I just knew I would. I didn't know how...but the 'finding the man' part didn't bother me. Well, not beyond when I'd meet him. Even though we're separated now, I have no regrets about the 19 years I spent with Rich. I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have children with.
But speaking of the children...I'm really struggling with some things. I told y'all about Conner's temper tantrums. I do think it's a combination of him being over tired and his age and I think he'll outgrow it. But the other issue I have is Syd's reaction to him when he starts 'going there'. Sometimes he gives signs that he's starting to be in a fowl mood. With some gentle handling, I can sometimes keep him pretty happy and calm. But Syd gets short of patience and she'll say/do things that aggravate him. Tonight I had to put in some effort to appease/calm him and we were sitting on the couch all quiet and happy and she walked by and said, "You're such a spoiled brat Conner." Then he threw his dish of ice cream and started crying. I got him calmed down from that, and asked her to go to her room or outside if she couldn't tolerate him. Of course when I said 'outside' he wanted to go to and instead of suggesting something they could do out there, or going for a walk with Mom, she snapped really harsh at him, "NO! You're NOT coming outside! I'm going out there to GET AWAY FROM YOU!" So then his whole dinner went flying and he started the kicking/screaming/total melt-down that he had the other night.
I'm not saying it's always her fault. Heck, I don't think his attitude started tonight because of her at all. But she doesn't help when she gets like that and in fact it exacerbates it. I cannot get him calmed down if she's throwing out those little verbal digs at him while he's already feeling sad/tired/upset. She got really upset with me and screamed at me because I told her she needed to go home to dad. She sent me a message on Facebook telling me she hopes I'm never happy and she doesn't ever want to see me again and that I acted like a 2 year old. I'm ignoring that statement and just replied that I was only trying to calm Conner down and that her attitude wasn't helping and i was sorry if her feelings were hurt.
I'm at a loss as to what to do about this because she will not stop if I ask her to. She will continue saying stuff to get him upset if she's in that sort of mood. It's overwhelming to me.