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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #35611
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    Poor kids.

    B do you have to get a referral to see a specialist? I have always just called whoever I wanted to see and made the appt. It sounds like Kai really should see an allergist and have skin testing done. I think insurance should cover that until the other natural person you saw. At least if you can find out what it is, maybe a treatment or prevention plan can be formed for him. http://www.aafa.org/display.cfm?id=9&sub=19&cont=253

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  2. #35612

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    Poor kids Bridget! I'm so sorry her teacher yelled at them. A teacher shouldn't be like that.

    I feel bad because I don't remember that conversation, Myles, but I'm really happy that it meant something to you and that you still remember it.

  3. #35613

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    Ash that poem is wonderful! I actually LOVE poetry and I didn't read that you wrote it at first, skipped right to the poem and was trying to figure out who wrote it, if it was an American or British author then read your first paragraph where you said you wrote it lol! I am so slow sometimes. But that is a beautiful piece of work. You should really enter some poetry contest. Check out poets and writers online for some submission contest or journals that pay for pieces. I made some money off of poetry and short stories years ago, when I first went to college doing that and it was really fun. I wish I had the time to be a poet again. It is the most depressing thing to me that I think about, very frustrating to me that I feel like I am no longer creative. I was always very deep and now that I don't write on a daily basis like I used to I just don't feel right anymore but I keep thinking it is just an evolution of sorts and that I know I will come back to it. Your work makes me think of this. It is very beautiful.

    And Mandy, I remember you from TTC too. I am glad you are in here. I think about a lot of the ladies who used to post when I first came, I just loved the TTC room back then. It was such a great community. I remember that the first pic I posted of Ky in that room was of him on a hike when he was 4, so now that Elle is 4 it is just unbelievable.

    Erin

  4. #35614
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    The TTC room now has a different feel to me than it did back then. Maybe it's just that I'm in a very different place. There aren't many of us still here that I can think of. Makes me feel old!
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  5. #35615
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    I'm thinking that I must have already moved on to STC by that point. I think that I moved over there in 2008. I definitely think that it's a lot different now....I never go in TTC and only rarely in STC. Looking at charts is just no longer an interest.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  6. #35616
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    That's for sure.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  7. #35617
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Oh, Savana. She is breaking my heart.

    What is up with Kai? It never ends, does it?
    My thoughts exactly. My heart is breaking for both of them.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  8. #35618
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    Question: would it be weird for me to friend request the mother of a former student on fb? She is mutual friends with several staff members at my old school, including a teacher who was never her son's direct teacher. This kid was one of my most difficult and most rewarding and I'd love to know how he is doing. I only have one parent-of-student on my friend list because I know her well through a mutual project, and one friend who I knew first and then I worked with her LO later. Seems like the professional organization I belong to brings up the topic of fb friending clients and the vast majority say it's really unprofessional (plus I'm not certain she knows for sure who I am out of context). But all the teachers I know seem to have their students' parents "friended."

    Would you guys send a friend request? She clearly won't send me one and maybe her personal life is none of my business.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  9. #35619

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    You can send her a message without sending a friend request letting her know that you are interested in the boy's progress since you worked so closely with him. And let her know that she popped up because of mutual friends on fb so she knows you didn't just track her down. I don't think I would send a friend request.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  10. #35620

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    Quote Originally Posted by girlwonder View Post
    You can send her a message without sending a friend request letting her know that you are interested in the boy's progress since you worked so closely with him. And let her know that she popped up because of mutual friends on fb so she knows you didn't just track her down. I don't think I would send a friend request.
    I agree with this. Though I also don't think it would be unprofessional to friend her since he is no longer a student of yours. But I would send a message in this situation since you do not know her very well outside of being the mother of a student. I bet she would love to give an update on her child especially to someone who helped them in the past.

    Erin

  11. #35621

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    Oh, and Jen, I remember you from the TTC room as well. I joined on 2007 and I do remember you. I also would read your updates in STC. I was and still am more of a stalker type of member here as you can probably tell from my post count. I don't have as many posts as other members who have been here less time than I have because I do more reading that typing if you can believe it!

    (Says long winded, frequently multi-paragraphing poster lol)

    Erin

  12. #35622
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    I remember you being around, too, Jennifer, but I didn't follow STC back then so I lost track of you until the political room!
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  13. #35623

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    Mandy, I would use Katy's idea and just send a message through the site. I think FB might allow users to configure their profiles so people who aren't friends can't send PMs, but I am no expert. I can't believe your work tried to get you and G to break the law. How can they expect you to trust them after that point. ITA with chrissy that if it had all come to light, they'd have thrown you under the bus. Good for Gayle for standing up to them. (I love how you call your big boss the FL. It sounds like you work for Chairman Mao or something) ;P

    Bridget, that makes me so sad for Savana. I wish she could do the day all over again and have a wondrous, fun time. And I'm worried about Kai. He's having such severe skin reactions. I hope you find the root cause.

  14. #35624

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    For the record, I can't be sure that the teacher actually yelled at the kids. Savana cried because she switched two words around on an assignment the other day and also tells me she "gets in trouble" for making her twos backwards. She is SO sensitive.

    Jennifer, thanks for that link. I will call the allergist here in town today. Our pedi is 40 miles away and I made yet another appt with him to see about the constant peeing. I just wonder if I'm wasting my time and gas money and should just find a new dr. Now Kai has been coughing and snuffling all night. I don't know if he is sick or it's from the allergies and if I should keep him home or not.

    The school has employed this man who is a biologist and he's the one that takes them throught the school forest. Yesterday while we were waiting for the bus he had the kids all hold hands and close their eyes. Then he said, "Do you feel the power of the wind on your face? The power of the wind is going to make you have a great day today. The wind is always your friend."
    I thought that was so cool! I wanted to hug the old man!

  15. #35625
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlwonder View Post
    You can send her a message without sending a friend request letting her know that you are interested in the boy's progress since you worked so closely with him. And let her know that she popped up because of mutual friends on fb so she knows you didn't just track her down. I don't think I would send a friend request.
    Absolutely what I would do. I have issues with anyone from the school being my friend or my kid's friend. I'd have to be really, REALLY close to the person outside of the school setting before I'd have them on my friends list.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    For the record, I can't be sure that the teacher actually yelled at the kids. Savana cried because she switched two words around on an assignment the other day and also tells me she "gets in trouble" for making her twos backwards. She is SO sensitive.

    Jennifer, thanks for that link. I will call the allergist here in town today. Our pedi is 40 miles away and I made yet another appt with him to see about the constant peeing. I just wonder if I'm wasting my time and gas money and should just find a new dr. Now Kai has been coughing and snuffling all night. I don't know if he is sick or it's from the allergies and if I should keep him home or not.

    The school has employed this man who is a biologist and he's the one that takes them throught the school forest. Yesterday while we were waiting for the bus he had the kids all hold hands and close their eyes. Then he said, "Do you feel the power of the wind on your face? The power of the wind is going to make you have a great day today. The wind is always your friend."
    I thought that was so cool! I wanted to hug the old man!
    I think taking Kai elsewhere is probably a good idea Bridget. I don't think you have anything to lose, and perhaps may have something to gain (i.e. a dx would be nice)

    and that was too cool about the biologist!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  16. #35626

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    For the record, I can't be sure that the teacher actually yelled at the kids. Savana cried because she switched two words around on an assignment the other day and also tells me she "gets in trouble" for making her twos backwards. She is SO sensitive.

    Jennifer, thanks for that link. I will call the allergist here in town today. Our pedi is 40 miles away and I made yet another appt with him to see about the constant peeing. I just wonder if I'm wasting my time and gas money and should just find a new dr. Now Kai has been coughing and snuffling all night. I don't know if he is sick or it's from the allergies and if I should keep him home or not.

    The school has employed this man who is a biologist and he's the one that takes them throught the school forest. Yesterday while we were waiting for the bus he had the kids all hold hands and close their eyes. Then he said, "Do you feel the power of the wind on your face? The power of the wind is going to make you have a great day today. The wind is always your friend."
    I thought that was so cool! I wanted to hug the old man!
    Aw!
    Sorry Kai's having all these issues! And I understand about Savana being sensitive. The teacher probably didn't actually yell at the kids, I hope!

  17. #35627
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    Actually I remember many times in grade school where the whole class got yelled at (ok not really yelling but talked to) for bad behavior....it was never me but I learned that the teacher sometimes has to do it at the whole class level but it wasn't directed at me personally. I was probably second grade when that happened though. It's just when you have a lot of kids, sometimes things cannot be done individually. Maybe the teacher could talk to her and explain that she didn't mean it towards her personally but the class as a whole?

    Yup I would look around for a different doctor. Maybe even just go with a family doc and not a peds specialist? And definitely an allergist. I have a lot of love for them because it was an allergist that finally dx'd my asthma.....NINE years after my first attack in third grade. I also did some allergy testing but really only had reactions to cows and rodent droppings....neither of which I'm around really and she said most people react to rodent droppings. But it was nice to finally get on proper inhalers and get relief from coughing.
    I also made DH see one after we got together and he finally got tested and reacted super strongly to cats and dust....so now when the vaccum canister needs to be dumped, I do it. And he learned to wash his face and hands after dusting the house. And avoid cats as much as possible. He also was put on zyrtec for a number of years and that really helped (he was able to stop once he moved out of his mom's house....she is a smoker and that affects him a lot and she's finally stopped smoking so much around him).
    I have also heard a lot of complaints about allergies....it's incredibly dry here and I don't think that you all have had much rain either?

    Awww, I cannot believe I'm remembered from there. I don't even remember what my screen name was but I know I changed it. I actually don't remember a lot from that time in here....maybe it's a mental block? I know I joined when first started trying and of course I assumed it would only be a few months. Five years later and that time seems a long time ago and is fairly blurry. Boy has a lot changed in five years!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  18. #35628

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    I'm searching for allergist right now. The closest one is 37 miles! Ugh. My town is so weird.
    Savana knows the teacher is not yelling at her. Last year she told me, "I feel sorry for Miss S. I know she doesn't like to yell but she HAS to or most of the kids won't listen."
    Savana is just pretty mature in certain areas. Kids messing around while they are trying to learn really bugs her too so she gets why the teachers are frustrated. Bound to happen in a class of over 25 six year olds! But I'll keep my negative attitude in check lol!

    What was your screen name, Jennifer? It's bugging me now that I can't remember. Because I do remember when you changed it to cosmosmom. It had your first name in it didn't it?

  19. #35629
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    Yeah that can the problem of a small town. Do you have to go to fond du lac or west bend? Obviously Madison would have a ton of them. i know growing up that even though we had some specialists of things in Kenosha, my parents usually took us to Milwaukee. Like our otolaryngogolist was up there....he did my tonsils at Children's and did my sisters many tubes and various ear surgeries.

    That is great that at least she knows it wasn't directed at her. It is definitely annoying when you are trying to learn and people are messing around. Partially why I loved college so much....but especially once I transferred to mount mary. Even at carthage or uw-parkside the stupid boys were trying to show off and mess around when I was trying to learn....at mmc, half the students were full on adults but all of us were female. It was just a better and more serious learning environment. I big time mount mary.

    Umm I don't totally recall what my screen name was. I'm thinking maybe I was going by Janine? I tended to use that online....was my French name in class for like 5 years. I don't know why I didn't want to go by Jennifer....I mean it's not like Jennifer is an unusual name! LOL

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  20. #35630
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    I'm a little alarmed that Conner's told me he's been in time out at least twice. I'm not sure if he's been in time out more often. It doesn't appear to phase him at all, which boggles my mind because when I was in K if I'd have gotten in trouble I would have cried about it for days! I don't remember any one of my girls ever being put in time out. Conner admitted to what he did too, and said he knew he wasn't supposed to when he did it. He's very nonchalant about the whole thing. First, he kept talking while they were on the carpet even after the teacher reminded him he wasn't supposed to. Then when it was one little boy's turn for show and tell, the teacher said, "Guess what ___ is going to show us today?" and Conner spoke up and said, "Is it poop?"

    omg! Who says that? WHY??

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  21. #35631

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    Lol! I know who says that!!! Five year old boys!!
    Kai and Conner would get along great, Chrissy. Kai never misses a chance to talk about poop.

  22. #35632
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    I was both shocked and laughing at the same time when he told me about it. Again, it was serious, straight faced...not upset at all that no one else seemed to appreciate his suggestion or that he got in trouble for it. He was just like, "We can't talk about poop in school." Ok then. Lesson learned?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  23. #35633

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    Yup, that is one of the biggest thing to learn in school is that the rules are different. Savana's toughest rule to follow was that they were not allowed to pick up sticks at recess. It was the one and only time she "got on yellow" for misbehavior. But she came home in tears about that.
    At their new school it's apparently not a rule because most kids were carrying sticks through the forest yesterday. Sometimes they just need something to hold, you know? There was only one boy that lost his stick because he couldn't stop swinging them around and wacking people.

  24. #35634
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    LOL Oh my, maybe it's a boy thing? I was shocked when DH told me how much trouble he got into in K.....really he's normally a pretty quiet and shy dude.

    I only got in trouble in school twice....and I remember both times very clearly and was upset at getting in trouble (I did do wrong so deserved it).

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  25. #35635
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    I have been a little dismayed by the sheer number of rules at school. There are a lot of simply practical rules that a lot of people just don't pick up on, for whatever reason, even living in a big city. They are told they need to walk on the right side and not take up the whole hallway, be aware of personal space and people around them and move out of the way if people are trying to get past, and if they are the people going by, to be polite and say excuse me etc. The three main tenets are Be Safe, Be Responsible, Be Respectful. But on the other hand, I've been told they are not allowed to run. Not even at recess, not even on the playground. ????? They are told it's not safe. They have been coming home squirming and running and bouncing all night because they are used to walking and running and bouncing all day. They can walk five miles and not be tired.

    I love that they have singing class, dance class, art class. They have been coming home and showing me dance moves. DS is totally in his element. He says he has so many friends. DD is discouraged, because finally DS is not clinging to her as his only social support, and he has more friends than she does, but she runs over and practices writing her name sometimes just for fun. They both love their teacher and many of the other kids, and are constantly telling me about new and interesting things that other children and other parents are telling them. They think that every other language spoken is Spanish. I keep telling them that someone else is speaking Arabic or Cantonese or something, and they say, "No, I'm pretty sure Ahmed and Rain speak Spanish at home."

    I do spend a ton of time on homework with them. DD whips hers out in the estimated 20 minutes. DS spends hours on his. He takes it literally when the teacher writes, "Do your best work" and I have an incredibly hard time getting him to speed it up. It's not enjoyable for either of us, even as he is decorating each letter with multiple colors of ink and taking 15 minutes for each iteration of his name. I have started standing over him, telling him he's only allowed one color of pen and he needs to count to 10 and finish his name by the time he's done counting. But I have to do that with every single item, and there are pages. It's exhausting. My mom and I both find DS and homework to be awful (and he doesn't like it either, despite how much effort he puts into it), and we don't relish being taskmasters, but on the other hand, we'd rather spend 45 minutes telling him to do it over and over again than have him agonize over it for 2 hours while nobody else gets to do much that's fun.

    I am getting ready to go on a playdate with Krystal5 and her daughter Maiya from APA, so I have to pack up some snacks. We're going for a hike with our toddlers in a regional park. I'll write more later.


  26. #35636
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    Have fun, L!

    I totally LOL-ed at Conner. And need to make sure Mira stays well clear of him and Kai. Thanks to my brother and Jack, she's ALL about poop, ALL the time (Jennifer, it's not just a boy thing). And she's got a thing for "older boys"

    Bridget, the biologist sounds really cool. I don't know if this is an option for you, but it might be worthwhile taking Kai to the nearest University hospital. They tend to have all the specialists in one place, have experience with complicated cases, and have equipment that regular doctors don't have access to. Plus, cheaper than regular docs, if you do have to pay out of pocket.

  27. #35637

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    LOL Conner! Well I guess if the worst thing he does this year is say the word poop, you're doing pretty well.

    Have fun L! I don't know if Josh is learning a lot of rules, but they sure are doing a lot of work! They're also going to start getting homework that they have a few days to do. I can't remember if they get it on Friday and turn it in on Monday or the other way around. I think it is the latter.

    Josh was like that about Spanish, he thought all foreign languages are Spanish. Now he also recognizes Chinese as a language and he thinks that you can read it by figuring out what each character looks like. "like if it looks like a boat, it says boat". I know nothing about Chinese.

  28. #35638
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    On the 'language' front, Mira asked me, completely out of the blue, what 'Spanish' was (as it pertains to language). I explained to her that it's a language, just like English and Malayalam (my mother tongue). Then she asked me what English was. So, I switched back and forth between the two languages I know to tell her that when I speak one way, it's English, and when I speak the other way, it's Malayalam, and when Mirtha Aunty (her nanny) speaks to her, it's in Spanish. She seemed deep in thought after that. Either she got it, or I confused the heck out of her.

  29. #35639
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    L, that just broke my heart to read about R struggling so much with homework. It sounds excessive and really, I think it's absolutely unnecessary at that age.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  30. #35640

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    I don't think G has said poop at school yet, but I am waiting for it. It's one of his favorite subjects. That and his "toot bottom" He had the longest loudest one yesterday that I couldn't help but laugh. That doesn't help my 4 year old learn what is appropriate ;)

    The hardest rule for G is keeping his hands to himself. He likes to touch other people. His teacher has talked to me and emailed me about it. I am trying to give his teacher the benefit of doubt, but she doesn't come across as a preschool teacher. But maybe she's a person who enjoys kids over adults. I have tried to chat with her and I get shut down. The main thing is G likes her, and he learning and having fun at school.

    Yesterday I took G to library storytime and they have sharing time. This little boy who is younger than G, I would say 3y7m brought a fake retractable knife to show everybody. I know Halloween is just around the corner, but a fake knife to a preschool storytime?! The same kid went to the playground and was running around playing with it, trying to stab other kids. wtf?!! seriously?! The mom was sorta distracted by younger sister, but she finally took it away from him. It's really irritating when I try to get my son some exercise and I have to keep him away from stuff like that.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

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