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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #40111

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    Oh trust me I remember the agony of waiting and worrying.

  2. #40112

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    Oh, I wanna hug your DH, Christina! It's amazing at times when they can even express themselves that little bit, isn't it?

  3. #40113
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    The waiting is hard. I've been paranoid the whole time and purposefully put off my first appointment until right at 12 weeks so we could hear a heartbeat and than not too? Literally, the worse dream I've had since we found out.

    I keep trying to encourage him to talk to me more about it, but he doesn't want too. I feel bad and don't really know what I can do to help him feel better. I've told him, the best I can, all the different reasons for why we might not hear a heartbeat (other than the worse case scenario of course), but it is hard to convince someone else everything is OK when you don't really believe it yourself

    ETA: Thanks for listening to my ranting worrying mess, I'll try not to go all crazy lady over the next week or so!
    Last edited by Smplyme89; 04-05-2013 at 06:02 PM.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  4. #40114
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    I would be going crazy too Christina. They couldn't find my heartbeat either and tried to tell my mom it was hopeless....so she went a few weeks thinking I wasn't viable. But here I am so obviously it turned out fine. That was before ultrasounds were really done.
    It must have been beyond disappointing to not hear the heartbeat but I bet that it was just the tilted uterus and positioning and that little bean is snuggled in just great.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  5. #40115
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    I would be going crazy too Christina. They couldn't find my heartbeat either and tried to tell my mom it was hopeless....so she went a few weeks thinking I wasn't viable. But here I am so obviously it turned out fine. That was before ultrasounds were really done.
    It must have been beyond disappointing to not hear the heartbeat but I bet that it was just the tilted uterus and positioning and that little bean is snuggled in just great.
    This is what I keep telling myself

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  6. #40116

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    Chrissy, don't slap me for this question that probably makes you want to, well, slap people.
    Is there any way to open microsoft excel on my laptop without having my product key? Or...how do I get the product key on a 3 year old computer?

  7. #40117

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    Christina, feel free to come in here and talk about how crazy the waiting is making you. We're here for ya man. I would be the same way. It's sweet your dh expressed himself that way. Hope your both doing ok.

  8. #40118
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    My crock pot vindaloo turned out awesome! DH is going back for seconds. My house smelled like an Indian restaurant all day.


  9. #40119
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Chrissy, don't slap me for this question that probably makes you want to, well, slap people.
    Is there any way to open microsoft excel on my laptop without having my product key? Or...how do I get the product key on a 3 year old computer?
    http://www.ehow.com/how_8392397_offi...oduct-key.html
    See if that works.


  10. #40120

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    I am trying to find the opportunity to have a conversation with mil. I want it to be unaccusatory. It needs to be explained that she doesn't see the kids often enough to expect them to understand the way she wants things. It's not that they cannot acclimate to other's ways, with time. I do get the feeling that she thinks this when they won't follow her requests. They aren't rude about it, but it's confusing when you are a child and used to certain rules and expectations. One example, and it's not her fault this one, but it gives an idea of how the kids get confused. She is staying next door at the neighbors since it is their summer home and they are kind enough to let her use it. Kai was running over there with dbf and I told him to take his boots off at the door. Well, he came back upset because when he went to take them off, gma said to leave them on and he said that I told him to take them off and she said the floor was too cold. He was so troubled and didn't know what to do. No biggie, this is how we learn to adapt to new situations and Kai is working on this skill anyway but point being, her tight lipped ways and her adamant requests that they do it her way, it's just not fair to them. Even as a grown woman, I need time to adjust to someone elses ways, especially in my own house.
    Tonight she wanted to read them their bedtime story. Every night when we read, they grab their notebooks and write or draw pictures while I read. I heard her tell them to put their notebooks away. They said this is what we do. She said no put them away. Kai started to cry. So she said fine we will write. But he wanted to read too. She wouldn't do both. I heard the whole exchange, heard Kai say he wanted me, and then she came out and handed me the book and said that Kai apparently only likes for me to read the bedtimes story. I could tell she was annoyed. The kids were sad because they annoyed her. They just see her so rarely I wish she would just chill. There's also the constant telling them to put sock on, they both go barefoot inside. My feet are cold if I go barefoot but they HATE socks and honestly things like that i leave up to them. And if I'm HERE and they aren't wearing socks and I'm not telling them to then clearly it's ok, you know? Silly stuff but it adds up.
    Last edited by Bridget; 04-05-2013 at 09:22 PM.

  11. #40121
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    Your examples stressed me out, Bridget. They reminded me of how I feel when my dad is here. My MIL generally defers to us as far as how to work with the kids, but my dad is always trying to get them to do things outside of our comfort zone or outside of their comfort zone, and gets unhappy when there is some push-back, either from the grown-ups telling him that it's not okay for him to do whatever or when the kids are whiny or cry.

    On the other hand, my dad is always telling me I'm too uptight and that I have too many rules and DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, which is the refrain I always heard from him throughout my childhood. Let S. throw away all the straight nails into the disposal chute at the building area and playground run only on donations? Sure! He enjoys it! It's keeping him happy! So what if it's only for bent nails? Mommy's being RIDICULOUS. Let's go strip off our clothes and dive into the Bay, so what if the kids don't know how to swim? Of course, I can't talk to my dad, so my advice is probably meaningless.

    Sorry, I'm bringing my own recent visit and issues into this. I would probably approach it from the viewpoint that you want the visit to be the most enjoyable for her and for the children as possible, and you are aware that she is an experienced mother, but that you feel like your children will be so much more happy with her visit if she can be more flexible with the house rules that she is accustomed to and adapt to some of the ones that you all are used to. Since she, with her experience/wisdom, is more able to adapt to different situations more readily, she may provide an example of the flexibility you have been trying to show your children. She could listen to what they are saying (ie go without socks) and give the example that in her house nobody ever goes without socks, but also provide a living example that in someone else's house she is willing to do what it takes to help the family be more comfortable, including not ordering them around and making them cry. (Okay, I wouldn't include that last part.)


  12. #40122
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    OMG Bridget I don't know how handle that. I mean I don't know that I could hold my tongue and not just say "this is our bedtime routine and how we do it is xyz and if you want to do the x while they do the y and z that would be great".

    Seriously you guys keep that in mind for someday when we are the MIL's. But the ONLY reason I can consider letting mine live with us is I can tell her how things go in MY house and she mostly will follow it (though sometimes it needs repeating). She does a few things that drive me crazy but they are truly silly things like slouching and leaning on the cart when pushing it in the store. Bugs me but really that is on me because it's not like it affects me. But when she would spray perfume in my bathroom and my bathroom still had the smell it in a week later....that affected me and I HAD to say something....she no longer brings perfume to my house. I did say if she ever moved in though, she could spray it in HER bathroom in her area downstairs.

    But really routines are important. I'm leaving the girls with my parents for a full week....and leaving detailed instructions for them written out. One of which is how to administer the thyroid med to Cosmo. It's a routine we have where the pill is hidden in peanut butter. That goes on the right finger. Molly gets peanut butter on the left finger without a pill. Molly gets her peanut butter first....because if Cosmo sees that, she will go for hers. Just try to give it only Cosmo and she will sometimes turn her nose at it and you have to shove it down her throat. So I found a routine that works great and is super easy.....so it makes sense for them to follow the routine they are in. Now they come running when they see the pill bottle or I say medicine. Better than having to shove it down her throat.
    I know some of their routines will be broken down there....Molly will not need a special collar to go outside as they have a fenced yard. But some I expect them to keep up like the medicine ones or crating Molly if nobody is home....she just doesn't get left out yet. Not sure yet if one of them will sleep in the guest room with the girls....they are used to sleeping in the bed with one of us but that is one I will let them decide if they want to or not.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  13. #40123
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    L that is pretty good advice. A lot more tactful than mine of just basically being like, Look my house, my rules. LOL

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  14. #40124

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    I have to be careful because once she cried after I got frustrated with her and I felt so awful. That was her first visit. Since then I have been able to keep things pretty harmonious but letting a LOT go but I want to have my kids' back, you know? L, that is the best response ever. I wonder if it will be obvious if I write it on my hand...

  15. #40125
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    and thank you, I know this can be 'normal' and I feel silly for worrying. Really, really silly, but I can't help it and poor hubs, he walked in last night and said "I can't stop thinking about our baby" and just walked out. He just can't express himself. Its harder for him right now I think.
    It is not silly to worry.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Chrissy, don't slap me for this question that probably makes you want to, well, slap people.
    Is there any way to open microsoft excel on my laptop without having my product key? Or...how do I get the product key on a 3 year old computer?
    Download OpenOffice. It's free and will read/edit all Office documents.

    Did you pay for your Office suite, or is that the free trial that comes pre-installed on all consumer computers? (what we refer to as 'bloatware' ). If you never paid for it, you won't be able to open it until you do. But if you use OpenOffice, that's a moot point.

    http://www.openoffice.org/
    Last edited by missychrissy; 04-05-2013 at 10:27 PM.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  16. #40126
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    Ah, yes, we paid for our stuff but it was a pain finding our keys all the time (really, so often????) so we started using OpenOffice for a while, too. Then it started becoming more incompatible with some of my work stuff.


  17. #40127

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    Bridget, I felt stressed just reading your post, too. Poor Kai and Savana... I can really see how that would be so confusing. They want to please her, but it's distressing to have someone telling them different rules than they're used to. And routines are so big for kids. I like L's response, but I don't know if I'd be diplomatic or eloquent enough to lay it out that way. How long is your MIL staying? I'd probably just pop in, say when they're getting ready to read bedtime stories, and very low-key and cheerfully do a quick rundown of what the kids like. I have to do that with my mom -- using your example, I'd say something like "Hey, so great that you're reading their bedtime stories! They'll love having grandma do that. Just so you know, we usually have their notebooks out and they draw pictures while I read. They find that so relaxing."
    I mean, it's kind of annoying to have to lay things out ahead of time and "debrief" her on everything you can -- I always end up feeling like I'm running interference, which is a pain -- but if it lowers the stress level, maybe it's worth it so she can get their routines down a little bit. Like with the socks thing, is there any way you could just laugh and roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, they hate wearing socks in the house! Which is crazy, because my feet get so cold! But theirs don't, so we are happy to let them go barefoot."

    Or have you already tried that approach, and she just totally overrules you and does her own thing anyway? Because that would drive me CRAZY. And I think at that point, after I reminded her again, "It's ok with me if the kids go barefoot. They really don't like wearing socks." And she still pushed socks... I'd try to have a (nonconfrontational) talk with her along L's lines about how you really respect her as a mother, but that the kids are finding it stressful trying to adapt to new rules in their own house.
    Ugh. And I totally get that you feel bad because you had a previous confrontation that hurt her feelings, but if she's habitually not even trying to respect your routines/rules in your house, you can't let the guilt trip hold you hostage. You know? Everyone deserves honesty in that situation (her included, because deep down I'm sure she doesn't want you to feel resentful when she visits).

    And L... your dad ... wow. I don't know how you deal with that with such aplomb.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  18. #40128
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    Bridget, I like what Gretchen has said about debriefing her on how things are done at your house; she must understand that kids have their routines, right? I know that when we visited my parents the first time after having Travis, we once went out for a meal and left him with them (he was already in bed asleep), so I ran through a list of things we did for him if he woke up. After I finished saying all that I said to them, I said something along the lines of I know you've had kids and you know what to do with them, but it is helpful to know what Travis expects.

  19. #40129

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    L, can we have the recipe for the crockpot vindaloo?
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  20. #40130

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    Popping in to say give hugs to you Christina. I have been reading but not having a lot of time to respond. Also, they could not find Elle on an ultrasound until I was around 16 weeks and so they did transvaginal ones through that time period. I have a big fat blop over my uterus (lol sad but true) and it was difficult to get the ultrasound or doppler to get a reading because of it. Oddly enough, it wasn't that fatty or blobby at the time, but it is thicker on my lower abdomen, from my c-section with Ky I am thinking, than the rest of my stomach area. Luckily, it doesn't bother me and I wasn't worried about it thinking my fatty blob was just getting int the way. I'm sure it is much bigger than a tiny beanie baby in there, and in my case it was. She was always bouncing around on the transvaginal images.

    Bridget, I am not jealous of you and your MIL issues. I do think you should speak to her about your routines especially. The sock thing remind me of my own MIL whom I just adore but am happy doesn't make annual visits like yours does. MIL is always complaining and ridiculing in a passive aggressive way about Ky not wearing socks. I just told her I don't like to wear them either and he doesn't have to wear them if he doesn't want to. She has complained that "he will get sick" mostly that "he will get pneumonia." I don't know if this a an old black woman thing or what but she and DH's aunties (he has 5) and my grandma's and aunties also are always talking about kids getting pneumonia from particular weather patterns, not wearing t-shirts under their regular shirts in the winter, or not wearing appropriate socks or house shoes. I just reminded her that Ky has never had pneumonia and he has never liked wearing socks and is healthiest kid I know. He doesn't even get colds or the flu like other kids and has been the only kid in his class most years who doesn't get some crazy illness that is going around. Elle wears socks all the time and is my sickly child. Luckily my MIL is not sensitive and so she doesn't cry or anything when I have told her things point blank. I couldn't imagine her staying with me longer than a few days though or us staying with her longer than that. She is way too controlling and I have told her that as well. I hope everything works out with your MIL and that if you talk to her she will listen without feeling like you are attacking her.

    On another note, I am sad because the weather report is saying it may be raining on my planned birthday-vacay and I may have to postpone if that is the case, since I decided to just take the whole fam and go to Myrtle Beach. I need some sun and nice weather. It has been great down here lately and if the forecast still has rain in the forecast, I will be sooooooooooo disappointed to postpone my trip. DH has even agreed to behave himself (he has been getting on my nerves a lot lately and I wasn't going to take him due to it) and it is a feat to get DH to agree to modify his behavior. Luckily he will usually follow through with his agreement to not be an ass so I know I won't have to worry about it while we are vacationing.

    Erin

  21. #40131

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    Ok, I know the term SCUBJIA... But I'll be honest, tonight I'm not going to even try to catch up! So... NCUBJIA?

    I've been so busy! Getting ready for Maiya's party tomorrow, and I decided to bake her own cupcakes and a little (really little, much smaller than I intended, sigh...) cake. And then, in all my genius, decided to roast a whole duck for dinner tonight! And Maiya had a friend's birthday party tonight, so we were really rushed. Since today was so busy, I had originally planned on getting more done last night (including cooking the duck), but instead went to go see a friend and her baby in the hospital. So definitely a good choice, but let's just say, I'm tired tonight!

    Wish me luck tomorrow. I feel like I'm so disorganized! And there are a lot of parties going on now, and they're all so well themed and cutely decorated... And we have no theme and almost no decorations, hah. I'm very, very casual! Ah well, they're a bunch of 2 - 6 year olds, they won't miss elaborate themes and fancy decorations, right???



  22. #40132
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    Mine won't even notice the lack of a theme! Are you still serious about no presents? Because I am always ready to take a stand on the NO PRESENTS side, but that's my own bias. We'll make cards for her and won't be ashamed to show up without presents. Or grab some presents if you really think she will want something (I can always get some art supplies at the grocery store in the morning). I want to do what you want.

    We went to shoot rockets today outside of Stockton, and S. was so badly behaved on the drive there and back (throwing things in the car at the twins, spitting, taking his seatbelt off, constantly shouting, asking to stop and pee every 20 minutes), that we told him that he may not be able to go to the party tomorrow if he couldn't keep his carseat straps on and behave better. It would be too hard to take him for rides in the car. He finally got a little better during the last half-hour of our 7-hour excursion, once we threatened him with not going to the party. Still, the whole thing was so depressing. DH had to sit half-turned around in his seat, physically restraining him he wouldn't get out of his car seat. It made me think about how hard it is going to be to go on the next few planned airplane rides and longer road trips.

    S. woke up at 4:30 this morning, btw, and wouldn't go back to sleep. He scrambled from crib to bunk bed to our bed and around and around and around. He went to the bathroom with me. I took my turn first while he was getting his pajamas down, and he was waiting his turn. He said, "Oh Mommy, I just peed on the rug." I said, "What did you say?!? Really?" He giggled a little bit and said, "Don't worry, I was just joking." I couldn't believe he said that, for one thing. Certainly not at 4:30 AM. It seemed sort of sophisticated to be able to pretend to pee on the rug and then tell me to lighten up.

    I tried to cuddle him in bed after I realized he was going to be restless, and he wouldn't have anything to do with it. He started counting backwards from zero loudly (apparently the twins' negative numbers have been sinking in-- "NEGATIVE ONE, NEGATIVE TWO, NEGATIVE THREE, NEGATIVE FOUR, NEGATIVE FIVE, NEGATIVE SIX, NEGATIVE SEVEN, NEGATIVE EIGHT...). I would blame his excessive orneriness on his early rising today, but he ended up taking a surprise nap on the drive out to the rocket range, so I think it ended up being about 10 hours total.

    Erin, good to see you posting again.

    Oh, and I'll try to remember to look up an approximation of a vindaloo crockpot recipe. I used one recipe as a base, but it didn't get great reviews, so I added in some ingredients from other recipes. But I have to go to bed right now. I'm just typing this as a reminder to myself.
    Last edited by 3andMe; 04-06-2013 at 11:47 PM.


  23. #40133

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    Oh, Erin! I hope you get the trip. I really, really hope. I know how it feels to need one so badly.

    Jeez, L. Can't you take a joke (at 4am about pee on the floor???) S is such a trip!

    Thanks for all the advice re:mil everyone. It's nice to just vent. She has a good heart and I know she tries hard to do things my way. Hard to teach an old lady new tricks and I know she was a very, very different mother than I am.

    I tried to download that program but my computer froze up so I did a scan last night and I will try again today.

  24. #40134
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    The socks thing always killed me. I never liked them, not even in winter. To this day, I'm barefoot every chance I can be. I hate wearing socks and shoes. In fact, my 'winter' socks are barely thicker than knee highs. And I often sleep with my feet sticking out from under the blankets.

    What program were you downloading? OpenOffice?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  25. #40135

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    Yes, Open Office.

    See I can't wear socks to bed but at home in winter I wear them all day, with hard soled "house shoes". But yeah, my kids hate socks. Those choices they get to make. They're people, not robots.

  26. #40136
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    I have not had the best of times the past few days. Firstly, I have been in pain nearly every day with tendonitis issues in my hips/wrists and then TMJ (swollen jaw joints from grinding my teeth), so I've not been able to sleep all that well, which results in me being such a grumpalump. I am going for a physical this week because we have just switched doctors, so I'll be talking to them about the increased pain and hope they can help me.

    Then, I think I have experienced proper jealousy for the first time ever. For the longest time, DH's family and we have all gone on holiday together at least once a year. This year, DH's sister has priced us out of our range to be able to go with them. They are planning to go to DisneyLand Paris in a few weeks' time, then Italy in the summer and then renting a cabin in the UK in the Fall. We don't have the kind of money to do all those types of holidays any more. I suppose we could scrape together for the cabin, but we'll see. Any how, on top of all that, SIL is paying 7k to have her boobs done soon, so for the first time in my life, I am feeling the horrible, nasty feeling of jealousy. Even as a poor child, I don't think I ever felt jealous of what other people had. Ugh.

    Then, adding to that, SIL's 2 boys have been particularly nasty to Travis lately and I'm having a hard time not saying something to them. For instance, one day, we met up in town and one of them said to Travis, "Why do you always wear the same pair of shoes? Don't you have school shoes and house shoes?" Then a few days after that, it was, "Don't you have a separate coat for school and home?" Then, whenever Travis tries to tell them about something he has, they'll respond with something like, "Oh, I have that and 20 more..." They can act like such spoiled little brats. I know they're only kids, but still.

    I'm exhausted with dealing with such negative feelings. I'm usually the most happy-go-lucky person I know, but I suppose it's a combination of things that's bringing me down like the cold weather and wanting a nice, warm holiday somewhere and not being able to afford it while having to deal with people who have more money than I'll ever have.

  27. #40137
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    I'm sorry Ash.

    I find it hard to swallow that the parents hear their children saying those things and don't reprimand them for it. They're being rude. You're right, they're just kids but their parents really should be talking to them about that. It's never ok to make someone else feel bad.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  28. #40138
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    I have not had the best of times the past few days. Firstly, I have been in pain nearly every day with tendonitis issues in my hips/wrists and then TMJ (swollen jaw joints from grinding my teeth), so I've not been able to sleep all that well, which results in me being such a grumpalump. I am going for a physical this week because we have just switched doctors, so I'll be talking to them about the increased pain and hope they can .
    Have you ever seen a dentist about the tmj? Mine is terrible, I will often have a problem where I lock up. I grind and clench in my sleep and wake up in horrible pain. I have two retainer like things to wear, one for day to hold my jaw in a proper position and one at night to keep my teeth from being able to clench. The day time one fits like a standard lower retainer and the nighttime one is a bit more intense. It has helped with the pain, but the dentist thinks surgery would be more beneficial for me. I can't justify the cost or the down time.

  29. #40139

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    I wear shoes and socks all day. In fact I usually don't even change into my pajamas until right before I go to bed, and if it's cold I'll just throw a bathroom on over my clothes until bedtime.

    I've never heard of the concept of having house shoes, although it does make sense if you like to wear shoes in the house but don't want to track dirt and stuff around. We don't worry so much about that! Josh doesn't like to put on shoes unless we're actually going out but he does like socks.

  30. #40140
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    I wanted a shoe-free house but could never get it. All my kids were willing, but Rich and my brother Tim (who's over all the time) wear boots. It was too much of a pain for them to unlace them and tug them off just to grab something to eat or a drink and go to the bathroom just to put them back on and have to retie them. They did it for like 1 day and said, "f4ck that noise" When we had carpeting, it was a nightmare for me.

    I'll never have carpets except in the bedrooms again. I don't even bother with an area rug because I know what would happen to it if I did.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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