Secular Confessions

[demigraf]

Eeee, Bridget. Whatever happened this weekend sounds mighty scary. I do hope your DBF has learned his lesson!

Erin, I so want to be more of a free-range parent. I haven't quite figured it out yet. It seems like every time I've decided to be cool and let B walk more than 10 feet away from me without guarding him like a hawk, he's always done something that terrified me like running off into the parking lot.

Liz, I know you said you wanted to move on from the drama, so I just want to shoot you a quick to say I hope you're feeling better today.

Katy, I'm sorry to hear you were sick over the weekend. I hate being sick too. I kind of take it personally... like it's something I've done wrong. LOL. (It's not like I have a toddler who brings home germs from his adorable infested playmates and sneezes all over my dinner plate. ;) ) Anyway, I hope you feel better now. How did you like your class. If I remember right, it was for graphic design and maybe photoshop? Are you interested in pursuing that further?

Kate, that's so funny that Josh brought you a hard cider. LOL. Did you drink it?

Chrissy, go ahead and take the abx if your lymph nodes are that swollen. Another thing you can try if you don't want to do the abx - recommended by my holistic chiropractor friends - is to flood your gut with probiotics. Basically, they say to buy a refrigerated brand from a health food store and start taking them every 2-3 hrs. You do so until you start to get diarrhea. (Yum!) That's when you know you've sufficiently colonized your gut with the good kind of buggies (creating an environment that's inhospitable to the bad kind of buggies which are then supposed to die off), and that's how you know you can back off the probx. I'm just sharing this as something I've heard done as an alternative to abx, not a recommendation. If you are interested in doing something like that, please Google or ask someone else who knows more than me. At the very least, I'd make sure I took my probiotics (in yogurt or caplet form) after doing a course of abx, just to reintroduce the good buggies in to my system.

Ash, have fun at Zumba!

[Bridget]

Katy, I am sorry you were sick. That sucks. I am a horrible sick person too. I normally feel really good. Like, I tell myself I feel better than the average person but I have know idea how I think I know that! lol
Chrissy, I also hope you feel better too. Sometime ya just gotta take the prescription but I know how you feel because I avoid them too.

I honestly don't know if I am a helicopter parent. In some ways I suppose I am. But I try to let them be kids. When we play outside they can get as muddy and dirty as they please and as long as I can see them, they can run far ahead. But like I said, mine are rule followers so far. Safety is big to them. Other parents laugh because when we go to the park they'll be climbing on something and say, "Mom, does this seem safe to you?" and I'll say, "I don't know. I'm not you. Does it feel safe?" And then usually Kai will be like, "ummmm, No. I'm coming down." Dbf says stupid sh!t like Kai is a baby and a wuss but I think he's just a really smart kid and he won't do anything until if feels right.
This whole situation with the Ticks around here and the worry about Lymes disease has me a little crazy though. I ordered all the ingredients to make tick repellent. Dbf keeps saying the kids just have to stay out of woods and grassy areas but seriously, there is hardly anything else to do around here! I don't want to take that away from them.

[missychrissy]

What the heck? He wants them to stay out of the yard? Ticks can be anywhere, not just in the woods.

[Bridget]

When they are rolling down the hills and such he gets all bent. And then of course that great fallen tree we found is surrounded by long grass and he thinks we should stay out of there now. I see why he is worried but what's the point of living if you can't have fun?

[missychrissy]

Lyme disease is a big deal here too and there have indeed been many, many more than other years, but I still let my kids romp around outside. If they get a tic, we'll go the the walk-in and have it sent to the lab to be tested. The likelihood of them actually getting lyme disease isn't that great, especially if you're mindful and keep an eye on them. I'm sure your repellent will do the trick to keep them off the kids too.

[AbbeysMom]

Bridget, can you get chickens? That seemed like a good suggestion from your other thread...

[MashedUp]

I just picked up round two of Doxycycline for my dog. She has Lyme and her symptoms started coming back this weekend Ticks are freaking everywhere here, but I'm with bridget, I don't let it stop us from going outside/in the woods. Let me know how your tick repellent seems to work!!

[Inca]

I wish we could have chickens! But yeah I'm a bit skeeved by the ideas of ticks since one of my friends got lymes and passed it on to her daughter while pregnant before being dx'd. Care to share your recipe too for tick-away?

And thanks demigraf, (sorry I am still learning names) I feel better today. He basically did not talk to me at all yesterday, or Remy really. Until I made dinner and said "If you're gonna eat, you need to occupy the kids for 20 minutes." and so he did. Then this morning we talked for a couple minutes as I was waking up/he was going to bed.

Oh and Bridget, I got that boxed wine. I'm so so excited to try some tonight. I wanted the chard but they were out, so go pino grigio it was. Mmm. Wine. Better be good for being 20 buckeroos!

[Bridget]

Hey! There are 3 bottles of wine in there, girl. And I shall join you with a glass of merlot this evening Dbf came home from shopping on the saturday before easter and said, "I got you some easter gifts". It was the Bota Box, some Guiness, and Bloody Mary fixins. Hmmm. lol

Chickens would be awesome but not practical for us right now. We're getting our eggs from local farmers for 1.50-2.00 a dozen. Plus, I don't even know if we are allowed to do it here. We've discussed it in the past but were afraid to delve deeper since for awhile there the town board was trying to make my close my daycare, tear down our carport, our fence, move our garden. Someone wasn't happy with us over here.

[missychrissy]

Hey! There are 3 bottles of wine in there, girl. And I shall join you with a glass of merlot this evening Dbf came home from shopping on the saturday before easter and said, "I got you some easter gifts". It was the Bota Box, some Guiness, and Bloody Mary fixins. Hmmm. lol

Chickens would be awesome but not practical for us right now. We're getting our eggs from local farmers for 1.50-2.00 a dozen. Plus, I don't even know if we are allowed to do it here. We've discussed it in the past but were afraid to delve deeper since for awhile there the town board was trying to make my close my daycare, tear down our carport, our fence, move our garden. Someone wasn't happy with us over here.

Whaa? I remember you said something about someone wanting your daycare closed, but I didn't realize you were going through all that. What is wrong with people? You must be the most awesome-est neighbor to have in the entire world! Did they finally lay off you guys?

[daylilies]

Nah, I didn't drink it. It was 10:30 in the morning and I wouldn't have felt right doing it, even though those things are less potent than a beer.

Liz, we call demigraf Myles, or Mules, when she's a victim of autocorrect.

Red was so out of control on the van today I pulled his babysitter aside after he got off the van. She seems really nice, and she said she'd pass it on to his mother. Red is a foster child He says he has been moved around a lot. I'm sure he has issues I can't even begin to understand.

[Bridget]

Yes, they did. Apparently is was all one guy and now that we have been here longer we have learned he's been a pain in a lot people's arses. He owns all the farm land that surrounds us and bought a big chunk of lakeside property next to us where he built some pricey condos. According to town gossips, he was hoping to buy the house we are in as well to build more condos and wasn't happy at all when we bought. Anyway, his son does landscaping for the condos and one day when he was working over there, dbf went over and spoke to him. I don't know what was said and never asked. Dbf is a big guy with big muscles and so we'll just assume that may or may not have had something to do with it. The guy has not said a word since that day. I don't advocate threats or anything like that but I sure am glad it stopped.

[Bridget]

That is sad, Kate. How old is he?

[daylilies]

Thirteen, but he seems to have the behavior of a 5 year old.

[Inca]

I thought the box is equivalent to 4- 750 ml bottles? I could be wrong, probably am just wishfully thinking.

[missychrissy]

Aw Kate, that's so sad.

Bridget-he sounds awful. I'm glad it stopped-regardless of how it came about. Greedy bas...

[Ky'sMom]

Erin, I so want to be more of a free-range parent. I haven't quite figured it out yet. It seems like every time I've decided to be cool and let B walk more than 10 feet away from me without guarding him like a hawk, he's always done something that terrified me like running off into the parking lot.

B is still so young, I wouldn't even worry about letting him be as free at his age, especially if he is really impulsive like Ky. Ky didn't get much freedom until he was around 4.5. I let him play out front in our apartment complex at the time and I would watch from the window.

Elle is much more calm than Ky was and I trust her more outside than I did Ky. She doesn't wander off and she always follows rules.

And Bridget your playground conversations sound so sweet!! Mine is usually involve me trying to get the kids to climb something or dangle upside down on monkey bars. I think it is the tomboy in me. I used to do so many dangerous things that I think maybe my mind is a little clouded in that I don't think things are as dangerous as they really are. Especially at playgrounds where there is mulch and bouncy ground stuff. I used to jump off the rooftops of houses when I was a kid. I remember getting stuck on one when I was 5, a neighbor of ours - Mr. Miller. My brother, who was 6 jumped off and left me and I stayed there crying. Mr. Miller came and got me down and told me not to climb on roofs LOL! After that I resolved to never be left behind, as my brother and his friends left me there so I got really good at jumping off of rooftops and I reasoned with myself by internally saying that knowing how to jump off roofs or out of 2nd floor windows may come in handy one day if there is a fire. To this day I am confident that I can hang jump from a 2nd floor window and I even thought of teaching Ky how to do it until I gathered my senses together and realized that doing that back then wasn't a great idea. I did tell Ky I used to jump off roofs and out of windows and he wants me to tell him how I did it without killing myself but I refuse. Instead I encourage him to jump off playground equipment. DH is always upset at me saying that I could cause him to injure himself but I don't make him do it, I just suggest it and give an idea of how he could do it without hurting himself. Oddly enough, he has never had a playground injury. Once he was running from the car to the playground and tripped over his foot and hit his chin against the car and needed stitches. I remember thinking that I wished he would have fallen on the playground because then he just would have been bounced by the bouncy floor thingy and wouldn't have needed stitches.

Erin

[daylilies]

Physically I usually let Josh do what he wants because I know he's cautious when he needs to be. It's funny, he likes to climb things and go down slides and stuff and he's good at it, but he trips over his own feet just walking around.

I'm a helicopter mom when it comes to him doing things I find annoying, like making noises, doing something too slow or repeating himself or making funny (annoying) voices while I'm trying to think.

I have this thing that I feel like the tasks I have to do build up in a queue in my head. It's like a conveyor belt and sometimes the belt gets stuck with something that's taking longer than I expected, and the other things I have lined up in my head that I have to do end up getting backed up. That's when I start to get anxious and I'm liable to snap at Josh to eat faster, or hurry up and wash his hands or stop using all that energy to make noise and use it to walk faster or something . Not because we're late for anything, but because my queue is getting backed up. Sometimes I just try to back off and take it slow.

The same sort of visualization would happen when I was working on the line in restaurants. I'd get caught up in something time consuming like opening oysters (I wasn't terribly good at it; when you're good it's fast) and I'd start to panic because things were lining up behind it.

[missychrissy]

I think I'm a combination of helicopter and free range...especially with Conner. It all really depends on the child. I didn't have to watch Bobbie and Jesi nearly as much as I had to Sydney, but she wasn't even as 'needy' in the watch department as Conner can be. Conner will take off and I swear if we don't notice, he could easily get a mile away! He doesn't do the rubber-band thing like most kids do (not even when he was 2). He gets interested in seeing something and goes to examine it, and then something further away catches his interest and he's there...and on and on, never looking back to see me or his sisters or dad. Rich and my have always had machinery around and Conner is the only one that has tried to turn on the circular saw And it's not like we left it laying around...Rich and Tim were actively using it and were measuring to see if the thing had been trimmed to the right size, and Conner was right there flipping the dang switch. He must be watched.all.the.time. He has successfully started our riding mower and once nearly convinced us he was going to start my brother's 'monster' truck. He said he was going to, ran out the door and within a minute a neighbor started his loud truck and we all looked at each other like 'cause it wouldn't have totally surprised any of us (even though it was an old truck that needed to be pumped before turning the key, I'm sure Conner was aware of that trick. He watched that kind of thing.).

[missychrissy]

But if we're at a park that's fenced in, I have no problem sitting on a bench and letting Conner try to do anything he can do. Just as long as I can see him lol

[Inca]

I am definitely a combination but I think more hover than free range for the simple fact that Remy is so impulsive. He wouldn't think twice of running out into the street, or in front of a moving swing while a child is on it (which he has done.) I'd love to just sit back and let him do his thing, but since his listening ears aren't the greatest, I tend to hover. But for things like getting dirty, doesn't bother me. Things like being loud and obnoxious while Seren is sleeping, definitely bothers me. I try every day to find my balance, especially with the daycare. It is trying, I will say that.

Oh and cheers Bridget! This wine is pretty good. Now I can be like you, "My hippie friend (in the computer) told me to drink it."

[Cosmosmom]

I tend to be a worrier and paranoid....but surprisingly not about Lymes. And I live up north in a high lyme area. And have gotten a number of ticks on us/in my house....and I don't lie in the grass or go in the woods. I mean I have a lawn and we keep that mowed. I'm not an outdoors person. I know that ticks need to be attached for a long time to transmit and if they are engorged, they are easy to find.
Just scope the kids out when washing up when they come in from playing outside. And for me, since I have the dogs, we are very hardcore about frontline all spring/summer/fall and both girls have a yearly lyme vax.

I think that I will probably helicopter. I'm already bad with the dogs and have a tendency to micromanage Dh as it is.

Sorry and big to those who were sick or had rough weekends.

[Suja]

I've always wanted a hippie friend!

Mira is a pretty careful kid, so in general, I let her do what she wants. If I feel that it's at the limits of her ability, I'll stay close enough to make sure she doesn't hurt herself.

[Inca]

Parks are different in a way, aside from the swing incident, I think Remy can manage pretty well. He's always loved to climb so that's fun to watch him do. Learning how to climb the different types of stairs, ladders, etc. Getting down is different. He sometimes needs me for that.

I am also partial hippie. In my own speeeeeshul way.

[Inca]

I am definitely a combination but I think more hover than free range for the simple fact that Remy is so impulsive. He wouldn't think twice of running out into the street, or in front of a moving swing while a child is on it (which he has done.) I'd love to just sit back and let him do his thing, but since his listening ears aren't the greatest, I tend to hover. But for things like getting dirty, doesn't bother me. Things like being loud and obnoxious while Seren is sleeping, definitely bothers me. I try every day to find my balance, especially with the daycare. It is trying, I will say that.

Oh and cheers Bridget! This wine is pretty good. Now I can be like you, "My hippie friend (in the computer) told me to drink it."

[daylilies]

I wish I was more of a hippie.

[Inca]

Weird how my post double posted but after I had already posted another response.

And you can be a hippie too, just go hug a tree. Listen to some Bob Marley while you're at it.

[missychrissy]

I hippies!! That's my favorite part about Ithaca.

[Bridget]

I love hippies too!!

So dbf is acting so giddy and it's cracking me up. We've been going through a, shall we say, dry spell. Between him playing poker late at night and me on the floor of our room on a mattress with Sawyer, and Kai sleeping up in our bed...just not the ideal scenario for hanky panky. Well I went on craigslist and bought a crib. I moved Kai into Savana's room and have been really trying to encourage Kai to stay in his bed all night. Today we sidecarred the crib to our bed and tonight I am actually going to sleep in our bed for the first time since Sawyer was born! Now just to be clear it hasn't been THAT dry around here. We've still found ways to dtd and we just did last night but it's really cute and I have to say flattering how excited he is that I'm sleeping in the bed tonight. Now we all just have to keep our fingers crossed that Kai sticks to his bed.

[missychrissy]

You crack me up Bridget! for you both!