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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #30481
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Nope. He says he thinks it's just a "regular" chemical. I've worried for a long time that my problem was not getting pregnant, but staying pregnant, and I asked him specifically about my lining, etc and he said he really did not see a need for me to be worried about it. Now I'm concerned that maybe we have a genetic issue.
    When do you see him again? If you have another chemical, does he have another course of action to try?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Poor Syd. Good luck. That does seem like an extremely specific reason to take anxiety meds if that's the only thing she worries about. Does she get anxious about other things?
    Not really. I mean, she did freak out on the plane the first time we took off. She screamed at the top of her lungs, "I waaannnntttt mmyyyyy Daaadddddyyyyy!!!" all the way down the runway, I swear to god. As soon as the wheels lifted off the ground, she kind of sighed and went, "wow" and everyone laughed. Poor girl. She giggled too...but other than that, no she doesn't seem to get anxious about things.

    Initially she had trouble immediately after we moved and the whole 3 years we lived in that other town she couldn't stay over at any friend's houses. Not that she tried much after failed 3-4 times. She'd get anxious, throw up and call us to come get her. After the 3rd or 4th time she quit trying so I was never sure if it was just a phase (she was 10) because we moved from the only home she ever knew or if it was a real issue or not. I guess we'll find out tonight (?).

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  2. #30482
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    Quote Originally Posted by AbbeysMom View Post
    Are you thinking about doing genetic testing on you and your DH? I can't remember, were you ever tester for MTHFR? Or maybe it is the lining... I don't really understand why that's not a concern since that could definitely be a reason for early loss, but IDK. I hate that he was right so I might just be mad at your doctor our of misplaced anger.
    I have MTHFR - I have not been tested but both of my parents were after my cousin died and we later realized MTHFR was a factor. Both my parents are homozygous (two copies) so I'm certain I have it. I'm on extra folic acid (2000 mcg). I did ask DH about doing genetic testing yesterday.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  3. #30483
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    I know you've explained it before, but what is MTHFR?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #30484

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    Are you on baby aspirin too?



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  5. #30485
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    It's a gene that can cause an issue with blood clotting. It caused my cousin's death by pulmonary embolism (blood clot between the heart and the lungs). Pregnancy hormones can complicate it, actually my cousin had recently started birth control pills which is likely the reason she died. I've read that it can lead to early miscarriage but for some reason my RE doesn't seem super concerned about it.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  6. #30486
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    Quote Originally Posted by AbbeysMom View Post
    Are you on baby aspirin too?
    I am not - doctor said to take it if I was travelling by plane but otherwise he said I didn't need it.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  7. #30487

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    One other thing, I've heard that Folic Acid isn't helpful for MTHFR, but Folate is helpful:

    "folic acid is NOT particularly helpful if you have MTHFR- you need folate. Specifically you need l-methylfolate, which is a form your body can use because with MTHFR you have problems converting folic acid to a usable form for fetal development."

    Found this link too, for a prenatal with folate for women with MTHFR.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  8. #30488
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    Quote Originally Posted by AbbeysMom View Post
    One other thing, I've heard that Folic Acid isn't helpful for MTHFR, but Folate is helpful:

    "folic acid is NOT particularly helpful if you have MTHFR- you need folate. Specifically you need l-methylfolate, which is a form your body can use because with MTHFR you have problems converting folic acid to a usable form for fetal development."

    Found this link too, for a prenatal with folate for women with MTHFR.
    I did not know this. Thank you.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  9. #30489
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    I can't open that link ... It's doing something funky? It keeps putting an "m" in front of the address, over and over, in a growing line.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  10. #30490
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    I copied it for you, but I didn't have time to read it and I don't know anything about it:

    NéevoDHA® with Folate
    (Nature’s Folic Acid) for Pregnancy

    Néevo® and NéevoDHA® are medical foods for use only under medical supervision for the dietary management of impaired metabolic processes in women under a doctor’s care who face high to intermediate risk pregnancies and are unable to fully metabolize or absorb folic acid.

    The ingredient that makes Néevo® and NéevoDHA® unique is the inclusion of L-methylfolate: nature’s active form of folate as found in leafy green foods. L-methylfolate is superior to synthetic folic acid in many ways*:

    L-methylfolate increases RBC folate concentrations more effectively than folic acid.
    L-methylfolate reduces homocysteine more effectively than folic acid.
    L-methylfolate is 7 times more bioavailable than folic acid.
    L-methylfolate bypasses the C677T MTHFR polymorphism. Folic acid does not.
    I am so, so sorry. I do not want your doctor to be right.

    On the other hand, if he is right, and was right from the beginning, on the very tiny positive side, it is good to have a doctor who knows what he is talking about.


  11. #30491

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    Mandy, I'm so sorry to hear that you're spotting and feeling discouraged. Hang in there, friend!

  12. #30492
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    I am so, so sorry. I do not want your doctor to be right.

    On the other hand, if he is right, and was right from the beginning, on the very tiny positive side, it is good to have a doctor who knows what he is talking about.
    That is pretty much the only positive at the moment.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  13. #30493

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    Hugs to you, Mandy. Although I just don't feel those words are sufficient. I know this will happen for you. I just wish the journey was no so gd heartwrenching. We all care for you so much.

  14. #30494
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    It's a gene that can cause an issue with blood clotting. It caused my cousin's death by pulmonary embolism (blood clot between the heart and the lungs). Pregnancy hormones can complicate it, actually my cousin had recently started birth control pills which is likely the reason she died. I've read that it can lead to early miscarriage but for some reason my RE doesn't seem super concerned about it.
    That's right, I should have remembered that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Hugs to you, Mandy. Although I just don't feel those words are sufficient. I know this will happen for you. I just wish the journey was no so gd heartwrenching. We all care for you so much.
    Agreed.


    Happy Easter everyone.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  15. #30495

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    Hugs Mandy.

    Chrissy, I'm sorry Syd is dealing with that. I do not think she should have to take meds for that one specific thing. Is there something she can do or take right before going over for a sleepover? You could look into meditation, or breathing exercises, which are things she can do even if she's already at someone's house and is feeling nervous.

  16. #30496
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    She made it all night!!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  17. #30497
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    Go, Syd! That's great.

    Thank you for all your support, everyone. It's crazy how much your friendship means to me, especially in times like this.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  18. #30498

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    Yay Chrissy!

  19. #30499

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    If there is anyone in here not following my STC thread, I'm spotting. I blame the doctor.
    I'm sorry, hon.

    2/09 6/09 4/14

  20. #30500

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    Oh Mandy, so sorry that this was not it for you. I don't know much about MTHFR but when I was TTC Elle I do remember some ladies in TTC saying they took a daily baby aspirin but I am not certain the reason for it.

    Regardless hugs to you and your DH and I also feel that it will happen for you. I feel it will be this year. I would also speak to your doctor though about your concerns regarding MTHFR and early loss and see if he/she can look further into it since you really think it is not so much an issue with getting PG but staying PG. Is there any way you could get a second opinion regarding this? I just feel so frustrated by your doctor's response and I know you probably are just frustrated by the whole situation.

    Erin

  21. #30501
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    I'm so sorry, Mandy. I'm with Erin on seeking a second opinion. Although I liked what you have said about him in the past, I'm not sure I'm liking what I've heard more recently.

  22. #30502
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    There are two RE's in my city. He is the one who came most highly recommended.

    I actually do respect his opinion, although I don't always 100% agree with him. DH and I talked about it and it seems like the doctor is a numbers guy - he pretty much goes with whatever statistics say is most likely. For example, he told me with three egg follicles I had a 5% chance of twins and a negligible chance of triplets. I PM'd Katrina to ask how many follies she had when she conceived the triplets, and she had 3. She did pretty much the exact same meds/protocol I did that cycle, and she said she really thinks my chances of twins was more like 10% and she knows several moms of triplets through her multiples board who were Clomid babies. So I think he minimizes what is statistically unlikely - and I suppose with an HCG of 5, chances of carrying to term probably were more unlikely than not. If that makes any sense. As far as MTHFR, I thought it was known to contribute to early miscarriage but from reading up on it, there are differences of opinions on that between doctors and the issue isn't really settled. I suspect he is just going with what his research says.

    It's frustrating, but honestly I was trained to look at stats and probability in making my own treatment decisions, too. I don't minimize the way I think he is doing, but I go with what is most likely given all the factors in front of me. I can't really fault him for doing what I would do in his shoes. It just sucks.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 04-08-2012 at 06:10 PM.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  23. #30503

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    I'm feeling bad. I got testy with Savana today. We went to my cousins for lunch. She knows my cousin very well, and her husband and then it was my dad, brother, my cousins stepkids (who we know well) and one girl that was a friend of the stepdaughter. So only that girl Savana didn't know. She wouldn't come inside the house! She kept on saying she was scared and that she didn't want to talk to all those weird people. Ugh. She has been doing stuff like this lately. Like we went to the homeschool group and she kepttelling me that one of the girls was a bully. I was trying to ask her why discreetly but she could not (and has not since then) been able to give me a reason. On the way home from the park I told her that just because someone does or says something she does not like doesn't mean we get to put a label on them. Just like I don't every call children naughty or bad in our school.
    Okay, so back to my cousins. It was difficult because I couldn't leave her outside alone obviously and everyone was sitting down to eat, and everyone wanted to say hello. They had prepared all sorts of wonderful things for the children, an easter egg hunt, etc. It wasn't like everyone bombarded us or anything so I do not know why she was acting like that. She kept saying she was scared and not coming in and when I finally got her to come in she stood in the corner and glared and was frankly quite rude. I was embarassed of my child's behaviror I think for the first time ever! Finally I asked her to talk to me in the bedroom and I told her that if she was going to continue to act this way that her and I were going to leave. I told her she needed to make a choice to be friendly and kind or leave so she sort of stomped away saying FINE. Then she was better but still took lost of coaxing from everyone before she started acting like herself.
    Totally attention seeking or what? I feel like I wasn't very sensitive and hope she was not really afraid but why would she be? All morning she'd been asking me when we were leaving and who would be there and it was just very strange behavior.

  24. #30504

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    I'm feeling bad. I got testy with Savana today. We went to my cousins for lunch. She knows my cousin very well, and her husband and then it was my dad, brother, my cousins stepkids (who we know well) and one girl that was a friend of the stepdaughter. So only that girl Savana didn't know. She wouldn't come inside the house! She kept on saying she was scared and that she didn't want to talk to all those weird people. Ugh. She has been doing stuff like this lately. Like we went to the homeschool group and she kepttelling me that one of the girls was a bully. I was trying to ask her why discreetly but she could not (and has not since then) been able to give me a reason. On the way home from the park I told her that just because someone does or says something she does not like doesn't mean we get to put a label on them. Just like I don't every call children naughty or bad in our school.
    Okay, so back to my cousins. It was difficult because I couldn't leave her outside alone obviously and everyone was sitting down to eat, and everyone wanted to say hello. They had prepared all sorts of wonderful things for the children, an easter egg hunt, etc. It wasn't like everyone bombarded us or anything so I do not know why she was acting like that. She kept saying she was scared and not coming in and when I finally got her to come in she stood in the corner and glared and was frankly quite rude. I was embarassed of my child's behaviror I think for the first time ever! Finally I asked her to talk to me in the bedroom and I told her that if she was going to continue to act this way that her and I were going to leave. I told her she needed to make a choice to be friendly and kind or leave so she sort of stomped away saying FINE. Then she was better but still took lost of coaxing from everyone before she started acting like herself.
    Totally attention seeking or what? I feel like I wasn't very sensitive and hope she was not really afraid but why would she be? All morning she'd been asking me when we were leaving and who would be there and it was just very strange behavior.
    You can probably guess that I think it's just part of her overall anxiety issues, but I also think by pushing her forward you did exactly the right thing. IMO a lot of what people label "attention seeking" in kiddos is actually just kids acting out on their emotions, which are generally more intense and shorter lived than an adults.

    I have to say, if this is the first time you've been embarrassed by your kiddos, you're doing awesome! I love Abbey to pieces but half the time she is a walking social faux pas... just today she asked a very heavy man with a big belly if he was pregnant like mommy. I tried to cover for her and said "Oh, she says that to everyone because I'm pregnant," but then she corrected me and said "No mommy, his belly is really big. Something's in there." Yikes.
    Last edited by AbbeysMom; 04-08-2012 at 08:24 PM.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  25. #30505

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    There are two RE's in my city. He is the one who came most highly recommended.

    I actually do respect his opinion, although I don't always 100% agree with him. DH and I talked about it and it seems like the doctor is a numbers guy - he pretty much goes with whatever statistics say is most likely. For example, he told me with three egg follicles I had a 5% chance of twins and a negligible chance of triplets. I PM'd Katrina to ask how many follies she had when she conceived the triplets, and she had 3. She did pretty much the exact same meds/protocol I did that cycle, and she said she really thinks my chances of twins was more like 10% and she knows several moms of triplets through her multiples board who were Clomid babies. So I think he minimizes what is statistically unlikely - and I suppose with an HCG of 5, chances of carrying to term probably were more unlikely than not. If that makes any sense. As far as MTHFR, I thought it was known to contribute to early miscarriage but from reading up on it, there are differences of opinions on that between doctors and the issue isn't really settled. I suspect he is just going with what his research says.

    It's frustrating, but honestly I was trained to look at stats and probability in making my own treatment decisions, too. I don't minimize the way I think he is doing, but I go with what is most likely given all the factors in front of me. I can't really fault him for doing what I would do in his shoes. It just sucks.
    Honestly, there's a lot to be said for a doctor who doesn't mince words and will be straightforward with what he/she thinks is happening too... but my personal preference is a doctor who will listen to my opinion to and not discount where I'm coming from too. I think I ranted on here about my undiagnosed infection, in which case I practically haunted my doctor asking for an antibiotic and was told it was unnecessary. I'm not a proponent of unnecessary abx and she made me feel like a hypochondriac. Then I found out weeks later I was right. Didn't exactly enhance my already shaky faith in most doctors.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  26. #30506
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    Mira didn't take a nap today, and was pitching all kinds of fits about going to sleep tonight. Then she tells me, 'Go away, Mama. I go live with ardillas (squirrels)'. WTF?

  27. #30507

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    Thanks Molly and I'm sorry but I lol'ed at your Abbey story.

  28. #30508

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Thanks Molly and I'm sorry but I lol'ed at your Abbey story.

    I did too!!! Abbey is hilarious!! I feel kind of bad for the guy with something in his belly though.

    Erin

  29. #30509
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    Abbey! That's great!!

    Bridget, she probably was feeling anxious or just out of sorts. We all get in bad moods sometimes and kids have a harder time expressing themselves.

    I was sick yesterday. I kept feeling nauseous all day long and finally in the evening I blew chunks I continued feeling overwhelmingly nauseous until late in the night and didn't know whether I'd be going to work today or not. When the alarm went off this morning, I felt better that way, except my stomach was gurgling like I might have diarrhea so I opted to stay home. It didn't happen, but the day isn't over yet.

    I feel bad for Rich. He handled everything with the kids, dinner, etc yesterday. He picked my mom up, went and got Sydney and her friend. And still managed to clean the house and have a good dinner for everyone. A dinner that I didn't get to eat

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  30. #30510
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    Vent alert...

    So yesterday was Remy's birthday. A month ago I booked a hotel and a rental car for 2 days so we could drive to chicago, go to the zoo and the aquarium. Well dbf was being a .. well... you get the picture... and said he wasn't going. Well since I'm not 25, they were going to charge me 30 extra per day for the car (on top of the 30 per day I already paid to reserve the car ahead of time). So I drove my old beater 3 hours there and 3 hours back, hoping to some higher power it didn't break down. So yeah, I took my 2 kids, by myself to Chicago, for Remy's birthday. I am beyyyyyonnnnnd annoyed with dbf. Probably a lot more than annoyed. And also, sad for Remy. His dumb daddy didn't even tell him happy birthday when we got home. I think he didn't say anything just to spite ME. Which is completely childish. I think I'm nearing done with him. Just wish I knew how I will be able to do it on my own. I don't make enough to cover all the bills myself, possibly having to uproot my daycare to another location and hope it's close enough to my current place that the families will stick with me. Not to mention the worst part, I know that when/if we split, he'll never come around for the kids unless I force him to. JUST because he is THAT stubborn. He's told me before that we'll (me and the kids) "never see him again." Meaning he plans to take off somewhere. Makes my heart hurt.

    **Lizzo**

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