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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #41641
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlwonder View Post
    That's so much, Suja. I have started feeding my old cat with a syringe now because she just won't eat. Part of me thinks that I need to just let her choose whether to eat or not, but then I just want her to stay alive and think that maybe if she just gets something in her system that her appetite will kick back in.
    We did that with DH's chihuahua before she passed away. She hated it. Actually that was the biggest reason I agreed to put Nero down so quickly when we realized how sick he was. I was not going to put him through that. I hope your experience is more positive than ours was.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  2. #41642
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    We did that with DH's chihuahua before she passed away. She hated it. Actually that was the biggest reason I agreed to put Nero down so quickly when we realized how sick he was. I was not going to put him through that. I hope your experience is more positive than ours was.
    I hope that I have that strength with Cosmo. I think that might be our sign....when she no longer wants to eat, especially things like culvers, chinese and goldfish crackers.

    Is there any good reason I shouldn't give the girls goldfish? We tried some of the dog treats for training that were suggested and Molly thinks they are ok but doesn't do much for her in class when she's on stimulation overload. But I was getting some great sits, downs, settles, and such with goldfish.

    There is this baby toy in the gift shop and I want to buy it so badly for the dogs. it's a ball shaped thing with a tail and ears and has crunchy in the ears (which Molly loves in dog toys) and makes a nice tinkle sound. And generally they like a lot their stuffed toys that are sort of ball shaped and rounded. But it's $15 and we try to keep toys to $10 or less......

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  3. #41643
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    Jennifer, I'll make you a deal...I'll buy your dog her $15 toy if you buy Cramer his next one The last parrot toy I bought was $35. If I was smart, I'd make my own but I'm too busy. And when I'm not, I'm too lazy.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #41644
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    But how many toys can he play with at once? that is where I get in trouble with DH.....my girls have a basket that is laundry size that is heaping with toys. Add to that a garbage bag in the basement with backup toys. He goes through them once in a while and switches them out so they don't always have the same ones. LOL I'm bad and his mom is bad and rarely shows up to visit without a toy for each girl.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  5. #41645
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    No reason not to use goldfish, Jennifer. I prefer less crumbly things myself, because there is less potential for hoovering, instead of listening to me.

    Chrissy, I got sticker shock when I looked at bird stuff for my mom's birds. Then, it turns out, they are scared of new things, and wouldn't play with them anyway. Stupid birds.

  6. #41646

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    Suja, that's so hard with your dh. Has he gone to the ENT appointment yet? My mom once flew with an ear infection and actually, her eardrum did rupture (bleccch, I know!!!). She couldn't hear out of that ear for about a month, but it healed on its own, as her doctor said most do, and her hearing is fine. She had an actual ear infection, though, not just congestion/fluid. It does really sound like there's something else going on with your dh. It's a horrible trip to make and I'm sure he's just stressed and dreading seeing his dad for a final time, and trying not to think about the grief that is coming. Something like that could absolutely lead to avoidant behavior like not wanting to fly and coming up with excuses. I don't blame him at all for dreading it. Sometimes we just don't feel strong enough to deal, and I think men in particular are more prone to not being able to voice or confront the feelings, so they cast about for other excuses. Death and dying lead to so many complicated emotions, too -- as a parent, he's probably feeling a new realization of his own mortality, and facing his father's probably brings it to the forefront. Anxiety in that situation is totally normal, especially regarding something like flying. I know several parents who loved flying until they had kids, and then they developed a sudden fear.
    It's so good that he has you, though, because if he can work through this and make himself go, he will be so glad he did.
    I'm so sorry to hear about Pan, too. You really deserve a break.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  7. #41647
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    He went to the ENT yesterday. His ears are fine. He keeps saying that he feels dizzy/faint, and when he wakes up, that there is water in his head. I went through anatomy, and explained how there isn't any actual space for water to be in his head (barring his middle ear and sinuses), and maybe he has a sinus issue. My gut feel is that he has/had something viral that has knocked him for a loop, and in conjunction with dealing with Khan's death, his dad's health, and Pan's upcoming end - maybe it is just all too much for him to handle.

    I think that I need to back off and just be supportive for now. He has flight tickets for Sunday. I'll just make sure that he gets rest between now and then. He is really, really tired all the time, too tired to even want to play grab-ass, and that has NEVER happened in the almost 18 years we've been married.

  8. #41648

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    Janet, hugs! We're here whenever you want to vent. I'm so sorry you're struggling.

    Bridget, I think I'd try turning him, too. I wanted to wait as long as possible to turn Noe because she also was slender and just seemed sort of delicate. But at around 2.5 she just seemed really uncomfortable and unhappy in the car. DH convinced me to try turning her and it really did help a lot. I do think about the safety issue, but you know -- there are no guarantees in life, no matter how careful we are. And I totally agree with the folks who said it's much less safe for everyone in the car for you to be distracted by screaming. Balance as best you can for everyone, and trust the universe with the rest.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  9. #41649
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    Quote Originally Posted by pepperlru View Post
    My mom once flew with an ear infection and actually, her eardrum did rupture (bleccch, I know!!!). She couldn't hear out of that ear for about a month, but it healed on its own, as her doctor said most do, and her hearing is fine. She had an actual ear infection, though, not just congestion/fluid.
    I was going to say that, too - the worst he could do is rupture his eardrum, and that would be a temporary loss that would almost certainly heal on its own. Not pleasant, mind you, but not something that could permanently damage his hearing.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  10. #41650
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    Well once in a while eardrums don't fix themselves. Usually they do though so unless he's had a history of that, i woudln't worry.
    My sister has actually had a number of ear surgeries....at least two were to fix her eardrums and he to take skin from behind her ear and graft it on. Last one was in a bad spot so he had to cut behind the ear and flip the entire thing forward to get the graft in.
    But she is rare I think....had tons of sets of tubes, a number of these grafts and gets what they call "pearls".

    I think it has to be at least 8 years since the last surgery though so maybe at 30 she has outgrown it?

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  11. #41651
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    Some people do seem to be prone to eardrum issues ... I've seen a few kids at work with that history. But it seems like people with that problem know they have that problem from young. And like you said, it can be fixed surgically. Not like inner ear damage which is permanent.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  12. #41652
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    I have no doubt that ear problems-in general-are somehow genetically connected. I've never had an ear infection in my life. Neither have either of my parents, my brother, or any of my children. Rich hasn't ever had one either.

    Instead, we're all just crazy.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  13. #41653
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    I've never had an ear infection, Nolan never had one either. Don't know about hubs though, its nearly impossible to even get pictures of him growing up, more or less any specific information.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  14. #41654
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    Likelihood of getting ear infections actually has to do with the curve of your Eustachian tube, so it's absolutely all about genetics. It's also why babies are more likely to get them than adults. Babies' Eustachian tubes sit in a different place relative to the ear and they move as kids grow. Some kids get them way more than others, and it all has to do with where the tubes are.

    Just another useless piece of information, thanks to yours truly.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  15. #41655
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Likelihood of getting ear infections actually has to do with the curve of your Eustachian tube, so it's absolutely all about genetics. It's also why babies are more likely to get them than adults. Babies' Eustachian tubes sit in a different place relative to the ear and they move as kids grow. Some kids get them way more than others, and it all has to do with where the tubes are.

    Just another useless piece of information, thanks to yours truly.
    That's cool to know! My co-workers little boy had what seemed like ear infection after ear infection, I always felt so bad for him

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  16. #41656
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    Yeah I seem to recall being told that sister has weird shaped ears. The inner, not outer. :p But we knew from little on that she was weird like that. I don't recall ever having an ear infection....I was all about the strep throat and asthma instead. We both saw the same ENT...and my parents too us to Milwaukee for that, didn't trust the smaller town doctors.

    Two worst things about grafting the ear drum...when the hair grew back behind the ear that plus stitches drove her crazy. And when she got home, any sound hurt her a lot until the ear adjusted to not having a hold in the drum. I mean we could hardly whisper around her.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  17. #41657
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    That's cool to know! My co-workers little boy had what seemed like ear infection after ear infection, I always felt so bad for him
    See in the picture I linked, how the tube is almost horizontal? For some babies, the tubes truly are horizontal and those are the babies who are super prone to ear infections. In the adult, it slopes down so it can drain more easily.

    http://www.walgreens.com/marketing/l...9596&doctype=2
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  18. #41658
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    Mira was one ear infection away from ear tubes as a baby. Then, it magically went away. Knock on wood, she hasn't had one in over a year.

  19. #41659

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    SCUBJIA!

    I'm so relieved it's Friday and I can actually sit down and say hello from my couch, although I don't exactly have a restful weekend ahead of me. Some friends with a little one B's age had a newborn last Saturday, and we've been trying to help. They live quite a distance away so driving has taken a good amount of our time. And work hasn't let up, but it's actually fine there. I don't feel ready to make a change right now, but with the bites I've been getting, I feel good that I have good prospects if I ever wanted out. Surfer mama moved out of state, today, so there were some last few playdates to say goodbye. On top of all that, the parents of Bodhi's bestie, S, (I talk about him all the time in here but now I feel weird using his name) have split up, and I am also helping his mommy establish an identity outside of her marriage. I'm actually really sad for them. I loved them as a couple. My point to this paragraph is just a quick catchup on where I've been.

    Anyway, Suja, I'm so sorry for all that your DH is going through, and the spillover effect it's had on your life. I hope this too will pass soon for you. Letting him have his rest seems a sound plan. I hope he'll get his grab-assiness mojo back before he takes off (at least as a sign that he's on the mend.) Hugs to you. I wonder if the old scuba-diver-with-a-cold's trick of taking Sudafed before a pressure change would help protect his ear? There's a little bit of info about it online if you want to see if that would help.

  20. #41660
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    Myles, that's part of the plan. He is armed with antibiotics (taking it now), Singulair (in case it is related to allergies), air planes ear plugs (that allows the ears to slooowly adjust to the pressure differential), Afrin (for taking during the flight, an hour before take off and landing), and Sudafed. There really isn't anything else anyone can do. I think that what he needs most is rest. He went to bed early, and hopefully can sleep in, and maybe wake up a little more refreshed.

    I just got off the phone with his mom. Poor thing is now worried that DH will have some sort of issue. She said that FIL is old, and if it is his time, we can't change fate, but it would be awful if DH went there to be with his dad, and then got ill because of it. She is such a lovely woman; entirely too nice for the world we live in.

  21. #41661

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    His mom is looking out for her son, and that is so sweet of her. Your DH would probably greatly regret it if he didn't make this last effort to see his father.

  22. #41662
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    Can I just say, I've never been more happy I have teenagers! I've been running all day (all of it centered around kid activities) and it's not even 8:00 and I'm completely spent. Syd took Conner and his friend to the park and I'm being lazy on my couch. Hoping to recuperate before they get back

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  23. #41663

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    Lucky mama.

    Recuperate from what? ;)

  24. #41664
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Lucky mama.

    Recuperate from what? ;)
    Just from being busy with the kids all day. They're all still going strong & I'm ready for bed. I did take a 1 hour nap on the couch while they were at the park.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  25. #41665

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    Hey, you guys have been quiet! I expected, since I hadn't checked in since Thursday, that I'd have pages to catch up on. I guess you all were as busy as I was!

    I never had an ear infection.

  26. #41666
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    We found out on the way to the airport that FIL passed away.

  27. #41667
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    Oh, no, Suja! Did your DH still go?

    I am so sorry.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  28. #41668
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    Yes. It at least validated his decision to go (after a lot of angst on his part, and threats on mine). Back home, it is the son that performs the ceremony, and it would have been especially difficult for his mom and sisters if he had not.

  29. #41669
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Yes. It at least validated his decision to go (after a lot of angst on his part, and threats on mine). Back home, it is the son that performs the ceremony, and it would have been especially difficult for his mom and sisters if he had not.
    I am so glad he went, in that case. How heartbreaking that he just missed saying his goodbyes.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  30. #41670

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    Oh man, Suja, your DH's emotions must be running the entire gamut right now. I'm sorry for everybody's loss. I hope he has a safe journey, and he comes home to you with some peace of mind.

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