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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #40021
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    It's possible it's all in my head, but I don't believe so because Bobbie and Syd got 'looks' on their faces when I tried that.
    I totally get that. It's like she gets special treatment because she's pg.....and they get left out for being good and not ending up pg.
    I think that the way past that would be to not buy stuff for Jesi and only buy for the baby.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  2. #40022
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    Can you wear one of the other pairs to work more than once a week?

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  3. #40023
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    I totally get that. It's like she gets special treatment because she's pg.....and they get left out for being good and not ending up pg.
    I think that the way past that would be to not buy stuff for Jesi and only buy for the baby.
    well...I don't think that's exactly fair either. Most families do buy for the expectant mom. And I have no moral/ethical issues about her getting pregnant at 18, so it wouldn't make sense to 'punish' her by not buying stuff for her. I'll have to figure something out, though, because I won't be able to buy for all the kids and the grandbaby too all the time. I actually didn't buy anything for Conner or Kaleb last night, but being boys I'm sure the thought won't even cross their mind to care.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Can you wear one of the other pairs to work more than once a week?
    No. I have strange hang-ups. I'll end up shopping again. I just hope that it doesn't take me 2 hours to find another pair of pants. And I won't be bringing my kids!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #40024

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    I think liver might be one of those things I'll never eat again, though I froze half the "Bundt of Interest" for a time we may be desperate for all that apparent goodness. I'll tell DH after I forward that article to him.

    DH also doesn't like lamb. I actually like it. I had a bad experience with mutton, though. Kate, would your DH eat prosciutto? maybe that could be his gateway back into ham. Truth be told, I don't like a honey-baked ham for the holidays. Too sweet for me. When it's the "main" for a family get together, I usually load up on sides.
    Yeah, we had prosciutto recently, actually. He likes ham still...he just can't think about it before he eats it. LOL
    I don't like honey ham either. When I make it I don't put a sweet glaze on it. I make baked apples which satisfies the sweet/salty combo that DH likes.

  5. #40025

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    I do not like ham. It's the texture. Bacon, yes.

    I really try to discourage tit for tat around here even when they are so young. It's not always successful and of course I try to be fair but sometimes in life things just don't work out that way. You are not always going to have what your brother/sister has, and sometimes they will not have what you have. In the end, we don't have flies crawling on our eyeballs (a disturbing commercial they once saw at my dad's that was asking for $ to feed hungry children and I had to explain why this child had flies crawling in his eyes) so we are all very lucky.

    I posted in breastfeeding but go no responses. Does anyone have ideas for me to lessen Sawyer's nursing sessions? It's so exhausting that he is still nursing 10-12 times a day and all night too. Night is fine, I don't mind but I'd like to cut out some during the day. It's always the most inopportune time, and he's too big for me to nurse while doing other things. I try distracting and offering food but he won't have it most of the time, or it only works for a few minutes. I mean ice cream works but obviously I'm not offering that every time he wants to nurse. What usually ends up happening is I give in because he won't give up which is not generally how i deal with my toddler. Say no and then give in if he screams and cries. But I really don't want this to be a negative experience.

  6. #40026
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    well...I don't think that's exactly fair either. Most families do buy for the expectant mom. And I have no moral/ethical issues about her getting pregnant at 18, so it wouldn't make sense to 'punish' her by not buying stuff for her. I'll have to figure something out, though, because I won't be able to buy for all the kids and the grandbaby too all the time. I actually didn't buy anything for Conner or Kaleb last night, but being boys I'm sure the thought won't even cross their mind to care.
    Would you normally buy clothes for your kids once they are 18 (I'm assumming yes since you bought for B as well)? If so, than I don't think its an issue buying for her - pg or not. Though I think your girls are old enough to understand that obviously J will need help. We have a pg consignment shop in town that I adored with Nolan (and plan on visiting again soon) maybe you can find something like that for J? Maternity wear is soooo expensive.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  7. #40027
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    I posted in breastfeeding but go no responses. Does anyone have ideas for me to lessen Sawyer's nursing sessions? It's so exhausting that he is still nursing 10-12 times a day and all night too. Night is fine, I don't mind but I'd like to cut out some during the day. It's always the most inopportune time, and he's too big for me to nurse while doing other things. I try distracting and offering food but he won't have it most of the time, or it only works for a few minutes. I mean ice cream works but obviously I'm not offering that every time he wants to nurse. What usually ends up happening is I give in because he won't give up which is not generally how i deal with my toddler. Say no and then give in if he screams and cries. But I really don't want this to be a negative experience.
    I wish I had some useful advice (and I didn't see your post in BFing either ) Nolan weaned himself down, well, by himself. There were times when he wanted to nurse that I couldn't (i.e. cooking dinner) and I would tell him to go get his cup and than we'll do boobah when mommy is done (he loves his sippy cup though... LOVES)... Like I said, probably not useful

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  8. #40028

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    I didn't BF so I don't know but I hope you can figure something out soon

  9. #40029
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    See I like ham, not all ham though. But HATE bacon. I know that is weird because it seems everyone loves it but me. I like virginia ham and boiled ham. Not honey. And I liked what we had last year. A canned ham, not spam though. I think MIL used 7up, pineapple and cherries on it. No cloves because I wouldn't allow it. And uses the sauce or whatever to make a ham gravy. I didn't have that though.

    I did grow with parents who kept things VERY even between us. It's really helped I think for us to be close and not competitive or jealous. I got to go to France...my sister didn't have that choice but she went on another vacation that I didn't. I got music lessons, she got them. I got help to pay for college, she got help to pay for college. I got presents when I got a house, she has gotten presents for her house. So far the only thing that has been different is I got a 2K wedding and right now for her that is not legal in WI. When she has a kid though, she will likely get a lot more help there. My fault for moving 5 hours away and she lives 5 minutes away.

    I really think this is why I belong having one child. I feel guilty if I am giving one of my dogs attention and not the other one! I even there try to give them equal amounts of time like when brushing even though one needs it a lot and almost daily and the other not really at all but I know she enjoys it.

    Hmm, guess I haven't been around that many expecting women. I didn't know families tend to buy for them. I mean the idea just strikes me as strange....I couldn't see someone buying me maternity clothes. But I also haven't been around that many. I mean my aunt adopted my cousins and they are the only kids in the family in like 30 years. But I still don't see my parents buying my sister maternity clothes when she gets pg. It's just hard for me imagine. I can hear my mom saying, you got pg, you be financially responsible. Of course she will buy stuff....just for the baby and only the fun stuff she wants to. Like I know she enjoys sewing so already asked her to help with making cloth wipes and be on the lookout for a great soft material on sale.

    Chrissy I hope you can figure something out that doesn't leave the girls jealous of the things and attention Jesi is getting.....and doesn't leave you broke between all of them. It's a hard balancing act especially with their ages. I mean I'm a grown woman in my 30's and adore my sister and really want her to have a baby (and not like she will accidently end up pg). But it would be hard for me to see her getting attention and gifts as a pg lady if I haven't gotten my baby first. In my head, it would ideally be me getting my baby and than about 3-6 months later she ends up pg with hers. That way I could pass her the things I am done with. But even if we didn't do that, I just need to get my baby first since I'm 5 years old and have been trying for I think close to 7 years.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  10. #40030
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    B, is there something you can take natural wise that might dry you up a bit? Or make it not taste so yummy?

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  11. #40031
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Hmm, guess I haven't been around that many expecting women. I didn't know families tend to buy for them. I mean the idea just strikes me as strange....I couldn't see someone buying me maternity clothes. But I also haven't been around that many. I mean my aunt adopted my cousins and they are the only kids in the family in like 30 years. But I still don't see my parents buying my sister maternity clothes when she gets pg. It's just hard for me imagine. I can hear my mom saying, you got pg, you be financially responsible. Of course she will buy stuff....just for the baby and only the fun stuff she wants to. Like I know she enjoys sewing so already asked her to help with making cloth wipes and be on the lookout for a great soft material on sale.
    I would never of thought of someone buying my maternity clothes. Though, my parents stopped buying my clothes when I started working

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  12. #40032
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    I wish I could help Bridget. I have no ideas.

    Along the lines of work, apparently I'm not the only one that feels the way I do here. http://ithaca.craigslist.org/rnr/3718975647.html

    Cornell is Killing Me Slowly (Ithaca)

    I know I am supposed to be grateful to have a job, but working at Cornell is making me physically ill. Seriously, I spend more time on the brink of a nervous breakdown than I do actually working. Morale is so low here. People walk around half dead with dark, soulless eyes. Co-workers constantly look for some way to "throw you under a bus" (a favorite saying around here). They say they are "inclusive" and supportive" - I say bull****! The whole campus is broken up into little serfdoms, and whatever petty tyrant you happen to get stuck with determines what quality of life, if any, you shall be awarded. Fall from grace? Make a social faux pas on behalf of your ruler? Notice that the emperor is actually naked? Then be gone with you! We shall make your life a living hell until you quit or kill yourself! Just watch!
    In all my years of working I have never seen such a cruel, dysfunctional management system. They dump workers diagnosed with cancer, and throw away employees who get old. Sure they say that have support systems, but they're staffed by people who, although they may mean well, they are powerless. There is nothing anyone can do. And God forbid your nemesis finds out you sought help - then they just double their efforts to destroy you.
    Does anyone remember that couple who lived on Rt.79 who died in a murder-suicide a few years back? They were a married couple who both worked at Cornell. Back then the story shocked me - now I am not the least bit surprised. That's how bad it is here.
    And someone else agrees http://ithaca.craigslist.org/rnr/3719085295.html
    Cornell is evil-horrible employers (Agreed.)

    AMWN!

    Your post about Cornell sucking the Life out of a person is dead on! I was laid off from my long term job and after applying to many places I got hired by Cornell.
    WHAT A NIGHTMARE!
    The place is filled with soul sucking jerk offs that only derive joy from crushing the souls of everyone they encounter. The HR department is a joke and designed not to help...but only to hurt- and eventually eliminate you. They manufacture documentation (and/or threaten co-workers to write nasty things) that get put in your file (most of which you are punished for, but never allowed to actually look at or read) and eventually they will use it to threaten the employee or terminate them in a far less than legal manner. They boast and brag that they are "family friendly" and a "great employer" which is only patter with absolutely no truth to it. They have more money to throw around than God and better lawyers than him as well- so no truth ever gets to the public about the big red hell hole. Townies think it is the students that make the place hell...but nothing could be further from the truth. It is management plain and simple and the pit vipers (Bryn Kehrli - I'm looking at you!) in HR that make chit chat in an effort to elicit relaxed info. from whomever they are "meeting with to help" and then screw you with the data they get. I filed with HR to report the illegal practice of manufacturing documentation against employees, and all my HR rep. did was ask me to manufacture some against the manager in question!!! They are all slimy, back biting snakes. Cornell is the most unethical job I have ever had with standards for employees lower than Wal-Mart! My first week alone I watched 3 staff members deal drugs ON THE CLOCK to not only staff...but students as well! Cornell cops are paid for by the big C...so they won't do anything about it. Cornell truly is a hell hole!
    Although I can admit I was paid very well...none of it was ever worth it. They pay you well to buy you and your life. Within the first 3 months there I was having nervous attacks and becoming ill when faced with going to work. Every minute there was an endurance test that nobody should ever have to face. Eventually I decided no amount of money was worth every second of my life being a nightmare, and I left and took a huge pay cut to work in a retail job. I love my job and life again and am happy to never set foot on Cornell campus again. Hell, I refuse to even drive by it, for the memories of my life wasted there are STILL too vivid to forget.

    If Cornell hires you, say NO and run far far away. You will thank me later!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  13. #40033
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    Although I will say, it varies by college/unit/department. I did not feel anything like this when I worked for Arts & Sciences. Not even close, not even on the worst days.


    ps-I didn't write either of them. Although, I could have.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  14. #40034
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    I would never of thought of someone buying my maternity clothes. Though, my parents stopped buying my clothes when I started working
    I think mine did too. I mean I didn't support myself until I was out of college and got married. But they did things like help pay for college (not all, just some) and food. I think I was buying my own clothes and paying for things like car insurance. If we were not in college, we both paid rent to live there as well.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  15. #40035
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    I didn't have people buying all my maternity clothes. But definitely some. Even Rich's mom bought me an outfit when I was first pregnant with Bobbie. Jesi does pay her dad rent and pays me for her car insurance. I'm expecting her to buy most of what she needs, but as her mom and soon-to-be gramama I don't think it's outside the norm for me to buy her and the baby things.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  16. #40036
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I didn't have people buying all my maternity clothes. But definitely some. Even Rich's mom bought me an outfit when I was first pregnant with Bobbie. Jesi does pay her dad rent and pays me for her car insurance. I'm expecting her to buy most of what she needs, but as her mom and soon-to-be gramama I don't think it's outside the norm for me to buy her and the baby things.
    Oh I definitely wasn't trying to imply that there was anything wrong with it.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  17. #40037

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    Bridget, I don't have a whole lot of advice for you. Most of what I would suggest, it sounds like you've already tried. I'm usually able to distract asher with something new (not a toy necessarily, a kitchen utensil, some sort of box, etc) or with a snack. Could you do a couple power pumping sessions (i know, at this point, who knows how much you'll get) and make him some boobie-milk popsicles? Small ones, maybe in an ice cube tray or something? That way he thinks he is getting ice cream but really it's super healthy? He's probably too young to understand a ticket type system, huh? Like, here are your 5 booby passes for the day, when they are gone, no more until bedtime.

    After nursing asher for an hour the other night, I finally told him that the boobies were tired and going to sleep. You should have seen the meltdown/fit that ensued. I gave in and nursed him more because he just looked so pitifully sad. I feel your pain mama.

    Chrissy, holy hell, that's a lot of negativity!
    AKA Lisa724

  18. #40038
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    Quote Originally Posted by MashedUp View Post
    Chrissy, holy hell, that's a lot of negativity!
    I know. And the sad part is the "Cornell Is Killing Me Slowly" is exactly how I've felt since I started with Alumni Affairs. I really could have written that one.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  19. #40039
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I didn't have people buying all my maternity clothes. But definitely some. Even Rich's mom bought me an outfit when I was first pregnant with Bobbie. Jesi does pay her dad rent and pays me for her car insurance. I'm expecting her to buy most of what she needs, but as her mom and soon-to-be gramama I don't think it's outside the norm for me to buy her and the baby things.
    I don't think that there is anything wrong either. I just can understand the other girls being jealous. Especially Syd being more like a middle child and some of the stuff between then before. It's easy to get jealous of siblings you are close to....I would think even more so if there was tension there. And teens often don't think logically or clearly and I could see many teens thinking....hey now if *I* had a baby too, I could get that attention and stuff. I just thought a way to help might be that it's not for Jesi but the baby. Which has just been my experience....people buy baby stuff for the baby.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  20. #40040
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    and Chrissy I am lurving the new siggy

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  21. #40041

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    Bridget, the only recommendation I ever read about cutting down on nursing is to start using an egg timer. The idea is to first teach the child to "wait" for the milk. As in: "You can nurse but only after 1/2/3/...+ minutes; here, I'll set this and when it dings we can nurse". And after they learn to wait for it, half the time, distraction works and they supposedly forget about the boo-boos. Learning to wait for it is I guess a stepping stone to being told "later" or even "tomorrow morning". I've read of this approach working with some kiddos. For Bodhi, we halfheartedly tried it and he was so frustrated that at one point he started banging his head against the wall.

  22. #40042

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    See I like ham, not all ham though. But HATE bacon.
    Oh, really? Then, I'm glad I found out before sending you this:




  23. #40043
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    OMG my DH and doggies would love that! I think it's the smokey flavor. I don't like any smoked meats generally or smoked cheeses. Grilled foods I'm ok with and some BBQ.

    But yeah bacon is icky.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  24. #40044

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    Chrissy congrats on being a gramama!

    Christina congrats on your pregnancy!

    I had a friend visiting for 5 days, her son is G's age and the boys had a good time playing together. They call each other their best friend, cousin, and brother. They are really cute together. She lives in NY and we only get to see her maybe once a year.

    Work is going fine, it seems most of my paychecks are going to car repairs though. grrr. We both drive 1999 vehicles and we have spent nearly $2000 on them both. sheesh. oh well. At least I have the job to pay for it all.

    We're going camping this weekend, trying to get another trip in while it's still nice weather.

    Rachael, so glad to hear Parker is home with you and he is doing so well.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

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    Myles, I meant to tell you that your concoction sounded VILE. That's 'cuz I really cannot stand liver. It looks great, though.

    Bridget, I was going to suggest spacing it out too. That's what I did with Mira (and her beloved bottle; she self weaned because I had no supply to speak of) - She'll ask, and I'd do everything I could to keep her at bay. We just spaced it out more and more until we were down to a manageable number.

  26. #40046
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    I was 21 when my sister had my niece. My sister was 28. As the youngest, I was used to being the one my mom spent most of her money on. My sister was financially independent and I was in college and they supported me. I remember my mother sending my sister some maternity clothes, primarily because she was working in Manhattan and was having a very, very hard time finding maternity business clothes that she could wear to work and look professional. It cost a fortune and my mom definitely tried to supplement that. It didn't bother me in the least, mostly because I was excited about my sister's baby.

    I will admit to feeling just a little jealous of how much my mother bought for niece after she was born, though. I was in my 20's and I definitely knew better, but I was the youngest child and my mom had stopped buying things regularly for my older siblings. I was used to being a little spoiled. So I did have to learn to share. It wasn't anything that became an issue or that I ever mentioned to anyone, but it was a new experience for me not to be the baby of the family, after 21 years of being the spoiled one who got all the attention. I think it's a growth process, and I think your girls are old enough to learn that it doesn't need to be 1-1, so long as you meet their needs when they need it.

    Myles, since you shared your excellent dog story from this morning (LOL) I'll share mine. I was in bed (after hitting the snooze button) and DH brought M inside after his morning run. Suddenly I hear a sound like an express train speeding up in the hallway. At the doorway, M levitates into the air and leaps across the entire space of the bedroom, onto the bed (it must have been a good 6 feet at least that he cleared with that jump) and then, of course, gives me his undivided love and attention.

    What's almost funnier was seeing Vampire Kitty emerge from under the bed, stick her head up the way you see a gopher on the edge of its hole, eyes wide and staring as if to say "What the hell was THAT?" Then she popped back down under the bed again, dazed.

    I was laughing out loud all the way through my morning routine.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  27. #40047
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    Oh Mandy LOL. Dh said he wanted to play wack a mole with Molly. She does this thing where she pops up her head and her front feet on the bed....and cruisers around it. Oh she is down and bam pops again wanting her invite. No invite, ok I will try the other side of the bed. and suddenly there is that head popping up again. LOL

    Got my piece of art in the mail......and without seeing all the pieces at once, it looks a lot different than the picture. LOL We weren't even sure we had the right one. So I turned the overhead light on and it suddenly was showing some reds and yellows. No light and it was VERY green. Definitely has a holographic-ness to it and changes colors in the light. We think we like it, I might even like it better than the picture. We will try to hang the panels this weekend...there are 7 of them. We are not handy so there is likely to be b*tching and swearing going on. Well I was at first looking for greens or some green in there so if there was an unexpected color, green was the best one! We have three plants on that wall so I think that will work well. has to be better than a giant white wall to stare at.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  28. #40048
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    Post pictures after you're done, Jennifer. Or a video of the hanging process

  29. #40049
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    I will try. I have a feeling it's hard to photograph. I noticed some others were saying on other Ash Carl pieces that it was definitely different from the photo.

    No video though. My digital camera is pretty old and the video function on it's great. Getting some kind of camcorder or whatever they are called now when we get a baby is or even before so we can video the dogs is high on the list.

    Us doing handy type things generally turns into a big production. He stresses and freaks out about not being good at that kind of stuff and I generally can calm him down and read directions or something until we get it right.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  30. #40050
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Bridget, the only recommendation I ever read about cutting down on nursing is to start using an egg timer. The idea is to first teach the child to "wait" for the milk. As in: "You can nurse but only after 1/2/3/...+ minutes; here, I'll set this and when it dings we can nurse". And after they learn to wait for it, half the time, distraction works and they supposedly forget about the boo-boos. Learning to wait for it is I guess a stepping stone to being told "later" or even "tomorrow morning". I've read of this approach working with some kiddos. For Bodhi, we halfheartedly tried it and he was so frustrated that at one point he started banging his head against the wall.
    That's a great idea!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    I was 21 when my sister had my niece. My sister was 28. As the youngest, I was used to being the one my mom spent most of her money on. My sister was financially independent and I was in college and they supported me. I remember my mother sending my sister some maternity clothes, primarily because she was working in Manhattan and was having a very, very hard time finding maternity business clothes that she could wear to work and look professional. It cost a fortune and my mom definitely tried to supplement that. It didn't bother me in the least, mostly because I was excited about my sister's baby.

    I will admit to feeling just a little jealous of how much my mother bought for niece after she was born, though. I was in my 20's and I definitely knew better, but I was the youngest child and my mom had stopped buying things regularly for my older siblings. I was used to being a little spoiled. So I did have to learn to share. It wasn't anything that became an issue or that I ever mentioned to anyone, but it was a new experience for me not to be the baby of the family, after 21 years of being the spoiled one who got all the attention. I think it's a growth process, and I think your girls are old enough to learn that it doesn't need to be 1-1, so long as you meet their needs when they need it.
    Thank you for this. It does help.

    It is possible I'm not giving Syd & Bobbie enough credit. I mean, even if they were a little hurt or a tad bit jealous, they really didn't verbalize anything. The fact that I offered to buy them one thing is on me. This time.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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