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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #4051

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    Quote Originally Posted by sunrider View Post
    I didn't even know there was going to be a religion box, LOL. I was thinking more indirect as far as comments by secular friends that she would see. And I know there are polls and quizzes you can take and aren't the results posted for people to see who are following you? Like if I take that religious poll, she'd see that my results do NOT say I'm part of "her flock".
    Ohhhh, I see your worry now. Duh. See how active I am on Facebook? LOL. Yea, I don't take quizzes, nor do I really do anything on there. I pop on once every two months to make sure everyone is still alive Now I can totally see why you'd think Facebook would "out" you. Maybe it's for the best that it happens sooner rather than later? I mean, if it happens now, you guys will have a few years to be all angry/shocked/upset at each other and hopefully by the time Liam is old enough to understand what's going on, things will be all smoothed out. I can't imagine going through something like that once my kids are old enough to understand that mommy and grandma are about to kill each other

    Quote Originally Posted by DucksLikeRain View Post
    I confess it makes me sad that you ladies' MILs are such that you fear being yourselves around them That kind of attitude on the part of any religious-or nonreligious-person ticks me off. It shouldn't matter what you believe, or don't believe. Not like it's affecting your MIL...although I'm sure she thinks otherwise
    So true.


  2. #4052

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    OH, and you don't have to post results of polls you take. It gives you the option to post or not after you take it.

  3. #4053
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    my mil thinks im relgious and changed iknow she does and it kinda skeeves me out..

    when matt told her i took cy to sunday school i could see she was elated..what he didnt tell her cause he is a pansy ass was that it was religoius ed at a UU fellowship..poor MIL now things im a good girl..**** it..facebook was what outed me to MIL..it was easy to put atheist on there and let everyone stumble across it and go OH MY

  4. #4054
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    you ladies are making me sad

    you need to be proud of who you are and what you do/dont believe..

    i think man i dont want my child ever growing up hiding anything about themselves and staying in the closet so not to rock a boat or because others will not like it or disagree..

    come out

  5. #4055

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    I'm proud of who I am, I don't hide **** from anyone in my family. They are all Christian or whatever, but I am definitely the most sane one out of all of them lol.

  6. #4056
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    Quote Originally Posted by stephmama View Post
    I'm proud of who I am, I don't hide **** from anyone in my family. They are all Christian or whatever, but I am definitely the most sane one out of all of them lol.
    yay

  7. #4057

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    And I know they aren't all crazy because they are Christian, that's not what I'm saying. They all have really big issues, and I'm happy as can be with my life. They preach that God will make it all better, but it's obviously not working for them. What I'm doing seems to be working, so I'm gonna stick with it.

  8. #4058
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    its all working but the





















    mullett

  9. #4059
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    I confess this will be the second day I have been off of work because of this freaking cold.
    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  10. #4060

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    Quote Originally Posted by Janeen View Post
    I confess this will be the second day I have been off of work because of this freaking cold.
    Oh no!!!


  11. #4061

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    I confess that I am uber cranky today! Super duper uber cranky

    How about..."Do what works for you" parenting

  12. #4062

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maur View Post
    I confess that I am uber cranky today! Super duper uber cranky
    *pat pat*



  13. #4063

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    Quote Originally Posted by WillowSpy View Post
    *pat pat*

    Thanks

    How about..."Do what works for you" parenting

  14. #4064

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    Quote Originally Posted by DucksLikeRain View Post
    I confess it makes me sad that you ladies' MILs are such that you fear being yourselves around them That kind of attitude on the part of any religious-or nonreligious-person ticks me off. It shouldn't matter what you believe, or don't believe. Not like it's affecting your MIL...although I'm sure she thinks otherwise
    Quote Originally Posted by sarahlynn View Post
    you ladies are making me sad

    you need to be proud of who you are and what you do/dont believe..

    i think man i dont want my child ever growing up hiding anything about themselves and staying in the closet so not to rock a boat or because others will not like it or disagree..

    come out
    Ladies, I'm sorry I'm making you sad.
    It's not something I'm happy about. At the moment I'm keeping my trap shut on the matter because I love my husband dearly and he's asked me to keep the peace for now. We both know there will come a day when Liam is older that this conversation cannot be put off. Tred and I are in 100% agreement that we want to raise him not with a specific religious belief, but to question everything and make his own decisions.

    You do all make me wonder if we shouldn't just get it out now and deal with it when L is little, versus causing a scene later when he's older. We figured it would become a hot topic when they start to push religion and attending church "for his sake". Frankly I'm surprised they haven't us about why he's not been baptized yet!

    Tred's parents would be big supporters of a dating service I heard about years ago that makes me laugh. Mostly because of the name - Equally Yoked. The concept that believers should not pair with unbelievers. They would be in a huge uproar if they knew their precious little god-fearing son was paired with a heathen wench like myself. Of course, their precious little christian boy is fiercely anti-organized religion and his beliefs differ greatly from his parents and sister, but they don't know that.

    I don't like hiding things about myself, and now that I'm OUT in my life, other than with them, it's difficult and challenging to watch what I do and say around them. After talking to her and reading LaurenB's blog, I started one of my own. Only it's not ALL that I wish it could be. I know that MIL reads it regularly, and so nothing is said about religion. I do swear in my writing, more than I do around her, but there are no religion/athiest references at all. And I HATE that I'm not being myself there.

    Seriously, maybe I should just go join Facebook and put athiest in there and see what happens.

    Ya'll are making me do some serious thinking for a Tuesday!
    Krista & Jonathan: Liam, our one and only, born 9 Sep 2008



  15. #4065
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunrider View Post
    Ladies, I'm sorry I'm making you sad.
    It's not something I'm happy about. At the moment I'm keeping my trap shut on the matter because I love my husband dearly and he's asked me to keep the peace for now. We both know there will come a day when Liam is older that this conversation cannot be put off. Tred and I are in 100% agreement that we want to raise him not with a specific religious belief, but to question everything and make his own decisions.

    You do all make me wonder if we shouldn't just get it out now and deal with it when L is little, versus causing a scene later when he's older. We figured it would become a hot topic when they start to push religion and attending church "for his sake". Frankly I'm surprised they haven't us about why he's not been baptized yet!

    Tred's parents would be big supporters of a dating service I heard about years ago that makes me laugh. Mostly because of the name - Equally Yoked. The concept that believers should not pair with unbelievers. They would be in a huge uproar if they knew their precious little god-fearing son was paired with a heathen wench like myself. Of course, their precious little christian boy is fiercely anti-organized religion and his beliefs differ greatly from his parents and sister, but they don't know that.

    I don't like hiding things about myself, and now that I'm OUT in my life, other than with them, it's difficult and challenging to watch what I do and say around them. After talking to her and reading LaurenB's blog, I started one of my own. Only it's not ALL that I wish it could be. I know that MIL reads it regularly, and so nothing is said about religion. I do swear in my writing, more than I do around her, but there are no religion/athiest references at all. And I HATE that I'm not being myself there.

    Seriously, maybe I should just go join Facebook and put athiest in there and see what happens.

    Ya'll are making me do some serious thinking for a Tuesday!
    I went through this whole religion thing with my MIL, before she was my MIL. We were at her house in Iowa visiting and I don't even remember what brought it up but religion came up and I started talking about how intrigued I was by DH's. Uhhhh, I quickly found out that she had NO idea that her son considered himself a witch and that he practiced bits of witchcraft. I got to sit on the porch and explain to this woman, who I had just met for the very first time about how her son DOES NOT put bad evil spells on people and how he DOES NOT worship anything even similar to a devil. Ohhhh that was grand. Poor DH. His family there in Iowa (mainly mom and aunt) are pretty "religious" (even though they pop pills, lie and still from each other) and they will try and shove God down your throat every chance they get.

    Anyhow, fast forward a couple of years? They were refusing to come to our wedding because it was part Pagan handfasting ceremony and part traditional wedding. They didn't feel comfortable because it wasn't going to be Christian and God wasn't going to be present. I sent them the typed out ceremony and they agreed that it was beautiful and not too over the top...they said they were coming...they never showed. Never called, never showed.

    Now as far as kids are concerned, I'll be ****ed if any of mine or his family is going to shove this crap (yes I said crap) down our child's throat. My sister makes jokes about how we need to know Christ, (she is hardly Christian ) and how I shouldn't celebrate Christmas if I don't believe in God. Ummm hello, I grew up celebrating it and it was NEVER centered around God when we were growing up. This last Easter I made a comment that I hope I feel Easter more when I have kids so they can hunt for eggs. Again, I shouldn't let my kid hunt for eggs because I don't believe in God is what I got.

    Okay yeah that turned into a long drawn out story...but, my point is that I would confront it sooner rather than later. (In case you didn't gather that)
    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  16. #4066

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    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    You made me remember the crap surrounding our wedding. It was a renaissancy type deal outside (no church for us, men in kilts, women in bodices showing lots of boobage), and we included a modified handfasting as part of the ceremony. Service performed by a friend who was ordained on line through a UU church. He put god in here and there just for Tred's parents (more than I really wanted, but oh well).

    Anyway, they heard "renaissance" and "handfasting" and quite seriously told Tred:
    "I'm sorry son, but if you're going to be sacrificing a goat at your wedding, we won't be able to attend."



    ETA: Almost 7 years later and we're still laughing about that poor goat.
    Krista & Jonathan: Liam, our one and only, born 9 Sep 2008



  17. #4067
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    If I remember correctly, ours didn't reference God once...only Goddess. They loved that.
    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  18. #4068
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    This was ours, modified a bit by ourselves and then the High Priest who performed the ceremony to make it more comfortable for him flow wise...

    This is the unmodified version.

    DH changed all of the God parts to Goddess though.

    [The following wedding ceremony was written to provide for Pagans who must of necessity be wed in the presence of the uninitiated who are not pagan and are perhaps unaware that the bride and groom are pagan. Replace the words Bride and Groom below with the names of the happy couple. This ceremony was used by both my wife and myself and by my sister and her husband. They modified the text at the point below where it says "loving each other wholly and completely" to add the phrase "forsaking all others" as they are into monogamy. Either version works beautifully, I recommend the participants rewrite where necessary to form a legal contract that they can and will keep. It is easy to avoid being an oathbreaker if you only swear to that that you will keep and avoid swearing to something just because the other party wants it or because it might be "expected" by the family. Notice: parts of this ritual were cribbed from the writings of others. I apologise in advance for failure to reference sources but after the fifteenth rewrite we had forgotten where we got the text and what was and what was not original to us. I doubt if there are quotes from other sources longer than paragraph length and thus should not be a copyright problem. If you see something that is yours, please send me mail and I will reference you in the future. Our thanks to those who paved the way. --Ryan Hunter]
    [

    PRIEST] We have come together here in celebration of the joining together of ____bride______ and ____groom______. There are many things to say about marriage. Much wisdom concerning the joining together of two souls,has come our way through all paths of belief, and from many cultures. With each union, more knowledge is gained and more wisdom gathered. Though we are unable to give all this knowledge to these two, who stand before us, we can hope to leave with them the knowledge of love and its strengths and the anticipation of the wisdom that comes with time. The law of life is love unto all beings. Without love, life is nothing, without love, death has no redemption. Love is anterior to Life, posterior to Death, initial of Creation and the exponent of Earth. If we learn no more in life, let it be this.

    Marriage is a bond to be entered into only after considerable thought and reflection. As with any aspect of life, it has its cycles, its ups and its downs, its trials and its triumphs. With full understanding of this, Groom and Bride have come here today to be joined as one in marriage.

    Others would ask, at this time, who gives the bride in marriage, but, as a woman is not property to be bought and sold, given and taken, I ask simply if she comes of her own will and if she has her family's blessing.

    Bride, is it true that you come of your own free will and accord?

    [BRIDE] Yes, it is true.

    [PRIEST] With whom do you come and whose blessings accompany you.

    [FATHER] She comes with me, her father, and is accompanied by all of her family's blessings.

    [PRIEST] Please join hands with your betrothed and listen to that which I am about to say.

    Above you are the stars, below you are the stones, as time doth pass, remember...

    Like a stone should your love be firm like a star should your love be constant. Let the powers of the mind and of the intellect guide you in your marriage, let the strength of your wills bind you together, let the power of love and desire make you happy, and the strength of your dedication make you inseparable. Be close, but not too close. Possess one another, yet be understanding. Have patience with one another, for storms will come, but they will pass quickly.

    Be free in giving affection and warmth. Have no fear and let not the ways of the unenlightened give you unease, for God is with you always.

    Groom, I have not the right to bind thee to Bride, only you have this right. If it be your wish, say so at this time and place your ring in her hand.

    [GROOM] It is my wish.

    [PRIEST] Bride, if it be your wish for Groom to be bound to you, place the ring on his finger. (places ring on Groom's left ring finger)

    Bride I have not the right to bind thee to Groom only you have this right. If it be your wish,say so at this time and place your ring in his hand.

    [BRIDE] It is my wish.

    [PRIEST] Groom, if it be your wish for Bride to be bound to you, place the ring on her finger.(places ring on Bride's left ring finger)

    (to Groom) Repeat after me:

    I, (grooms full name), in the name of the spirit of God that resides within us all, by the life that courses within my blood and the love that resides within my heart, take thee (bride's full name) to my hand, my heart, and my spirit,to be my chosen one. To desire thee and be desired by thee, to possess thee, and be possessed by thee, without sin or shame, for naught can exist in the purity of my love for thee. I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself.

    (to Bride)
    I (bride's full name), in the name of the spirit of God that resides within us all, by the life that courses within my blood, and the love that resides within my heart,take thee,(Groom's full name) to my hand, my heart, and my spirit to be my chosen one. To desire and be desired by thee, to possess thee, and be possessed by thee, without sin or shame, for naught can exist in the purity of my love for thee. I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint,in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself.

    [PRIEST] (hands chalice to the groom,saying) May you drink your fill from the cup of love.

    (Groom holds chalice to bride while she sips then bride takes chalice and holds it to groom while he sips. The chalice is then handed back to the Priest who sets it on the table. Next the Priest takes the plate of bread, giving it to the groom. Same procedure repeated with bread, groom feeding bride and bride feeding groom.)

    By the power vested in me by God and the State of [name] I now pronounce you husband and wife. May your love so endure that its flame remains a guiding light unto you.
    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  19. #4069

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    My MIL is Catholic but has never given me grief over UUism. Our wedding ceremony was done at a UU church and although I don't remember it verbatim, I don't think there was a mention of God. And I never got any grief about that either. I'm sorry some of you have friends and even family in your lives who feel so strongly about the need to include religion in your daily life. Actually I'm not sorry they feel that way, that's their choice, but I feel sorry that they have to impose it on you.l

  20. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by WillowSpy View Post
    I confess... has anyone seen Bean/Cass around? Is she doing ok? for Cass, where ever she may be.
    I have been wondering the same....

    I confess I think I will text her later... when its not quite so early there in Alaska...

  21. #4071

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    I've been thinking about Cass, and Rin too. You and all the other MIA ladies, please come back!
    Norah! (3 yr)

  22. #4072

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    I confess he is sooo cute, and I have a little crush. There is no way in hell that I can mention who he is though. I'm terrible, but I can't help it. And his smile. But yeah I am still totally head over heals for Robert.
    Anna Mommy to 4 boys!! 16 yrs., 14 yrs., 7 yrs., and baby.
    Mean people produce little mean people!!

  23. #4073

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    Quote Originally Posted by maggie View Post
    I've been thinking about Cass, and Rin too. You and all the other MIA ladies, please come back!
    And Teachermom (was that her name?)! She posted in Breastfeeding a while back that she was going through some really bad depression, needed to go on meds, was terrified that she would have to wean, etc. I hope she's ok


  24. #4074

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    No, her siggy DID say Sept. 9, 2009!!!! I made a point to look at it more than once!! Fo shizzle!

    My MIL has no idea what I do or don't believe. My inlaws are Christmas and Thanksgiving pray-ers. I'm so annoyed by this. You never go to church, you never pray, you never talk to God, yet you pray for Christmas and Thanksgiving. Give me a break! One day MIL told DH "you better pray for ____ insert something stupid here. DH said "why would I do that?" And MIL just kind of looked at us. So, i'm pretty sure she knows we don't do religion.

    Ashley - 25, Chris - 27, Elizabeth - 9-22-04, Alexis - 12-19-08

  25. #4075
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    I confess that I my new phone. Now if only they would get my old number switched to the new carrier so I could get phone calls from people who have my old number instead of just ones who know this stupid temporary number. I can't get the numbers out of my old phone because it took a shiz after five million too many drops on it's piece of crap head.
    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  26. #4076
    shutterbird Guest

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    I confess today's Woot Shirt nearly made me pee my pants:

    http://shirt.woot.com/

    The best part? The soul.

  27. #4077

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    Quote Originally Posted by shutterbird View Post
    I confess today's Woot Shirt nearly made me pee my pants:

    http://shirt.woot.com/

    The best part? The soul.
    OMG that one is precious I've already bought the chemistry class accident shirt, the cookie monster milk bender shirt (for DH) and the Quick Brown Fox shirt.


  28. #4078
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    Quote Originally Posted by shutterbird View Post
    I confess today's Woot Shirt nearly made me pee my pants:

    http://shirt.woot.com/

    The best part? The soul.
    LOL I love it! I thought about getting DH one until I read this part...

    Donít wear this shirt: to a gay bar unless you understand the message youíre sending.
    He would so not appreciate it.
    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  29. #4079
    shutterbird Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by WillowSpy View Post
    OMG that one is precious I've already bought the chemistry class accident shirt, the cookie monster milk bender shirt (for DH) and the Quick Brown Fox shirt.
    Are they decent shirts? I don't expect much for $10, but some of these are so cute! I always go to buy them and then chicken out (I have horrible buyers remorse)...

  30. #4080

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    Quote Originally Posted by shutterbird View Post
    Are they decent shirts? I don't expect much for $10, but some of these are so cute! I always go to buy them and then chicken out (I have horrible buyers remorse)...
    They are REALLY good quality! I was surprised. They are made by American Apparel, actually. The only thing I'd say is that they run small (**** you, skinny American Apparel clientelle!) so I always order a size up (L instead of M for me... I think there is a size chart that is pretty accurate).


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