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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #32461
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    I'm so sorry.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  2. #32462

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    Liz I am so sorry for your loss
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  3. #32463

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    I'm so sorry Liz.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  4. #32464
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    all around. I'm so sorry for your loss, Liz. And Mandy, that this cycle did not work out for you.

  5. #32465
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    Liz I'm so sorry for your loss.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  6. #32466

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    I'm so very sorry for your loss, Liz.

  7. #32467
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Liz, I'm so sorry. How difficult this must be for you.

    And Mandy, I was so hopeful. I'm glad to hear you already have a plan for the next time, though.

    Bridget, I'm on a road trip too! I hope you're having fun so far. The rest of my family went to bed in sheer exhaustion before 8 pm tonight so I'm out in the living room of our hotel reading quietly and trying to recover from the day.

    We left early. I woke up at 4 am and got the kids up at 5 am. I wanted to beat the traffic and hoped they would nap. It was a 9-hour drive with stops.

    Instead, S. yelled the whole way minus about 45 minutes. Not mad yelling, but high volume constant stream of consciousness yelling like THIS MILK SURE IS YUMMY, OH LOOK A TRACTOR, MOMMY I JUST DROPPED MY TOY, IT'S A SUNNY DAY, I SEE ONE DADDY AND ONE MOMMY AND I HAVE TWO EYES AND MY EYES ARE OPEN, DID YOU HEAR THAT LOUD MOTORCYCLE, etc. Trying to talk over or around him just increases his volume.

    I theorized today that his awful period of colic was actually just a pre-verbal form of this intense need to hear himself at high volume all the time, and that it's also contributing to his sleep issues. I certainly couldn't sleep if I had all that in my head all the time.

    He is like this a lot, but not often this loud and this long in such an enclosed space.

  8. #32468
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    L, I had to laugh. Mira is a little like that. She likes music though, so that keeps the chatter down in the car (of course, she's singing along, but I don't mind that).

    I don't know if I told you guys, but Mira's teacher went on a retreat (planned). It's a month long, and basically, meditation. No phones, TV, internet, they get up at 4:30, stop eating at noon, and go to bed by ten. I don't think I'd last two days.

    Anyway, the sub has the kids doing some crafty stuff, they were sitting down to some beading yesterday morning at drop-off, and she was helping one of the younger kids in class (around Mira's age), but not her. I mentioned that they're both going to need help 'cause they're so much younger than the other kids, and her jaw just dropped. She was like 'Mira's two? I thought she was just petite'. Turns out, her teacher had pointed out the younger kids to her before she left, and Mira wasn't on that list. Plus, she's a chatterbox, understands and follows complex directions, and is PT-ed, so she figured her for a 3 year old. She said that in a way it's good, because she knows that the kid can handle the work meant for 3 year olds. I actually heard that she's very mature for her age! From two separate people. I have NO idea who this kid is that they're talking about. I should post a video of my very mature child's massive meltdown over absolutely nothing.

  9. #32469
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    I theorized today that his awful period of colic was actually just a pre-verbal form of this intense need to hear himself at high volume all the time, and that it's also contributing to his sleep issues. I certainly couldn't sleep if I had all that in my head all the time.

    He is like this a lot, but not often this loud and this long in such an enclosed space.
    L, have you had his hearing checked? I know he's talking, but there are some forms of hearing loss (low frequency and/or unilateral) that can go undetected because the kids are very verbal. Probably not the case, but you got me wondering and it might explain all the screaming. Recently I saw a little one with a unilateral loss that had just been caught (by an observant babysitter) and after she was fitted with a hearing aid, the mom said she started to talk at a normal volume for the first time in her life.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  10. #32470

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    Liz so very sorry about your mom. She was so young. I know it must be such a shock to you and will be thinking of you.

    Erin

  11. #32471
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    I'm on my last day of Reunion 2012. It's been real fun So fun I came in at 11 when I was scheduled to be here at 2. When I leave at 7, that's it. We're done.

    My day started out bad though. I'd bought an electric cigarette in an attempt to quit and I left it upstairs when I was leaving for work. When I went back to get it, I couldn't get in my house! My key turns slightly, but it won't turn it enough to unlock it!! I have my back door locked with a slider lock because that dead bolt had felt too stiff and I struggled with unlocking it from the inside once so bad that I feared being trapped in there in the event of a fire and stopped using it. So as such, I can't unlock my back door from the outside. :/ I called my landlord and he was slightly put out, but whatever. I said it wasn't too urgent because I wouldn't be home till 8 or so tonight. I hope he gets my door open.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  12. #32472
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    I hope so, too! That's never a good situation when your lock doesn't work.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  13. #32473
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    I don't know what I'll do if it's not unlocked when I get home. I have no other way into the apartment and I've a feeling they're not exactly the type of landlord that's right on top of things. I have a drip in my hallway when it rains and I think I mentioned that when I pried open the painted shut windows, there was busted glass in the sills from years prior even though all the glass that I have is solid. So when a window broke and they had to replace it, they left the broken bits right there. The porch roof is so bad that when my dog ran out onto it they were afraid she'd fall through. She's 15 lbs. And I know I shared the state of the back steps-how they're so old and bad Rich fell down them.

    I'm worried this isn't going to be a priority and they won't go fix it and leave it to me to figure out how to get the lock open.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  14. #32474
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    I would call mid-day to see how much progress they have made - in other words, to remind them. And/or threaten them if you can't get in later. Surely if you don't have access to,the apartment and they did nothing about it, you could justify pro-rating your rent, as you needed to find alternative accommodations?
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  15. #32475
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    Oh please let them have the door open for me! I do not want to deal with that!!!

    lol-I moved out so I wouldn't have to deal with stuff.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  16. #32476
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    Unfortunately, moving out never removes the need to deal,with stuff. The good news, though, is that you can deal with it your way and on your terms.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  17. #32477
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Unfortunately, moving out never removes the need to deal,with stuff. The good news, though, is that you can deal with it your way and on your terms.
    I know.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  18. #32478

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    Liz, big huge hugs to you, my friend. I am so sorry you lost your mama.
    Chrissy, did you get in?

    L, aren't roadtrips hard? I swear, I never get to just sit in my seat. It's laughable that I brought a book because I did not read one page of it. When i finally get Sawyer to sleep by nursing him with my face pressed against the window and WHERE am I supposed to put my arms while doing this, I have not figured it out. Then Kai has to pee. (He pees in a gatorade bottle because we are not stopping every 20 minutes and yes that is how often he pees and dammit that reminds me I left that in the car) Then Savana dropped her pen. Then Kai is hungry. Then dbf wants an energy drink from the cooler. Kai dropped his pen. Dbf wants a cup with ice because his drink is not cold enough. Savana dropped her pen. Kai needs help with his workbook. Savana is hungry. Kai dropped his pen. Savana needs a wet wipe because her hands are dirty from eating. Kai has to pee. Aaaaand....Sawyer's awake. And Kai dropped his pen.

    We are home. God help us all if these effing scabies are not dead.
    Last edited by Bridget; 06-09-2012 at 09:07 PM.

  19. #32479
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    How the freak does Kai pee in a bottle while strapped in 5-point restraints, and how can I teach my kids to do this? Or is it just to avoid stopping at gas stations?

    We have a potty in the car. So handy. I've used it myself in a pinch.

    My kids are going crazy with bad manners. I went over the plan for tomorrow with them:

    Breakfast at Omie's, then we will try to break a lot of her irreplaceable glass collection, then throw a bunch of debris into her pond, then random screaming, then ask her to give you whatever objects in her house strike your fancy, then pet the dog, then tease each other and complain about it, then jump into her kitty litter box, then sit on the couch and read some books.

    At this point Claire stopped me and asked if this really was the plan because she didn't think it would make Omie happy.

    Hmm, Claire, maybe you should think about that. It's been nonstop fighting and yelling and blatant falsehoods--DD told DH that she and Ro both had their seatbelts on when he took them out to lunch today in my car, but they didn't. They are both normally good about doing it or asking for help, and DH was not used to having them out of sight in the third row.

    Everyone except me has been going to bed at 7:30 pm.

    Good luck with no scabies, Bridget. We're only halfway through our trip and I'm so exhausted.

  20. #32480

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    Well, L, I must confess that I have to unbuckle the between the leg portion of Kai's belt for the pee in the bottle. I'm not proud of it but there it is.

    Dbf has a bite on his leg. It could be a mosquito but everything is scabies until proven otherwise. I honestly do not know what else I can do at this point. 80% of our clothing, towels, etc are still in plastic bags in the laundry room. I have no rugs out, vacuuming furniture and washing bedding every single day. This is crazy. I had to call my daycare families today to tell them i can't be totally sure they are gone. We are running up the credit card which we have never done. Surprisingly, dbf is being uncharacteristically calm about this while I am uncharacteristically freaking out.

  21. #32481
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    I'm sorry Bridget.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  22. #32482

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    Jeez Louise! I am feeling crabby and out of sorts today, maybe allergies or something. Anyway, my dh was kind enough to take J for a couple of hours this pm so I could lie down. I had all sorts of kooky annoying dreams and woke up more exhausted than before the nap. So dh says that while I was sleeping he decided to pool my birthday present with his father's day present and buy us both one big present. I was curious because the only thing that is big that we need is a new vacuum, and he expressed little to no interest in getting one (because he isn't the one who has to sweep all the floors but whatever). Anyway, I finally pried out of him that he got us a new $440 BLENDER! WTF?!?! Are you kidding me? A blender for my birthday? Oh you shouldn't have. Really. Really truly. You shouldn't have. I use an immersion blender to make a smoothie in the morning, but other than that I cannot think of a time in the last seven years since we moved into the house that we needed a blender. We have a food processor and an immersion blender and I cannot think of one reason why we would need a blender. I tried to not make him feel too much like an idiot, and asked him how he planned to use it, was there something that he wanted to make that couldn't adequately be handled by what we have now, where on our already over-crowded counter were we going to put it, etc. I just told him to spend the next few hours today thinking about how much we would actually use such a thing and if he really wanted it that he could go ahead and keep it, but that I thought we could use the money to buy something we have already talked about needing (vacuum). Or, in my head, use less than a quarter of the money to buy me something I really want for my birthday and not a g-d blender. I really hope he cancels the order. I cannot believe he did that.

    And my birthday party is not going well. There are only three yeses and 15 maybes and 6 nos. Such a drag. I kind of want to cancel, but now no matter what we do I will feel like a big unpopular idiot and nothing is going to be fun. I know I am too old to feel like that or care about it, but it totally feels like rejection and unpopularity. Summer birthdays are awful. For my 6th birthday I had a swimming party and the only person who came was my brother's friend. Not one other person. I don't know what to do. Maybe just cancel and go see a movie. Or maybe go see my old favorite band from when I was single and used to go dancing every time the Derailers were playing at the Broken Spoke - they are playing that night. But my dh doesn't dance at all and I hate like anything sitting at a table watching everyone else dance. hmmmmm.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  23. #32483

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    Aw, dude. That SUCKS that he got you a blender!! It's so hard not to appear ungrateful in these circumstances but then again, how could you possibly be grateful for that?
    If it makes you feel any better, I couldn't imagine throwing a birthday party and having more than one or two of my friends being able to make it. But that might not make you feel any better since I pretty much have no social life right now. Could you go see the derailers with some dancing girlfriends while your dh stays home and makes smoothies for the kids?

  24. #32484

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    Lol Bridget! Great idea. My sister is the one I would go dancing with but she lives in Germany now. I would take my dh if I could get him to dance. He did seem willing to take lessons month or two back. We will see. I don't like birthdays vet much.

  25. #32485

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    Very much

  26. #32486

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    I'm sorry Katy... I don't like birthday parties of any sort for that reason. I would drive down to Austin for a show and dance my arse off if I wasn't 8 months pregnant. Seriously. I almost cried because the band White Flag came to dallas and I had morning sickness (all day) and couldn't go.

    I can totally understand your disappointment with a blender, but I have to ask, did he get you a Vitamix? Because if so, I'm super jealous. Those things are amazing.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  27. #32487
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    Katy, I'd dance with you. I think I'd wait and see who really shows up. If it's a small crowd, you can have an intimate dinner and all go out 'clubbing' (or dancing) together. You may be surprised and end up with a large turnout after all.

    Poo about the blender at your dh!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  28. #32488

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    Chrissy, I only wish you could! We were planning on renting a karaoke machine since I love doing that so much, but if there are only a couple of people that just seems extra pathetic.

    Molly, what is so great about a vitamix? DH said this is better than a vitamix blender and has a 7 year warranty and can crush asphalt if necessary. I just can't think of anything I do that needs that much power. We aren't really big juicers, though perhaps that is what my dh is thinking about?

    And Bridget, I don't have that active of a social life either. My best friend lives in SF and I see her maybe twice a year. My college best friends live in Colorado and Minnesota, so rarely if ever for them either. The people I invited were a lot of my dh's friends, parents of JoJo's friends who we get along with really well, old friends from comedy, etc. None of them great friends, but fun people. Oh, well. I guess I will give it until Wednesday morning. If the attending count is still low I will skip renting the karaoke machine on Wednesday and just change the invite to say meet at the the Spoke! And if any of you all do get down to Austin, get to the Spoke yourselves. Old-time Texas honky tonk with a wood dance floor. So much fun.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  29. #32489
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlwonder View Post
    And if any of you all do get down to Austin, get to the Spoke yourselves. Old-time Texas honky tonk with a wood dance floor. So much fun.
    I wouldn't miss it!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  30. #32490
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    I'm another one that doesn't have b-day parties anymore and if I did, there is nobody to come. My bff lives 90 minutes away but we still only see each other a few times a year tops. My sister is 5 hours away. My other best friend lives in Paris so it's been years since I have seen her in person. Usually we try to time a trip back home somewhere around my b-day so usually we will do a little something with my family.

    And I stopped asking DH to buy me stuff a long time ago. he doesn't try to surprise me either. Just works out so much better for us. He usually picks out a nice card and that is about it. If I do ask for something, it is almost always something practical like for the house or I could see this year asking for money towards a travel system or something. LOL
    Oh wait I do need an iPad....and yeah it is starting to be a need and not a want for me to have one for my career. But I am hoping maybe to talk him into that in July or August.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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