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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #35371
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    Oh Myles! His actions are perplexing because he's a child. lmao!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  2. #35372
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I got really lazy. By the time I had Conner, if he didn't want to go to bed, I'd find quiet things for him to do just so I could get some sleep. Of course, his room was in our room so it worked out.

    This too shall pass. That's what I kept (keep!) telling myself through the rough phases. Unfortunately, another equally frustrating one is sure to follow.
    I had been letting her sleep when she is good and ready, and the upshot of it is that she's not getting enough sleep (asleep at 10, up at 7), which sure doesn't do anything to improve her temperament. I'm just over fighting about sleep. The problem now is that she needs to sleep, she tells me she's tired, but also that she doesn't want to sleep, and then does everything in her power to prolong the inevitable (singing LOUDLY, going to the bathroom multiple times, complaining about her diaper being too tight/too loose - I adjusted her diaper 15 times yesterday, and just ordered some pull-ups although I have quite a few diapers to go through, taking off her diaper and beating me over the head with it, trying to poke my eyes/scratch eyes if I close my eyes, ... I'm sure I'm missing a few things). Part of the problem is that we'd get through some crazy period, she'd be an angel for a couple of days, and WHAMO! we're in the middle of some other insanity, and it just never seems to end.

    I just don't know what to do with her anymore, and it scares the heck out of me because what's going to happen when she turns into a teenager?

    And DH is not helping because after taking certain level of abuse, I just up and leave, and won't talk to her (not fair to ask her to not scream and talk calmly when I can't follow my own advice) until I'm sure I won't scream, and he's all up in my business about how stressful it is for him to watch all this. Buddy, try putting the kid down yourself for a change. I've done it for 2 1/2 years; your turn.

  3. #35373
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    And DH is not helping because after taking certain level of abuse, I just up and leave, and won't talk to her (not fair to ask her to not scream and talk calmly when I can't follow my own advice) until I'm sure I won't scream, and he's all up in my business about how stressful it is for him to watch all this. Buddy, try putting the kid down yourself for a change. I've done it for 2 1/2 years; your turn.
    Uh, yeah. He's an adult, I think he's fair game to receive all your frustration especially if he's not helping you through all that.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #35374

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    Myles, I'm sorry your story made me laugh. They are the most perplexing creatures that is for sure.

    I'm laying off the internet for awhile but still checking in here now and then because I'd miss y'all too much if I didn't. I just found myself carrying around ugly feelings about something an old schoolmate of mine posted on my fb sticking up for the boy scouts and then later that idiot "friend" of mine who is always talking about his all loving God and then basically is condemning Obama for not bombing the **** out of anyone who kills an american. I finally unfriended him but more importantly I had a stern lecture with myself about letting people I really don't even know anymore get to me. WHY do I care if some random girl from my high school loves boy scouts? And why do I let one of the bouncers from one of the clubs I used to work at in Hawaii get under my skin because he's a rabid hyprocrite? Good gravy I'll probably never see either of them again in my life!
    So, yeah. I've locked my laptop in bedroom instead of out on the kitchen counter where I could pop on and check it whenever I had a moment. No need for that. But now I'm here checking my email so thought I'd see how my secular ladies are doing.

    Thanks for asking about Kai. He is not better. Friday we go see a natural medicine dr in Madison. I have mixed feelings about it because it's expensive and not covered by insurance which of course has dbf all irritated. But I do have this nagging feeling, that I've had for a long time, that something is not right with Kai. And I need help figuring out what it is. I'm not getting it from our dr so going to try this.

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    Oh Bridget, I'd really hoped he was doing better. I hope this dr can help. I'm very concerned as well. Please update us as soon as you can. You know we'll be worried.

    As for why you care so much...I think it's the scorpio in us (even though I don't believe in that stuff). I am the exact same way. I care far too much and get myself all upset about things that intellectually I know shouldn't bother me. Especially in regards with people that shouldn't mean anything to me. So, I have no helpful advice but just saying I can relate. And I think locking your computer away is probably a very smart thing to do.

    Another idea would be to use FB just for us. Believe me, I've put a lot of thought into it.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  6. #35376

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    We're having bedtime issues too Suja, if it makes ya feel any better. You would think the boy would be tired. He wakes up at 6:30am. Yesterday he got home at 4:30, he played and we read a huge stack of books. Then at 7pm when it's bedtime he is bouncing off the walls. I lay down with him, stroke his hair, sing to him, rub his back. Finally I had to leave because he is not settling down at all. For one hour, every 2-3 minutes he would come out of his bedroom "mommmmy I caaannnoottt slllleeeeeepp" For one hour. How are you not tired child?! Do you know how early 6:30am comes around here.

    Happy belated birthday Mandy!!

    Bridget, dang it I was hoping Kai was all better.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

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    Oh Bridget, when you hadn't posted about it, I assumed that Kai must be getting better. Poor Kai, and poor you! Insurance be ****ed (easy to say, harder to do), but you have to do what it takes to get him the help he needs, and I really hope that you guys get to the bottom of this.

    Not that I'm a big fan of self diagnosis, but have you tried something like this, to maybe get some direction on what to look for?

    http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sym...kin%2520rashes
    Last edited by Suja; 09-19-2012 at 12:23 PM.

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    I say delete all the people you don't like on facebook and make sure you have friended the Onion.

    This made me LOL!

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/rep...o-peopl,29610/
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

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    No I had to send all the suits back. Sucks paying shipping both ways when I'm so used to amazon! I'm just waiting for junonia to come out with the spring 2013 collection as I loved my old suit from them. Good quality and held up in chlorine. I know me and once it starts snowing, I'm not going to be in a hurry to drive around in the dark to the pool and come out half wet anyway.

    Sorry for all the bedtime issues. Definitely easy having a dog there....just tell her to go nite nite and in the kennel she goes. As a baby she used to wake me up a lot at night to potty but now sleeps from 11-7 pretty well....and longer if I don't have the alarm going off. Course you all's babies are at least not eating poop....what a nasty phase. Thought I was over that with Molly but this week she did it again. Blech.

    I sort of believe in astrology. I'm a Virgo who's pretty virgo-like. Seems like most people I know fit into their signs fairly well. Except my DH who was born on the cusp and exhibits characteristics of both.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Ugh. I don't know why it is so easy to let folks who don't matter get under our skin, but it seems to be an issue for a loooooot of people so maybe it is just human nature. I struggle with it, and even when I do cut annoying and unnecessary people out of my life, I still find it hard to let go of whatever they did that bugged me. But I tend to be a grudge holder.

    I'm so sorry Kai is still miserable and itchy, Bridget. I know scabies can become treatment resistant, but it sounds like you're seeking another diagnosis. You feel pretty sure this round wasn't scabies after all? I hope you are able to get some answers soon. You must be so very frustrated!
    D-Mama (37) D-Dada (43) and D-Baby (11/02/2011)


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    Oh and my MIL is looking at dogs. I didn't think that it would take too long....I don't blame her, I don't want to be dogless either. Looking mostly at shelters from Chicago to Milwaukee areas. Wants something smaller under 30 or even better under 25 because she will most likely end up in an apartment in a year or so. Plus being in her 60's, doesn't want a big dog that is hard to pick up. But nothing as small as a yorkie or other toy. Not something super high energy. No pugs are super smooshy faces. at least 9 months old but not older than 4 years old. Nothing special needs. Has to be ok with other dogs and kids (since I will be having her grandkid at some point). No super high grooming needs like a maltese.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Mini dachshund was my first thought, besides that they tend to be barkers. But look at this adorable dachshund/basset mix! http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/24152991
    D-Mama (37) D-Dada (43) and D-Baby (11/02/2011)


  13. #35383
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    I'm typing on my phone at a hair appointment so I can't reply in depth but I can totally relate to the sleep issues. S has been sleeping in the bunkbed with R the past week by their request and one night he slept great. Better than normal. They woke up in the morning and giggled under the quilts and pretended they were train cars.

    The next night he woke up screaming and hit me when I tried to convince him to go back to sleep. I had to move him to the crib. He screamed for an hour and woke up early singing "get me ou-out get me ou-out get me out get me out" tothe tune of Frere Jacques.

    The night after that he begged again to sleep with R and he woke up at 3:30 AM and started cleaning the house. I heard little footsteps and caught him putting the Roomba away. He screamed for another 45 minutes when I brought him to his crib and then fell asleep. By that time I had to get up for work in 15 minutes. I've been not very happy with him and his midnight marauding and caterwauling. This is WITH melatonin, a pedi dose per his MDs approval.

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    It's not just because of the bunkbed. He screams half the night in the crib too. This way though he doesn't scream at bedtime, because he's happy to be with his siblings in the big bed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dana_renay View Post
    Mini dachshund was my first thought, besides that they tend to be barkers. But look at this adorable dachshund/basset mix! http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/24152991

    She LOVES bassetts (they don't do it for me) but not the size of them. I sent the link. Full doxies are a no go. Though I have to say that my parents one dog is a doxie/chiahuhua mix...neither are breeds anyone in my family likes. But everyone LOVES Chewie. He was found on the street last Nov and after trying to find his family, he ended up staying with my parents.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    I have known several doxies and always found them to be loyal, loving and playful. But I know so much is individual preference, and of course, the individual dogs. I'm no fan of chihuahuas in general, but I have met a few I ended up liking in spite of myself.
    D-Mama (37) D-Dada (43) and D-Baby (11/02/2011)


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    I can't seem to keep up with you guys any more in this thread!

    Myles, your poo story made me laugh. That sounds like something I would do.

    A boy in Travis' class pooed in his pants this week according to Travis. He said he had to go home because he was so upset. So, I told him that sometimes happens and to just forget about it (I could see the wheels turning in his head as he was curious as to why it had happened; they are all 4 or 5 in T's class). Any how, the very next day on the way home, I was chatting with Travis about school and he said, "I talked to Mrs. H. today." So, I was all, "that's good; what did you say to her?" He replied, "I asked her why Oliver pooed in his pants." Cue me slapping my forehead while asking him what her reply was. "She said, 'I don't know.'" I've told him that it just happens some times and to stop discussing it because it would make Oliver feel bad if her heard him talking about it.

    Bed time is currently quite a calm time in our house.....we have other issues, though! Just see my thread in NM/MIG!!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    The night after that he begged again to sleep with R and he woke up at 3:30 AM and started cleaning the house. I heard little footsteps and caught him putting the Roomba away.
    I'm sorry. I giggled. I'm sure it's beyond frustrating, but this is a cute little story.

    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    Bed time is currently quite a calm time in our house.....we have other issues, though! Just see my thread in NM/MIG!!!!
    ssshhhh!!! Ash, I'm trying to convince them there are no more issues after this one bad phase their wee ones are currently in!

    I really shouldn't poke fun. I can't get Conner to go to sleep at my apartment even though he'll go to bed with Daddy and sleep early (without fight!) with him. I can't battle with him about it either since I have downstairs neighbors and they too have kids that need to sleep. So I do let Conner stay up watching his shows and he sleeps on my couch. It's just easier on everyone...and so far, he hasn't fought me about waking in the morning and he doesn't get overly grumpy at school. Sometimes he does in the early evening though.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    The next night he woke up screaming and hit me when I tried to convince him to go back to sleep. I had to move him to the crib. He screamed for an hour and woke up early singing "get me ou-out get me ou-out get me out get me out" tothe tune of Frere Jacques.
    Sorry for giggling. Yeah, what Chrissy said. Cute!

    I used to have a Frere Jacques song for Bodhi when he was an itty bitty and had pooped his pants...

    Are you stinky?
    Are you stinky?
    Poopy boy?
    Poopy boy?
    Mommy's gonna wipe ya
    Rinse and scrub the dipe-a
    Now you're clean.
    Now you're clean.


    I totally forgot about that until now.

    Bridget, sorry about Kai's persistent rash woes. Would that you could just curse all the annoying people on FB with that rash so they could draw it all away from him

  20. #35390

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    Haha! I wish Myles! It's not even just the rash anymore. When I push on his tummy he says, "Ow!" and he's been complaining a lot more about it. He is also peeing an insane amount. Today the school called because he had 2 accidents and no more clothes. Also that his teacher wanted to speak to me. So I drove to the school and changed Kai while asking him what was up. He said he didn't want to ask to go again because he didn't want to get in trouble. I asked him why he thinks he'd get in trouble and he said it's hard to explain but he can tell it makes his teacher mad. So she basically told me she knew from his intake form that he was a frequent peeing guy but was not prepared for the 10-12 times a day that he goes. And I get it. It is really hard to believe that he has to go again 7 minutes after he just went but he really does have to go. I used to almost always be able to think back about something questionably gluten-y that he ate when I noticed him peeing a lot but lately it's not clicking for me. I thought when we cut out the gluten it seemed like he stopped needing to go constantly like that but now he's back to it. She's concerned about how he will ever be able to make it through a field trip. I told the teacher he was worried that he was annoying her and that he's pretty tuned in so he can tell if he's being annoying. She seemed a little taken aback by that and said she felt bad that he felt that way.


    What is wrong with him you guys????
    Last edited by Bridget; 09-19-2012 at 03:26 PM.

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    Bridget, let me try calling my cousin to see if she has any ideas. She is kind of a loon, but a pediatrician, and currently teaching at a university hospital, so it is possible that she knows her stuff. What shall I tell her, besides about his spreading rash, stomach ache, needing to pee frequently, slow growth and possible gluten intolerence? What meds have you tried for the rash that have not worked? Feel free to PM me. I'm guessing that more information would be better.

  22. #35392

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    I can't speculate what's wrong with him, but is there any way the teacher can give Kai a "pass" from having to ask every single time he has to go to the bathroom? The teacher's seen for herself that he's a frequent "go-er". It must get disruptive for her, and Kai seems to have started to self conscious about having to ask. As long as he comes back quickly, that sounds like the better way to go.

    I'm starting to bend over with cramps. It's my time (or will be tomorrow, I predict). I get cramps in my back, not my front. Is anyone else the same way?

    Suja, I clicked your link to MFP the other day and am trying to wrap my head around IPOARM. Are you following that plan now? I just created an account over there and am starting to read up about it. As I think I've let on before, I like trying out new nutrition/fitness plans just to entertain myself. So just a heads up, I may have some questions for you down the line, if that's ok. Out the gate, I'm wondering if you have to regularly measure your body fat content, and if you use calipers for it vs some other tool?

    Also, Suja, do you have a recipe for saag paneer? That stuff is my flavorite whenever I order Indian food. Please add that (or a similar greens recipe if you know of one) to your feast thread if you would indulge my request.
    Last edited by demigraf; 09-19-2012 at 04:03 PM.

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    Bridget, I think I'd be demanding that his primary dr refer him to a specialist. I'm sorry. I have no ideas but I'm very concerned as well.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    I just did a quick urine test strip for S. yesterday for glucose because he has been drinking like crazy (and yelling at me when I tell him he just drank 3 sippy cups in a row) and peeing like crazy. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of diabetes yet, with all of his insatiable drinking, but yesterday was the first time he became enraged at me because I told him to hold off on his water. It was negative, but Bridget, if you haven't had any tests for diabetes for Kai, frequent peeing and slow weight gain, tiredness, and some of the other stuff might fit. Also, with everything that's going on you might want to make a full appointment and consider having some bloodwork done. A lot of those symptoms could be a lot of different things, and I know how scary and frustrating it is to feel like something's going on and nobody knows.


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    Bridget, I'm sorry Kai's not better! I hope you get some answers soon!

    I agree with the "this too shall pass" mantra but I do believe another difficult stage is always just around the bend. I don't think people say teenagers are harder than little kids for nothing. LOL
    Maybe this is a defeatist point of view but I guess I got tired of hoping he'd just be difficulty free after a while. If I always believe there's another big issue coming up, maybe someday I'll be pleasantly surprised!

    I've been mulling something over all day. One of you said if you're arguing with your child you're doing it wrong. Well then I guess we're doing it very wrong! What are some ways you guys get around fighting? (remember this is with an almost 6 year old, not a more easily persuaded baby or toddler LOL)

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    That's really tough Kate, especially since the pattern has already been established. So even if you could get dh to agree to another approach, Josh is still going to be argumentative because that's what he's used to. I do know that you both would have to be on the same page, consistency is key (rinse & repeat!), and that the older he gets the harder it will be to change. I'm sure you don't want to argue with a teenager. I think it would take someone with more knowledge than I to really advice on that one. Kids emulate what they see though, so it starts with the parents.

    We all go through phases in life and it doesn't stop till we die. Not all of them are bad. I know girls go through a 'want to help' phase at just pre-adolescence (about 10). That's a wonderful phase and all 3 of mine hit it. They volunteered to clean and offered help constantly. I can't remember from my human development class if that's true with boys or not. I remembered that one in particular because Bobbie & Jesi were at that point when I took the class, and then I witnessed Syd go through it as well. With Jesi, it stuck. Even though she's developed quite the attitude (whereas her older sister did on a lesser scale), she's still always willing to help out. She's the one getting Conner up and on the bus in the morning, feeding him breakfast and helping him dress. Syd's helpful phase was very short lived.

    I know there are others but I'm drawing a blank. It seems the negative ones really stand out and are more memorable, but rest assured it's not constantly one bad phase after another. To be sure, parenting isn't for wimps. It's tough and I think all good mamas question themselves constantly.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Oh, I didn't mean they were all bad phases! I just mean that another issue would pop up after the big one is over. Like, right now our issue is still bedtime. Once that is over it'll be a huge relief to not end the day with a struggle, but something else will come up.

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    It doesn't even stop when they're an adult. Bobbie is 19 and she hit her 2nd deer this morning. She's been licensed less than a year and she's hit 2 deer and caused one fender bender in a store parking lot. I worry incessantly about her driving. It's harder for me because she's convinced she's a great driver...but I've riden with her. She's not.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Kate, I remember reading in a book on child development that the late elementary school years - around 8-10 or 11 - are considered a really fabulous life stage. They're past the toddler/preschooler/early childhood stuff where they're asserting their independence and figuring out they have their own identities, their brains are growing to the point they can have really complex and interesting thoughts, and the hormones of adolescence haven't hit yet so they aren't constantly obsessed with boys/girls/whatever. I have found it to be true, working with kids from preschool to middle school age. I really have a special place in my heart for 5th graders because they are so adult like and you can have really fabulous conversations about science and politics and all kinds of things but at the same time they have that childlike sweetness that is completely gone in another year or two. So you can look forward to a couple of years of that when Josh is a little older. In my book they called it "the calm before the storm." LOL! That's just the stage you saw with your girls, Chrissy. I don't think you get that peacefulness back until at least your 30's, in my experience. Maybe not until retirement age for some people!

    I am so.fed.up with DH right now I could scream. He's spending all his time worrying about a test for this class he is taking, leaving the dog unsupervised in the gated off family room with food and water freely available, and two days in a row I've come home to a huge pile of poop or puddle of pee. We AGREED to crate the dog if he wasn't supervised, and now he's saying he doesn't think it's right to crate him while he's home but refuses to watch him. So housetraining is completely out the window and I'm not even home to deal with it. I am so angry I could spit right now. And he had the nerve to get upset with me because I - get this - hung up the towel I used when washing the dog on his towel rack. Never mind the fact that I a) washed the dog, and b) hung up the towel. Don't see him doing either of those things.

    Poor puppy, I'm taking my frustration with DH out on him and I know that's not fair. I'm at my limit with DH, though.

    Thanks for the birthday wishes, girls.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Kate, I remember reading in a book on child development that the late elementary school years - around 8-10 or 11 - are considered a really fabulous life stage. They're past the toddler/preschooler/early childhood stuff where they're asserting their independence and figuring out they have their own identities, their brains are growing to the point they can have really complex and interesting thoughts, and the hormones of adolescence haven't hit yet so they aren't constantly obsessed with boys/girls/whatever. I have found it to be true, working with kids from preschool to middle school age. I really have a special place in my heart for 5th graders because they are so adult like and you can have really fabulous conversations about science and politics and all kinds of things but at the same time they have that childlike sweetness that is completely gone in another year or two. So you can look forward to a couple of years of that when Josh is a little older. In my book they called it "the calm before the storm." LOL! That's just the stage you saw with your girls, Chrissy. I don't think you get that peacefulness back until at least your 30's, in my experience. Maybe not until retirement age for some people!

    I am so.fed.up with DH right now I could scream. He's spending all his time worrying about a test for this class he is taking, leaving the dog unsupervised in the gated off family room with food and water freely available, and two days in a row I've come home to a huge pile of poop or puddle of pee. We AGREED to crate the dog if he wasn't supervised, and now he's saying he doesn't think it's right to crate him while he's home but refuses to watch him. So housetraining is completely out the window and I'm not even home to deal with it. I am so angry I could spit right now. And he had the nerve to get upset with me because I - get this - hung up the towel I used when washing the dog on his towel rack. Never mind the fact that I a) washed the dog, and b) hung up the towel. Don't see him doing either of those things.

    Poor puppy, I'm taking my frustration with DH out on him and I know that's not fair. I'm at my limit with DH, though.

    Thanks for the birthday wishes, girls.
    Ah yes, I remember all that too. Sweet times! The good news, Kate, is that I've also heard rumors that boys aren't quite as challenging as girls in their teen years. They do exhibit risk taking behaviors, but they're not into the drama as much. In fact, most the teenage boys I've come in contact with seem really annoyed at the antics of the girls they associate with.

    Mandy, I'm so sorry. It's really unfair of your dh to do that. If he's not going to crate her, then he needs to watch her. That should be the end of discussion. I know it's not that easy. I'd be annoyed too. Beyond annoyed.

    Syd's post cracked me up:

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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