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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #35461

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    Chrissy, I want to apologize in advance for pointing Bobbie to online recipes for fake blood. Don't let her fool you. ;)

  2. #35462
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Chrissy, I want to apologize in advance for pointing Bobbie to online recipes for fake blood. Don't let her fool you. ;)
    It's ok. If it involves heating anything, she won't do it anyway. She barely knows how to operate the microwave and I'd bet a paycheck she can't light the stove because it involves a match. She's brilliant academically, but seriously kitchen challenged. I'm sure she'll look at the recipes, but if her sister doesn't mix it up Bobbie ain't gonna.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  3. #35463

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    LOL! You gotta teach the girl to cook! (I can also help with that ;P)

  4. #35464
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    LOL! You gotta teach the girl to cook! (I can also help with that ;P)
    She'd need to actually BE in the kitchen! lol She does ok herself...she microwaves stuff and makes salads a lot. She tried to microwave a veggie burger once and it made my apartment smell like she had a rotting corpse in here. Bless her dear little heart!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  5. #35465

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    Oh my!

  6. #35466

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    Okay, Kate, where are the fake blood recipes. I am going to attempt a very scary zombie this year for Halloween!

    Erin

  7. #35467
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    Bobbie is a trip. She's completely opposite of Jesi...Jesi is the chef/baker girl, but she doesn't give a fig about academics. She loves culinary arts and technology classes though and does very well in those. It amazes me because they share genes and had the exact same parenting/economic background but they're complete opposites. Bobbie is more mild mannered and soft spoken. Jesi is loud, outgoing, and a prankster. Both are deeply compassionate though.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  8. #35468

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    I just googled fake blood recipes. I have no idea which ones are good or not! She said she was going to use red paint rather than spend the money on the store stuff so I had to set her straight. LOL

  9. #35469

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Bobbie is a trip. She's completely opposite of Jesi...Jesi is the chef/baker girl, but she doesn't give a fig about academics. She loves culinary arts and technology classes though and does very well in those. It amazes me because they share genes and had the exact same parenting/economic background but they're complete opposites. Bobbie is more mild mannered and soft spoken. Jesi is loud, outgoing, and a prankster. Both are deeply compassionate though.

    I almost wish I'd had two just to see how different they'd come out. Actually, I would have liked to have twins. I think it's fascinating they seem to either end up with parallel lives or be complete opposites.

  10. #35470
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    My 2 boys are only young but I can already see that they are very different personality-wise. Travis is academic and quiet. Cash is a dare devil and very, very loud. It is crazy how different family can be!

    The job is going really really well. And I got good news today as well. The government is going to pay for a big part of our childcare costs, so I will actually have some money to spend out of every paycheck! I have all sorts that I want to save up for including a trip back to Arkansas and a new car. LOL. We'll definitely have enough to have a mini vacation to Scotland like I've always wanted to do. Any ways, yeah, the job itself is great. I do mostly what they call interventions-working in small groups or one-to-one with kids who have Individual Education Plans. I work mostly on math and English skills. Today, I taught some kids how to simplify a fraction. It's so great to see the light bulbs click in their heads. I do little jobs for the teacher as well like making copies, laminating things, and cutting things up, but for the most part, I work with the kids 90% of the time.

    Sorry I haven't had time to comment on what's going on with everyone else. I'll try to find some time this weekend to get caught up with what is going on with everyone else.

  11. #35471
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    I'm glad your job is going so well Ash. And that's GREAT that you'll get daycare assistance! Woo hoo! Imagine working for a paycheck and actually getting to use some of it?! lol

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  12. #35472

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    I've been reading but not commenting much as I don't feel like I have much to contribute. One thing though: Bridget, girl. Just homeschool. You are aching to do it. Savana isn't in love with school and Kai hasn't been going long enough to know. S wanted to go to school and so she now has gone for year - she doesn't like it too much anyway, right? Kai would probably be good however it works out. Just pull them out and homeschool. This from a person who has never for one minute considered homeschooling!

    I went to my doctor yesterday because I need to get my thyroid levels checked. I'm still gaining weight despite being on a 1200 to 1700 calorie a day diet, working out at 3 to 5 times a week (45 to 60 mins elliptical, 3 mile runs, etc.) I'm now at my heaviest I have ever been in my life. I am going to do a 24 hour pee test to check on my adrenal system. But then my doctor mentioned something interesting: I have been getting epidural spinal injections every three months now for almost two years, as well as one steroid injection in my foot this summer. She thinks that the injections might be causing the weight gain. Interesting. It would be better than to have an out of whack adrenal system. If that is the case then I have to try to thread my way through the physical pain of my back/leg (which can make going to the grocery store an almost impossible task) vs. the mental pain and bad health of being overweight and try to figure out which one causes me more difficulty. Maybe I can depend more on pain pills and go for another two or three months without an injection to see if I can get some of this weight off before I get another injection. The pain pills make me nauseous, but if I take them with a bite of something it helps a little bit. Anyway, it's given me something to ponder.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  13. #35473

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    Ash, yay for getting some of your expenses covered by the government! Yes, definitely do something fun with the extra cash. (I can't remember... does "cash" mean money in the U.K. the way it does here? I can't remember people using it while I lived there, but that was nearly 20 yrs ago.)

    Katy, that's a tough decision. I can't remember what is the cause of your leg pain again, but it sounds pretty severe. I hope you can find an alternative to the injections, just so you can give yourself some time to figure out if they're the cause of your unexplained gain. You said you already tried acupuncture, if I remember correctly. I'm sorry that your situation is very frustrating. I would feel exactly the same way.

    Bridget, I think Katy gave some good advice. Homeschooling is always a very good option for you to seriously consider, especially for you, as you are so wonderful with your kids.

    Erin, if you won't be around bees or flies while you're walking around zombified, I've used Hawaiian punch syrup as fake blood in the past. It's a mess, but very convincing.

  14. #35474

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    Thanks, Myles. My leg pain is from spondylolisthesis in my spine. Basically the two little wings on either side of a vertebra have broken off and so there is nothing holding one vertebra on top of the other except my spinal column, my muscles and probably just habit. So one vertebra is slipping over the other and squishing the nerves that go to my legs. I have muscle weakness and burning deep pressure and pain in my lower back, hip, front of thigh and tingling and numbness down to my toes when I don't get the shots. The only cure for it is surgery, but that is a fix only for a while probably because usually after about ten years the next vertebra down the line breaks and the same thing happens all over again. I have been trying to put it off because it would be six months to full recovery and just an awful surgery (they would open me up both from the spine and from the abdomen, put a metal cage on my spine, etc.) But this just another checkmark in the "yes" column. If I did end up getting the surgery, I would probably spend more time replying to threads on here!

    I am working on my mobile sites today - I have 12 to do by Monday afternoon so I am already behind schedule.

    I think we are going to sell my car to pay off out credit card debt and just have one car until maybe January or February. It's actually going to work out fine I think. I really don't like my car that much. It's a Honda Element and it is just too much space for me. I much prefer driving a sedan. So we would be sharing my dh's Volvo S80, which I really really really like a lot! He is traveling almost weekly for work now and since I dropped all my classes, all my work stuff is at home - we can get along quite well without two cars for a while I think. And if we do get another one, the interest would be at a much lower rate than the credit card interest. We are still thinking about it, but I would really like to get out from under the cc debt.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  15. #35475

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    Oh, and by the way Myles: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
    Last edited by girlwonder; 09-21-2012 at 02:03 PM.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  16. #35476

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    Katy, that is a tough decision regarding your pain and gain. I hope you can figure something out that will cause you minimal physical and emotional pain. It must be so tough dealing with the leg/back pain especially. My aunt has horrible osteo-arthritis and is only 50 and it is really bad for her. I wish there was a way that we could naturally take pain away as that can really suck the energy out of you.

    And Bridget, I agree to just go ahead and homeschool if Savana is still having issues at school. Doesn't make sense to send her if you are up to the task. I would make sure though that she knew it was a semi-permanent thing, like if we do it, we will have to do it until she is in X grade before you will consider sending her back to regular school. Do you guys have the K12 program in your state? The homebased charter school? I know it is in Illinois because when we might have moved to Chicago, I was semi-set on Ky and Elle being schooled that way. You basically get all the supplies from them as they get federal funding that a regular school would get for your child and you also get assessments to make sure the kids are keeping up academically and I think they have meetups too with other kids/parents in the program. I thought it sounded like a great option for parents, even working parents as you can learn at any time with the program. They have it in Ohio as well and I think here in GA too.

    I thought about you today because our principal sent out a message about our MAP test results being in and the comment you shared from Savana wanting to study her map. It was funny because when Ky told me he was having a MAP test, I thought it was for an actual map too and was asking him the capital of random states like New Hampshire lol. I am so slow sometimes. Ky was cracking up at me.

    Erin

  17. #35477
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    I've been thinking a lot about what I wrote earlier and I am of so many minds about it. I'm supposed to be packing and getting ready to leave town, but I don't want to leave while I'm mulling this over so much because I don't want to hunt and peck on my phone about it. I keep feeling like there HAS to be this happy medium, between sheltering children from all the bad things in this world (including bullies) and giving them some exposure and some tools and resources to deal with it on their own.

    The OR nurses have this kind of culture where they are really mean to the new nurses coming in because they say that if they can hack that, then they will be able to handle the working environment of dealing with surgeons and stuff. I always say that's totally ridiculous--new staff should be nurtured and supported, and then I realize that it sounds like I'm saying the opposite about my own children, but I'm not. It's not an all-or-nothing. I don't want to create hostile environments, and I don't want to tolerate bullying, and I don't want to say it's okay. I just know it goes on, all the time, and I want my children to be able to talk to me and to their teachers and to each other and to the bully if appropriate and figure out ways to deal with each incident as it happens and figure out ways to better handle things in the future.

    My DH, like Erin's, had some awful experiences, and never felt like his parents had his back. He was expressly forbidden to never fight back, and his mother was a teacher at his school and he thinks she was particularly clueless about what was going on. He specifically remembers one horrible time in grade school when someone said that he felt badly about how DH had been excluded, and he wanted to be friendly now. That they could play a game. DH happily followed him down to a deserted corner of the playground and then was surrounded by all the other children who took turns taunting him and jeering that he could be so gullible. He was also followed and beaten up on his way home from school, and he felt helpless and alone. These are the kinds of things that mold an adult, and even when large and handsome and smart, there is still this vulnerable picked-on little boy inside. I feel like DH had so much more going for him than I did as a child (socioeconomic class, stability, etc) and I was always the new kid and was shopping at thrift stores and had hippy luddite parents and never had a tv or microwave and barely knew who the president was. I got teased plenty about all kinds of things and once threatened to get beaten up, but for some reason they didn't seem to disable me the same way they did my dh.

    I think also there is probably no good one-size-fits-all answer for this. And what may be a good strategy for one person or one child or one family may not work well for another. I can already tell that DS copes way differently with setbacks than DD. She is more resilient about some things, but more vulnerable to social shunning.

    School is very difficult. The academic part is the easier part.


  18. #35478
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    Katy! I'm glad to see you posting on here. I'm sorry you're still gaining the weight after all the effort you are putting in to lose it. I hope the doctors can figure it out for you...if only there were people like Dr. House from the TV show!

    Bridget, I agree about the homeschooling. You seem to really want to do it and the kids love it, so why not? If I lived back in Arkansas, I'd probably sway towards home schooling my two. There's not enough wilderness out my way now for me to feel free enough to homeschool the boys. I hate hate hate seeing the bullying-side of kids at school. Unfortunately, it seems to be human nature for some people to be bullies. I mentioned a few posts ago about a boy who I felt was a mental bully to a girl who sat next to him. Well, today, the teacher moved her away from him (along with a few other kids) and I was so relieved. He's a clever little boy in some ways, but he never smiles and always seem to just be miserable no matter what. She, on the other hand, has leeched on to me and I'm her BFF. LOL. I told her that I'm everyone's best friend at school and she was like, "But, Miss, I'm your favorite and I'm your best friend forever!"

    Myles, people do say 'cash' for money here but there are a lot more words as well that people use. You know what the English are like for having 50 words for the same expression. Funny you mention that, though, because those paycheck lending companies have recently started advertising on TV and there is one commercial that comes on a lot that says the word 'cash' a lot in it and any time that Travis hears it, he shouts, "They're talking to Cash on the TV!" He's so funny about the TV. He watches a show on the Disney channel about two skater boys called Zeke and Luther and they do that thing where they talk to the camera and he always says, "Mummy, these big boys are talking to ME!"

    Any way. I feel like I'm rambling on now!

  19. #35479

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    Ash, your job sounds great and that's fantastic you will get help with childcare costs. That can really be what breaks people.
    Lol about the maps testing, Erin.

    You know, I have never had anyone say to me, "Just pull them out and homeschool them." So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Katy! And Erin, Myles, Ash. Thank you. I feel like we should stick it out until Christmas like I've been telling Savana, just for consistency sake. So unless anything major happens before then, we'll continue until then. That will hopefully curb any feelings I have like we didn't give it a fair shot. We do have that program here where the public school system gives you laptops and everything along with the curriculum. I thought if we continued i'd do that when the kids were a bit older as it's all computer work and I really do want them doing more active learning.

    My last thoughts on bullying are that I agree it happens into adulthood but I don't think early or frequent exposure to it makes it easier to deal with. I think it just causes more damage. Kind of like people who think making kids wait teaches patience. It just doesn't work like that, imo. The less bullying children have to deal with as young children, the less they will have for a grand total in their lives and less mean people always equals better in my mind.

    Just got home for the appt for Kai. I am feeling hopeful. She gave me a list of supplements to give him like fish oil, papaya enzymes, vit d, probioitics and also to cut out dairy and eggs for six weeks. She can do a finger prick and test him for 97 different allergies for $130 but I'll have to speak to dbf about that. She also gave me some sulfer tablets (not the same as the sulfur i've been using for the maybe scabies which she thinks is eczema) to try as a homeopathic remedy. She says it may do nothing and it may fix everything. The best part of it all is she said she's going to help me figure everything out and has no doubt in her mind that it's something we can fix in less than 3 appts. I've never had a dr look at me and say, "We are going to fix this. Don't worry". That was worth my money right there.
    Also, no glucose in his urine so no diabetes unless it's the rare one Suja mentioned which she brought up also and said we can look into that if what we're trying now does not work.

  20. #35480

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    So glad the appointment made you hopeful regarding Kai. I hope he doesn't like milk and eggs too much. I'd be so sad without them.

    In regards to the allergy testing, if your have insurance can she suggest an allergist that can do the prick test that won't be so expensive. DH had that done with our regular allergist and all we had to pay was a "specialist" fee of $25 at the time. That was when he was going through his mystery illness last year where his tongue swelled up on him in the middle of the night and kept doing it scaring the mess out of me because I'd thought he'd asphyxiate while I was asleep. It all the sudden stopped though and they said he wasn't allergic to anything via the blood test.

    Erin

  21. #35481
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    Oh Katy, what you described sounds utterly awful! I had no idea you were dealing with all that. I hope you can find something that alleviates the pain just long enough so you can determine if it is the injections that is contributing to your weight gain.

    Bridget, I'm so happy for you that that appointment went well. It must be a HUGE relief for you since I felt a great deal of it just reading your post! I also think homeschooling is the way to go and Christmas break isn't that far off.

    I just had a HUGE argument with Bobbie. She let Jesi driver her car today. By 'her' car, I mean her dad's. That I pay the car insurance for. Jesi doesn't even have her permit and they did it on a real road. I FLIPPED MY LID. Bobbie started to scream back at me that I was bullying and it pissed me off even more. She took a HUGE risk-not only of Jesi wrecking and causing someone injury, but of getting caught, having the car impounded, Jesi not being eligible for a permit till she's 21 and Bobbie actually losing her licence. If she had hit someone else, it could easily have been 1,000s of dollars for me. I had every right to be angry. I'm still furious. And I told her she must get her own insurance and until she does she can only use that car to go to work and back and she CANNOT have any passengers with her. Between that and the 3 accidents she's had, I cannot continue to carry car insurance for her.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  22. #35482

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    Wow Chrissy, you are nice after her 3 accidents to still have her on your insurance. My brother was a similar driver as her, the youngest brother who is the only one that isn't...I guess the description is weird and overly dramatical lol, but he was a HORRIBLE young driver. He literally had about 10 accidents in a two year period, one of which, he ran my mom's car into her own house. It wasn't even snowing or raining or anything, he just wasn't paying attention. He never listened to her or any of us when we told him to pay attention with his driving and not overreact. She dropped him off her insurance the day after his second accident. He actually hit someone on the freeway, rear ended them and they spun off the road. Luckily no one was hurt but he actually told the lady that if she hadn't been driving under the speed limit it wouldn't have happened. He was 19 or 20 then. He will be 23 in Nov and hasn't had an accident in a year now so my mom thinks he has finally stopped being accident prone.

    So happy nothing happened. I would be really afraid of her driving around a car insured by me.

    Erin

  23. #35483
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    Officially, she's only had 1 fender bender in the supermarket parking lot, but she's hit 2 deer. I know I'm gonna hit one because I keep saying this, but in 20+ years of driving, I haven't hit one yet. Rich has hit 2 in 20+ years of driving. She's only been licensed a few months! When I told her she should drive slower when it's foggy out she said she was. She was doing 50. In a 55. It was early morning and the fog was quite dense. She should have been doing 40-45. AND she should have locked the brakes up (smashed them hard). She didn't. She simply 'tried to slow down' more.

    Because we're in a rural area, I'm not as upset about her hitting deer as I am about her letting Jesi drive. It makes me wonder who else she let drive that car. She's not showing any good judgement at all. Not with having access to a car anyway. I expected better of her.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  24. #35484

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    Holy crap, Chrissy. I would be irate too. You hit the nail on the head when you say she is showing poor judgement. That's the biggest issue here. Driving comes with a lot of responsibility.

    Erin, I wonder if this test is different? I did tell her that cost was a big factor for us and she said that the allergy tests costs them that much, they don't make a profit at all. She actually offered to send the kit home with me at no cost and we could do it ourselves if I thought Kai would be more comfortable with us pricking his finger and then send it in to the company and pay at that point.

    I'm actually a little pissed right now because at dbf's request I called our pedi's office to request an allergy test for at least the most common allergens since our insurance would cover that and it would be great to know about the dairy and eggs. That's going to be really hard! I mean BUTTER??? Come on! lol
    Anyway, I spoke to the nurse and she said that Dr. C wants me to keep a food journal. I told her I really feel we are past that point, and I am quite sure he is allergic to something and I'd like the allergy panel done. She said she'd call me back. She called back and said Dr. C says they aren't going to just blindly do testing at my request for no apparent reason. Wha???? Ok well that just makes me happy I went elsewhere. I just don't know how we will continue to afford this. We will figure out a way I am sure.

  25. #35485
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Holy crap, Chrissy. I would be irate too. You hit the nail on the head when you say she is showing poor judgement. That's the biggest issue here. Driving comes with a lot of responsibility.

    Erin, I wonder if this test is different? I did tell her that cost was a big factor for us and she said that the allergy tests costs them that much, they don't make a profit at all. She actually offered to send the kit home with me at no cost and we could do it ourselves if I thought Kai would be more comfortable with us pricking his finger and then send it in to the company and pay at that point.

    I'm actually a little pissed right now because at dbf's request I called our pedi's office to request an allergy test for at least the most common allergens since our insurance would cover that and it would be great to know about the dairy and eggs. That's going to be really hard! I mean BUTTER??? Come on! lol
    Anyway, I spoke to the nurse and she said that Dr. C wants me to keep a food journal. I told her I really feel we are past that point, and I am quite sure he is allergic to something and I'd like the allergy panel done. She said she'd call me back. She called back and said Dr. C says they aren't going to just blindly do testing at my request for no apparent reason. Wha???? Ok well that just makes me happy I went elsewhere. I just don't know how we will continue to afford this. We will figure out a way I am sure.
    WTH does he mean 'for no apparent reason'?! omg Bridget, I'm ticked too. I'm so glad you went elsewhere. Yikes.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  26. #35486
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    Bridget, I would call, insist on talking to the doctor yourself, and explain what your 'no apparent reason' is, exactly. And maybe use some colorful language while I'm at it. I've got steam coming out my ears, just thinking about the nerve of that guy.

  27. #35487

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    I know! I'm sad because because he's been the best so far. I really like him. Anyway, my dad called today to see how the appt went and said not to hesitate on anything because of money. He'll help us out. Dbf is just always worried about money and he's skeptical of the homeopathic remedies. I don't blame him for that. But I am relieved that my dad will be there if we need it, although I think we can cut back on things to make it work.

  28. #35488
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    Your dad is simply the best.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  29. #35489

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    Isn't he, though? I just feel eternally grateful for him.

    Kai's teacher came outside with Savana today to find me to see how the appt went. I thought that was so sweet. Then tonight she emailed me from her personal email saying, "I hope you don't mind that I email you from home..." and she gave me a bunch of advice and info on preparing meals dairy and egg free. I thought that was incredibly kind. It's her friday night and she's thinking of Kai. That really touched me.

    Chrissy, are the kids feeling better?

  30. #35490
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    Now why didn't you end up with someone more like your father? Isn't that what they say? Little girls grow up to marry their dads? You're proof that doesn't happen.

    Kai's teacher is a sweetheart.

    All the kids are feeling better. Poor Jesi had a migraine all night. Bobbie was feeling like throwing up last night, but she's been experiencing that a lot whenever she rides in a car. Even if she's driving. I wonder if it's a side effect of her medication? Even though I told her she was only to take her car to work & back until she gets her own insurance, she took it anyway. My brother saw her at the grocery store and her headlight is out from where she hit the deer the other night. She's going to get a ticket. Rich was telling me tonight that he's been telling her for 2 weeks now she needs to buy a wheel bearing. She's driving 30 miles one way to work and if that goes, her wheel can fall off. I've had it happen to me. She hasn't done it yet. I'm really aggravated with her right now.

    Conner & Syd both have stuffy noses. Conner has said his throat feels better, but then it feels sore again. He's actually eaten a little (a piece of bbq chicken and a small piece of cake) which is more than he had yesterday. His fever seems to be gone, although he's laying on the couch watching movies and that's not like him. Syd had me ripping her DVDs and converting them to a format that will enable her to play them on her iPod. I'm not an audio/video person, so this was all new ground for me. I can't say I'm a fan. Apple makes it quite the pain. It makes no logical sense to me.

    There are some pics on FB. One I'd LOVE to use of me & Jesi as a profile pic but I can't. Not only is Rich in it, but he's reaching as hard as he can around Jesi to also put his arm around me. He's always insisting on hugging me and telling me he loves me. He's going to make me be mean again and I hate that. I don't like him touching me though. I have zero desire in working things out and I really don't see myself ever going back. But I like how we get along when he's trying. Is that awful? I feel awful.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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