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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #33331
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    Yeah i would look and see what the ingredients are. There are a lot of dog food options. So if was say fish based, I would try another fish based one. Dog food is so weird. Like DH and I both think that ToW smells icky. Not rotten but not good to us. But the girls like it. A lot. I stuff it in a toy and they go after it like it's a treat. But not so much that if I put it out and they aren't hungry, it sits. Which is good as I don't want Cosmo overeating.
    I did offer them some Blue at my parents house as they just switched to that. My girls didn't want anything to do with it. Parents dogs wanted the ToW though. I have thought about trying a different flavor on them....there is a bison/vension one, a fish one, the fowl one which is what we are on and maybe one more. But I just don't think that I want to mess with something that is working.

    before I switched them, I did buy a small little bag to see if they liked it or not. And spent well over a week switching it gradually.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  2. #33332
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    We have tried both Blue and Blue Wilderness. My dogs will eat the Blue, but they clearly don't like it as much as the Blue Wilderness. It's a much better food.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  3. #33333

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    I'm glad our dogs will eat anything. DH is the one hunting for new foods all the time for them. I think he has settled on Blue and won't give him any other suggestions because he will start switching them up all the time. He used to feed them a really cheap food from Kroger, the store brand and so switching to this newer one was a big jolt to the budget in my eyes and took a lot of getting used to. But I do notice that they look...more muscular I'll say, more stout and our indoor dog's coat is much shinier. Both of them will eat anything though and luckily don't have any allergies. Mr. Hyde, the house dog has eye issues and needs drops but other than that they are easy dogs.

    I had a yellow lab I loved when I was younger and he had a lot of allergies and was grain sensitive and had to eat a special food. He also had psychological issues and was on prozac for a while (my mom said it was due to trauma of seeing his brother getting hit by a car, he was never the same after that).

    Erin

  4. #33334
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    Suja, I'm not sure if it was prescription or not. Good point. Bah-this is as bad as finding the right formula for a colicky baby!!!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  5. #33335
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    Chrissy, I hope you get your doggy's food sorted out; you're right, it does sound like something like sorting out a baby's formula! Every time I think of getting a dog, I talk myself out of it when I think of the potential health issues, etc. I know that Travis would love a dog, though. And I would, too, but it would be me that would have to take care of it and I don't have the energy at the minute for something like that. I'm kind of tempted to get a hamster or a mouse or something like that for him; do any of y'all have rodent pets?

    Oh, I don't think I've mentioned to y'all about Cash. He's always been a lot slower than Travis was at talking. At 12 months, I'd have conversations with Travis and he could speak really well (I always knew he was ahead with his vocab), but Cash has always been a lot quieter and more of a babbler. I've noticed lately, though, that he's started saying more and more things so that made me happy. Then, on Friday, Travis, Cash and I were sitting on the couch watching cartoons together and Cash had repeated a word that Travis has said, so out of curiousity, I just said, "Cash, can you say ....." and went on to ask him several words and he said them all....so, he can actually pretty much say anything, but he just chooses not to say too much!

  6. #33336

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    Aw, sweet Cash. Kai was like that too. He said not a word and then when he started talking it was like full sentences!

  7. #33337
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    Just wanted to say I'm out this month. On to another IUI.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  8. #33338
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    Aw, Mandy, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm really really hoping your next IUI is it for you! (hugs)

  9. #33339
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    Ash, I've had pet mice before. They're relatively easy to take care of, but they don't have a long life expectancy. I think it was 3-5 years and all ours died in a year. I did everything by the book too. I think smaller animals are more work. All the bedding and cleaning their cages, water bottles/bowls, etc. I avoid them!

    Yay for Cash simply choosing to be quiet! I'm sure you're relieved. I think it's typical for subsequent children to be slightly less verbal than their older sibling.

    I'm sorry Mandy. I'm still really hoping this is your year.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  10. #33340
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    Well, it didn't come out in the manner in which I'd hoped, but I told Rich we're done and we're not ever getting back together today. I'd been to my dad's, who is friends with one of Rich's uncles, this morning. The uncle (Marty) happened to be visited my dad & his wife when I was there. Later, I was at Rich's for bbq and laundry and his sister was there was well. I wanted to tell Jay that her uncle Marty had mentioned he'd seen her daughter Brianna somewhere and remarked what a pretty, polite young lady she was and said Jamie should be proud of her. I had just started to say, "I saw your Uncle Marty this morning..." (looking at Jay) when Rich snapped at me, "I don't care! I don't want anything to do with my family and I don't care to hear about them." I was stunned and unfortunately I did snap at him. I can't remember what I'd said, but it wasn't to explain what I was going to say. In the end, Jesi angrily invited me to leave right now because she was sick of me jumping all over her dad every time I was over there.

    Rich & I actually don't bicker often, so I don't know where that's coming from but it's irrelevant. I did leave because it was obvious we weren't going to get along. I cannot be anywhere near someone where I have to watch what story I'm going to tell for fear of getting snapped at. Rich thinks he was in the right and actually told me in a text that he was hurt that I snapped at him. Whatever. I just kept saying I wasn't going to argue about it and we're through.

    Again, I find myself only feeling relieved. I'm sure Jesi, and possibly Syd, are going to be very upset with me for a very long time but I can't go to them and explain what I was going to say and that their dad was rude to interrupt and indeed it was him that snapped first. I just do not want them in the middle of it at all, so if they want to be mad at me I guess they're going to be mad at me.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #33341
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    I'm sorry the girls are upset with you, but what happened happened. If they want to look at it your way, they will see what he did, and if they don't, they won't and there is probably no convincing them, anyway. I'm glad you got it out of your system, at least.

    Now that it's "official," are you going to come up with a plan to see the kids on a regular basis?
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  12. #33342
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    You're right. And I'm glad too. I am now going to work hard on only talking to him about things we have to talk about, and if he snaps I'm just going to end the conversation. No more engaging, defending, or arguing.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  13. #33343
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    Good for you.

    Not sure if you saw my edit above. Are you planning to come up with a more specific plan to allow you to see the kids on a scheduled time, or are you going to stick with playing it by ear for now?
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  14. #33344
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    Oh, I didn't see your edit! Magic fingers!!

    Right this minute, I'm still going to play it by ear. Conner and Syd actually came home with me right after our tiff. Syd is staying overnight and Conner's home already. I'm willing to keep it open and flexible for now, as long as Rich still is. He may get bent at me and decide to play hardball. We'll see.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  15. #33345
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    So long as he is willing to work with you, it sounds like it is working out.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  16. #33346
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    Right while it was happening, he didn't want to let Conner go with me but when Conner spoke up and said, "I want to go to Mommy's for a little bit," Rich didn't say a word. I don't think Rich would ever 'hate' me so much he'd hurt his kids. Not on purpose anyway. And I know I wouldn't. I love my kids far too much to do that to them.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  17. #33347

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    Maybe knowing for sure that it's over will be good for Rich. I mean, maybe not right away but better than him always wondering.

    I really think some people were talking smack about me at our local pool today for nursing Sawyer. But i'm not sure if I was just being paranoid, even though I never usually care or notice if anyone cares or notices. But these two couples were very loud and just those types of people who seem like they want everyone to hear their conversation because they think they are so funny and clever. You know what I mean? There with their kids but talking about getting wasted and wishing they had a cig. and all sorts of gossip. Silly stuff. Anyway, one of the dads was across the pool. It's a pretty small pool only for kids 8 and up. I started nursing Sawyer, totally and completely covered with a towel, showing less boob than I do standing in my swimming suit. Obviously i had to stay right at the edge of the pool because my other two are still swimming around in there. Anyway, I notice the dad looking over in my direction with a funny look and then he says, "Baby!" to his wife who looks and he says something in spanish that I obviously don't understand since I don't speak spanish but then her and the other couple look over at me and I hear he whisper (because they are only a few feet from me) "totally inappropriate". Then I cannot hear anything else so I chose to decide that I'm just being silly. But then a few moments later the mom makes a big production of getting her baby a bottle and saying how she hopes she doesn't get in trouble for feeding her baby since there is no food or drink allowed in the pool area. They had been scolded by the lifegaurd a few times already for not using a swim diaper and then for changing the baby diaper on the deck. So that comment was directed toward the lifegaurd but then the other mama said, "Oh, why dont' you just use your boobie since we know that's allowed."
    After that comment I was like, "Hmmm, why are these people even paying attention to me?? Leave me alone!" lol. I was so shocked that the only time I have ever thought for a second that someone was giving me heck for nursing was at a children's pool amongst other parents. Crazy.

    But the best news of the swimming day is that Savana has officially taught herself to swim. She swam doggy paddle style about 6 feet from the wall to me today. I love it when she is proud of herself she gets the biggest widest smile you could imagine.
    Last edited by Bridget; 07-08-2012 at 08:01 PM.

  18. #33348
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    Go Savana!!! That's freaking AWESOME!!!!

    As for the others at them. How stinking rude.

    --

    Remember when I posted and said I thought my cousin and her bf were judging me for being too lenient with Conner? I was totally offbase about that. Melly told me that they were looking at each other because he hasn't seen his kids in a month and Conner saying, "I miss Daddy. I want to see Daddy" was almost overwhelming for him. It was only the 2nd time I'd met him, so I misjudged what the look on his face meant, and he didn't feel comfortable enough around me to say anything...or god forbid, start crying. So they opted to leave.

    I'm really relieved because Melly is not only my cousin, but she's like a sister to me and my BFF. Has been since she was born. The first day I met and held her, I begged & cried to bring her home. I was just 2, but I remember it. And I was pissed at my mother for keeping her hand on Melony while I was holding her. I was big and could do it by myself! lol Anyway, I've loved her from that moment on.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  19. #33349

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    What a relief! I swear I was thinking about that earlier this evening and meant to ask you about that.

  20. #33350
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    Aw, you're so sweet! I am very relieved, although my heart breaks for him. He's a surveyor and is 'up here' working as a contractor for the gas drilling sites in PA (we're right on the NY/PA border). He misses his kids. Poor guy.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  21. #33351

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    Mandy, just popping in to give you a big squeezy hug. Hang in there. I hope you're getting all the support you need on this journey, whether from in here or elsewhere. I believe you have the perseverance, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you'll have the luck too!

    Chrissy, that must have been a hard conversation to have with Rich. Do you think maybe the kids could benefit from a predictable routine when it comes to seeing both of you? Jesi, for example, sounds like she has some trust issues with you right now, and they might be addressed if she could feel confident about when she'll see you next. Maybe she suspects you pop around just when you feel like it (kids draw crazy conclusions), and it might mean something to her if you promise to be there every time at some agreed-upon interval and always show up as promised. It sounds like she's drawing a lot of unfounded conclusions about you. Perception is a hard thing to change in others. I don't envy you.

    Bridget, your pool experience was so annoying!!!! Is NIP protected in WI the way it is in CA? Once I forgot my pump and ended up hand-expressing 7oz on a x-country flight. The flight attendant gave me such a disgusted look, but I was happy to relieve the pressure and have extra for B to drink on our descent. Couldn't help wondering what state I was flying over and what protections I had. Ugh, am tired of boob feeding being politicized, sensationalized and ridiculed.

    Molly, will call you back! I hope you're comfortable as can be.

  22. #33352
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    That was really uncalled for of those people, Bridget. You did the right thing ignoring them. Let them be ignorant-it just shows how stupid they are. I can't believe so many people have issues with public breastfeeding. It's done everywhere here; I don't flinch when I walk past a lady with a baby/toddler on her boob and I see it everywhere. It makes me glad that the attitude in this region is as laid back as it is with breastfeeding.

    Chrissy, I'm sorry you got some flack from Jesi, but I think kids just assign blame where they can sometimes; they just don't understand the bigger issues a lot of times. I'm glad it was just a misunderstanding with your cousin and that you two are OK.

    I've got to go tidy up the kitchen now while Cash is napping and Travis is at school. I should really try to organize the toy room as well since it looks like a bomb went off in there, but I find it so hard to start. Maybe I'll just do the ironing instead. I can see it over in the corner in the living room and I can manage that.

  23. #33353

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    When do you guys start to let your children use public bathrooms on their own? Kai has started to act uncomfortable with using the women's bathroom. He's only just turned 5! I told him that I do not like him to be where I cannot see him and it's not that I don't trust him. At the park yesterday I let him use the men's room and I stood outside the door and actually held it open an inch so that I could hear him. Also, at the beach we are usually the only ones in the changing room but the last time there were two other girls about Savana's age and Kai was very uncomfortable until I closed his little curtain and then he seemed fine. I feel like this is so early for him to even think of these things but I really don't want him to be uncomfortable. I am just terrified of weirdos in public restrooms. Dbf says he remembers being very uncomfortable at a young age of always having to go into the restroom with his mom.

  24. #33354

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    Ashley, what time is there? Get to that ironing, girl!

  25. #33355
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    It's 12:28 pm; I had my lunch and I'm energized!!!!!!!! Off to the ironing!

    I haven't gotten to that point with bathroom situation, B. I think, like you, I'm paranoid, and I don't know how old he'll be before I let him go on his own.

  26. #33356
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    Myles, I see the kids every day, so I don't know if making it every day at 6:00 p.m. will really make a difference. I keep inviting her down to my place, and she even has a room there of her own, but she is too busy running off with her friends. I've noticed she's helping her dad a lot. I mean, she was always really good about doing her chores and some extras, but now she's doing additional thing. They're tackling the back bedroom together (it was full of Bobbie's stuff that she refused to go through, organize, or get rid of), and yesterday when I first got there dinner was just about done and she came downstairs with a stack of plates & silverware. While Cramer was in the hospital, she helped her dad lift his cage outside (and it's heavy!). Again, I was there but Rich didn't bother to ask me to help carry it. He asked Jesi instead. I'm very concerned that's he's replacing me with her, in the manner of helping with the big chores. It's fine if she wants to help, but when I'm there I can do stuff but he doesn't ever ask me or even mention, "hey, we're cleaning out Bobbie's stuff today."

    I don't know if I would ever feel comfortable letting Conner go to the bathroom on his own in a public one. So far, Conner hasn't seemed to mind going in the girls' room with me or one of his sisters. I hadn't thought about it yet because like you B, I didn't think he'd be old enough to start worrying about that. In fact, quite the opposite. Conner is still on this streaking streak. At least that's only been at home.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  27. #33357
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    Mandy. It will happen, and I hope, soon.

    Chrissy, I think that it might be helpful for Jesi to feel useful. Also, might be her way of showing which "side" she's on, kind of like a 'See, we don't need you'. This too shall pass. It's tough all around. I know you didn't ask for it, but IMO, it's Rich's house now, so he is perfectly within his rights to not ask you for help with stuff, especially if a clean break is what you're both looking for.

  28. #33358

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    I would be worried about Jesi being your stand in too Chrissy. Hopefully she is just being helpful and thinking and her dad needs some support. I would be more worried that he may be venting and saying inappropriate things about you to her though. But I also feel that if she is spending more time at home, then that is probably better than her going out and running around with her friends.

    Bridget, I didn't let Ky use the bathroom by himself until he was 10 years old. I know extreme but since I have sexual abuse in my past and due to the fact that there are a lot of stories here on the news of boys being raped in bathrooms, I was very hesitant in letting him use the restroom himself out in public. It would also depend on the location.

    I do know that he would be uncomfortable when he took swimming lessons because I would take him into the ladies locker room to get ready and not let him go into the men's. I just reminded him that even though it may be uncomfortable, I would be more worried with him going into the men's room and that when he was older, I'd let him go by himself. Also about bathrooms, that a bathroom is just a bathroom and all of them have stalls for privacy. I started letting him go more often by himself when he was 8. Honestly, I went into a lot of men's rooms lol! I would just go in while he was in the stall and stand at the door. Guys would give me a double take, but I'd tell them I was waiting on my son and they were like "okay." None ever said anything to me. After a while, Ky liked the ladies rooms better. He still says they are better because they are cleaner and don't have pee on the floor. Some boys bathrooms also have poop on the seats, something not standard in girls bathrooms.

    Erin

  29. #33359
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    Mandy. Hopefully this next cycle will be it for you. Have your DH ask the doc about maybe trying some progesterone after the IUI and see if that helps.

    Ugg on the bathroom thing Bridget. That is too young. I know DH and I were talking about maybe taking my cousin to a baseball game. He just turned 8 and wondering about the bathroom thing. DH thought that he was too young to go by himself so he would take him. We were going to ask my aunt what they do though because she's got two moms.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  30. #33360

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    I see, Chrissy. I didn't realize you were there every day. It must be tough to feel like you're coming into "his" turf to see your kids. It'd be great if there were some place at least neutral for you to meet up with them, but it's tough given that there are 3 of them living with him. Must be simpler but also somewhat more confusing for the kids to see you come home but leave every day. I wouldn't
    be surprised if Rich were sharing his thoughts about you with the kids in a very unguarded way. :/

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