Secular Confessions

[Bridget]

Thanks for the Kudos for Kai y'all! I'm beaming with pride over here.

The piano lessons are going well. We've only done 2 so far but the teacher is so patient and very playful about the teaching. Very christian but we can deal with that! lol I'm just waiting for Kai to break the news to her about our heathen ways.

[missychrissy]

Yay about the piano lessons! I have a mental image of piano lessons being taught by a rigid, older woman with a ruler in her hand. Don't ask me where that came from...probably some book I read when I was a kid!

[daylilies]

I'm glad the piano lessons are going well!

[Ky'sMom]

Also glad the lessons are going well and WTG for Kai and his super reading!!!

It is so good you have a patient teacher. IMO the teacher and the way they teach is the most important aspect of lessons, especially for young children, that they are not too strict like Chrissy's old lady ruler having piano teacher lol.

Erin

[missychrissy]

When I worked with mental health, one of the alcohol & drug counselors was this older guy who was loved by everyone. So calm and friendly-and exceptionally funny. His daughter worked in the front office with us for a while and they shared a story about when she was 8 or 9 or so and her mom was giving her piano lessons but she was such a brute about it MJ just sat there crying her eyes out. Walt (her dad) got so fed up with his wife tormenting his daughter over piano lessons he went out to the garage, grabbed an ax, and came in and chopped the piano up into pieces.

It was a funny story only because it seemed like an incredibly outrageous thing for him to do. You'd never guess he'd do something like that. MJ said she wasn't scared for life either. He really became her hero that day.

[girlwonder]

Yay for Kai! I want to try to get some piano lessons for JoJo this year. But then I would have to get a keyboard of some sort for practice. I think this will all be a bit easier to sell to dh when we aren't paying for daycare every month.

[Cosmosmom]

If you cannot find a teacher, could always do something like this http://piano-lesson-software-review.toptenreviews.com/

I have used a program like that before and it was really working. It was actually better than when I had lessons with a teacher for the viola. I just didn't want to put in the practice to keep it up and was not liking having to learn to read two more clefs....because of course my first was viola which is alto and piano is treble and bass.

[missychrissy]

I went to the calling hours tonight, so I didn't get to hug Conner till 7:30, but man oh man was it ever sweet to squeeze him tight to me. I'm so glad I have him this weekend. Syd is at a dance, but she's coming over to my place after. With a friend. I'm likely going to embarrass her by hugging her and crying but I don't care. I'm gonna hug her and soak in yet another deep breath of her essence.

[daylilies]

I'm not sure if they'll address it in Josh's class and I don't think I want him watching the news about it-what are you guys doing as far as addressing it with little ones?

Tonight, I had just a little more patience for everything. And just as I was wishing DH wanted to talk about it, he said he had watched a little of the news and couldn't handle it. I was so relieved to hear that because usually he's so cynical about everything, it was touching to hear that it actually affected him.

[missychrissy]

I wasn't going to talk to Conner tonight about it, but I was thinking at some point I should talk to him about 'what if' scenarios...sad to say. But Syd told him about it so we've talked a very little. He was confused because he didn't hear any gunshots, and I assured him it didn't happen in his school. That it didn't happen anywhere near here. I said it happened in Connecticut a few hundred miles away and it would take hours to get there. He said he was glad it didn't happen to him and I could only squeeze him very tight and start crying. I thought about the mamas that aren't able to hug their babies tonight and cried even harder. I caught a bit on CNN and they said the students are still in there and I cried hard all over again.

I caught an interview of one young teacher who had locked her students in a bathroom. She said that she thought they were all going to die and she told them she loved them. In the interview, she sobbed that she didn't know if that was ok to say and I cried again. That poor girl (she's very young)-she wanted the kids to hear that they were loved. She wanted those words to be the last things they heard instead of the gunshots and she was worried if it was ok for her to say to them that she loved them. It's all just too much for me. So very heartbreaking.

I don't really have a clue what else I'm going to say to Conner about all this. He's 6. He shouldn't even know I'm not upset with Syd...she's only 13 and simply didn't think. I was going to bring the topic up soon enough anyway, in a general way, so maybe it's for the best that he does know it's a real thing that could happen. Maybe he'll listen. If I can figure out what exactly I can say.

[Bridget]

I am not going to talk to my kids about it unless they see it somewhere else but the chances of that are very slim since we don't watch tv and they don't go to school. It's too much to try to explain about children getting killed. We did sit with my phone today and I had them each practice dialing 911 and then had them each practice dialing my phone number, and then dbf's. I mean, that doesn't directly relate but it's something they should know and something i've been putting off because I didn't want to have to explain a situation where they'd need to dail 911, like one where I wouldn't just do it.

They are sleeping on the living room floor tonight and I can't stop crying. I just keep looking at them and having these images....I am going to have to work really hard to focus on only the things I can control. This has me so shaken that I was considering talking to dbf about leaving here and moving to Canada. I am so terrified by this growing trend. And the media will beat it to death so that the next mentally unstable person with access to ammunition will do it again. It will happen again. It will. I am literally shaking in my chair right now. I have been all day when I start to think about it.

[Suja]

Bridget. I know how you feel. As I went to pick up Mira yesterday, all I could think about was just how many casualties there would be if some nutjob came in and started shooting down the hallway. There were a lot of hugs and kisses here too.

Off to the Museum of Natural History today. Mira has been having lessons on dinosaurs in school, and wants to see dinosaur bones. While there, we'll probably do the dinosaur IMAX show (3D) and butterfly pavilion. Hopefully catch the bug "zoo" too. Long day ahead.

[missychrissy]

I don't blame you one bit for being tempted to ask dbf to move to Canada. I've definitely had thoughts along those lines...how nice it would be to simply move out of this country. I was pretty upset all day yesterday too and cried on and off all day. Even at work. It was just too much to grasp. It still is, and I'm sure I'll have my moments again but I have to get ready and go to a funeral.

I'm getting really upset about the pro-gunners posting their nonsense all over the place. You can't even breath a word about any sort of change without them getting their panties in a wad about it. Obviously SOMETHING has to change because you're right Bridget, this is going to keep happening. And while I don't believe the gun laws is the only thing that has to change, it's still a huge piece of it. I absolutely resent the fact that I can't post my own personal views without it turning into a huge debate. I'm seriously considering un-friending anyone that 'goes there' with me because that's how strongly I feel about it.

I hate that I don't feel safe sending my kids to school, going to a shopping mall, or to the movies or anywhere at all.

[Cosmosmom]

I don't think it happens as often but sadly this does happen in other countries as well. I want to say in recent year or two that there was one at a university in canada and a mall in Toronto. But yeah if I had family there, I would probably seriously think of moving to canada.

As for talking to kids, i posted a few links on FB yesterday. I really liked the Fred Rogers quote. Something along the lines of bad stuff happens but when it does, take notice of all the helpers. There are so many good people out there.

I keep trying to think of it like a plane crash. Millions of people fly, thousands of flights a day. A crash is really pretty rare. Scary and a possibility but very rare. Otherwise I think I would be afraid to leave the house and that isn't any kind of living.

[AmeriBrit]

It is events like this where I think I'll never go back to America; I have noticed in the past when we go back to visit that I am hyper aware of the nut jobs who seem to be carrying around guns (especially in Arkansas). In 1996 when there was a school massacre in Scotland, the UK banned all handguns and most other guns. The only people who seem to have guns nowadays in this country are farmers.

[Bridget]

I know I'd only have to say it once and he'd be happy to go. His family would be ecstatic. Mine not so much.

[missychrissy]

It is events like this where I think I'll never go back to America; I have noticed in the past when we go back to visit that I am hyper aware of the nut jobs who seem to be carrying around guns (especially in Arkansas). In 1996 when there was a school massacre in Scotland, the UK banned all handguns and most other guns. The only people who seem to have guns nowadays in this country are farmers.

I don't blame you one bit. I don't want to live here any more.

[girlwonder]

I can't stop crying about it. Had to go offline yesterday because I just can't take the stories. It's just too much. We have to try to get the gun laws tightened up, making sure that mentally unbalanced people can't get weapons and that everyone has to get a background check to get a weapon. I am deeply upset, angered, saddened. I feel undone by this. This cannot be our new normal.

[AmeriBrit]

Exactly, Katy. Innocent lives should not be the cost for freedom to own a gun.

[3andMe]

I have been crying every time I think about it or hear or read a news story. I checked on it during my lunch break at work yesterday and started crying, and then when I went to get my car after work the attendant asked me if I'd heard the news and I nodded and got all choked up and started bawling again as I drove out of the parking lot. I pretty much got the facts as much as they were known yesterday afternoon and then put a news blackout on. I can't deal with it, and I can't be crying every few minutes around my kids.

Today I feel horrible, and I think it's just that I'm getting sick. DD is very sick too, and DH feels crummy. We're going to skip a planned holiday party tonight, hosted by our local multiples club. DD started crying when I told her, but we talked about how there will be lots of little twin babies there and they are vulnerable to illness and it wouldn't be fair to cough around them. I'm worried about coming down with something, because we are still (again!) very short-staffed at work, we have no buffer, and I'm even working extra next week to cover for some unexpected absences. We are already down a lot of staff and there is nobody to help if people are sick. I don't feel like I could call in sick unless it was really dire, although of course the policy is to call in sick if we are sick.

[missychrissy]

I can't stop crying about it. Had to go offline yesterday because I just can't take the stories. It's just too much. We have to try to get the gun laws tightened up, making sure that mentally unbalanced people can't get weapons and that everyone has to get a background check to get a weapon. I am deeply upset, angered, saddened. I feel undone by this. This cannot be our new normal.

I agree. It's a multifaceted issue, but gun control and mental illness treatment must be a part of it. Perhaps the glorification of violence in our media as well. Our society has to change all of it. Not just 1 thing.

Exactly, Katy. Innocent lives should not be the cost for freedom to own a gun.

Agreed.

I have been crying every time I think about it or hear or read a news story. I checked on it during my lunch break at work yesterday and started crying, and then when I went to get my car after work the attendant asked me if I'd heard the news and I nodded and got all choked up and started bawling again as I drove out of the parking lot. I pretty much got the facts as much as they were known yesterday afternoon and then put a news blackout on. I can't deal with it, and I can't be crying every few minutes around my kids.

Today I feel horrible, and I think it's just that I'm getting sick. DD is very sick too, and DH feels crummy. We're going to skip a planned holiday party tonight, hosted by our local multiples club. DD started crying when I told her, but we talked about how there will be lots of little twin babies there and they are vulnerable to illness and it wouldn't be fair to cough around them. I'm worried about coming down with something, because we are still (again!) very short-staffed at work, we have no buffer, and I'm even working extra next week to cover for some unexpected absences. We are already down a lot of staff and there is nobody to help if people are sick. I don't feel like I could call in sick unless it was really dire, although of course the policy is to call in sick if we are sick.

I'm sorry L. I hope y'all feel better soon.

I went to the funeral this morning and then spent the day bawling on the couch. I can't stop watching the news even though it's upsetting me. I watched the first dad of a 6-year-old victim give a press conference. My heart physically hurts.

And I'm telling ya, I think I'm going to end up with 1/2 my friends on FB because I'm getting sick and tired of the "it's not the guns" posts. Or worse yet, if we just prayed to God in school this wouldn't happen. As if those parents didn't pray for their kids safety, or the Christian children in that moment didn't pray.

[daylilies]

How do people assume the people who died were not Christian? Or that the gunman wasn't? And seriously...do people really tell themselves Christians have never killed or been killed before?

What I'm really sick of is people saying "It doesn't happen here." Obviously, it does, and if people would realize that and stop turning a blind eye, maybe we could prevent something like this. I for one don't think anyone should be able to walk into a school just by pressing a buzzer.

[missychrissy]

He wasn't buzzed in. He forced his way in. How, I don't know. They first said he shot his way in, but later it was reported his forced his way in another way but they didn't specify how. But no one buzzed him him.

And I don't think anyone assumes the victims weren't Christian, but what they're saying is that if everyone prayed to God every day in school then he would keep the schools safe and there'd not be any school shootings. Which is ridiculous. How many prayers have been uttered to cure cancer, for crying out loud?

[Bridget]

To me it's just a low blow insinuating if you aren't christian enough than you contribute to the moral degradation of our country. It's a low blow. And based on nothing.

[missychrissy]

I agree.

But it gives them permission to cling to their belief that we don't need to change anything regarding the 2nd amendment right to bear arms, and that's really what's at the root of it. People don't want to change anything about themselves or our society, so they just say, "Pray about it and that will fix everything." imo, we're no better off as a society than the Muslim extremists who are creating suicide bombers.

[missychrissy]

Ash, I got your card today. Your boys are so sweet! It was definitely the happy spot of my day.

Conner & I are watching Toy Story and Toy Story II. I don't wanna go anywhere...just stay here in this little bubble forever.

[daylilies]

Oh, I guess I heard early reports that he was buzzed in and met with an adult at the door, and forced his way past into a classroom.

Well...I guess now we have to wait for this to happen at a religious school before people realize this can happen anywhere.

[missychrissy]

Well, there was the Amish school shooting....

[daylilies]

Do they pray in school? I don't know a lot about the Amish.

[Bridget]

I will say though, that facebook right now is full of oversimplifying the problem here. This is just my opinion, of course. But this isn't just about gun control, or health care, or laws that prevent unwanted intervention for adults that have mental illness. It's about all of that and more. We are a society seriously lacking in moral values. I could go on and on but we've created a desensitized, violent, heartless, selfish, materialistic, consumer driven society and we're doing nothing to stop it. I agree, Chrissy, this is a terrorist attack and no different than the suicide bombers in other cultures. We have a long way to go to fix this. In the meantime, metal detectors in every freaking school at every freaking entrance.