years later - but it's because we know her. She used to work for DH and had while there had a lot of opportunities but chose to become a total train wreck. I won't go into detail, but everything that she complains about and wants people to pity is 100% self-inflicted. So we didn't feel sorry for her.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  7. #43237
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    Wait a minute--are we still talking about your DH again?
    Wait, weren't we the whole time? What?
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  8. #43238
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    Wait a minute--are we still talking about your DH again?
    Bwahahahahaha!!! Oh L!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Ha! Too funny. Oh and someone just commented on one of my fb stati, "to funny". Every time that happens, I think of that meme (is that what they're called?) that refers to "funny" as a place to go. Speaking of fb, I just reconnected with an old aquaintance and see she has started a fund for people to contribute to her first year of nursing school. Is this what people are doing now?
    Apparently. I know of someone that got her friends to contribute so she could spend weeks in London at 'school.' And pub-hopping. And she returned to complain it wasn't worth it. She happened to create a FB event page for hers, but there are websites dedicated to 'crowd funding' and a lot of it is education, some are for honeymoons. The real heartbreakers are the ones asking for help with medical costs, like their children's cancer treatments. If I ever did contribute, that's what it would be towards. Unfortunately, in the internet you never know who's really legit.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  9. #43239
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    So tacky. Get student loans and pay for your own school like the rest of us. I can see a honeymoon if that was done instead of a registery...I can see how older adults might have the starting a house stuff already (if not two of everything).

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  10. #43240
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    Weddings shouldn't be about the gifts. IMO, it is tacky to tell people to get you something specific. You want to go to Fiji? Figure out how to pay for it yourself. Can't afford it? Go some place you can. It's called living within your means.

    A long time ago, Washington Post had run an article on 3 weddings. One extravagant, one middle of the road, one shoe string. The spendy wedding, just the gown cost $10,000. I thought that was a horrible waste of money, but you know what? The bride and groom waited 3 years, and skimped and saved so they could have the wedding of their dreams. Kudos to them.

  11. #43241
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    I couldn't imagine asking someone to help pay for my schooling.......

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  12. #43242
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    Maybe it's a cultural thing Suja? But it's generally expected that weddings involve gifts. Sometimes people like to just give cash, some like to give something specific or more concrete. I have done both. I mean it's tacky to advertise on the invite where you are registered but it's usually pretty easy to find out where the couple is registered. I think it's fine if I ask where they are registered and they have one set up for a honeymoon.

    i personally LOVE a registery. It's not that you are telling someone that they have to buy you something, it's just letting them know what colors your stuff is and that you don't need a toaster but you could use a blender. Also helps stop people from getting the same thing. I like buying a gift for someone that I know that they need or want. Not something that they don't like, they already have, or three other people are getting them the same thing.

    Will probably do one for the baby shower...though my case is a bit different because I will not do that until we have the baby and will likely have a lot of the stuff already. I might just have my mom tell everyone to do clothes, toys, and books. If I'm bringing baby home at 5 weeks and baby is big, I won't need newborn stuff. And we would already have the nursery done and carseat and such.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  13. #43243
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    i personally LOVE a registery. It's not that you are telling someone that they have to buy you something, it's just letting them know what colors your stuff is and that you don't need a toaster but you could use a blender. Also helps stop people from getting the same thing. I like buying a gift for someone that I know that they need or want. Not something that they don't like, they already have, or three other people are getting them the same thing.
    I love a registry too, but I prefer the registry to be included in the invite. I don't want to have to call around and find out where the person is registered. It's very convenient (for me) to have that included in the invite. I can just go buy what I want (from the registry, of course) and be done. I also don't have any issues with couples asking to have money donated towards a honeymoon (or down payment on a house or whatever) instead. I'll put whatever money I was going to spend on a gift towards that. After all, it's about what they want. Not me. If I'm going to be attending their wedding, I want to give them something that will make them happy. If money towards a trip makes them happy, then I'm glad to do it.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  14. #43244
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    I think that a baby shower it's ok to include with the invite or a wedding shower but not the wedding invite itself.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  15. #43245
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    I think that a baby shower it's ok to include with the invite or a wedding shower but not the wedding invite itself.
    I guess I don't get the distinction. I can't recall ever being invited to a wedding shower (isn't that just for the bridal party?), but I have been invited to plenty of weddings. I'm always annoyed when there's no inclusion of where they're registered. And in fact, I have gotten so irritated with that negligence that I figure they don't really want what they registered for after all, and I just buy them wtf ever I want to without bothering to find out where they're registered. It shouldn't be up to me to chase them down & ask them what they want or where they're registered. If they don't give me that information, they're gonna get a 4th toaster or something they don't want from me. I will not call them (or their parents) and ask for it.
    Last edited by missychrissy; 08-08-2013 at 11:44 AM.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  16. #43246
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I love a registry too, but I prefer the registry to be included in the invite. I don't want to have to call around and find out where the person is registered. It's very convenient (for me) to have that included in the invite. I can just go buy what I want (from the registry, of course) and be done. I also don't have any issues with couples asking to have money donated towards a honeymoon (or down payment on a house or whatever) instead. I'll put whatever money I was going to spend on a gift towards that. After all, it's about what they want. Not me. If I'm going to be attending their wedding, I want to give them something that will make them happy. If money towards a trip makes them happy, then I'm glad to do it.
    I agree. Also, I don't know if it is different locally, but we don't really have 'wedding showers' here. I always include registry information on the invitation.

    I didn't do a registry for our wedding, but we were already iving together, so it would have been pointless. Plus, DHs people don't buy gifts generally, so it would've been a waste of time

    That being said, we actually had a huge debate in my house about doing a baby shower for this baby. Mostly my mom was adament, but hubs agreed with her as well.

    Personally, subsequent baby showers do NOT bother me (so let me preface with that) BUT *I* was not interested in having one. Especialy when we found out it was another boy. I literally only need a car seat and a swing (plus a few odds and ends i.e. nursing supplies, socks, etc) but for the most part we are pretty set for this baby.

    So basically I got roped into doing a baby shower (which I am going to have to basically throw and pay for MYSELF) wheer people are going to give me a bunch of crap that I do NOT need. Sigh. I told my husband he is responsible for returning whatever I don't want/get doubles of to Wal-Mart (since that is where everyone shops) and get me a gift card so I can buy the swing/car seat

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  17. #43247
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    It's not considered proper etiquette I think to put it on the wedding invite. Mine were all proper...my dad did them on the computer himself and went to the library and checked out some books are wedding invites to make sure it was properly done. Including the wording on it, the order things went in the envelope.....LOL

    http://weddings.weddingchannel.com/w...e=2&MsdVisit=1

    No wedding showers? Weird! I know that they are also called a bridal shower here. My mom, sister and MIL basically threw a party that was mostly just the ladies. Cake, food, some games and lots of presents for me. Most typically here, the shower you get gifts and the wedding you get cash. We raked in over 2K for the wedding plus lots of gifts and my parents paid for it all...and we had less than 50 people at the wedding. it was VERY helpful starting out!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  18. #43248

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    I always felt like including registry information on the official invite was weird. Most of the people I know either just leave it to word of mouth, or include it on a "save the date" type postcard.

  19. #43249

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    See, I know that registries are pretty much standard and expected now days but I'm not a fan. I think we have gotten so far away from the true meaning of a gift with all of this baloney. I'm getting married. Come to my wedding. Buy me this and get it here. Lol. We are a strange society.

  20. #43250
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    I don't think a registry means like you *have* to buy me X. It is helpful for those who want to buy something, but it is definitely not required. Plus, maybe I am weird, but I enjoy buying gifts for people.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  21. #43251
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    I don't think a registry means like you *have* to buy me X. It is helpful for those who want to buy something, but it is definitely not required. Plus, maybe I am weird, but I enjoy buying gifts for people.
    I'm weird with you. And I enjoy MORE buying something I know they're going to want. It stresses me out to no end to shop for someone when I have no clue what they like or might need.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  22. #43252

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    I think registries are great, otherwise people would get 8 blenders, 3 sets of glassware and dishes, etc. And if someone wants to buy or make a more personal gift, they can. There are some really cute wedding gifts on uncommongoods.com that you can personalize with the couple's names and the date and everything. My cousin got a doormat with their family name on it, which I thought was really cute.

    Wedding showers usually involve close family, friends and the wedding party. My family threw me a surprise engagement party (sans DH) at our family reunion and then another smaller wedding shower that DH came to. They were both great and involved some friends of the family that I hadn't seen since I was a baby. LOL

  23. #43253
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I'm weird with you. And I enjoy MORE buying something I know they're going to want. It stresses me out to no end to shop for someone when I have no clue what they like or might need.
    I agree with this as well. I like giving in general and I like buying off registery. I think I will probably do one for my kid for xmas and birthdays. LOL Well if I had a lot of people buying. Might be easier to just tell each grandma something different that I know kid wants.
    I like looking at the registery and deciding which thing I feel like buying and knowing that it's checked off the list so hopefully my gift is the only of that item.

    Trying to figure out WHAT to buy...now that I hate. Biggest reason my DH hates christmas....doesn't like wandering stores trying to find the perfect thing and thinking up a cool gift.

    come to think of it, it's what we did as kids too...you got the JcPenny catalog and went through the toy section circling things you wanted the most. or making a list of the things you wanted the most.

    Registeries are there for people like us who like to buy off them....nothing says you HAVE to buy off them.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  24. #43254
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    True about the wedding showers. Mine was almost every woman that was invited to the wedding too but not quite. There are a few that only came to the wedding (like the lady who made my dress...she also made my moms dress almost 30 years before!). But for the most part, we only had close family and friends at the wedding so the same ladies came to the shower. I did not do a bachelorette party.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  25. #43255
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    I usually give money/gift cards. I hate buying stuff from places I don't shop, especially when I know that I'd be paying a premium for brand names.

  26. #43256
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    I had a bridal shower, too. It was female family members, friends, and members of my wedding party. My aunt hosted it for me.

    I did what Jennifer did - I had a registry but left the information off the invitation. I also understood it was sort of a request for gifts. I honestly didn't care whether anyone got me anything, although most people did. And I was perfectly happy to get something off my registry. Those were usually my most interesting and memorable gifts. I felt like people were encouraged to be more creative that way, but if they wanted the registry it was there.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  27. #43257

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    Oh I had a baby shower too. I know it's practical and not unreasonable. It's just odd, one of those things I imagine a more evolved version of humans finding hilarious.

    Also, not even in the tiniest way did I mean that I don't enjoy buying gifts for people. That's just, I mean, no. That's not what I meant.

  28. #43258
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    I never took what you said to mean that!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  29. #43259
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    I'm late to the conversation, but I'm glad you left your original post, Mandy. It was an interesting visual.

    I don't know anything about registries. I think they must be an American thing since I've never seen one over here and I've been to a few weddings. People don't do baby showers or bridal showers either.

    The way things seem to work now is most people live together here before they get married and some even have kids and then they decide to have a big wedding, so they ask for you to contribute to their honeymoon (if it is even a honeymoon technically since thewhole family tends to go).

    Also, pepeople over here really go all out on their bachelor/ette party. A lot of people go over to Europe for a weekend of drunkenness.

    I have noticed that the whole gift giving process is looked at differently in the UK. At birthday parties, you don't open presents that people have given you. You wait until you're home after the party when everyone else has gone home.

    Any way, typing on my phone is starting to annoy me, so I'll log off now. We are having a great summer vacation so far. Today we are going on a bike ride around the village and have lunch at thepub.

  30. #43260
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Yes, I think gift-giving, and even how people look at money, is very much a cultural thing and even within cultures, small groups or subsets or even families have their own mini-cultures. Having read about how tricky it is to gift in Japan, it makes me very glad I don't live there, because I'm sure I would be messing that up every single time.

    I much prefer to buy off a registry if people have one, and I try to get there first so I have more choices. I dislike buying for people when there is only the $400 comforter or 3 or 4 miscellaneous small items left. I wouldn't mind contributing to a honeymoon or a project.

    I have noticed a trend around here to have people contribute to just about anything. I was reading about a bar that was opening up in a trendy neighborhood, and they had a website asking for people to help contribute money to building it. The owners said that they were running out of funds sooner than they'd planned, so if someone would donate $500 to the bar they'd get a t-shirt, $1000 and they would get a free beer a month for a year, and $5000 they'd get a free beer a month for life. Or something like that. They had a little donation tally, but all I could think of was that I had my doubts about the beer for life being a sound investment, because I doubted the bar would last long.

    ----

    S. has been up most of the past two nights with his loud concerts of "Down by the BAY, where the watermelons GROW, back to my HOME, I DARE NOT GO!" The other night he kept singing and giggling and tickling himself and wiggling around and saying things and then laughing at the things he would say and then singing again, "Down by the BAY." DH finally got up at 4 AM and said he couldn't deal with him any more and asked me to do something. I stayed on the couch out on the living room and DH wrote to his boss and told him he was coming in late. So last night S. slept the first part of the night and then at 3:30 he woke up to pee and started singing again. DH told him he could go out to the living room and watch tv. I said WHAT? He said he didn't want a repeat of the other night. I argued that giving him a positive reinforcement of his wakefulness wouldn't be good either, but DH said he couldn't handle having him in the bedroom singing all night for a second night in a row.

    I couldn't go back to bed completely, but I tried to doze off nearby him. It was hard. He climbed up onto the fireplace mantel looking for the remote control, but instead grabbed some taken-apart toy parts that DH was working on. He came into the twins' room 5 times to turn the light on and rustle through the toy bin looking for stuff. He asked for milk three times. I kept putting him back on the couch, covering him up with a little blanket, and reminding him that it was sleepytime and he should just try to go to sleep. He'd promise, and then pop up a few minutes later.

    Now it's 6 AM and he just fell back asleep. The twins will be up in a minute. I have to drive out of town to go camping with them today. DH is going to stay here because he has to work, but he'll probably join me tomorrow. I have a feeling if S. keeps pulling these shenanigans, we'll be the least popular family on the camping trip.

    I do have to say, though, the new song is a little easier to handle than the previous one, which was, "CLANG CLANG RATTLE BING BANG GONNA MAKE MY NOISE ALL DAY" over and over again.


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