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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #40201
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    I swear, nobody wants my job. Nobody. It's a lot of writing and you don't have the extended contact with the same kids that most people really enjoy about the job. I'm kind of an oddball that I like it so much. Every time they have had an opening, it has been filled by a new hire because the people here don't want the job. But apparently they are going to choose someone at random who doesn't want to work here and replace me with them. While putting me in a position I don't want, either. Seriously.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  2. #40202
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    Oh that totally sounds like it would be in the best interest of the kids. Not. Put a bunch of adults in rolls they don't want and watch what happens.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  3. #40203
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    And I'm not saying you or anyone would purposely let the kids down. I know you'd still do the best that you could whatever the position. But it doesn't take a genius to know that everyone excels when they're doing what they love. Hence, that should be the ideal for the kids. That is what you're all there for after all.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #40204
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    And I'm not saying you or anyone would purposely let the kids down. I know you'd still do the best that you could whatever the position. But it doesn't take a genius to know that everyone excels when they're doing what they love. Hence, that should be the ideal for the kids. That is what you're all there for after all.
    Ya think?
    What is wrong with people? Seriously.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  5. #40205
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    It's really upsetting. I'd really like to know what morons think this stuff up. But I have a feeling there are lots of people like them in charge all over.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  6. #40206
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    Way gets me is that she is the interim director. She isn't supposed to be here forever. So they will put this policy in place, move me, they will hire someone permanent who realizes this policy is insane, and I will be the only person who ever is affected by it. Insane.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  7. #40207
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Way gets me is that she is the interim director. She isn't supposed to be here forever. So they will put this policy in place, move me, they will hire someone permanent who realizes this policy is insane, and I will be the only person who ever is affected by it. Insane.
    You're right. Completely insane.

    I'd like to think someone like her could never find a permanent position where she'd be allowed to make asinine decisions like that on a regular basis, but reality is she'll likely be promoted to the top where the most havoc can be effectively wrecked on the greatest number of lives.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  8. #40208
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    Aw Mandy big hugs. That sucks. And doesn't make sense.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  9. #40209
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    You're right. Completely insane.

    I'd like to think someone like her could never find a permanent position where she'd be allowed to make asinine decisions like that on a regular basis, but reality is she'll likely be promoted to the top where the most havoc can be effectively wrecked on the greatest number of lives.
    She's already at the top, pretty much. She answers to the Superintendant. So - yeah.

    She actually had this job permanently in the past, right before I was hired. Not sure if she left or was asked to leave, but when her replacement quit (due to asinine decisions above her), she was brought in to fill the gap. She's been making a lot of changes. Mostly for the better, to be honest.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 04-08-2013 at 07:22 PM.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  10. #40210
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Aw Mandy big hugs. That sucks. And doesn't make sense.
    No, it doesn't.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  11. #40211
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    She's already at the top, pretty much. She answers to the Superintendant. So - yeah.

    She actually had this job permanently in the past, right before I was hired. Not sure if she left or was asked to leave, but when her replacement quit (due to asinine decisions above her), she was brought in to fill the gap. She's been making a lot of changes. Mostly for the better, to be honest.
    Oh I meant in general. I knew there she was at the top, but it was interim. But maybe she'll get her old job back permanently

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  12. #40212
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    That is completely illogical. Just nuts. Go elsewhere, some place where they can recognize the good work you do, and pay you for it.

  13. #40213
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    That is completely illogical. Just nuts. Go elsewhere, some place where they can recognize the good work you do, and pay you for it.
    I agree with Suja. I'm very sorry.

    Although I would be cautious with CA salaries, because the salary does not often make up for the cost of living.

    I have been crying almost nonstop for the past couple of days after a few months of feeling progressively more unhappy. I have sent an email to my doctor about getting back on the antidepressants I stopped more than a year ago. I am taking the day off work tomorrow, and having my mom take care of S after the twins go to school tomorrow. When DH came home and realized that I could not stop crying long enough to even eat dinner, he decided that he should probably take the day off tomorrow and help me, especially since my doctor wants to have a phone appointment with me right when I'm supposed to be picking up the twins from school. I don't know why this is happening, but I can't seem to pull myself together.

    ETA: On the bright side, I did find out that the hemorrhoid cream under the eyes does work for the under-the-eyes puffiness.
    Last edited by 3andMe; 04-08-2013 at 11:02 PM.


  14. #40214
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    Oh, L.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Thanks.


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    I'm so sorry, L. It sure seems like you have had A LOT on your hands lately. Hope you can find a quick way out of there.

  17. #40217

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    Oh no! I just read the news, Mandy! What a shock, and yeah, I agree it's senseless. Is it really a done deal now? Totally out of your hands? If not, could you then still petition them to change their minds? If having to leave your school post is truly unavoidable, I hope that you adapt easily to whatever change is coming your way. That preschool job does sound like a pretty comfortable gig, and a you might find that you truly love it. I just truly hope that this monkey wrench thrown into your career turns into a great opportunity for you where you might find even more happiness at your job.

    L, I'm so sorry you've been feeling the blues lately. I'm glad you reached out to your doctor about going back on antidepressants. I hope they help give you the sense that everything's going to be ok (as I see it will be, fwiw). You are far too nice to be feeling so sad. It's so sweet of J to take the day off tomorrow to give you help. If there is anything I can do, even just to come over with B and play with the kids while you and J step out for a couple hours, I will make the time.

  18. #40218
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    I've been looking at want ads all night. DH keeps telling me, as many of you have, that this could really inspire me to make a big change that would work out for the best in our lives. I'm honestly considering looking for an outpatient clinical setting or something where I am outside the school system entirely. I don't know, though. That would be a big change.

    I don't know ... looking around at the salaries I see advertised I'm not so sure I don't have it pretty good here. For a school district employee I make well above what seems to be the national average for a school SLP while living in an area where there is a fairly low cost of living and reasonable commute times. Right now I'm about three miles from work (although that would change if I become and itinterant). That's a lot to give up to storm off in a fit of rage. I'm imagining myself writing a letter of resignation and spelling out my frustrations, plain as day, and sending it to all the powers that be. Personally, I would love to send that.

    I've seen a few private clinics with a very high hourly salary, but they are all in big cities and along with that goes the higher cost of living, commute times, not to mention losing my summers off and all the other perks that are the reason a school job is worth putting up with. I just don't know what is best. Honestly if I'm not doing what I do now that preschool job would be great. Not that there aren't other fabulous jobs out there - I just would like to know what I'm getting into. And I don't know of anything locally that would top what I do for me personally. There is a big hospital outpatient clinic but I had a friend who worked there and she found it very frustrating.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Mandy, I can't believe what is going on with your job. From what I can tell reading your posts around the boards it seems like you care about your job and are good at it. I've been a parent dealing with the schools and getting help for my daughter and you can tell when someone has a job and when someone likes their job. I'm so sorry.

    L, I am sorry to hear you're having a hard time. It sounds like you have a good plan in place to help. I hope that things start to get better for you.


    I took Cameron to the park in our subdivision yesterday, she rode her bike there and Parker was in the stroller. I didn't want to go, and frankly thought it was dumb since we have a swing set in the backyard. It was nice to take a little walk, but of course that's when Parker napped. I tried all day to nap and never got one in. I'm so exhausted. Now he is up eating and cuddling so I've got the one handed, post from the phone thing goin on. People keep asking me if Parker is sleeping through the night and I'm getting frustrated with the advice I get when I say no. I also have gotten tired of people commenting on how small he is. Preemies are small people! I feel like a grouch, everything is irritating to me lately. I want to stay at home and avoid the general population. Does any of this make sense together? I feel like I just rambled.....

  20. #40220

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    L, good for you that you called the dr. Big hugs to you and I hope you are able to find the right treatment quickly.

    Mandy, I am just flabbergasted over here at your situation!! I've hardly heard anything so absurd in my life.

    Camamama, I have been known (or rather, unknown) to lie about my kids sleep, just to ward off the useless advice.

    We are all quite distraught over figuring out where mil will be comfortable. We have narrowed it down to Kai's room but there is no way around it, she will have a difficult time enjoying the rest of her stay. She needs a nap every afternoon along with several intervals of time away from the noise and chaos of our home. Not to mention she usually stays away until noon when my daycare kids leave.
    I am actually quite angry with my neighbor for not honoring her commitment to letting us use the house. I triple confirmed and she is well aware that the entire reason we need it is because we cannot comfortably accommodate her. And it's not even like she is apolologizing up and down. I just got a text, "Change of plans..." I can't remember the last time someone made me feel this way. I have always known she is sort of full of it, one of those people who says what she thinks you want to hear , but this scenario tells me that we are not friends and she has no regard. I kmow she will be kissing my ass when we see her and not sure how I will handle that.

  21. #40221
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    Like Bridget, I've not been up front about our sleep woes when asked. And that includes her pedi. To our pedi's credit though, he never pushed anything and basically said that we should do what works for us, and if I'm okay with sleep deprivation, then there is nothing wrong, really. She started STTN shortly after she turned two.

    Of course, I got a few months' rest after that, before Khan's health deteriorated and I was up with him all night long, and after a break of a couple of weeks (where I read instead of catching up on 3 years worth of sleep), I'm back to waking up multiple times a night with Mira, who is now getting up frequently to pee. I'm really frustrated, because it isn't a UTI, and the doc's theory is that she's really backed up from being a little constipated earlier, and that's what is causing it, but if that's what it is, why did she get up 15 or 20 times last night? That was between 1:45 or so (I was up late working, and hadn't gone to bed), and 6:45, when she woke up for good. The universe is conspiring to turn me into the walking dead.
    Last edited by Suja; 04-09-2013 at 09:07 AM.

  22. #40222

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    Oh Mandy and L, my heart goes out to both of you.

    I had something else I wanted to say to one of you but I can't remember now...

    I also wanted to weigh in on the discussion a couple pages ago about children...I really think some are just more high strung than others and that phase that some kids hit at 2 or 3 is not just a phase for some kids. I believe Josh is one of those kids. He's very serious about everything. Yesterday he was giggly and happy and we both remarked, sadly, that it was unlike him to act so care free. Around here everything is a tragedy and I've been trying to avoid saying things like "It's not the end of the world just because _______" because clearly to him it is. It's been hard to deal with because DH and I are pretty easygoing people. And also just because adults can see it truly isn't a tragedy if you get the wrong type of juice.

  23. #40223
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    I honestly don’t know how to define a tantrum. My cousin’s little boy throws himself on the floor and flails Nolan just stands there, hands in mouth, and cries. Occasionally he’ll lay his head on a table or something very dramatic like, but he’s not violent – thank goodness. This morning was better, we got out of the house without a melt down, but I made sure to wake him up in plenty of time and move about getting ready fairly slowly so he didn’t feel pressured.

    Bridget you only have one hotel in your town?? Oy…

    Mandy I am so sorry… It does sound like they are targeting you.. How odd.

    Suja I also worry that Nolan will be easily influenced by his older peers. He loves older kids (not kids his age or younger at all) and will follow them around religiously. He is also very independent though, so we will see, I hope he takes that from me and not his father (whom is VERY easily influenced).

    CamaLamaMama (sorry, name eludes me) I hate, hate when people give opinions that were not asked for. People are constantly commenting on how petite Nolan is. Like really, does it matter?

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I also wanted to weigh in on the discussion a couple pages ago about children...I really think some are just more high strung than others and that phase that some kids hit at 2 or 3 is not just a phase for some kids. I believe Josh is one of those kids. He's very serious about everything. Yesterday he was giggly and happy and we both remarked, sadly, that it was unlike him to act so care free. Around here everything is a tragedy and I've been trying to avoid saying things like "It's not the end of the world just because _______" because clearly to him it is. It's been hard to deal with because DH and I are pretty easygoing people. And also just because adults can see it truly isn't a tragedy if you get the wrong type of juice.
    I guess that makes sense and really though, for a kid, the wrong type of juice is kind of a big deal. Maybe not to us because we have bigger more pressing issues. Nolan freaks out if someone takes his water bottle (sippy or whatever he's drinking out of). That is 'his' property and no one is to touch it without his say so. I equate it to not wanting someone to just start rummaging through my purse. He is entitled to his special possessions just as I am.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  25. #40225

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    Yeah, I can understand why it would be a tragedy to kids. Their whole day is made up of little stuff like that and like you said they don't have bigger things to worry about. But I just kind of have the feeling that the average kid doesn't flip out about stuff nearly as often as Josh does. I'm not kidding when I say that usually every single thing that happens throughout the day is met with resistance. It makes me feel like he doesn't respect me. The dog and the husband don't listen to me either. So you can imagine what this is doing to my feelings of self worth. LOL

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    At least my dog and cat listen to me And the kid does listen to me better than she does to DH, so there is that. I have been asking her if something is a big deal or a small deal. Every once in a while, I'll catch her stopping herself from getting into a full blown meltdown by telling herself (and me) that it's not a big deal, it's a small deal. Pretty much everything fits into the small deals category (OH NOES! She drank water out of the blue cup instead of the orange one!), but I'm glad she is starting to realize that at least some of them are.

    I just realized that the kid's Little Ninjas class starts on Friday. I am having serious misgivings about this, given her general attitude about everything. Do we really need to teach her how to beat people up too? She is so capable of doing it verbally. Anyway, it looks like she'll need an outfit, and I'm pretty sure I'll get plenty of pushback about a plain jane all white uniform. Maybe I can embellish it with sequins or something.
    Last edited by Suja; 04-09-2013 at 10:12 AM.

  27. #40227
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Yeah, I can understand why it would be a tragedy to kids. Their whole day is made up of little stuff like that and like you said they don't have bigger things to worry about. But I just kind of have the feeling that the average kid doesn't flip out about stuff nearly as often as Josh does. I'm not kidding when I say that usually every single thing that happens throughout the day is met with resistance. It makes me feel like he doesn't respect me. The dog and the husband don't listen to me either. So you can imagine what this is doing to my feelings of self worth. LOL
    My mom says that I was a lot like Nolan. But instead of being emotional and/or cry, I was mean and high strung.... Guess whose still kind of mean and high strung

    One day he will recognize your awesomeness. One day.

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  28. #40228

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    I've always thought the question of STTN is too loaded. I think a kids ability to STTN is mostly temperament, but it's also a question about parental choice (to sleep train or not), and that starts getting into territory where there's the opportunity to judge. An innocent-sounding "Is he STTN yet?" - especially coming from a mom who's BTDT - is a veiled way of asking if you're sleep training. Nosy parkering, if you ask me.

    Now having said that, I do confess that sometimes I've asked friends "How is s/he sleeping?", mostly out of empathy since mine still wakes and cries out several times a night. But I would never phrase the question as though I expect any baby to STTN as the norm.

  29. #40229

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Yeah, I can understand why it would be a tragedy to kids. Their whole day is made up of little stuff like that and like you said they don't have bigger things to worry about. But I just kind of have the feeling that the average kid doesn't flip out about stuff nearly as often as Josh does. I'm not kidding when I say that usually every single thing that happens throughout the day is met with resistance. It makes me feel like he doesn't respect me. The dog and the husband don't listen to me either. So you can imagine what this is doing to my feelings of self worth. LOL
    Awww... Kate. I can't even get mine to look up at me without saying his name 5 times. I say start with the dog. Getting your dog to obey could be a real confidence builder!

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Now having said that, I do confess that sometimes I've asked friends "How is s/he sleeping?", mostly out of empathy since mine still wakes and cries out several times a night. But I would never phrase the question as though I expect any baby to STTN as the norm.
    I do this as well. My response 99.9% of the time - regardless of response - is "Wow that is great!" I don't even know why I ask, habit? Something to say? Never, ever, do I judge or offer advice, unless I am being asked. Which never happens.

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