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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #42961

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    We had a swimming lesson disaster this spring as well. It wasn't as bad as your stories, but the water was SO cold that both kids were blue within five minutes. We were in the water with them and I was freezing as well. We only went that one time and never went back.

    We are either at a lake or my IL's pool every weekend and sometimes during the week. 4th of july weekend, Macie would still barely get in the lake and was panicked, holding on to me, etc. I kept working with her, and as of this week, she is swimming back and forth across the pool (wearing her puddle jumper) and jumping off the top step of the stairs, even going under a little. I'm so proud of her! We are going to the lake again tomorrow and probably sunday too. Asher loves the water, but hasn't figured out how to keep himself upright while wearing his vest so he keeps faceplanting. I just hold on to him or let him keep jumping into my arms.

    With the hot weather we've been having, the lakes are like 80 and I'm pretty sure the pool was close to 90.
    AKA Lisa724

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    Our electric bill easily can get near $300 during the hot months and that is a drop from the $400+ it was a couple years ago before we started doing work on the ducts and adding additional insulation as we re-did the rooms.

    Speaking of re-doing rooms, we are finally at the painting stage in getting Nolan's 'new' room all put together So excited, it has been a long-expensive project that I am glad to be done with! We'll be transitioning him in there (I hope he takes to the toddler bed well!)

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  3. #42963

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    Speaking of potty training, MIL still makes Josh wear a diaper when he sleeps at her house. Now granted, he does still wet the bed sometimes and she doesn't have a rubber sheet for the spare bed, but I feel bad that he still has to wear a diaper.

    I'm annoyed that it's business as usual for DH at work today. He works outside a lot and we're under a heat advisory. I mean if the area is warning people against simply being outside for too long, shouldn't Comcast be calling off the people who have to work outside in jeans?

  4. #42964
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    I'd be LIVID if someone made Conner sleep in a diaper! He's had a few accidents while sleeping. I just fold a large blanket under him to sleep on. If he has an accident, it goes in the wash. I don't even say anything to him about it. If he brings it up (I suspect his father makes comments), I tell him I used to too till I was 8 or 9 years old and not to worry about it.

    And yeah, you wouldn't think they'd have him working outside in this heat. I'm sure many outdoor workers are going to get sick.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  5. #42965
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Kate, if you and Josh don't like him wearing pull-ups to bed at any point, you could try ordering some of these:

    http://www.amazon.com/Goodnites-Disp...pr_product_top

    They are soft, disposable sheet protectors that have adhesive and stick on to the top of the sheet, so you can open them up and just put them on the existing bedding. Not too expensive, and will save her from having to wash extra stuff if she doesn't want to keep a plasticky kind of sheet if he wets overnight.

    I have been sort of trying to go through night-time potty training with Claire. The only thing that's been shown to work is a wetness indicator alarm, so I got one and some of those sheet protectors (because I can't change the bedding multiple times a night, with both kids sleeping in the same bed, and a limited number of sheets and undersheet protectors). Claire was very eager to start using it in the hopes that she would be able to learn to get up to pee during the night. R. was not interested. Unfortunately, it's pretty loud and she was not happy being woken up like that so she's been reluctant to continue the process. The company I ordered it from was sending me encouraging emails about once a week, with progress reports, and we're all a little bummed.

    Hmm, I wonder if I can just change it to the vibrate only setting.


  6. #42966
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    I thought that in most cases, bed wetting was simply a developmental issue? That's how my girls' dr described it to me...he said that the issue is that the trigger that wakes us up when our bladder is full sometimes develops slower, or is weaker, in younger children and that with time it'll be strong enough to wake them up. There's really nothing you can do about that.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Chrissy, that's how I understand it, too, but I know that a late-night bathroom trip can help until the child learns to wake up on their own.

    My sister and I both had issues with night wetting for a long time. I grew out of it, but my sister actually needed surgery on her bladder. Come to think of it, she had issues during the day, too, though. I'd forgotten that.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  8. #42968

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    I'll confess that I used to give Josh kind of a hard time about wetting himself. I realized that me pressuring him not to wet his pants wasn't helping. Thanks so much for that link, L. We have to hit Target later and the website says they have them.
    Even when he wets himself during the day, he says he didn't know he had to go until it was too late. It's hard not to worry about it and want to do something about it, especially with him being in school again soon and worrying about teasing.

  9. #42969
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    One of my cousins ended up using the alarm thing on her DD. She was just a really sound sleeper, and wouldn't wake up without help. She was 8 (IIRC) when they used it. *She* was unhappy with not being able to sleep over at friends' houses or having them over (and obviously would've died if anyone outside of her immediate family had known that she either wet the bed or wore diapers to bed). I do believe that this sort of thing might run in the family. This cousin's older sister wet the bed until she was 11 or 12.

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    I remember being miserably unhappy in elementary school over bed wetting. You are right, Suja, it's really hard on a child when they want to have sleepovers and that sort of thing. I was, and still am, a very sound sleeper.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  11. #42971

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    Kai still soaks a pull up every night and pees very often during the day. Savana pretty much started waking up dry the same time she started wearing underwear. Sawyer wears underwear to bed now too. I am concerned about Kai but our dr says they don't start to worry until age 7.

  12. #42972

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    Oh, and Kate, it is one thing to feel frustrated but these kids were going to 3 year old preschool! That is very young. Plus it just seemed totally disrespectful way to speak about your child. I mean, concern is one thing. This was, like, disdain.

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    Bridget, I remember we were discussing Kai's issues in here a while ago and you were taking him to the doctor.

    I know I'm not a doctor and peeing is not my thing, but to be honest I find that hard to believe. I've worked in elementary schools for years now and I haven't known one child who peed as frequently as you say Kai does. Even the kids who were diapered and developmentally delayed - they didn't pee that frequently, even though they did need diapers. I really wonder if your doctor is just putting you off.

    Sorry if it's none of my business, but I just wanted to throw that out there.

    I think my sister was around 6 when she had her bladder surgery.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  14. #42974

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    Just popping in to say Happy Friday, ladies. I was given 12 hrs to complete something I'd originally been told I could work on 'til the end of the month.
    Bridget, those yammering ladies sound so mean!
    Lisa, how's your FIL?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Oh, and Kate, it is one thing to feel frustrated but these kids were going to 3 year old preschool! That is very young. Plus it just seemed totally disrespectful way to speak about your child. I mean, concern is one thing. This was, like, disdain.
    Yeah, that is totally insane. Plenty of 3-year-olds have accidents. Those women sound awful.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  16. #42976
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    One thing I will tell you. The kids in the classroom are totally aware of who is in a diaper, and who has accidents, even at 3. I used to get reports from Mira ALL the time, although it wasn't something I had brought up with her AT ALL. I don't any more, because there are only a handful of kids attending over the summer, and I think they're pretty much all potty trained anyway, but boy, are the kids aware!

  17. #42977

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    I think something is not right with Kai, too. But I am kind of at a loss. We went to a urologist, even, and she did an ultrasound and said his bladder looks normal. Blood tests for diabetes and other metabolic disorders came back normal.

  18. #42978
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Ok, now that I am on my laptop I can tell this story, although I can't make paragraphs. It's going back to the yammering moms at the pool. So two of them were having a conversation about getting their kids ready for preschool and how they had to be completely potty trained. The one says this: She has been so excited about preschool but she keeps having accidents so I said "You know what? You keep having accidents, they are not going to let you come to preschool!" and she says, 'But Mommy, I can wear a pull up', and I tell her that no one in preschool wears pull ups and all the other kids will laugh at her." I seriously had to pick my jaw up. Then the other mom responds with this: "Oh well J was having accidents too but he hates pull ups so I told him I'd do him one better and he could wear diapers if he didn't want to use the potty and boy did that stop those accidents." I could NOT believe it! I swear to you, I am very much an each to their own type of person and try very hard not to be judgy judgerton but these women were acting like their THREE YEAR OLDS (3!!!!) were having accidents just to be jerks. They were like heh heh, I showed him!
    That is just an awful, awful thing to say

    My mom keeps talking about "Nolan needs to use the potty before the new baby gets here"... Um... says who? YOU? She thinks just because my brother and I were early potty learners (18ish months according to her) that Nolan should be too. As far as I am concerned he'll go on the potty when he is ready and I refuse to force it.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  19. #42979
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    I think something is not right with Kai, too. But I am kind of at a loss. We went to a urologist, even, and she did an ultrasound and said his bladder looks normal. Blood tests for diabetes and other metabolic disorders came back normal.
    Well, those are all good things. I just can't help but feel there is something missing. I know, none of my business. Sorry.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  20. #42980
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    That is just an awful, awful thing to say

    My mom keeps talking about "Nolan needs to use the potty before the new baby gets here"... Um... says who? YOU? She thinks just because my brother and I were early potty learners (18ish months according to her) that Nolan should be too. As far as I am concerned he'll go on the potty when he is ready and I refuse to force it.
    Seriously. And you couldn't even if you wanted to. It would just make you both feel bad, and would likely delay him using the potty anyway. Tell her to mind her own business.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  21. #42981
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Seriously. And you couldn't even if you wanted to. It would just make you both feel bad, and would likely delay him using the potty anyway. Tell her to mind her own business.
    I do

    I can't say that I am doing *nothing*. We do talk about the potty and he understands what the potty is for and I even ask him if he wants to use the potty regularly before diaper changes/bath time, but I figure he'll either take the bait to start using it or he won't. No one is washing the diapers but me, so I don't particularly care what anyone thinks
    Last edited by Smplyme89; 07-19-2013 at 01:23 PM.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  22. #42982
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    I have done a ton of reading on bedwetting in the past year, over various periods of time.

    I was trying to find a good article that would lay everything out that I found in a pretty good package, but I couldn't find everything all together. The best place so far that has just about everything is the wikipedia article:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nocturnal_enuresis

    What it left out is that "lifting," what I've been doing in the middle of the night for about the past six months since they've started wetting through their pull-ups occasionally, sort of halfway waking the kids to take them to the bathroom to pee, is really only helpful from a laundry perspective and doesn't help with any training. In fact, it may hinder them since it doesn't help them learn to sense the full bladder on their own when they're asleep. Or maybe that's what they mean by dry bed training, but it's hard to tell.

    Also, it doesn't really state clearly that desmopressin only works as long as it's taken. It's very effective at stopping bedwetting while it's in the system, so it's an excellent stopgap measure for things like sleepovers or overnight summer camps, but as soon as it's done, the bedwetting resumes unless the child has developmentally progressed to the stage where bedwetting would have stopped anyway. That is something good to know.

    I do like how it clearly lays out the various success rates of each different treatment, and the rate of bedwetting at different ages, and that the number one priority is self-esteem issues.

    Anyway, from everything I've read, steps are:

    1. rule out physical causes, particularly if there are daytime accidents or pink or painful urine or new onset after being dry at night for a while
    2. give it time and give reassurance to your child and anyone else who may know about it
    3. if you want to try to work towards behavioral modification, start charts have not been shown to work but alarms actually have been shown to be pretty effective


  23. #42983
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    That's interesting about the alarms...I never took them seriously because I figured if it was developmental, what good would an alarm do?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  24. #42984
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    That is great information L. I have a co-worker whose been having issues with her little girl bed-wetting all of a sudden. I'll share that with her.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


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    Also, I know I've been MIA and a bit self-involved lately. Between picking classes, deciding whether to change my major, DH quitting his job/working again, and than trying to decide whether part time would be a good move for us - I've been a bit Emotionally I am a bit spent and just haven't had much extra to give..... So, anyway, I promise I'll try to pull it together ASAP!

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  26. #42986
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    I have been able to reply to about one post in about 100. And it's kind of a crapshoot as to which ones those are. Pretty much the ones that I already know the answers to, where I can provide the most info with the least work, because I am so far behind on the stuff I have to do. I still have the lawnmower sitting in the other room that I have to put together, from about 3 weeks ago.


  27. #42987
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    Kate, I don't know too many people who don't do their jobs in this weather. We have had bad heat and warnings up until today (cooler air finally hit us) and my DH still works. It's inside but no air conditioning and he has to wear jeans and long sleeves. The job just provides gatorade for them. At a previous job working an environmental site in NW Indianna, they worked in the heat and wore environmental suits. Part of the reason he never wanted to consider jobs in places like FL and AZ and Vegas....didn't want to deal with working outside in the heat.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  28. #42988

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Well, those are all good things. I just can't help but feel there is something missing. I know, none of my business. Sorry.
    I agree. And don't be sorry!

  29. #42989

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    Arg, I went to Target and got a bunch of things and forgot the bed pads! Back again tomorrow!

    Josh insists nobody noticed when he wet his pants at school. I hope that is true but as he gets older it will be more likely that kids notice. But I think I've talked about this before here and someone said that even though it is hard to stand by and watch, you have to let kids go through these things sometimes.

  30. #42990

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    Speaking of accidents at school - I'm concerned about Noe. She trained for day and night at about 2.5, so more than a year ago, and pee accidents are very rare. But about six months ago she started having poop accidents during the day. It's usually not a whole dump - more like a big skid or a shart (though occasionally, it's more). It's enough that the feeling makes her uncomfortable and she needs to get cleaned up and change her undies. It happens several times per week. I've heard that it can be caused by constipation even if she doesn't seem constipated - but I don't know how I would know if that were the case. She is very regular, goes once or more per day, and the consistency seems very normal. She says she doesn't know when it's going to happen, or that she thinks it's gas and it's not gas. I figure she just needs time to get the hang of it, and I know at least occasionally it has to do with her not wanting to go until the last minute ... as dh says, she "turtleheads" it. haha.

    Anyway, though I'm not concerned from a developmental standpoint, I'm worried about school. She starts preschool (5 days/week, 8:30-3) next month. I know it's a requirement that they're trained, and I worry that the teachers will get annoyed with her if she keeps having these accidents and needs help getting cleaned up. I'm trying to teach her how to clean herself up with wet wipes, but she's not very good at it yet and I doubt she'll have it down by next month.

    Any tips or experience to share? This isn't something I went through with dd1, so it's new to me. I don't want her to get a reputation at school. And do you think it could be a physical problem? Anything I should try to help her learn not to do it? We already sing a potty song about how when she has to go, she should "stop, and go right away." We also talk about how even if she thinks it's just gas, maybe she should get on the potty instead. But she is not the type who likes to sit on the pot for more than 10 seconds.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


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