Secular Confessions

[Gwenn]

Mandy I am so angry for you at the pharmacy!! A similar situation happened to me when I was PG with Elle, except I didn't take the pills, due to being extra cautious due to pregnancy. The pharm tech even tried to argue with me that the pills were the right ones. I had bad heartburn and just needed an Rx strength generic pepcid. They gave me pills that I found out were for heart patients, I can't remember the name. When I am PG I am generally unhappy (I have tough PGs with hyperemesis and pubic synopsis disorder so I am always sick and in pain while PG) so I was VERY attitude prone. I always joke I get stereotypical when I'm PG, hope no one takes offense but it is a joke I have because I get very b!tchy when I PG and wouldn't care if people stereotyped me as a bad attitude having crazy black women LOL because I am when PG. So I went bat sh!t crazy on the pharmacy tech and the pharmacist came and verified that he did indeed give me the wrong pills and apologized after I was ranting about suing them and how they could have killed my baby. I wish PG me could be there with you to give those pharmacy screw ups a piece of my mind.

OMG Erin, I love you! I definitely wish I had crazy pregnant Erin with me at the pharmacy today!

I am feeling groggy/hung over now, and I've been dealing with the doctor/pharmacy stuff since I got up so I'm just getting on here now. Interestingly enough, it relaxed me but it isn't a sleeping drug and because my mind was racing like crazy, I didn't really sleep. Just laid there like a slug with my mind going on and on about how annoyed I was. So I slept like crap and now I'm dealing with left-over grogginess.

Called the doctor's office first thing, and the office manager said just to take the Clomid tonight, days 4-8. I actually think it will work out okay. I tend to O later, and they doctor wanted me in for my ultrasound on day 15, which is a Sunday, so when I scheduled it a few days ago she asked me to come in Friday (day 13). When I did that before, it was too early, and I was out an extra $100 for an unnecessary appointment, plus having to go back again on Monday (and take time off from work for all of it). So I convinced her to make the appointment on Monday, day 16. So actually, taking the Clomid a day later may be a good thing - but I know my body responds the way it's supposed to when I take it day 3-7. I've never tried it any other day. For some reason, doctors always say either 3-7 or 5-9, but never 4-8. Anyway, we'll give it a shot.

I also told her I specifically wanted her to ask the doctor if there was a risk to trying the treatment with the Clomazepam in my body right now. She did go and ask him, and he said it was okay, but he specifically said to make a complaint with my state's Board of Pharmacy. DH and I took pictures of everything and scanned all the labels into my computer, and I filed the complaint this afternoon. So I have a ton of evidence that at least I have the Clomazepam in my possession. They'll likely just get a letter from the Pharmacy Board, but it said if there is a pattern of incompetence they will call a hearing.

I also called the Pharmacy and told them what happened, and asked them to fill my Clomid prescription properly so I could pick it up when I came in. The woman didn't believe me and wanted to know how I knew they gave me Clomazepam (because it was PRINTED on the LABEL, you idiot!) and refused to fill it until I proved they'd filled it wrong, even if that meant me sitting in the pharmacy for an hour waiting for them to correct their error. When I got down there (much later, because I'd spent an hour or so photographing and scanning it all) she had told the pharmacist about it and got him to come out and deal with it. He did prepare my prescription in advance, and just said, "I'm sorry. It's a good thing you didn't take any." I pointed out that I DID take some (which I told the woman in the phone call) and he asked if I experienced any drowsiness. Yes, I did. "Oh. I'm sorry. Here's your prescription."

Seriously? That's all? Not, here's a coupon for your inconvenience, or anything? I am so ticked off. So I came right home and filled out the Pharmacy Board complaint. I think I am also going to complain to CVS, but I'm not sure whether I should ask for the manager of the local store, or if I should contact their corporate headquarters. I'm just infuriated by it all.

Erin, on a totally unrelated note, your post combined with all the scholarship talk for some reason reminded me of a guy DH knew in the army who was a white South African. He came to the US and apparent got a scholarship for African immigrants to pay for his college education. The way DH told it was very funny, but I guess the people who awarded him the scholarship were really angry when they found out he was white.

[girlwonder]

My brother's friend is married to a white South African woman and they have two kids. They are filthy rich, as in the last party I had that they were invited to (which is the last party they will EVER be invited to at my house because they were rude to me and their kids were rude to JoJo) the snotty wife was talking about how much she hated commercial flights and would never fly commercial again, only chartered and private planes. Anyway, this little witch thinks it is hysterical because she gets her daughters a bunch of scholarships that are for African immigrants and they don't have to pay anything for their very expensive private school education. Snot.

[Gwenn]

She does sound like a snot. Yuck. Actually I went to grad school with a white South African girl and she was very sweet and lovely. I didn't ask how she was financing her education, though!

[girlwonder]

Oh, and I hope that it isn't too much of a hassle for you dealing with reporting that pharmacy. They should have been much more apologetic. I believe I would write a letter to the general manager of the CVS and cc his boss. If you don't get an adequate response, then I would write another letter to the regional pharmacy guy if you can find out his name, and cc the boss of the general manager. I would let them know not only that you go the wrong prescription, but also how awful the woman was on the phone calling you a liar and the lukewarm apology from the pharmacy manager and how best you think the situation might be remedied.

My dh is so good at this kind of thing - it is pretty amazing. I told you all about the awful dinner at the Hyatt out here last year, right? Our complaint email got the food and bev. manager moved to a less challenging resort, the head chef fired/moved on, and a two night stay in a suite with free food and extra cash for spending not just for us but also for his parents. The only bad part of that was the free dinner at the same restaurant that was so disastrous last year. That was super awkward, but at least the food was okay. DH hits just the right tone somehow.

[missychrissy]

Myles, I'd HIGHLY recommend a Dell Latitude. They're just far superior to the Inspiron models. If you could see them side by side, you'd recognize it. Even if you never had any computer experience, you can see the Latitude's are built with better materials.

Right now you can get a Latitude E5520 for a base price of $499. Add it to the cart & see how much it would come to getting a minimum 4 gb ram. I'm not sure what you were looking for in HD space either. For what you described you'd be using it for, I think their base processor would suffice, but if you can afford it of course I'd recommend bumping that up as well.

Any of the Latitude E-series would be good, but my preference is E6500 (or higher). E6400 is good as well. The E5520 will be decent, especially for your light use, but that would be as low as I'd go.

[missychrissy]

Myles, I'd HIGHLY recommend a Dell Latitude. They're just far superior to the Inspiron models. If you could see them side by side, you'd recognize it. Even if you never had any computer experience, you can see the Latitude's are built with better materials.

Right now you can get a Latitude E5520 for a base price of $499. Add it to the cart & see how much it would come to getting a minimum 4 gb ram. I'm not sure what you were looking for in HD space either. For what you described you'd be using it for, I think their base processor would suffice, but if you can afford it of course I'd recommend bumping that up as well.

Any of the Latitude E-series would be good, but my preference is E6500 (or higher). E6400 is good as well. The E5520 will be decent, especially for your light use, but that would be as low as I'd go.

I did the quote and bumped up the HD to 320 gb and 4 gb of ram and it's $607. It's $587 with a 250 gb HD.

It's really a good deal. This is a sale price.

[demigraf]

Well that is super disappointing that they weren't more concerned, Mandy, and it's even worse that they tried to question your honesty. I'm not surprised that the pharmacist wasn't dripping with apologies. S/he was probably pooping him/herself in fear that you'd report them or take action against them. I hope their gaffe results in timing your Clomid just right for this month.

Chrissy, thanks. I will look at the Latitudes. My franken-puter is a Latitude 610. I can't install Win7 on it, though. It's a 32-bit CPU, and my Win 7 OS disc is for 64-bit. Well, at least I did 2 hrs worth of backup again.

Katy, just doesn't seem right that they should collect on those scholarships.

[missychrissy]

That was a crappy attitude for them to take Mandy. Oops, sorry! Like they accidentally bumped you with a cart or something.

Ooo Myles, if I'd had known you had a D610, I would have discouraged you from attempting Win7 on that anyway. Linux would work great though.

[Suja]

My personal experience has perhaps colored my views on scholarships. I got a partial scholarship to a good university in NY. Couldn't cover the other 10s of thousands, and don't believe in taking on unnecessary debt, so ended up going through the city university system. Not bad, just different. IME, if you're not able to apply for a gazillion scholarships (which I couldn't because I was new to the country and behind the ball), it's hard to get enough to cover all expenses - tuition, fees, books, room and board. Partial scholarships that fund around 50% would be much easier.

While I would be okay with Mira taking on a vocation that could pay well enough to support her, it would be a definite step backwards. She would be the first kid on either side of the family to not go to college in 2 generations. At a minimum, everyone has a college degree, and a significant number have higher ones. And I think, especially with globalization, that not having a college education would be a serious handicap.

As for saving for retirement before college, I agree. Of course, good retirement homes are about as expensive as a decent college, so there is that to add to the list. Culturally, Mira would be expected to take care of us in our old age, but we're under no illusion that would happen. If it does, that's a bonus.

Mandy, I'm glad you filed a formal complaint. The pharmcist did not even sound contrite.

[missychrissy]

I think times are changing so much that we can't really predict what college/work ratio will be when our young ones become adults. Just because things always were one way doesn't mean they'll remain. Personally, I'd like to see more 'trades' offered in high school and beyond. We'll always need our own electricians, plumbers, construction workers, etc. and they're good paying jobs. We need them, some people actually enjoy that type of work, and as long as we protect unions they're excellent paying jobs. Maybe not at first, but after 5 years...which is just about the same amount of time it takes someone to get a bachelors. Plus, they learn on the job and don't accumulate any debt.

I easily could have done my previous job without any college education. There's no reason why anyone can't learn those skills on the job. There are plenty more like that.

[Gwenn]

I think times are changing so much that we can't really predict what college/work ratio will be when our young ones become adults. Just because things always were one way doesn't mean they'll remain. Personally, I'd like to see more 'trades' offered in high school and beyond. We'll always need our own electricians, plumbers, construction workers, etc. and they're good paying jobs. We need them, some people actually enjoy that type of work, and as long as we protect unions they're excellent paying jobs. Maybe not at first, but after 5 years...which is just about the same amount of time it takes someone to get a bachelors. Plus, they learn on the job and don't accumulate any debt.

I easily could have done my previous job without any college education. There's no reason why anyone can't learn those skills on the job. There are plenty more like that.

I agree with this. There will always be individuals in society who are not college material, either through interest or through aptitude. And there will always, as Chrissy says, be a need for plumbers, mechanics, etc. I do wish we had more opportunities for training and preparation for people whose inclinations lie in that direction. Even if it were possible for 100% of our children to be college educated, we'd still need someone to fill those jobs. I will encourage my child to attend college, but I agree that if my kid wants, for example, to be a ballet dancer, I'd rather she go be a ballet dancer rather than add up tons of debt for a college education that will prepare her to do something she could well have done without that education. I look at education as an investment that will provide access to a type of work. If it becomes something else, it loses its value.

[Bridget]

I think times are changing so much that we can't really predict what college/work ratio will be when our young ones become adults. Just because things always were one way doesn't mean they'll remain. Personally, I'd like to see more 'trades' offered in high school and beyond. We'll always need our own electricians, plumbers, construction workers, etc. and they're good paying jobs. We need them, some people actually enjoy that type of work, and as long as we protect unions they're excellent paying jobs. Maybe not at first, but after 5 years...which is just about the same amount of time it takes someone to get a bachelors. Plus, they learn on the job and don't accumulate any debt.

I easily could have done my previous job without any college education. There's no reason why anyone can't learn those skills on the job. There are plenty more like that.

Absolutely.

[missychrissy]

I'm drawing a blank, but it's not just skilled trades that are typically thought 'blue collar' that a trade-like school/high school classes could fulfill. Definitely computer support and probably even basic programming. Actually, there was a study done that proved learning to program is best done at around age 8 because it's like learning another language and children are more receptive to that than adults (or even teens) are. If we taught computer language in elementary school, we could be more competitive technologically with the world. I'm sure it's true with green power engineering and the like as well.

[Gwenn]

I'm sure that's true.

[missychrissy]

I know it was true for me. I play around with computers a lot when I was a kid. I'm confident I learned command line stuff from 8-12 easier than I could ever learn in my adult life-time. I try not to have regrets in life, but one thing that I do wonder about is if I didn't get so disgusted with Windows 3.1 and decide to quit computer altogether how different my financial life would have been. I didn't realize at the time how unique it was to be a girl with the coding knowledge I had-and it was self taught by just reading books and practicing programs myself by trial and error till they worked.

Now I look at Java scripts or C++ and it's familiar...like hearing someone speak a slightly familiar language and I do understand the gist of it, but to write it out myself...meh. It would take a lot of work for me. Back then it felt instinctive.

I guess a part of me missed the tech boom of the 90's. I could have been in on it, but lacked the confidence. I blame the guidance counselor that said scornfully, "You have to be good at math to work in computers!"

Um, no you don't. The computers computes. You plug in the equation. I can do that.

[Gwenn]

My dad bought a personal computer in 1983, when I was 10. I used to play around with BASIC programming and I made simple little programs. In high school, I took a programming class and I was always the first person to have my assignment done and would spend my free time creating programs to amuse my friends. I loved it, but I never did anything beyond that. I probably could have done great in the tech boom, too...I was the perfect age...but that just wasn't where my inclination lay for work. I wouldn't trade that for what I do now. But I don't know that I could just walk in and pick up Java or C++ at this age if I decided to go for it, either.

On the language subject, it's funny. I took four years of Spanish in high school and I reached a point where I was very good, but I felt I reached a point where my weaknesses were starting to show. I could read and write well, and formulate a sentence well orally, but if someone asked me a question I needed what I felt was excessive time processing what they said and formulating a response. I actually feel the same way in English but because it's my native language it's not so pronounced and I've had a lifetime experience compensating for that. But in Spanish, it showed up. In college, I chose not to pursue Spanish further, so I took French, and Russian, and Navajo instead (partly for my foreign language requirement, and partly for my linguistics minor). Note to anyone who may care: never take two completely unrelated languages at the same time. It WILL mess you up horribly. My French professor wanted me to major in French and get a business degree, but as I told her, I just didn't want a career in business. Then a couple of years later I went to France, and spent weeks practicing and studying French before I went. Standing in the airport in Paris right after getting off the plane, I realized I was having trouble understanding the French announcements over the intercom, but the family behind us in line was speaking Spanish and I understood every word they said. So frustrating! But by the end of the trip I could speak it pretty well - if my mother asked someone something in French, they would answer her in English, but the same person would answer me in French.

But my big problem is I can't generate a sentence in Spanish anymore. I went to Nogales a couple of years ago, and I kept coming up with words that weren't either Spanish or French - "lo" when I meant to say "el," for example. My bilingual friends laugh at me for having Romance Language confusion. Still, I hear them speak Spanish at work and can generally understand the underlying point of what they are saying, even though I don't know every word. I'm not sure how much of that is underlying knowledge of the language, and how much is my professional experience in trying to understand children with communication disorders, and picking up on their emphasis and their emotion and their gestures. Either way, it's really interesting to me to observe them.

Sorry - no idea where that came from. But it interests me!

[raspberry]

If I could talk to my 18 year old self I would say stay in college!! When I was a freshman I thought I wanted to be a kindy teacher. When I had a visit to a school I decided it wasn't for me. I was so unsure what I wanted. Dumb me thought, well not going to be a teacher no need to continue college. My parents didn't push me either. They just wanted me to be happy and try my hardest. I so didn't try my hardest. I really needed guidance on career choices or college major choices. I just stayed our family business because it was easy. And when I think about how I wasted my money in my 20's. Well I guess wasted is not the right answer, but I certainly didn't take saving money very seriously. I had a lot of fun in my 20's.

I would love to be able to help Gilly with college, but we won't paying for the entire 4 years. We need to fund our retirement account first! We are way behind, especially when I remember we are 41 and 48.

[Cosmosmom]

It's interesting how much our experiences and culture shape us. Suja, my bff's DH is Indian and his family sounds a lot like yours. He's actually the black sheep being that he "only" has an MBA....the rest of the family are all doctors or lawyers. Such an emphasis is placed on career and education and which schools you go to. And the idea of taking care of the parents is so different. When his come to the US, he's willing to go into to debt if need be paying their way for everything...even travel in the US so that is like 6 plane tickets or expensive meals out. And I'm like, but they are neurosurgeons and well off.....and you guys are just starting out and ok off but not rich by any means.


And than you have my family and my DH's family....and were both literally the first people ever on either side to get a college degree. And things like who has what degree and what to what school....really aren't a big deal to me.
I love learning and I absolutely loved going to college. If I had the money I would probably take classes for fun. But in some ways I'm kind of hoping that my kid wants to be a plumber or mechanic or something like that. Such a useful skill and something that cannot be outsourced. Though if I get a child and he wants to be professor, I'm totally cool with that as well.

[raspberry]

Chrissy I am so with you on the guidance counselor. My high school math teacher made me feel worthless because I suck at math. I really didn't think I was smart enough to do anything.

[raspberry]

Not sure if they still do this, but my dh has talked about in England at about age 10 schools guide the child based on their interests and academia record to a chosen career. You are either college material or you are not. My dh has dyslexia, so he always felt that college wasn't in the cards for him. He actually went to agriculture college in the UK. He was growing organics back in the day before anyone else was. Then as a young 20 something he went back to college for a degree in marine science. Just because he wanted to scuba dive and move out of England. Ha!

I got side tracked but I wish more schools/counselors would help students with careers choices.

[missychrissy]

Chrissy I am so with you on the guidance counselor. My high school math teacher made me feel worthless because I suck at math. I really didn't think I was smart enough to do anything.

You'd think guidance counselors would know better.

Mandy, that's how reading a program is for me. I can understand the gist of it, but to 'articulate' it myself...not so much. I am curious though if I could pick it back up. The study did indicate that adults that returned to programming language (any, because they are so similar) do fair better than other adults that never took any programming at all.

Interestingly (to me) one of my coworkers approached us today to see if any of us IT people could tutor her for $ in C++ because she's struggling so hard. Unfortunately, it wasn't a required class for my degree (although VBS was), so I couldn't help her. Brandon (my coworker) took it but he's leaving for paternity leave at the end of next week. No one else knows it well enough. She says she's near tears because she needs a C in it to get her degree. The semester is over 1/2 way through, she's failing and cannot 'get it' It's an online class and the teacher isn't a good one (I had her myself, and can vouch for that) and there aren't any tutors for that class available through the school.

If I had known, I would have been interested in taking the class with her. I think I could have muddled through and perhaps had been some help to her. What's really ironic is that she's going for a technical business degree and it's a required course for her. I graduated in Dec. '07 and it wasn't a required course for my computer degree. Doesn't really make much sense to me.

[missychrissy]

Not sure if they still do this, but my dh has talked about in England at about age 10 schools guide the child based on their interests and academia record to a chosen career. You are either college material or you are not. My dh has dyslexia, so he always felt that college wasn't in the cards for him. He actually went to agriculture college in the UK. He was growing organics back in the day before anyone else was. Then as a young 20 something he went back to college for a degree in marine science. Just because he wanted to scuba dive and move out of England. Ha!

I got side tracked but I wish more schools/counselors would help students with careers choices.

On one hand I like the concept of that--helping kids decide what they want to be when they grow up and educating them in that regard. In another, I'd worry that they'd lean toward keeping blue collar kids in blue collar jobs. I'm not saying England did that, but I could see it happening in the US.

The only thing I knew for sure that I wanted to be when I grew up was a mommy. Even though I loved loved loved computers and making them work, I didn't consider working in them professionally. I'm not sure why. Even when I returned to college at 29, I initially started with the intention of being a Chemical and Substance Abuse Counselor. I did that for a year and then switched to my computer program. It took me 3 years to get a 2 year degree but it was the smartest decision I ever made. I make more than people with a masters in social work do, and I only have about 25,000 in student loan debt.

[raspberry]

Chrissy what is your degree?

[raspberry]

All I ever wanted to be was a mommy too. My earliest memories are playing house with my dolls. It took me 37 years to get my baby boy in my arms.

[Suja]

I definitely think it's cultural. Growing up, it was our job to go to school, study, and get good grades. I kind of feel that should be the way with my kid as well. I know that our families are doing as well as they are, almost entirely due to our education.

While we were having our basement finished, we worked with a lot of independent contractors. Well established and well regarded in their field, and they all agreed that in their line of work, in order to do well, one must go into business for oneself, and that requires a certain level of competence/expertise, and a lot of time spent learning the trade, establishing a reputation and a client base. Funny enough that they all insisted on their kids going to college because the path they had chosen was difficult and had too many ups and downs.

[missychrissy]

Chrissy what is your degree?

Computer Support Specialist Major, Computer Information Systems Minor. I could have probably taken C++ & gotten a dual degree Ah well. I'm doing very well & don't regret it. I only wish I had thought to do it 10 years earlier.

[Suja]

I'm the odd one out, I guess. Having kids was never on my radar.

[raspberry]

Computer Support Specialist Major, Computer Information Systems Minor. I could have probably taken C++ & gotten a dual degree Ah well. I'm doing very well & don't regret it. I only wish I had thought to do it 10 years earlier.

is that a BA or AA?

[missychrissy]

Just an AA

[Bridget]

I hardly ever thought about my future. I just couldn't "see" it. I knew I'd be a mommy but never had dreams of finding the right man so sort of wondered exactly how I'd make it happen.