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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #31591

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    No, not always that long. I usually don't start so early but I could tell Savana needed to be in her bed alone because she wasn't handling life very well lol. But Kai took a nap today so he's not tired. Sawyer's asleep. But he'll be up likely within the next hour or 2.

  2. #31592

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    Aww.

  3. #31593

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    Mayo here. MW tastes like mayo left out in the sun too long. Just off.

    We have a nice big master bedroom so we have our king bed and plenty of room for Abbey's double bed. DH had the idea to move her in there when she started getting scared, which was after we moved to house with the master on the bottom floor and her bedroom upstairs, on the opposite side of the house. We both had a lot of sympathy for her since it must be scary to be all by yourself on one floor and we couldn't even hear her unless she screamed for us. Anyway it works for us because she usually has to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and being pregnant it's easier for me to hop out of bed to help her instead of running upstairs. My IRL momma friends who are more natural-minded would never think anything of it, as most of them have toddler beds in the master bedroom too. But my neighbors... I get all kinds of comments ranging from 'tips' to help get her 'out of our room' to intrusive questions like 'what do you and DH do if you want to 'be alone''. . We have 5 bedrooms and a 3200 sq foot house. It's easy to find private time, not that it's anybody's business.

    That said, we've struggled with what to do when the baby comes. Abbey says we should all sleep in the same room , but I know she'd be woken up too much and she needs her sleep. We have two bedrooms downstairs that were the office and guest room, so we just made a big move and changed them into Abbey and baby brother's room. Hopefully it will work out, I'm nervous about Abbey sleeping alone on the bottom floor, but DH will likely sleep in the same room after a couple weeks with her since he'll need to sleep through the night when he returns to work (I get to sleep in there on the weekends).

    Oh and Jennifer, I just wanted to say that I had no intention of having a family bed or co-sleeping when I was pregnant with Abbey. I swore we'd have 'date night' every week and CIO when she was 'ready'. But then she was born, and my entire outlook changed. She was so small and needed us so much I couldn't imagine not being completely devoted to her... in all honesty, it would have felt like I was betraying every mommy instinct I had to carry out my original ideas on parenting. I don't know if you'll have a similar experience but I know that most every momma I know IRL has changed what they planned to do for various reasons, whether it's embracing cosleeping or giving up working or the exact opposite.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  4. #31594

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    Mandy, sorry about the rough day at work. I hope it all works out with your work and fertility scheduling. How scary for that family, and you must feel so helpless.

    Molly, I was much the same way with parenting. We always intended on the baby sleeping in our room but never our bed. My dh is actually the first one to suggest we bring G into our bed, and he was 2 days old. My only frame of mind for bed sharing was my SIL, who let her son sleep in their bed for years. When she found out I was pregnant, she said to me "don't let the baby sleep in your bed!" But whatever you think you might do, all goes out the window when you see that little face.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  5. #31595

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    Funny - I had every intention of having a family bed, having J sleep with us, being a baby-carrying nurturing mom. Within three months, she was not only out of our bed, but in her crib in her own room and we were all happier for it. You just can't predict how things are going to be because you are a different person after you become a mom (and are sleep deprived!), and your baby is his/her own little person too.

    Kate - I was thinking about your husband's issues with being too lenient. For a while I was thinking about giving J three poker chips each night to be used every time she wanted to ask a question. You could do that for Josh, that way you could still answer questions and be responsive but it would also give your dh some notion of limiting the behavior that makes him mad and it might help Josh figure out what are important questions and how to limit himself. From my own bedtime issue a few months ago, I realized that the problem wasn't in JoJo but in my response to her need (to not sleep). The solution came from removing emotion, judgement and control and letting J manage her needs on her own (with a certain amount of parental oversight, of course). The poker chip idea might be a graceful way to sidestep what might develop into a power struggle and real problem. Bottom line, just like with J - no one is going to get any sleep if every night ends in a fight. Good luck. Hope I'm not overstepping.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  6. #31596

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    Mandy - glad you are starting to feel like the year is finishing up. What a trying day - do you think you will be seeing that little boy next year? And I'm glad you managed to schedule your appt.

    Chrissy - how are you doing? Big hugs.

    Lydia - I'm sorry that your dh's plan didn't really work. maybe it is something that takes time. Sounds like it is really hard for everyone right now. I hope you get some sleep tonight.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  7. #31597

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    katy, the poker chips are a good idea! I like it!

    The miracle whip and mayo topic got me thinking about stuff I loved to eat as a kid that now I wouldn't touch. This may gross some out, but I loved vienna sausages and ketchup sandwiches. The ketchup would soak into the bread. Just thinking about it is making me nauseous. Hot dogs, I would eat cold ones out of the fridge. OMG. The cold slime they leave on your teeth. gag me. My folks loved Spam, and we would eat it a lot. I guess it comes down to what you are used to, what you eat while growing up. When my dad was here, he was surprised at the things I don't eat anymore-mostly processed food-that we ate while I was growing up. I saw recently that the average American eats 60 hot dogs a year. Woah, not me.

    The oddest thing has happened to dh, he has a swollen, red finger with stabbing pain shooting up his arm. He noticed it on Saturday afternoon. On Sunday it was bothering him and beginning to swell. He was really lethargic. He went to the doc on Monday, she had no idea what it could be. There are no bite marks. She had xrays taken, prescribed abx. And let me tell you what, do not google spider bites. It will give you nightmares. I was concerned it was a bad spider bite, black widow or brown recluse. Dh has been spending time outside working on the flower garden. last Friday he was at an old building where something might have biten him. It's all really strange. he's been really uncomfortable. Now it looks like the finger tip has a blood blister or broken blood vessel.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  8. #31598

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    Quote Originally Posted by raspberry View Post
    katy, the poker chips are a good idea! I like it!

    The miracle whip and mayo topic got me thinking about stuff I loved to eat as a kid that now I wouldn't touch. This may gross some out, but I loved vienna sausages and ketchup sandwiches. The ketchup would soak into the bread. Just thinking about it is making me nauseous. Hot dogs, I would eat cold ones out of the fridge. OMG. The cold slime they leave on your teeth. gag me. My folks loved Spam, and we would eat it a lot. I guess it comes down to what you are used to, what you eat while growing up. When my dad was here, he was surprised at the things I don't eat anymore-mostly processed food-that we ate while I was growing up. I saw recently that the average American eats 60 hot dogs a year. Woah, not me.

    The oddest thing has happened to dh, he has a swollen, red finger with stabbing pain shooting up his arm. He noticed it on Saturday afternoon. On Sunday it was bothering him and beginning to swell. He was really lethargic. He went to the doc on Monday, she had no idea what it could be. There are no bite marks. She had xrays taken, prescribed abx. And let me tell you what, do not google spider bites. It will give you nightmares. I was concerned it was a bad spider bite, black widow or brown recluse. Dh has been spending time outside working on the flower garden. last Friday he was at an old building where something might have biten him. It's all really strange. he's been really uncomfortable. Now it looks like the finger tip has a blood blister or broken blood vessel.
    DH had a swollen elbow that was giving the same symptoms, and the doc thought it was a staff infection (although there was no broken skin). After a few days of abx he was better, but I thought it was strange too.

    I used to eat vienna sausages too, and white bread rolled up into little balls, and kraft processed cheese. All things I wouldn't touch now. We also ate chipped beef on toast and goulash quite a bit.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  9. #31599
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    You never can predict. We had a family bed with the twins until they were 2 1/2. I attached a crib to our bed for S. when he was little, too, but he was in a crib by himself by 8 months and slept in a bassinet for his naps quite a bit. He did not like sleeping with me. He thought he did, and he asked to cuddle a lot, but whenever he was there he'd push away from me and push all of his arms and legs out so I couldn't get close to him. To this day, he likes to climb into our bed or the bunk bed and pretend like he's going to sleep, but it's just a game. If it's ever close to bedtime or people are sleeping, he's a complete menace. He bounces around and careens into things and yells and pulls at bedding and curtains and bonks his head on noses and ends up causing pain and blood.

    I also wanted to wear my babies, but I never found it very comfortable and all of my children wanted their diapers changed very frequently which meant they needed to get in and out and in and out all the time, and it just ended up being more work than it was worth.

    I also find that I am more strict than I thought I would be. There are some things that I tolerate just fine, but I am highly sensitive to my children being disruptive in public places where it shouldn't/wouldn't be tolerated. Like, I let them run around and shriek at the playground or parks or forests or beaches as much as they want, and I let them climb on things and do things that other parents might be worried about. However, if we are in a restaurant or a store, I do not let them pick up merchandise we are not going to buy, and they don't get to go under the table or run around or be too loud. I do as much as I can to minimize it, and entertain them as best I can, and I mostly don't get them into situations where they would be incapable of behaving, but I would not have anticipated my low tolerance for tomfoolery in shared, non-recreational spaces. We used to go out to breakfast almost every weekend, but now the dynamics are such that they cannot maintain their composure and manners for a restaurant meal, so we hardly ever go out unless we're stuck somewhere away from home.

    I give that as an example, Jennifer, because you sometimes say that you think you might handle discipline in certain ways, especially because of the way you grew up and how you saw it handled. I am surprised by this in myself, since I did not expect it and I essentially grew up with very limited discipline. My mom tells me she has no advice about bedtimes for me because we went to bed whenever we wanted, and we pretty much lived our lives like that. My sister and I ate our meals in our own rooms all the time. I had to learn my table manners in high school, after some awkward social dinners.

    Come to think of it, maybe this is the kind of thing she's thinking of when she said she thinks I'm a better mother than she was. I still think she was a great mom, though. I never felt anything but fully loved.

    I guess I should probably add I don't feel that strongly about mayo vs Miracle Whip either. I just thought the comic was funny. We keep mayo in the house because dh would agree with that comic. I may have to try making deviled eggs with MW, though, because the last time I did them they did not turn out as I hoped. I have been craving them since before Easter.

    I saw that comic after I read this hilarious letter that Miracle Whip wrote to Stephen Colbert, who apparently made fun of it on his show: http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/col...racle-whip-cci The sign-off is especially clever. "We're raising Hell, man" [italics mine].
    Last edited by 3andMe; 05-08-2012 at 10:40 PM.


  10. #31600
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlwonder View Post
    Mandy - glad you are starting to feel like the year is finishing up. What a trying day - do you think you will be seeing that little boy next year? And I'm glad you managed to schedule your appt.
    I have a feeling I have not seen the last of that family, for sure.

    Shelly, how scary about your DH's finger! I would worry about a bite, too.

    Last summer, I had some strange creature bite me in the exact same spot on each foot, right on the top of my foot. I remember at the first meeting with my RE I was in the stirrups and my bare feet were sticking out with an insect bite on each one. The doctor told me he thought they looked like brown recluse bites and he was really concerned. I told him it happened over a week ago and two brown recluse bites would certainly have killed my by then if they were going to. The doctor gave me a very strange look but didn't say anything else. Whatever they were, I was fine, but the whole thing was very strange.

    -- Okay, now that I just posted that, I want to google brown recluse bites to see how exactly how quickly they would kill me, but I'm too arachnophobic to risk seeing a picture of a brown recluse so that is one of the few things I will just have to leave un-googled. If someone else wants to fill me in on brown recluse venom it would ease my mind. ;)
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  11. #31601
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    It is highly unlikely that you would be killed by a brown recluse. Fatalities are uncommon, and tend to occur in very young children or elderly/immunocompromised.

    I actually did quite a bit of reading on them not too long ago, after finding out that there were 2000 brown recluse spiders removed from an infested home in Kansas. I followed the link from Wikipedia and found out several more houses had that level of brown recluse infestation, with families living in them, and some with infants! Nobody got bitten over periods of months and years.

    The thing you need to know is that the bad part of recluse bites is the wound ulceration and necrosis, which destroys soft tissue and may leave a big cavity. Most bites do not result in any symptoms at all, but if you are going to have problems, you would notice pain and itchiness within 2-8 hours, worsening within 12-36 hours, and necrosis within a few days.

    Supposedly 80% of "brown recluse bites" that are reported are misdiagnosed. As far as I can tell, it's not native to Arizona. Doctors are notoriously bad at diagnosing brown recluse spider bites.

    If it was not a deep, ulcerating wound with necrotic tissue, but just looked like a big bite, then it's hard to say what might have bitten you. Even if you had deep ulcerating wounds, apparently there are a number of other things that are far more likely to cause those than brown recluse spiders, even in areas where those spiders are native.
    Last edited by 3andMe; 05-08-2012 at 10:59 PM.


  12. #31602
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    It was not a deep, ulcerating wound and definitely no necrotic tissue. But I do react badly to any form of insect bites (I get enormous welts that itch unbearably from mosquito bites) so when I get bitten by anything it tends to look worse than it does on other people.

    Popular wisdom has it that there are brown recluse in my city. I certainly am no spider expert since, as stated above, I'm terrified of them, but lots of people talk about brown recluse around here. DH just googled it and found a site saying they aren't here, but there is something quite similar that everyone goes on about. We do have black widows for sure (unless you want to de-bunk another myth for me?)

    That said, I KNOW we have bird spiders (popularly called tarantulas). Can't miss 'em. They aren't deadly, though, just huge and hairy.

    -- DH just turned but a site stating that the Arizona Recluse is native to AZ, TX, NM, and CA and is very similar to the brown recluse, but has darker colored markings. That clears that mystery up! It also has a necrotic bite.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  13. #31603

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    Not meaning to worry anyone, but My grandfather was bitten by a brown recluse spider and ended up dying a few weeks later from complications. But he was about 75. I have googled spider bites, especially brown recluse. Don't do that! Scary stuff. But most of the really bad ones waited a long time to go to the doctor.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  14. #31604
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    Oh, ick! So sorry about your grandfather, Katy.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  15. #31605

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Oh, ick! So sorry about your grandfather, Katy.
    Thanks, Mandy. Like I said, he was very old and therefore compromised already.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  16. #31606
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    Aw, that's really sad about your grandfather, Katy. My mom was bit by a spider once (not sure what kind) and she had an allergic reaction to it and nearly died. She has to carry an epi pen or whatever they're called now in case she gets bit again. (There's actually a longer story about the spider bite)....It was my sister's birthday....I guess she would have been 10. We wanted some sodie pop to go along with the cake we had for her birthday, so my mom said she'd walk to the store and get us a bottle. We lived about 15 minutes walk from the store. (And we only had one car at the time that my dad took to work, so we walked to the store a lot). My mom got dressed in a big sweater (My sis's birthday is the day after Xmas). After waiting over an hour, we finally called my grandma to see where my mom was. (Grandma lived along the route to the store, about half in between our house and the store). My sister and I were really upset because we figured my mom stopped at my grandparents house and got drunk and forgot about the pop! This was at a time that she did stuff like that. She'd just get wasted at random times....come to find out, she had been rushed to the hospital because she was starting to go into anaphalectic (sp?) shock from the spider bite that must have bit her when she put her sweater on! And no one had bothered to call to tell us!

    Shelley, I hope your DH feels better soon.

    I've got to go pick Travis up from school now, but I'll be back on later to chat about bedtimes and behavior and things.

  17. #31607

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    Sodie pop

    I got bit by something when I lived in Hawaii. It was on my inner thigh and Itched horribly. It was the day before dbf and were going to Vegas for my friend's wedding, our first trip together. It got really swollen and then became a gaping hole. Ew, it makes me shudder just to think about it. I was on abx and spent most of the trip in a hot bath to drain my owie while dbf was gambling and partying and coming up to check on me periodically. It was a super sexy trip let me trip let me tell ya!

  18. #31608
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    Ugh, I got bit by a spider while visiting my parents in Arkansas a few years back as well. The spider must have been in my undies because the bite was, well, um, how do you say, very close to the lady parts. LOL. That probably is my most embarrassing visit to the doctor ever!

    I picked Travis up from school (today is his birthday) and he said, "That was a really good day at school." All the kids sang to him and he handed out treats to them. I told him this morning that the kids would probably sing to him and asked him not to hide his face. I told him that it would make the other kids happy if they saw him smiling when they sang to him. So, I asked him what face he did while they sang, and he tilted his head to the side and made this adorable little happy face. I told him that I was proud of him for not hiding his face while the other kids gave him so much attention.

    Back to the bedtime stories, we've had it good for the most part with bedtimes with a few rough patches thrown in there. Our routine now is that the kids get a bath at 6:30. By 7, we take them upstairs to their rooms. They sleep in separate rooms for now, but I think when Cash gets a little older, we'll put them in the same room. We take turns putting each of them to bed. Most of the time Travis wants me to read him a story. Lately, I've been getting him to 'read' back to me as well. So, we'll spend about 15 minutes reading and then I'll say, 'Let's get some rest now.' Usually, Travis will continue talking for another 15 minutes or so while I lie in bed next to him and then I'll say, "In 5 minutes, I'm going downstairs to tidy up, OK?" And then I get out of bed and he'll blow me a kiss and I have to catch it and throw it back to him. We always say, "see you in the mornin'" and then I go downstairs.

  19. #31609
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    Quote Originally Posted by AbbeysMom View Post
    Oh and Jennifer, I just wanted to say that I had no intention of having a family bed or co-sleeping when I was pregnant with Abbey. I swore we'd have 'date night' every week and CIO when she was 'ready'. But then she was born, and my entire outlook changed. She was so small and needed us so much I couldn't imagine not being completely devoted to her... in all honesty, it would have felt like I was betraying every mommy instinct I had to carry out my original ideas on parenting. I don't know if you'll have a similar experience but I know that most every momma I know IRL has changed what they planned to do for various reasons, whether it's embracing cosleeping or giving up working or the exact opposite.

    Oh I know I will change on somethings since I did getting my own dog....not everything but a few things did change when I had my own. I did not want her in the bed and DH put her in there. 8 years later and she's still in the bed. But he realized it wasn't the best because Poogie is still sleeping in her kennel and NOT in my bed. We only have a queen and only have room for a queen....and I don't like sharing it even with DH. And often he starts out with me on weekends and ends up in the office on the futon....I'm not an easy person to sleep with....and definitely not a safe one for a baby or even small child. I don't even really think that there is room in our room for a cradle or pack n play...but nursery is only a few steps away from our room.
    I am strongly considering putting a twin in the nursery though right off the bat and using that as a place to sit or if baby is sick and I need to be in there.
    I do think it would be hard though if the bedrooms were on different floors. When we picked out floor plan for the house, we went with a ranch with smaller bedrooms clustered together on one side and gave more sq ft to the living room, dining/kitchen.

    I know family beds and such work great for some and that is cool. But that is just not for us...and one of the few things I'm certain will not change. Neither of us were raised that way. I NEVER ever slept with my parents. If we had a bad dream, we got to sleep on the couch but never with them. If sick, we slept on the couch.
    DH and I both think our moms did a pretty good job and respect their parenting so I suspect we will be repeating a lot of what they did.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  20. #31610
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    I never slept with my parents either Jen. With Bobbie we never tried it because her crib was in our room. Besides, she had colic and the swing was the only thing that soothed her so she usually slept in that. With Jesi, I tried co-sleeping with her but she didn't like it. I ended up cosleeping with Syd because I breastfed her and it was just easier. With Conner, we did it right from birth. He's slept in his own bed at our other house where there was room for him to have his own bed, but now that we've moved back to our small house he's back in bed with us. Now that Bobbie and Jesi are both out of the house we were talking about giving the larger room to Syd and setting up her room for Conner. We were just talking to him about that last night, how it would be awesome to have his own space and place for all his toys.

    Anyway, I guess my real point is that I never thought about cosleeping. I didn't think we'd do it. Rich's family was definitely NOT the cosleeping kind at all and neither were mine.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  21. #31611
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    Oh we have those spiders up here too but it's not common. I do know someone whose good friend got bit by one and didn't get in to the doctor right away and ended up having to have either a finger or maybe it was his hand amputated.
    I think though I would probably see a bear before seeing a brown recluse. Ticks are by far the biggest concern.

    As far as mayo or mw....both are nasty. we do keep mw in the fridge because dh likes it once in a while.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  22. #31612
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    Just wanted to say Hi, you guys! Been kinda busy.

    Erin, I'm sorry about your FIL. I missed that somehow.

    Jumping straight into spiders - I like them, and do catch and release when I find them in the house. DH is phobic. He used to make my neighbor's daughter walk in front of him on hikes so she'd run into any spider webs across the trails instead of him, the weenie!

    I thought I knew a lot about parenting and about how I'd go about raising my child, until I had one of my own (even as young kids, we took care of our younger cousins A LOT, so caring for kids was something I knew about). Rules go out the window, and you go with what works for you and yours. Mira is a tough nut. She is extremely adept at manipulation (especially daddy, who is a sucker) and has well honed negotiation skills. And she's only 2! I'm having to be a lot sterner about pretty much everything than I thought I would have to be, and understand why my mom did things the way she did now.
    Last edited by Suja; 05-09-2012 at 08:30 AM.

  23. #31613

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    I'm not sure if the poker chips will work, because we tried tickets before, we gave him two and even when they were used up he continued to ask questions. And there's really nothing we can do about it, it's either we respond to the questions or we ignore them and he works himself into a hysteria if we ignore him.

    Happy birthday Travis!

    L, that letter from MW was hilarious!

    I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to pass on googling spider bites.

    I don't think I really had any idea how I was going to parent. I didn't even know what attachment parenting was until I came here. I thought it just meant you never put your baby down. I don't remember if my parents coslept for any amount of time, but I do remember if I had nightmares I could go to their bed. I was breastfed, but I'm not sure how long. Pretty cool actually, considering I was whisked away to Boston at birth. But I do have a picture of my mom bfing me, so I know it happened for at least a little while.

    So I was pretty naive about parenting, bfing, all that. My mom warned me "it's hard" but she tends to underestimate me so I never asked her exactly what she meant. I assumed that because I was a special needs child, she was just basing it off that.

  24. #31614
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    Yeah one time I googled spider bites, it was not fun. It was because one time I was outside, Seren in the mei tai, and i thought my hair brushed against my arm but come to find out it was like a huge arse spider. I flung it off but tried to get a picture so I could google to make sure it wasn't poisonous. I still never found out what kind it was.

    As for co-sleeping, I'm on a daycare provider forum and man oh man are they against it. And I guess I understand why, because its harder to get a co-sleeping baby to sleep by themselves while at daycare. But that's why I won't take another baby until Seren is older and able to sleep on her own. In fact, I actually had an interview last friday for one of my neighbors' newborn. It would have only been pt but I'm so thankful they emailed me monday to say that gramma was going to watch baby instead. I was internally thinking "wtffff was I thinking, agreeing to do this??!!" so now, if I take another it will be over 12/18 months. Wow, cosleeping turned daycare conversation.

    **Lizzo**

  25. #31615
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    Quote Originally Posted by Inca View Post
    As for co-sleeping, I'm on a daycare provider forum and man oh man are they against it. And I guess I understand why, because its harder to get a co-sleeping baby to sleep by themselves while at daycare.
    We co-sleep, and Mira has not been a problem sleeper at daycare/school. Not any more than she is at home, anyway. This child hates to go to sleep.

  26. #31616

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    I found a Disney lullaby CD at Best Buy and bought him a cd player. I hope I don't end up regretting that. I'm going to ask DH if he'd rather have me put the radio we have in the kitchen in Josh's room and replace it with the new one downstairs. The radio in the kitchen is nice but old, whereas the new one is cheap but new. Hmm...

    I also found an awesome CD of Muppets songs covered by various artists

    I believe cosleeping/bedsharing/whatever adds another step in the sleep process that is usually difficult enough to begin with. I'm not saying I would take it back, because it sure did make things easier at the time to have him in our bed, but I think for us it might have aided in causing problems we're having now. I even used to nap with him. Boy do I miss those 3 hour nap days.

  27. #31617

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    I don't know, Kate - can you try again? Maybe if you included Josh in the process of deciding how many tickets he gets per night. Three to five might be a good place to start. Talk to him beforehand about what are important questions versus questions that can wait until the morning. Practice and make it kind of a game during the day so you can refer back to it in the evening when he forgets. Keep a jar for unused tickets - once he has ten or twenty unused tickets he gets to go for ice cream with his dad or gets a matchbox car or something. Make it not so much a punishment and external control over his behavior by you and your dh - if you can engage him in learning self control it will be easier in the end. Easier said than done, I know, but the control issues are going to be there so you might as well use them to your advantage. And I'm not just talking about Josh. Your dh sounds like he has some too, and the tickets might be a way for him to remind Josh of rules without getting mad or acting the heavy, which is upsetting for everyone.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  28. #31618

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    We used an attached co-sleeper for both babies to start. DD didn't sleep well anywhere in the beginning, including in our bed. She actually did better in her own crib. Now, she's the best, easiest sleeper ever. Bedtime is a breeze, one book, some snuggles and she usually calls me back in once for a drink or for "another animal" and that's it. DS sleeps much better with us, so usually after he wakes up for the first time, in he comes. Only if I wake up need to pee or get a drink do I put him back in his crib so I can stretch out. Neither has ever had any issues going and staying to sleep at daycare.
    AKA Lisa724

  29. #31619
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    Jan 2008
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    See I personally have no idea how a co-sleeping baby does at daycare. When my kids (daycare kids, not my own kids) started daycare here they were 2 and 18 months. The 18 month old I had to rock to sleep for about a week because he missed mommy and daddy and nap time (and drop off) was the hardest/saddest time of the day since he wasn't being a busy body. But after that first week I just layed him in the pnp and he fell asleep perfectly. My only experience with cosleeping babies have been my own. I just was reading a thread there (on the daycare forum) the other day that talks about how "blah blah blah, cosleeping babies are so hard blah blah blah." And so I figured maybe there was some truth to it. I mean, if you were to take Seren right now and try to get her to sleep without the boob, there would probably be some tears. Yeah, I'm sure she'd get used to it eventually, but like I said, there would probably be some tears as she got used to it. I just think, there has got to be a gentle way to get a cosleeper to sleep alone, and maybe these providers just aren't trying? I have no idea.

    And you know, there is nothing I love more than baby snuggles from co-sleeping. . The only thing I miss is my space. Our bed is small and when it is just S and I, we are fine. But when you add dbf into the mix, we get a bit crowded. And we do have a co-sleeper attached to the bed, but she wakes up the moment I put her in it. I think she's slept in there under 5 times, for less than 2 hours each time. Those 2 hours were glorious, but so rarely does it work out. And luckily with R, when we stopped cosleeping at 18 months due to him wiggling so much, it was an easy transition to the crib. He slept fine in his crib, and then fine in his toddler bed. The only issue we've had with sleep is what I talked about earlier, taking the sippy cup away causing some issues with him staying in bed. But, since I decided to give up on that battle for now, we give him about 2oz of milk in a sippy when he goes to bed, and the power struggle has pretty much stopped. So, we'll revisit the sippy again sometime, but for now, it works for us. Guess it's a perfect example of choosing your battles. I'd rather him take a sippy with bed than me loosing my cool and yelling at him.

    **Lizzo**

  30. #31620
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    Miracle Whip is gross, I am a Mayo only girl!

    Nolan co-slept for the longest time (because it was easiest for me ) and the sitter has always rocked him to sleep. He also will not nap anywhere other than on a "bed". Kind of my fault since that is where he naps at home on the weekends and unfortunately it is the same at the sitters She tries a PnP off and on, but so far a no go. He won't even sleep in his crib unless I wrap the mattress in a couple extra blankets to make it more soft.... On the other hand, when Grammy keeps him he just lays down with her for a few minutes and passes out that way. With DH he lays him on the bed and pats his back.... It's different for each of us, which I always thought was weird.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


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