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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #42601
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    You know, I wouldn't have picked out a Mini Aussie for you, Jennifer. They tend to be just a smaller version of Aussies, and have the same sort of herding instinct, desire to work, and energy levels as the Aussies do. Most people I know that have minis got them for dog sports - flyball and agility. I can totally see Collies as a really good fit. They're generally pretty laid back, go with the flow, get along with everyone kind of dogs.

    I always get my chores done after picking up Mira from school. I prefer to do "work" on weekdays, so weekends are a little more laid back, and we can just go for walks and such, instead of doing grocery shopping when everyone else is doing it too.

  2. #42602
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    Christina, you've described my life. Except, DH is doing this for himself, and I'm being "supportive". I do every single thing around the house. On a day to day basis, DH feeds Mira her breakfast (when she isn't screaming for mommy to feed her), and occasionally gets home early enough at night, to play with her. He works 15+ hours, pretty much 7 days a week.

  3. #42603
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Christina, you've described my life. Except, DH is doing this for himself, and I'm being "supportive". I do every single thing around the house. On a day to day basis, DH feeds Mira her breakfast (when she isn't screaming for mommy to feed her), and occasionally gets home early enough at night, to play with her. He works 15+ hours, pretty much 7 days a week.
    The only thing DH does pretty regularly is bath time, because I have a hard time getting on the floor, and refuse to subject my back/knees to it right now. If he doesn't get home in time for bath time, Nolan gets a wipe down or just plays in the water for a while Luckily that doesn't happen too often.

    I can't entirely blame him though. I might, maybe, if we're being truthful - be a wee bit controlling I've always just accepted it as a part of life and dealt with it. The reality is that with being pregnant again and looking at having to do what I am doing now + a newborn in a few months has me in freak out mode. Something has to change.

    My manager is trying to get me to accept a position that would put me somewhere inbetween a Teller (what I am now) and MFA. She's even willing to talk making it a part time 2-3 days a week position (with me working on high volume days) which would be ah-mazing after this LO is born, especialy with still going to school. Less hours, less days, but *no* benefits come with that kind of position. Which sucks, but it would take a lot of burden off of me. I would prefer to keep my same position (serioulsy I can do this job while sleeping I've been doing it so long) but part time - but her offer is something I am considering. Though I really loathe the prospect of doing MFA work, I am not a fan of the loan process, having someone sit in front of you for 30mins to an hour and than of course the Senior MFA is an absolute B who does NOT like me AT ALL.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  4. #42604
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    Wow I cannot imagine being married to someone that works that much! Mine does 40 hours a week unless work has him at 32 during slower times. Or more when the OT is mandatory. I like having him home...he does a good majority of the cleaning. I mostly just do kitchen, cooking and laundry.

    Even on the weekend our grocery store isn't that busy except on Sunday at the right after church time. But I don't live in a big city.

    Suja, I have thought about that with them....my hope is that we have Cosmo long enough to have a kid to run around with the new dog. My absolute favorite based on looks is the border collie but that is definitely not going to happen. I love the look of aussie...except the no tail...I love a tail. But I'm really looking for something easier to train and one that is really eager to please me and wants to be with me all the time.
    My Cosmo really spoiled me....her brain must be all poodle because she is so smart and was so easy to train. She kind of just has this sixth sense that knows what we wanted. And I love that Cosmo smiles.
    Molly is really sweet and adorable but the beagle in her is stronger than the poodle I think. She is just more stubborn and not quite as bright and doesn't care about pleasing us unless it also pleases her. And the nose to the ground drives me a little crazy....hard to potty train when she looked like she was looking for a spot all the time. She has gotten better outside coming when called even if sniffing something cool.

    Collies....I just wish that they were smaller. I thought about a sheltie because that is the right size but it seems like they are known to be yappy.

    What I don't like is drool. Loose lips like my MIL's springer had. Short coats....I like a shaggy fluffy dog. Really smushed faces. And not a hound....a part hound dog once was enough for me.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    We've been talking off and on about what 'type' of dog we wanted to get. My husband keeps talking about a 'labrapoodle' or 'labradoodle' or some weird combination that I can never remember I would like to get a mid-size dog, maybe an Australian Shepherd or something similar. My aunt had an Australian Shepherd/Collie (I think?) mix when I was younger and she was THE best 'kid dog' and so, so smart. It was heart breaking when she passed. I've been wanting to ask my Aunt what exactly her mix was, but I haven't wanted to upset her (they never got another dog after her).

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  6. #42606
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    Aussies of either kind (Mini or not) usually require work. They need their brain engaged. Since most people can't set them on sheep, they find other sort of stuff to keep their mind and body engaged, which is why they are so often found in dog sports (agility, flyball, frisbee, etc.). Neither Aussies, nor BCs have the kind of energy that is generally abated by what I'd term "mindless" activities (like jogging/running), unless there are also purposeful activities involved (like herding or other active training, like obedience work, ongoing for practically their entire lives). In my book, they're only a peg lower in how much work is required to maintain them than BCs, and I personally wouldn't touch one with a 10 ft. pole (mind you, I like working dogs, and can handle Dobermans, Rotties, GSDs, Huskies, Malamutes, etc.). They require more mental work than I'm willing to put in, especially with a kid around, who sucks up SO much time. Not to mention, being herding dogs, they're generally NOT good around little kids, and they are also stand offish with strangers, which is harder to make work, if you have a house with say, visiting friends of kids.

    I am surprised to hear that you like shaggy/fluffy dogs. Because you got poodle mixes, I thought you preferred the non-shedding kind.

  7. #42607
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    Christina, a "labradoodle" is a Labrador Retriever x Poodle mix. They are hugely popular, and there are generally tons available in rescues and shelters. They are purported to be hypoallergenic and/or low shedding, but a lot depends on which side of the ancestry the coat stems from. Pretty much all the ones I've met have been big, goof, highly energetic dogs, with coats that required a lot of grooming.

  8. #42608
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    Yeah DH definitely said no border collie and he's weary of the aussie too. I might have to rethink it. If I could just get my head around a bigger dog a collie or poodle it would be I think. Biggest thing I think is we need a family loving dog. I want a dog that wants to be always around me and we spend most of the time at home.

    Yeah not shedding used to be a big deal for me. Growing up the two cockapoos we had didn't shed so it was an easy choice to get another cockapoo. Except turns out that Cosmo sheds. LOL Her coat is very spaniel...so she sheds and gets cut at the groomers. Molly sheds even more. Enough that I get the clumps floating on the kitchen floor and I brush her a few times a week. She has never been to a groomer....we cut her nails ourselves and the only cutting of her hair has been around her eyes.
    My very first dog when little was a mini poodle. AFter that was two cockapoos. My parents currently have a bichon/shih tzu mix...cute but so hard to housebreak and not the brightest dog so we wouldn't do that again. My DH grew up with springers and they are not my favorite.

    I have always been partial to a poodle long as they are not show cut. My DH loves a beagle but I didn't want a full one. So when I saw an ad at work that someone had an accidental litter of puppies with a beagle mom and poodle dad (her kids accidently let the two dogs together out on the farm)....I got DH to go look at them and we came home with Molly. Before that I kind of thought that we would get another cockapoo but where we got Cosmo, the prices are outta control.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  9. #42609
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Christina, a "labradoodle" is a Labrador Retriever x Poodle mix. They are hugely popular, and there are generally tons available in rescues and shelters. They are purported to be hypoallergenic and/or low shedding, but a lot depends on which side of the ancestry the coat stems from. Pretty much all the ones I've met have been big, goof, highly energetic dogs, with coats that required a lot of grooming.
    Agreed on the coats! I HATE when they claim poodle mixes to be non-shedding. I got proof that isn't always the case with both my poodle mixes. In both my girls cases, I actually met both parents as they were on site.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    I always forget how knowledgeable you are about different breeds Suja. I am.... not. Growing up we always had 'ker' dogs and than family friends had various hunting dogs and than Fatboy was a random bulldog mix.

    What we need is a good family friendly and honestly, low maintenance (i.e. easy to train/short hair/etc), dog for our next pet. I'm hoping we found an older, but loveable dog when we are ready.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  11. #42611

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    Going back to looking cute in the kitchen (because I don't have much input on dogs), I think I must look super cute while handling dangerous things in the kitchen too. Knives, hot pans, boiling water, let's face it, the kitchen is a death trap even when you're not being grabbed from behind. Not to mention, do you want me to screw up your food?

  12. #42612
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    Christina, I consider myself a dog person. I love dogs, I read about training, behavior, breeds, etc. It's something I enjoy.

    If you're looking for just a VERY GOOD DOG, you're in luck. Shelters and rescues are overrun with them. They may not be cute, or handsome, but they will be wonderful with everything around them, and just be everyone's best buddy.

  13. #42613

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    If you're looking for just a VERY GOOD DOG, you're in luck. Shelters and rescues are overrun with them. They may not be cute, or handsome, but they will be wonderful with everything around them, and just be everyone's best buddy.
    Like.

    Jennifer, I love wheatens. They are gorgeous, if you can deal with their terrier center-of-the-earth personalities. If I had one, I wouldn't clip the tail, though (owners of wheatens tend to do that). I imagine it must hurt like a motherfather (<-- DH's & my new "swear" word) to have your tail lopped off.

    Chrissy, I'm late to the game again, but congrats again on the baby girl!

    Xtina, fingers crossed that you can work it out with your manager, so it works out for your family too. Would you continue to do both the teller & MFA jobs if you accept? At least doing two different things would break up the tedium. But working with the senior MFA sounds like it'd be a drag. Also, I hope William slows down too. At least, when baby is born, he's gonna have to, at least for a little while.

  14. #42614

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Going back to looking cute in the kitchen (because I don't have much input on dogs), I think I must look super cute while handling dangerous things in the kitchen too. Knives, hot pans, boiling water, let's face it, the kitchen is a death trap even when you're not being grabbed from behind. Not to mention, do you want me to screw up your food?
    Oh, Kate, you're getting me all excited thinking about it. LOL. Does your DH like it when you slow-cook things in your crockpot?

  15. #42615
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    Myles, docking is typically done at a very young age, 2-3 days old. Apparently, the pups barely notice (the bones/nerves aren't fully formed at that point), and the recovery is quick.

  16. #42616
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    Oh how it wish tail docking was illegal here like the UK. Most cockapoos have them docked...both mine did growing up. I was so happy that Cosmo's wasn't. I just LOVE her tail....it's so much more expressive than a short little docked one.

    My sister got her lab mix from the shelter. And both her cats. And now has a momma cat and kittens she is fostering until the kittens can get fixed. her lab mix is a pretty cool dog. Hard to believe that he was brought in. One thing though is you get a dog with baggage.....like hers will NOT do stairs other than 1-2 steps into the house. They have thought of ways to get this 70 lb dog in the basement should they have for a tornado. most involve pushing and shoving him.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  17. #42617
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Christina, I consider myself a dog person. I love dogs, I read about training, behavior, breeds, etc. It's something I enjoy.

    If you're looking for just a VERY GOOD DOG, you're in luck. Shelters and rescues are overrun with them. They may not be cute, or handsome, but they will be wonderful with everything around them, and just be everyone's best buddy.
    That is something we've told about quite frequently and is honestly my preference. To find a shelter dog that is already house trained - HEAVEN! DH is nervous though since we'll have little kids and he always worries about not knowing an animals background, that and of course getting attached to an older dog, which he automatically correlates with having less time with. Did I mention he still hasn't taken down Fatboy's area? I moved a few things the other day when I was mowing and his face about broke in two - he's really struggling to deal with it still

    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Xtina, fingers crossed that you can work it out with your manager, so it works out for your family too. Would you continue to do both the teller & MFA jobs if you accept? At least doing two different things would break up the tedium. But working with the senior MFA sounds like it'd be a drag. Also, I hope William slows down too. At least, when baby is born, he's gonna have to, at least for a little while.
    I would be primarily on the MFA side, but wouldn't have to do certain things (mortgages for instance). Generally TFA's (the title name) open new accounts, take loan applications (but don't issue them), set up automatic payments, things of that nature. I would also keep a drawer on the teller side so that I can hop on should they need the extra help.

    Being that I am, for lack of a better term, stuck here til the end of next year (and really I don't think i'll be comfortable job hunting til the pumping at work thing is no longer a factor) it would be a way to add a bit of variety to my resume. I've only had two jobs - Retail and than Teller, consistently, but still it's kind of boring

    Yeah, the Senior MFA is toxic, seriously. It's not too bad now because I don't report to her at all, but over there - she's basically IT if the branch manager isn't here THAT would be something I'll have to bring up with my manager, because I adamently refuse to go to her for anything and will NOT have her speak to me the way she does the other MFA's. Both the other MFA's on that side have applied at the new branch that will be opening in October (one already got the position and the other is waiting for the interview still) and everyone in the branch knows why, considering they are lateral moves, with a father drive. Hm....

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  18. #42618
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    My ex used to grab and hump me from behind every time I bent over to get something out of the oven or load a dish in the dishwasher. It. Drove. Me. Crazy. And not in the sexy way. In a jumpy way, like I'm feeling I'm being surprise-attacked and it's taking all of my self-control not to stomp on a foot and put an elbow up in the nose. Even when I knew he was coming it still bothered me, and I don't mean hot and bothered, if you haven't already realized how emphatic I'm being. We talked about it plenty of times, but he kept telling me I should take it as a compliment that I was so irresistible when I bent over in the kitchen.

    I wish I could have some kind of happy medium. It seems like a lot of men have this urge when women are busy in the kitchen, though. And incidentally, whenever I see a sex scene in a movie that involves the man sweeping a whole bunch of dishes or papers off a table or desk after the couple gets so overwhelmed with lust that they just have to do it on the nearest elevated flat surface, I get really annoyed and think about the mess. They couldn't do it on the floor? Or standing up? Or on a chair? Why break all of the dishes? I bet the guy's not going to clean it up.

    Suja, I'm really sorry you and your dh are not in agreement about the timing for getting another dog, and how best to go through the grieving and recovery process. When I lost my baby, it really helped to have the thought of another baby as a goal and something to focus on, and I was really glad that my dh was ready to go at the same pace I was. I would have had a much harder time not having a future baby to think about. Can you talk to him a little more and get a sense of timing or maybe come to a compromise?

    And Gwenn, I would be very upset about the quotes, too. If it's too difficult to get a new container, is there any way to remove the quotation marks? What kind of material is it? Or at this point, call them and let them know it's still bothering you every time you look at it, and ask them what they would recommend for a solution?

    Bridget, I'm sad to hear that Apple's neck is still raw. I hope she's doing better.

    I have the day off today and the twins are at camp and S. is at preschool. I have to write and publish a newsletter, so I need to get off the forum and back to work, but I'm tired and cranky. Not as bad as DH, though. He was up until 3 AM trying to prepare a presentation that he was told yesterday he needed to do today for hundreds of people across multiple time zones, so he has to give it twice, once at 8 AM and once at 5 PM, and it was a topic he wasn't that familiar with and he had to prepare all new slides and create the entire powerpoint presentation and the talk. He was incredibly stressed. I think he's starting to have some regrets about this new job. And they scheduled him to go to China for three weeks without discussing the timing with him, and it's right at the same time as our weekend trip to Wyoming and another weekend camping trip we have reservations for. I think I may have to get a tent that I can set up by myself and go camping without him.

    All right, back to work.


  19. #42619

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Oh, Kate, you're getting me all excited thinking about it. LOL. Does your DH like it when you slow-cook things in your crockpot?
    Naw, it's not old-fashioned enough. I have to be sweating over the stove or manually chopping things. And barefoot. Thankfully not pregnant.

    Lydia! You crack me up. I can't stand those overly dramatic love scenes either.

  20. #42620
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    Lydia!!!


    I want a Labradoodle in the worst way. Tif's mom has some freaking ADORABLE ones. I fell in love with Masie (Tif's dog) from afar and have coveted her for years now.

    Christina, don't feel bad. I just told Conner he didn't have to bath as much in the summer time because of the pool time he gets during the day. It's true! I started that practice with Bobbie & Jesi and it didn't hurt them none.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  21. #42621

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    People can't believe we got Bo from a shelter. Not only is he a Very Good Dog but he's pure beagle and a very cute one at that. The only thing is that he's very annoying when he's hungry and he's perpetually hungry. We cannot leave him out of his kennel when we go out even though we tried many times. He gets food out of the pantry.

  22. #42622
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    Kate beagles are known for being piggies. I guess my MIL grew with a beagle that was like 50-60 lbs! I don't know if that is true but from what I heard he was huge.
    I think is why I cannot get Molly to keep out of the dishwasher when I open it. she knows it's naughty but doesn't have impulse control to resist her nose. And she's NOT picky. She will eat just about anything. Cosmo definitely is much more picky. Tried a small piece of strawberry...cosmo spits it out and Molly gobbles it up. Banana same thing.

    Bo is adorable! Is there a way to dog proof the pantry when you are not home? Maybe like child proofing stuff? We still crate Molly but she's not even 2 year. I'm hoping to get to that point in the next year or so. Cosmo AKA perfect dog LOL.....was still crated when we were out until a bit after 2 I think.

    My sister's shelter dog is really pretty nice minus that he doesn't seem to like Cosmo and she doesn't seem to like him. He's fine with my parents two boys and cosmo is fine with pretty much all other dogs she has met.

    My parents other dog was found on the street. He had a collar and was chipped and when they brought him in the shelter, the guy listed on the chip said it wasn't his dog. They watched ads for a while but never found his family....or did but he wasn't wanted. I don't know why....he's pretty good too and is housebroken, listens pretty well. Isn't mean, gets along with kids and dogs, and is really friendly....he's a chewennie. They ended up just keeping him.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  23. #42623

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    Yeah, I was just thinking we could put a child proofing thing on it, but he doesn't mind his crate and we don't have to worry about what else he can get into.

  24. #42624
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    True! Our main reason for still crating Molly is that we don't trust her yet to leave it alone if Cosmo goes potty. A beagle will eat anything!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  25. #42625

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Oh, Kate, you're getting me all excited thinking about it. LOL. Does your DH like it when you slow-cook things in your crockpot?
    That would be like tantric foreplay.

    Lydia, the sweeping things off tables bugs me too. I would find that supremely distracting, even though I don't get fussy about messes.
    That presentation your dh had to do sounds so stressful. I hope they go well for him. When's your weekend camping trip? Maybe you could get another family (ahem!) to go with you so you'd have adult company and someone to help set up your tent.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  26. #42626

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    True! Our main reason for still crating Molly is that we don't trust her yet to leave it alone if Cosmo goes potty. A beagle will eat anything!
    Yeah, if the cats throw up and we don't get to it fast enough, he'll eat it. Yuck!

  27. #42627
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Yeah, if the cats throw up and we don't get to it fast enough, he'll eat it. Yuck!
    That is pretty yuck. Though I think Molly's yuck is worse! LOL She's doing it less and less (though we try to limit her exposure). So I keep hoping that eventually she will give it up.

    Speaking that....those of you with big dogs....what do you do with the poo? I feel like I already see enough of it and my girls are smaller and mostly eat a high quality dog food. I just wonder if I am missing out on a really cool way to dispose of it other than baggies which than going into the metal what I call sh*t can. Which is in my garage and is smelly this time of year. That also is bagged so it ends up double bagged.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  28. #42628
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    My dogs poop outside and periodically DH goes out and rakes it up. It gets bagged and put in the trash bin out by the curb. They don't poop on walks so I don't have any strategies for handling it other than that, really.

    And my dogs have always, always, always been into the cat box. All three of them. Really the only thing I have been able to do about it is keep it in a gated area so they can't get to it. Gwennie knows it's bad but apparently it's worth it. I wish you luck training Molly out of that one. If you manage to, I'd love to know what worked.

    I'm a big believer in gates, though. I have the kitchen area gated off, and the entire bedroom/bathroom section of the house is also gated off. Until puppy learns to listen more it's easier to prevent than discipline afterwards.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Actually I think eating poop is somewhat normal for dogs. I read somewhere that mama dogs eat their puppies' poop to keep their litter area clean. There is also a territory issue and dogs definitely use pee and poop to mark their ground. Sniffing and eating poop is how they learn about who is in their environment, communicate with other dogs in the area, and try to claim ground as their own. So you're working against a pretty steep instinct.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  30. #42630
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    Jennifer, I was just googling on the subject and read that a submissive dog will sometimes eat a dominant dog's poop. I bet that is what is happening with Molly.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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