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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #41701
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    I love tree frogs, I think they are adorable! Toads, not so much, but the ones we have here get like platter size - its freaky

    Maybe it is just that time of the year for air-outs with the SOs? We've been going through that here as well. Er maybe it is just because I am cranky and less likely to looks past annoying habits of his.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  2. #41702
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    LOL at the frog bouncing off the face, Jennifer. That's like a scene from a movie.

    I love your DH's description of that dog, Myles. That sounds like a cool dawg. There's an old guy who lives on our street who has a little Scottish terrier dog and they look just the same because of their matching grey beards!

    I'm glad you ladies have had some good talks with your SO's. We have similar chats like that because we are not arguers at all.

    I really enjoyed my day off work today. I got to take Travis to school and drop him off in his class, which I have sorely missed doing since going back to work full-time. I got some house-cleaning done and then met DH in town for lunch at our favorite American-influenced restaurant. After that, we went and test drove another car. On a side note, I hate dealing with slimey car salesmen! I really wish we could find a car through private sale instead. I hate the whole act they put on to try to get you to spend as much money as possible. My husband is a Yorkshireman and will never spend one penny more than he has to! LOL. After that, we went and picked both boys up from school/daycare and played out in the back yard when we got home.

    When I dropped the kids off this morning and got back in the car to drive home, I thought of a conversation I'd had with one of the other school mums. We were talking about us buying a car and how DH is really researching it down to the last detail and she said that she thought most men were like that with money. I smiled to myself as I drove along because I started thinking about how much my DH really does look after us. He does such a great job at making sure that I don't worry about money and that the kids have what they need. I just felt a surge of love for the ol' DH.

  3. #41703

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    I was on vacation last week (I always take memorial day week because both kid's bdays are that week). On memorial day weekend here the temps were in the 40's and there was some snow in the higher elevations. We spent a couple nights in the White mountains and went to a local little kid centered theme park monday wearing hoodies. Thursday through sunday, it was in the high 90's and we were roasting at the lake and the beach and now I'm sunburned. The weather here is so wacky.
    AKA Lisa724

  4. #41704

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    Welcome back Lisa. I saw what you said on FB about the shoes. Ha! That is so true.

    Ash, I think that is awesome that some little thing triggered a rush of luuurve for your DH. As my ex-BIL used to say, "he sounds like good people to me". I am so stuck on buying a car that I've just about given up on it. Nothing seems to get me excited. Also, stepping on a lot makes me automatically irritated. You do all this research online and KNOW what a car is worth, and then you see the dealer marked up a car by 25%. I don't even want to deal with that as a starting point of negotiation. I am very willing to (and would rather) buy a gently used car, if I can figure out what the heck I want. The fact that DH has just gotten himself a new truck has bought me some time because I can now tell him that I won't bring a new car home until he sells off his old truck. I don't want to pay insurance on 4 vehicles when we usually only pay for 2. One of DH's clients owns a Mini/BMW dealership and he's trying to talk me into one of those because he thinks he can get me a deal but... I just don't know. Minivans are looking mighty sexy to me right about now.

    Hey, so I remember the site where I found the awesome article I read yesterday, but I can't find the awesome article itself yet. Check it out. This woman addresses so many of the worries I have about my own marriage, and she comes at it from a Buddhist standpoint: http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/

    I'll try to find that article when I get another chance.

  5. #41705
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    Awww, I get that way about my DH sometimes too.

    I am lucky in that we almost always buy new cars and don't end up with crummy sales people. Actually last two were the same guy. I get employee discount so the price is what it is. I will flat out tell them today we are just LOOKING and will not be buying. When I am ready to buy, I go in and say I want xyz find it for me and they do.

    I LOVE my minivan. It really makes travel so comfortable and easy. Plenty of room for all our junk and the dogs and someday a baby. On the vacation we put one of the middle seats down.....I have a caravan so have the stow and go seating....and MIL sat behind me and on floor by her was the cooler and snacks. When we didn't have her but the dogs, middle seats were both down and Cosmo had the floor and one of the back sections was down for Molly's kennel. It was nice to be able to change the configuration on the go and not have to plan ahead and leave seats in our garage.
    And now that I'm used to driving up high and having a great view, I don't like sitting in a car. I could actually see over the snowbanks we had this winter.....and that was quite a bit more snow than we normally do.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  6. #41706
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    We've narrowed our search down to either the Ford Escape or the Nissan Qashqai. We'll probably buy one gently used. I hate spending loads of money on cars when they depreciate in value so quickly.

  7. #41707

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    Oh, yay! I found the article on another site. I spent yesterday afternoon with the wife of the couple we know that just separated. I feel so bad for her, but in all honesty I know (and, more importantly, she knows) she will do fine without him. It's just the injustice of it all. IMO, the husband is being a total dirtbag. She was always the giver, the breadwinner, the housekeeper, the forgiver. He has a son from another marriage and she spent so much of her time looking after him on nights he had custody but was out of town. He had a job that took him away 2-3 nights a week and, in that other town, had a group of friends who were really immature and just partied all the time. A bunch of them had just gotten divorces, and some had new girlfriends, so I think he started thinking "why not me too?". He'd lost a ton of weight since the beginning of the year, and probably was attracting attention from women again. It came out that he had "just kissed" a couple of other women in the past 6 months. What's really surprising is that his first marriage ended when his first wife left him for his best friend with whom she'd been sleeping, and he'd confided in Steve last year how much that had hurt him. In fact, he was in therapy the first 5 years of their relationship before they got married specifically to deal with his first wife's infidelity. Anyway, he's making no sense. He doesn't want to be "a family man" anymore. He got himself a dark, crummy apartment so he can sit alone and read and think. He says that he won't ask her for alimony (with her income, she'd have to pay him $3k a month), but then he said "we need to talk about money because I can't afford a place by myself". I'm just shocked and sick for her, but she's got the right idea - doing pretty much what I'd be doing in her shoes - reconnecting with herself, examining the compromises she made and planning a trip to a surf camp in Central America.

    I'm a little uncomfortable at the thought of how I'll be around him the next time I see him. With what I know, I want to kick him squarely in the acorns repeatedly, but as the father of my son's best friend, I want him to know that we are around if he ever needs help with his boys. His older son is amazing - so smart, well-spoken, great with Legos, and a great older brother. His mom (the ex-wife) got a divorce earlier this year (yes, from the former best friend of B's bestie's father). So this is the 3rd parental breakup he'll have endured. That poor kid.

    Anyway, B's bestie's mom & I were talking about what it takes to feel satisfied in a relationship. With the recent dealings I'd had with the old flicker (I won't even call him an old flame), all this discussion pertained entirely to me as well. In fact, let's call her husband the extension of what I could have become if I hadn't drawn lines for myself. It's way too easy to think the grass is greener on the other side. I think satisfaction and gratitude are muscles you need to exercise regularly. It's also so easy for me to feel stressed out and then critical of my DH. Having conversations is something we've always struggled with because he just rambles so much and is very quick to stretch the truth. Then I get snippy and it shuts down discussion. And yesterday, on our hike, I found myself very annoyed at his sense of humor, which is so different from mine.

    Anyway, so the timing of me finding this article was perfect. It's really long (but very germane to a number of conversations I've been having lately) so I'll just paste in the paragraphs I liked here.

    Couples often settle for closeness and safety instead of intimacy. Intimacy is about a willingness to fully know another and a willingness to let them know you, not only who you are, but what you’re thinking and doing. Part of what makes emotional and physical affairs so appealing is intimacy. Almost anybody can be intimate in an affair, but can they do it in a marriage? That takes hutzpah...

    To avoid instability we settle for closeness, which is a pseudo-intimacy. Instability is minimized, but stability comes at the cost of passion. We pretend our wants are the same as our mate’s in an attempt to avoid conflict, but in the process it often feels we’ve lost our soul. We have the security and safety we thought we wanted, but it leads to monotonous monogamy.

    We’re not victims however, my passion is my responsibility not my mates, and choosing an emotional affair to address unmet needs is certainly easier in the short run, but it never helps us mature. Anyone can do intimacy in a romantic relationship, but can they learn to do it in a long-term committed relationship? In the emotional affair intrigue and mystery are abundant, but do you know how to keep intrigue and mystery alive in a marriage? The paradigm of closeness and security require us to truncate our mate, making assumptions about their motives and thoughts to fit how we choose to see them. To admit that maybe we don’t fully know them opens us up to a world of discovery and unpredictability. While that may be exciting for those in the beginning stages of a relationship or in an affair, it’s both challenging and rewarding for those in a marriage.

    Passion and eroticism require distance, not sameness. The security generated by closeness can cause our mate to feel more like a sibling rather than a lover. Eroticism is about the ongoing expression of desire for our mate. It requires individual sovereignty where I take responsibility for my own desire and arousal, not abdicating my responsibility by placing that burden on my mate. It’s refusing to believe I know my mate and instead choosing to see them as a deep mystery that I could spend 100 years trying to uncover only to still be surprised. It’s not my mate that has to change, for passion to occur I have to change how I see my mate and be honest with myself about who I am.

    Maintaining passion also requires the courage to accept the “shadow of the third.” How quickly we forget the gift given by our mate when they choose to spend their life with us. There is no shortage of people who would love to be with them, but they choose us. Devaluing our mate by failing to remember there are others who would certainly love to be with them, but for some strange reason they continue to be faithful to us robs us of a true appreciation of their love. An appreciation for the shadow of the third reminds us of the value of our mate’s ongoing commitment.
    Isn't that lovely and insightful?
    Last edited by demigraf; 06-03-2013 at 04:38 PM.

  8. #41708

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Isn't that lovely and insightful?
    The excerpt, not the other 200 paragraphs I wrote...

  9. #41709

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    Myles, you crack me up. It was all insightful, including the 200 original paragraphs. I always like to read what you have to say. Funny how you describe convos with your dh because I feel similar in mine. Oy, the exaggeration. I find myself obsessing about it and focusing on him saying, "the 2 hour drive from the airport" when I know darn well it's a 45 minute drive. I think my greener grass is just being alone in all honestly. I never look at another man and wonder what life would be like with him. Well, I shouldn't say never. But very rarely and never with someone that I am still in contact with so likely any daydreams I have are based on a few nights where too much tequila was involved and we had SO MUCH in common. lol

  10. #41710
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Myles, you crack me up. It was all insightful, including the 200 original paragraphs. I always like to read what you have to say. Funny how you describe convos with your dh because I feel similar in mine. Oy, the exaggeration. I find myself obsessing about it and focusing on him saying, "the 2 hour drive from the airport" when I know darn well it's a 45 minute drive. I think my greener grass is just being alone in all honestly. I never look at another man and wonder what life would be like with him. Well, I shouldn't say never. But very rarely and never with someone that I am still in contact with so likely any daydreams I have are based on a few nights where too much tequila was involved and we had SO MUCH in common. lol
    I'd add to that that I never looked at anyone else and wondered what life would be like with them either. Not even with John. That whole thing blind sided me.

    If I ever did fantasize about a different life, it was brief and in a light sense-not real. Not something I felt I really desired. And it was extremely rare to even do that much.

    eta: I'll go further and state I really couldn't relate to those paragraphs at all. Rich & I didn't suffer from lack of passion by any stretch of the imagination, and with rare exception I think I was getting it more than 5 of my closest friends even after 19 years. And it was good. I felt we were intimate too...well, up until the very end where the alcoholism took over everything.

    My greatest fear now is never, ever having the type of relationship that Rich & I had while it was great. Because we had it. I know we did.
    Last edited by missychrissy; 06-03-2013 at 06:47 PM.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #41711
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    Ah that was interesting. And I could relate and not relate. I have been with my DH for 15 years so we are ones that know each other super well. Add to the fact that we don't have really outside friends that we spend time with.....so we are almost always together. I don't think that has hurt us in the passion department because that was something that we never were that strong in once past the new relationship make out for hours phase.....that was probably the first year or two. Had that been a big part of our relationship, it would have hurt I think to see that diminish.

    I have actually looked at others and wondered what it would be like to be married to them and was like ewwwww. I just find the grass awesomely green right where I'm not (not literally as my real grass is not so hot looking right now LOL). I have had dreams where I was dating someone and even those just feel too off to me.

    Now of course he's not perfect and drives me crazy at times....like he likes to whistle. A lot. I know he does it when in a good mood so that is great and he does it without thinking but still.......

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  12. #41712

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    That sounds nice, Chrissy.

    Having heat with someone whose mind you respect, whom you just want to know more and more about, and you like more and more each day is good goal to shoot for. I'd never quite thought of great romance that way, but I really like the way the article framed it.

    As I think about it, though, I have to say that DH has never shown much curiosity about me. He never asked me about my exes. He wasn't particularly interested in my travels. He just kind of laughs indulgently when i'm ibsessed with one hobby or another. The first time we spoke on the phone, he only talked about himself. He still tends to just talk about himself. I want him to be curious about me, and it kind of makes me sad that he isn't. Because I am awesome!

    Things still seem fine between us. It just struck me that, for someone who loves me, he's not all that interested in me. Hmm. Gonna have to think about that to see how I feel about it.

    I'm off to Oakland to have "second dinner" with a pregnant mama who's about to pop. Ethiopian food. Yum!

  13. #41713
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    **** you and your Ethiopian food and 200 paragraphs, Myles. Eat a little extra for me, will you? Not in the right frame of mind to read anything profound, so I'm going to skip that for now.

    I feel like all I've done today is to walk around like a zombie, and torture the cat. I need sleep in the worst way, so why the hell can't I sleep?

  14. #41714

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    I hope you're getting some good, quality rest right now, Suja.
    Big hug, because I'm assuming there was "love" behind the "****".

  15. #41715
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    Suja- I am so so so sorry!

    Bridget- I read somewhere that a child in the car is 7 times more distracting than a cell phone while driving. I imagine that number would be increased by an unhappy child. I know I get anxieties while Parker cries! I dunno if I would turn him, but I'm a totally paranoid crazy lady!


    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Rachel/Cama - How are you doing? I meant all week last week to reach out and say I'm sorry for the total MESS your ex- left you with. I hope we are some form of support for you.
    I'm alright. I feel better now that I have blocked that person and that they are aware that they hurt me by updating me. Not so much that what he is doing hurts, but more that nobody can respect my want for a clean break. At the end of the day as hard as it is doing everything alone, the hardest part is over. I've already said goodbye to my baby alone, it can't get worse than that. Going to the funeral home and filling out paper work, proof reading the death certificate and seeing an age of 52 minutes, and handing him to a nurse knowing it was the last time I would hold him. Those things were the hardest things to do. Dealing with two kids everyday on my own sucks. Trying to figure out the financials sucks. But it's not worse than what I have already done.

    He lied to me for over a year, was with someone else behind my back for a year, and was using me. I'm glad he married someone else and has left me alone. I got the better end of that deal.

    It feels good just to type this out here and there. I hope it's not horribly boring to you ladies! I hate getting emotional or talking about things with friends in person. It makes me uncomfortable, I'm just not emotional. This is kinda where i let it out.

    In other news, my friend came back from Mexico monday. We were at work yesterday, at church, and she says oh I have something for you. It is a keychain of a guy dressed in a cop outfit on a pole! You can move the little man up and down and around the pole. I about died... I love it!

  16. #41716
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    That sounds nice, Chrissy.

    Having heat with someone whose mind you respect, whom you just want to know more and more about, and you like more and more each day is good goal to shoot for. I'd never quite thought of great romance that way, but I really like the way the article framed it.

    As I think about it, though, I have to say that DH has never shown much curiosity about me. He never asked me about my exes. He wasn't particularly interested in my travels. He just kind of laughs indulgently when i'm ibsessed with one hobby or another. The first time we spoke on the phone, he only talked about himself. He still tends to just talk about himself. I want him to be curious about me, and it kind of makes me sad that he isn't. Because I am awesome!

    Things still seem fine between us. It just struck me that, for someone who loves me, he's not all that interested in me. Hmm. Gonna have to think about that to see how I feel about it.

    I'm off to Oakland to have "second dinner" with a pregnant mama who's about to pop. Ethiopian food. Yum!
    I understand what you're saying, and I'd feel the same way I'm sure. I'd only caution you (and anyone else) about letting anyone else-much less some article on the internet-dictate to you what constitutes a 'good' relationship. Just because you, as a couple, aren't hitting all those points that sound nice in theory doesn't mean you don't have an 'it' that can and will last till the end. I think relationships are as varied as individuals themselves and what works great for one couple doesn't necessarily mean it will work for another.

    Since it's still new, I can't quantify what my current relationship is, nor what it's gonne be like once we have some miles on us. But I must say, I'm curious. So far it's great and I do think it has the potential to be everything I could ever dream of. That said, it's vastly different from the one I had with Rich, even in our good years. Because John & I are different people than Rich & I. So one article about what makes a marriage (or long term relationship) work cannot apply. Does that make sense?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  17. #41717
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    That absolutely makes sense, Chrissy. I was only just thinking the other day about how dh and I spend most of our time together and would never do any big events like vacations separately andi was thinking to myself about how it seems like the majority of our friends do exactly that-girly cruises or bachelor weekends away in little obscure European towns. I have always kind of felt like we were oddballs or something for not doing what everyone else does, but it kind of hit me the other day that I don't need to strive to be what everyone else is. Maybe people see us as oddballs, but it doesn't matter to me because we are happy and our life is quite satisfying to us both.

  18. #41718
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    Chrissy, I totally agree that every marriage is different. What is satisfying to one person is frustrating to the next. The good thing about that is that instead of having to all look for the same thing, people are all different so there is someone out there for everyone.

    Rachael, I am so sorry ... That 52 minutes really got to me. You are right, it only gets better from there.

    Suja, hang in there. Thinking of you.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  19. #41719
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    I'll say the passion (for me) has diminished over the years. 99% of that is due to me being stretched in twenty different directions though and we still have tender moments here and there, which with our hectic lifestyle is more than enough most of the time.

    Our relationship is complicated and a plethera of 'issues' in one form or another. DH is very barely interested in me, at all. That has more to do with his lack of communication skills in general than anything. It's something that we've been working on, because his inability to communicate is not only hurtful in an emotional sense it causes mass chaos since he doesn't always include me on his thought process.

    I'll admit to being much more sensitive to this lately (hello hormones ). There are a lot of things, on a personal level, that I want to talk with him about but I always feel like he's not listening or he gets distracted and will leave mid-way through a conversation. I try to be patient, I know it is not something he does on purpose, but is still upsetting when I am trying to say something deep and meaningful and he leaves the room because he 'remembered that he forgot something' or something to that effect (undiagnosed ADD? Probably).

    Than of course there is me and my tendency to hide any vulnerability, than when I do show that vulnerability, I get shut down by my communication-less husband. It's a cycle, but that's what happens when two emotionally damaged people fall in love with one another, its a mess

    ETA: This makes very little sense. I am a mess with sinus issues right now and apparently composing thoughts in an order that makes any sense isn't happening. So feel free to ignore my rambling.

    ETA again... This makes it sound like my husband isn't caring or involved and he really is. He tries *so* hard and has made great advances. I think our situation is unique in that we both come from semi-abusive/neglectful backgrounds and it is not an easy cycle to battle. As much as we've moved past our childhoods and the way we were raised sometimes, sometimes it can come roaring back. I give us a 'D' for effort
    Last edited by Smplyme89; 06-04-2013 at 09:13 AM.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  20. #41720
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    Frog story from this morning.....

    Morning meeting here and there are 9(ish) of us here, including two grown men, and guess who got stuck climbing on the counter to chase the tree frog? Yupp

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  21. #41721

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    SCUBJIA!

    I have two cats. One of them has been having diarrhea and I took her to the vet and they gave her a powder I'm supposed to mix into her food. Problem is she and the other cat eat the same food so now I guess I have to feed the sick one up on the counter so the other one doesn't get the diarrhea medicine. Has anyone else dealt with something like this? I usually put two bowls down and let them graze all day but they don't stick to their own bowls.

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    Actually, I did follow that, Christina. LOL! I know what you mean.

    I often feel DH isn't taking an interest in me. He's been having a hard time lately and it's made him very impatient. With the end result that he often asks me to hurry up when I am telling a long story and I get so upset, I don't even want to finish it. He never used to do that to me. For now, I'm putting it down to stress, but of it continues, I might have a big problem with it.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  23. #41723
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    SCUBJIA!

    I have two cats. One of them has been having diarrhea and I took her to the vet and they gave her a powder I'm supposed to mix into her food. Problem is she and the other cat eat the same food so now I guess I have to feed the sick one up on the counter so the other one doesn't get the diarrhea medicine. Has anyone else dealt with something like this? I usually put two bowls down and let them graze all day but they don't stick to their own bowls.
    Put the sick cat in a separate room and feed her in there with the door shut until she is done. No other way to stop the other cat from getting at the food.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  24. #41724
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Actually, I did follow that, Christina. LOL! I know what you mean.

    I often feel DH isn't taking an interest in me. He's been having a hard time lately and it's made him very impatient. With the end result that he often asks me to hurry up when I am telling a long story and I get so upset, I don't even want to finish it. He never used to do that to me. For now, I'm putting it down to stress, but of it continues, I might have a big problem with it.
    Whew! I was totally confusing myself.

    Stress can definitely do that and I am sorry you are feeling shut down

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  25. #41725

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    Oh, I agree with you ladies, and some perfectly functional relationships that have shown some staying power still sound like my version of hell to me. Does it seem like I judge the merits of my marriage on everything I read? I hope not. Just the ones I happen to agree with. I personally did like the points the article cited and feel they're applicable to my relationship, and feel it put into words something that's long bothered me about our dynamic. Kind of ties into how I feel he's always talking at me rather than with me. I shared it with DH, actually, and told him to ask me one question about me. He asked me my favorite color. LOL. We'll have to work on him plumbing the depths of my soul and all that.

    Rachael... huge hug to you. You've been thru too much at such a young age. You've really shown a ton if grace so far, and everything you've endured has only fortified your character, it seems. Don't ever feel shy about sharing in here.

    Look at all the goofy worries I talk about.
    Last edited by demigraf; 06-04-2013 at 09:27 AM.

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    All worries are valid, imo. No matter how seemingly small. Rachael, I am so amazed at your grace. I know I have said it before but it is worth repeating. Did you find out he was cheating while you were pregnant? I cannot imagine. Myles, not to keep nodding in agreement at everything you say but I often feel like dbf doesn't know me at all. What we are working on now is him not cutting in while I am talking with something totally unrelated. He says it's hard for him to wait because he is afraid he will forget. Hmmm, that sounds an awful lot like a couple of children I know who get scolded by their father for not waiting their turn to talk....

  27. #41727
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Oh, I agree with you ladies, and some perfectly functional relationships that have shown some staying power still sound like my version of hell to me. Does it seem like I judge the merits of my marriage on everything I read? I hope not. Just the ones I happen to agree with. I personally did like the points the article cited and feel they're applicable to my relationship, and feel it put into words something that's long bothered me about our dynamic. Kind of ties into how I feel he's always talking at me rather than with me. I shared it with DH, actually, and told him to ask me one question about me. He asked me my favorite color. LOL. We'll have to work on him plumbing the depths of my soul and all that.

    Rachael... huge hug to you. You've been thru too much at such a young age. You've really shown a ton if grace so far, and everything you've endured has only fortified your character, it seems. Don't ever feel shy about sharing in here.

    Look at all the goofy worries I talk about.
    I'm rolling on the floor here. Rolling.

    Bridget, I think you need to add DBF to your social thinking group! You can practice taking turns in a conversation.

    By the way, I saw recently that the people who designed the curriculum you got came out with a new one targeted to preschoolers. They say it is good for young elementary as well. I thought of sharing it with you but knowing Kai, it would be too babyish for him.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  28. #41728

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    Thanks Mandy!

  29. #41729
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    14,694

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    I'm trying to think back to if my DH asked a lot of questions about me or not. He might have but it also might have been me asking him a question and after his response, telling him my thoughts on that question. We first got to know each other over emails for 2-3 months, a few weeks of VERY long...like 4-5 hours back when we had to pay for long distance, phone calls. Once we met in person, 3 dates later and we were an official couple. He's a different kind of guy though...really in touch with his emotions and is sensitive, a pretty good communicator with me at least and he cannot BS or lie. When we were in college, we had the benefit too of coming out of classes and talking about them (never had classes together). I would bring up whatever it was in one of my philosophy classes and he enjoyed talking about that with me (plus he always proofed my papers for me....writing isn't my strong suit).
    It is rare that he surprises me by this point....too many years together and well it's pretty predictable anyway. LOL


    Kate, I don't have cats but Cosmo gets medicine in dinner. I do that with just hers and end up giving her "special" people food with the medicine. Otherwise I leave out a bowl of dry dog food for both girls. Cosmo now loves medicine and if she hears the word, starts to bark and run around. It is a pain but necessary.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  30. #41730
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Does it seem like I judge the merits of my marriage on everything I read?
    No, not at all. My counter was just part of a conversation, that's all. And like I said, I have my own curiosities about how my newest one will pan out.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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