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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #30541

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    Actually, they're supposed to be. There's a copy for the school, parents, and the office.

  2. #30542
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    Liz, I'm sorry your SO is being an ass. I have no words of wisdom to offer you, just

    We don't do Easter. YAY!!! Mira seems to have an upset stomach and isn't taking the nap she desperately needs, so is being a bear. Why won't this kid just go to sleep if she's exhausted? On Saturday, she had so much fun on top of no nap that she was sleeping in the middle of dinner, yet when I tried to take her upstairs, she was all 'I want to play with toys. Go downstairs'. She proceeded to pass out in a couple of seconds, and then slept from 6:20 until 8:45, waking up only twice!

    Myles, don't worry about it. I didn't find it snarky.

  3. #30543

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    I have a sugar hangover big time. I ate a massive piece of strawberry shortcake with cool whip frosting and I got a headache within the hour. I have been eating pretty clean lately and should not have done that. A part of me wonders if it's the gluten too. Weird. My head hurts though.

    We did pretty well for Easter. My own personal easter egg hunt was the annies gummy bunnies (one in each egg so a total of 2 little packets) and some turkish delights (kids were not impressed) and some homemade dark chocolate peanut butter cups (which Kai won't eat, he doesn't like chocolate). Savana came home from school with a bunch of crap candy and which she promptly threw in the garbage after we read the ingredients together. She's pretty darn amazing and I told her so. At my cousins yesterday the eggs were filled with peanuts in the shell and dimes, quarters, nickels all of which Savana said they'll use to buy candy lol.

    Liz, I am so sorry your dbf did that. Sounds like something mine would do. I will tell you when things got better (still not perfect or anywhere close) for us. I stopped giving a ****. When I make plans for the kids I stop expecting him to come. I will let him know we are doing it and that's it. If he doesn't want to come, fine by me. If he decides to come begrudgingly, I tell him he can't come. Because when he comes that way, like he's doing us a favor by gracing us with his presence, he acts like a spoiled child and I have to accomodate his needs and work to keep him happy and I just do not have the energy for that. Everytime you do it alone it will get a little easier. Well, then sometime it will be a total disaster lol but that's with or without him, likely. Anyway, now that I do things that way he actually comes with us a lot more than he used to. So it's just me and the kids a lot and I have learned to embrace that instead of feel bitter about it. How lucky I am to be able to enjoy these moments with my children and sad for him that he will never get these years back no matter how much he regrets sitting his arse at home instead of coming with us. And I know that someday he will.

    I can I also give a huge heathen AMEN to the eternal question of WHY people need to comment on the way other people raise their children. So maddening!

    Something happened this weekend to make me know that it will not be very soon that I feel confident enought to leave dbf alone with all 3 children. I don't feel like writing it out because I am still very shaken up by it but it solidified my hesitation to do so. It goes beyond just laziness or anything like that. It's like some major A.D.D
    or absent mindedness...I don't know. He felt terrible but had the situation gone differently, had I not walked outside when I did.....

    Mandy, are you taking a little break? I hope you're ok. You have been in my thoughts almost constantly.

  4. #30544
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    I'm here. I slept in this morning and then when I did get to the computer it took me forever to read through this thread. I'm dealing - I'm very upset but I have today off of work (my last day of Spring Break which for some reason is Thurs-Mon). I'm glad I have the time off but pissed that once again, another vacation is spent dealing with loss and my emotions. It's getting really old.

    DH and I had talked about having him call the doctor today and ask for a blood test. He had a martial arts class this morning and just got home, and now he is asking me what I want him to say to the doctor - so I guess he is still planning to call himself, which I really appreciate. I have a tendency to not ask questions but DH will just come straight out and ask. So we have to sit down and talk about what it is we want to say, exactly.

    Liz, I'm so sorry about the whole situation with Remy's birthday. I feel really sorry that your DBF is so distanced from his children's lives. You will make the right choice for your family, but I know you can do it alone if that's what it takes.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  5. #30545
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    Bridget, whatever happened sounds frightening.

    All the discussions about doing things with the kids alone made me think of my aunt Cheryl. She was a single mom of four, then took my brother and I on whenever my mother couldn't take care of us. For nearly 10 years, that was nearly 50% of the time. She took us places too...zoos, parks,swimming,etc. 6 kids all alone all the time. I don't know how she did it.

  6. #30546
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    Bridget, I'm so sorry. I hope you are all okay.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  7. #30547
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    Bridget, whatever happened sounds scary-I'm sorry

    Mandy I thought about you all weekend and I wish I had something beautiful and encouraging to say, but alas I am no good in that regard. I wish there was more, but all I can do is offer you some virtual and say that I am so incredibly sorry

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  8. #30548

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    Oh Mandy, I so wished for a different outcome.

    Kate, sorry about the pneumonia. I had it once and it completely wiped me out, I have never been so sick in my life.

    Liz, I am so mad at your dbf, I feel so badly for your kiddos. Poor Remy. I hope you guys had a good time despite it all.

    We had a nice Easter, we all gathered at my sister's house. She always goes overboard with junk food and candy at holidays, ugh. Of course G didn't eat dinner because he was full from cheetos and jelly beans, and fruit, he did eat a bunch of fruit. It really makes me twitch, and I do talk to G about healthy eating habits, but eh. He's not as conscientious as Savana! He had fun playing with his older cousins and baby cousin.

    Sorry Bridget, whatever it was.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  9. #30549

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    I'm sorry something happened Bridget I hope you are all okay!I don't have pneumonia, they called me back and said the x ray was negative. I guess it's just a bad cold. I called work and said I'd be back tomorrow. I don't feel right skipping work to sit at home when all I really have to do is sit in a van. I got some different meds that are supposed to be more effective, so we'll see.I'm a big wimp when I get sick, which thankfully isn't very often.Mandy, I think it's really sweet that your DH is so involved. I'm sorry there isn't better news but I'm so glad your DH is so supportive.
    Last edited by daylilies; 04-09-2012 at 02:44 PM.

  10. #30550

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    Augh, I went to edit the stupid hug shortcut thing and it screwed up the formatting. I know how to do paragraphs, I swear.

  11. #30551
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    Bridget, I'm sorry something so frightening happened this weekend. (hugs)

    Mandy, you've been in my thoughts all this weekend....I hope your doctor now has a plan of action for next time that you get your BFP...(continuing to send hugs to both you and your DH!)

  12. #30552
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    Bridget, I've tried doing that. Honestly, that's how it's been for the most part since we've been together, but slowly and slow it's because the majority instead of just "sometimes." So basically anymore he just doesn't come with us places. Hardly ever. I stopped feeling bad about it for ME, but instead I feel bad about it for Remy. Because he is going to grow up (has already) wondering where his daddy was all these times he should have been there. My dad was never even WITH my mom, so I too know the feeling. But at least when I was a kid, I knew mommy and "daddy" weren't together and that's why he wasn't around. This is a bit different because daddy is in plain sight, well, in the house, and Remy know perfectly well where to find him when he wants to see him, though he often gets shooed away or put in front of a screen. So anyways, typing it all out fills me with this weird dread. Like there is a finality about it somehow. Like this is how he is. No sugar coating it. Wheras IRL I tend to keep my mouth shut and ignore all the BS I put up with.

    And because I'm gonna try and move on from this drama. I want to send to you too Bridget. I don't know what happened with your dbf and the kids, but I'm glad everyone is ok. I've only gone out a couple times leaving both kids with him, and both times were under 30 minutes.

    Also, big to you Mandy. (Though I still want to call you Gwenn because of your user name) I was positive I'd be greeted with good news when I got home. I'm still rooting for you. One day soon you will get your BFP and it will be glorious. Any idea what the next step is? I'm sorry I haven't followed your journey so closely.

    **Lizzo**

  13. #30553
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    Kate, I'm glad it's not pneumonia. Feel better.

    Right now the plan is to skip a month (mostly for financial reasons) and try again in May. Meantime we want to see about having another sit-down office visit with the doctor.

    I really did think this month was it. I didn't share on here, but I was even having pregnancy dreams. I dreamed I had a little boy named Ethan - no idea where that name even came from as it isn't one we were thinking about. So it's even worse in a way to know I was right but it still didn't work.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 04-09-2012 at 03:43 PM.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  14. #30554

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    Mandy It's just not fair.

  15. #30555

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    Damm right it isn't.

  16. #30556

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    Kate, hooray for not having pneumonia. That would have totally slowed you down and been a drag.

    Mandy, I don't really have the right words to convey the sense of sadness - but hope too - that I feel for you at this moment. I just feel you are so deserving of a BFP, and your child would be so deserving of you. You've already got a wonderful mama inside of you.

  17. #30557

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    Oh yeah, and Bridget, whenever you feel like sharing, please go ahead. We're all here to support you.

  18. #30558
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    Quote Originally Posted by Inca View Post
    So anyways, typing it all out fills me with this weird dread. Like there is a finality about it somehow. Like this is how he is. No sugar coating it. Wheras IRL I tend to keep my mouth shut and ignore all the BS I put up with.
    For me, putting it out in the forum for the first time made the reality more striking for me. I went with the flow for a long time and even though some of what was going on was pretty bad, it didn't feel that bad at the time. Looking back, it's almost horrifying. If it were anyone else, I'd be asking them, "How can you stay with someone like that?" Anyway, that's how I felt when I first started admitting some things about what was going on with my dh at home. Not that he's a bad guy either...or that I'm a perfect woman. You I think you kwim.

    Mandy, I agree with Myles. My heart simply aches for you and I'm absolutely inadequate in expressing how I really feel. I want so bad for you to get a bfp, as we all do.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  19. #30559

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    Liz and Mandy - big hugs.

    Kate - feel better.

    Bridget - I have had things like that happen that are so potentially scary that you don't even want to see it written.

    I'm tired. We had my in-laws in town over the weekend and I was sick as a dog the whole time. I had my final class and two dinner parties and none of it could be rescheduled because I was sick, so I had to just do it. I hate being sick while having to do social things where I have to chat and care about other people. I'm terrible at being sick.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  20. #30560

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    I'm the same way Katy. Sorry you're sick too

    My dad e mailed me this morning and reported that he needs his shoulder joints replaced. Apparently he has no more cartilage there and it's causing him great pain. They want to do one at a time, because the recovery time is so great (3 months) it would be agony to do both at once. He wants to get a second opinion and if he gets the go ahead he wants to do one this summer.

    My mother's boyfriend, I don't remember if I mentioned, went to the hospital a couple weeks ago for a ruptured arm muscle. The rupture was causing enzymes to be released that were hurting his kidneys so he was in the hospital for 10 days while they flushed out his system and tried to figure out what happened. They still don't know, but he's home now.

  21. #30561
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    Oh Katy, I don't know how you did it! I was sick over Easter too and I'm afraid I was rude and went to lay down while my mom & brother were here. I just couldn't stay sitting up while feeling so sick.

    I hope both your mother's bf and your dad heal fast. That does sound painful. Eek.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  22. #30562

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    Boy, I missed a lot. Yesterday was so crazy at work that I couldn't even log on.
    Liz, I'm so sorry that DBF is being such a douche. Poor Remy I wish there were some magic easy button to fix things.
    I'm sorry everyone has been sick, people all around me are horribly sick and I'm paranoid that I'm next.
    Mandy, I'm so, so sorry that this hasn't turned out like we all hoped. So frustrating and heart breaking. Hugs, mama.
    AKA Lisa724

  23. #30563
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    On a spur of the moment idea, I called my dr's office because I was starting to feel sick again and I thought it was kinda weird that just 2 weeks ago I had been vomiting without any other signs of sickness going on. She said my lymph nodes were swollen a lot and wondered how I didn't notice myself. While there wasn't any obvious sign of infection anywhere (no strep, ear infections, etc) she said my body was obviously trying to fight off something and offered a prescription for antibiotics. Normally I'd refuse, but I dunno...it's so strange for me to be sick like that so I accepted them. Ironically, the most common side effect is nausea and vomiting. Now I don't know if I want to take them or not.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  24. #30564
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    I'd probably take them, Chrissy, since they'll help you fight off whatever infection you've got going on.

    I hope everyone is having a good Tuesday. We went to a soft play place today with the cousins and friends from school and had a really good time. I'm off to zumba tonight as this is my 2nd to last week until we go on the cruise and I'm trying to do 2 full weeks of a clean diet and lots of exercise to gear up for all the calories I'm about to consume while on vacation!

  25. #30565

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    Chrissy I hope you feel better soon.

    And Bridget hugs to you. I am glad all of you are okay. Even though my DH is a douche, I never worry about him with the kids. Honestly, he watches them like a hawk and much better than I do most of the time. I am more what some consider a "free range" sort of parent and he is a hover-er most of the time, except when he has had a few drinks but even then he will make them sit in the room with him and watch cartoons while he sleeps and tell them they cannot move from the bed LOL.

    Erin

  26. #30566

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    Josh just went to the fridge and brought me a hard cider-"Would you like to have one of these?" Do I look like I'm having that bad a day?

  27. #30567
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I'm the same way Katy. Sorry you're sick too

    My dad e mailed me this morning and reported that he needs his shoulder joints replaced. Apparently he has no more cartilage there and it's causing him great pain. They want to do one at a time, because the recovery time is so great (3 months) it would be agony to do both at once. He wants to get a second opinion and if he gets the go ahead he wants to do one this summer.

    My mother's boyfriend, I don't remember if I mentioned, went to the hospital a couple weeks ago for a ruptured arm muscle. The rupture was causing enzymes to be released that were hurting his kidneys so he was in the hospital for 10 days while they flushed out his system and tried to figure out what happened. They still don't know, but he's home now.
    Many to your dad!! Scary!

    I was told some years ago, that I have insufficient cartilage in both knees. Not very good news to tell a teenager My dad has the same issue with his shoulders, so I guess it's one of those weird family attributes The thought of having a knee replacement scares me.... My knees have been giving me SO much pain over the past month and a half that I about cry every time I stand up... I've been scared to go to the doctor though I'm counting on it being inflammation ( and have been taking an ibuprofen daily to try to alleviate it....
    Last edited by Smplyme89; 04-10-2012 at 08:47 AM.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  28. #30568
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Josh just went to the fridge and brought me a hard cider-"Would you like to have one of these?" Do I look like I'm having that bad a day?
    Awww!!! He knows his mama!

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  29. #30569

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    Lol Josh!
    Erin, I almost think he forgets about it. He starts doing something else and loses track of the fact he's supposed to be watching the kids. Me, I can do other things and I know the second something is "off". It's like that mommy sense I guess. I knew when Sawyer was outside with him that something was not right because he'd been pushing the little bike around so I could hear that bike and then I couldn't anymore and I knew to go see and sure enough I was right. Savana and Kai were both very cautious babies/toddlers and they stayed by us. Not so with Sawyer. He is off like a shot. He'll give us a run for our money. I just hope that what happened this weekend was enough of a scare for dbf to be careful.

  30. #30570

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    Awww!!! He knows his mama!
    What are you implying?

    Bridget, thank goodness for that sixth sense we moms (and some lucky dads) have!

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