Hon, none of this is your fault. None of it. The way he talks to you, Remy's speech problems, none of it is you.
Hon, none of this is your fault. None of it. The way he talks to you, Remy's speech problems, none of it is you.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
And I'm not entirely convinced I have add anyways. Some symptoms fit and some don't. So for him to throw it in my face like it's a horrible thing to have is frustrating and makes me not want to ask a doctor about it anyways. Just like he won't even discuss with me the possibility of something being off with Remy, though he notices the signs I do. He'll even go so far as to say "Where did he LEARN this behaviour" (for example, pushing the daycare children) and it's like COME ON, kids don't have to see something for them to do it themselves. Why else would some kids bite? They don't see people biting other people it is an impulse that they act on, a way to act on their feelings and frustrations.:-\
**Lizzo**
Thanks Gwenn. I keep all of this bottled up, and every once in a while it just bubbles up to the surface where I have bad days. I tend to ignore all the issues we have. Then I sit on the computer to avoid confrontation with him. And he wonders why I sit here. It's because I don't want to get into a confrontation with him, (which is inevitable anyways)
**Lizzo**
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Originally Posted by Inca
Yelling isn't necessary. No one wins when someone yells. I doubt Remy's troubles are because of you. It's natural for a mama to blame herself though. A good mama always doubts herself. So when you feel doubts, tell yourself no, that's not true but recognize that you're a great, wonderful, loving mama.
I have a splitting headache. Not a migraine (thank god!) but bad enough that I can barely deal with anything right now. Conner is on his computer and screaming at it. This high pitched shrieking that is stabbing right through my brain. I know I should get him away from it, but his temper tantrum will get worse and I'm afraid the noise/battle will make me cry. Rich will be home in 20 minutes. It can't get here fast enough.
Oh-Larry the Cable Guy was so funny last night I laughed till I cried. And no wet pants!! (I can't remember if I posted about this or not. Sorry if I'm repeating myself. It's one of those days) He made a few jokes that I wasn't fond of, but I reminded myself "Know your audience" and all that. The crowd, of course, loved them. He called Al Gore a d-i-c-k, mocked global warming and evolution, and picked on smart cars. At the end of his show he said if anyone was sitting there offended by anything he said, they should go home and end it right now because the show was only meant for laughs and a good time.I'm glad I didn't get truly upset about those jokes!! lol
ps-I cannot believe we cannot say my father-in-law's name on this pregnancy board!! (It is, after all, a common nickname for Richard)
Last edited by missychrissy; 03-31-2012 at 10:13 AM.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
I'm gonna be a Gramama!
I'm sorry.I have no idea if Abbey will go to preschool this fall, partly because I don't trust the schools around here to actually teach her, and partly because she acts completely different in the care of someone else (defiant, ignores authority, won't communicate). Meanwhile she is happy and playful home with me... or more accurately, out on playdates with me, since we leave the house everyday. It helped my decision that the acedemic-orieted preschool proudly proclaimed that Abbey would be able to write her own name by the end of her first year with them, when she can already do that now.
Everyone except DH says I'm crazy to not put her in preschool when I have a newborn, since that's just what people do here. I have a plan anyway: take the money we'd spend on preschool and hire a housekeeper to come once or twice a week, and a mother's helper (neighborhood tween or teenager) to come one or two afternoons a week too. That's some kind of break, and costs about the same as the preschools anyway (they're pricey). I'm also hoping I can exchange playdate care with a neighborhood mom.
So am I crazy?
lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010
I also feel like a jerk coming in her and venting off my problems to you (wonderful) ladies.
I also have a headache. Mine is just from thinking too much, paired with a bit of boo-hooing.
**Lizzo**
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Oh puh-leaze! You have surely been around here long enough to know that's all I do is vent and whine.I also feel like a jerk coming in her and venting off my problems to you (wonderful) ladies.
I also have a headache. Mine is just from thinking too much, paired with a bit of boo-hooing.
This is a wonderful place for support. I think this is probably the only area where many of us can really let it all out.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
It's true. I just feel guilty airing my dirty laundry. At least you all are cheaper than a therapist.
**Lizzo**
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It's true. I just feel guilty airing my dirty laundry. At least you all are cheaper than a therapist.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
Yeah I think it's just me not wanting to put it all out there on the internet.
**Lizzo**
Molly, I think keeping Abbey home and hiring some help is a great idea (and I'm jealous of the housekeeper!)
Liz, vent away. We all do more than our share in here. I can relate to feeling like I put too much out there sometimes, though.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
Liz, not sure if you have seen this but thought I would post anyway http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/adu...CTION=symptoms
Molly, I think it's a great idea to keep her at home and just keep doing the playdates and hire a teen to come help out. I loved babysitting as a teen, especially kids her age...gave me a chance to earn some money AND play and have fun. And a housekeeper is a great idea as well!
Jennifer, 34, DH 36
Welcome to the thread! It seems there are a few new people around here, so I thought I'd mention this thread since it's really helpful for me to get to know people in here:
http://americanpregnancy.org/forums/...t-in-this-room
L, I'm so sorry to hear about your sleep woes. Your mentioning putting the TV on made me chuckle a little because every time I mention any sleep trouble my boys have to my SIL, the first thing she says to me is, "Get them a TV for their room!" We only have one TV in our house and I don't think I'd ever have it any other way, so it makes me smile when she says things like that. She has 3 kids and they each have a TV with satellite and DVD players in their bedrooms. (Her kids are 4, 3 and 1). Obviously, it's worked for her, but I just don't like the idea of tv's in bedrooms. My kids do watch TV throughout the day, but it's in the livingroom where I can monitor what they're up to. I really really hope for your sake that Baby S grows out of this horrible sleep pattern for you soon. I'll send you virtual hugs in hopes for better things to come soon!
Mandy, I forgot to mention that tiredness was a big pregnancy symptom for me, too, but I had forgotten about that. Each time I've had a viable pregnancy, I can remember going to sleep at 7 and sleeping through til 7 the next morning a week or so before I got my BFP! Fingers crossed this is it for you!!!!!
Speaking of Titanic, (which I loved loved loved mostly because of Leo D) I could watch it again but I'm not a fan of 3D movies. There have been a lot of programs on tv about the Titanic lately since it will be 100 years since it sank in just a few weeks' time. We are actually sailing from Southampton, which is the very same port that the Titanic sailed from!!!! Eeek. A program I watched last night said that there were over 700 people from Southampton that died on the Titanic (mostly crewman) and that the Titanic actually killed 8 people before it even sailed (building accidents). I'll have to take some pictures of the memorials and things since we're going down early before we depart on our cruise. We're actually passing the house that Downton Abbey is filmed in as well, so I hope to get some pictures of that as well even though it's close for easter.
We went today and ordered Travis some prescription sunglasses; his choice was very limited since he is very far-sighted in his left eye, but I'm glad we sorted that out for him. He went to under 5's soccer practice today with DH. I think we'll keep sending him as I think he'll grow to enjoy it. DH said he was a little shy and didn't follow all of the directions, but I think with Travis, he just has to get used to the routine of things and people's personalities before he becomes comfortable with situations. I'm hyper-aware of him being quiet around other kids (he loves talking to adults but seems to have a hard time relating to kids) as I was the same as a child. For me, I wish I had had someone to guide me to help me in social situations but it seemed like people were happy to leave me as is and probably thought it would be cruel to push me in to certain social situations, but looking back, I wish they had. So, now I feel like we need to make sure that Travis can learn to cope in social interactions like playing soccer with a group of kids his age. We are also thinking of signing him up for karate and gymnastics, but we're doing one class at a time to see which he likes the most.
I feel like I've been very chatty in this last post as I have had a glass of wine (white zinfandel-my fave!) since the kids have gone to bed! They really wined the last 2 hours before bed time so I was so ready for a drink and some chocolate when they finally went off to sleep!
*And waving to Myles* (I hope you're back on APA soon!)
I wish I could be drinking some wine with you! I'm about to have a glass too. (And it's only 2pm here. *gasp* We took the kids for an early park trip and have been cleaning all day. Get this. Savana and Kai out of nowhere decided they wanted to move Kai's bed in with Savana. They are actually meant to go together. Kai's bed fits right under her loft. They (she) was very opposed to the idea before. I am excited if this means Kai will start sleeping in his bed. That means I can get back in mine and sidecar Sawyer, lose the futon mattress in our room which blocks my dresser drawers. Painin the arse.
Liz, I want to say that I think you will do the right thing for Remy and you should trust your gut and open the doors to resources for both of you. I really understand feeling scared to let go of being the only educator to your child. Just stay open, that's all I say. You will find you aren't giving up as much as you think. We are still the main influence in their lives. And nothing is set in stone. Life is everchanging. I tell myself this every day.
I would tell dbf that unless he wants to be proactive with ideas regarding Remy's behaviors that it is helpful to no one for him to point out the obvious or place blame. This is what I have tod mine. He used to make outrageous statements saying that Savana was bipolar and then I would say, "Wow, I can't believe you really think that and have done nothing to take steps to get her help. If I thought my daughter had a mental illness I'd not rest until I found a way tohelp her."
In other words, a nice tall glass of STFU
Oh, Iyou, Bridget.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
Yeah, but dbf is more like "Why isn't he talking more?" or my favorite "I saw so and so's kid who is only 3 and WOW he talks a lot better than Remy" or something like that. And then some days or weeks or whatever later I say "I am thinking of/ have made the call to get him another speech eval." and he goes "Why? I'm sure he's fine."Not to mention his mom is a nurse who thinks she knows it all so she's also on the "Oh he'll be just fine. Boys just take longer to talk than girls." or whatever. :-\ (And fwiw, if anyone is bipolar in our house it is dbf. He is more hormonal than a 16 year old girl)
**Lizzo**
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Me too! That was awesome Bridget!Oh, I
Bobbie and Conner were slow to talk. Jesi and Syd were both early talkers. All of them are bright kids and at least the girls don't have any disabilities. In fact, Bobbie grew to be very bright in English and languages (she taught herself Japanese).Yeah, but dbf is more like "Why isn't he talking more?" or my favorite "I saw so and so's kid who is only 3 and WOW he talks a lot better than Remy" or something like that. And then some days or weeks or whatever later I say "I am thinking of/ have made the call to get him another speech eval." and he goes "Why? I'm sure he's fine."
I'm not saying 'don't worry, there's nothing wrong' but just reminding you that even if he's delayed in speech, that doesn't have to mean there is something wrong. ((hugs)) I know nothing we say can really alleviate the worry. It would be nice if your dbf could be consistent and supportive though.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
Lydia, I feel your pain. We went through a period like that a few months back, where it was all out war come sleep time. Kicking, screaming, the works, for hours together. That stopped as suddenly as it appeared, and now we have kicking and screaming every couple of hours, all night long. I've kind of given up on trying to figure out why, and how to fix it. Just try to hang on long enough without completely losing my mind. This parenting stuff, not for the faint of heart.
Liz, you know your child and his needs better than anyone else. You WILL do the right thing.
My kids are freaking me out right now.
Kai slept up in Savana's loft bed instead of down in his bed but he stayed all night and I got out of bed at SEVEN and put my ear to the door and it was still quiet. This is huge. They are usually up at 6 saying they are hungry and thirsty. I got up, took a shower (I took a SHOWER in the MORNING) made breakfast and had to call them out of the room where they were awake but playing. They came out, at breakfast, and are back in there. It looks pretty cool in there with both beds and I know they are pretending it's a tree they live in. Kai,s bed underneath is the inside of the trunk.
I'm going to enjoy this while it lasts.
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It's funny that it's the little things that are so huge when you have kids!
Conner has recently started screaming in a high pitched screech. He's 5, but when he's doing this he reminds me of a two year old. I'm really at a loss. Ignoring it does not work. It escalates and will go on for over an hour. He's doing better about going potty, but now he's screaming. Ugh.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
It's always something, isn't it? I swear I do not think it ever get easier. It just changes. Luckily it changes at least.
I am all kinds of annoyed at dbf right now. I will just vent about a small portion of it. We needed groceries. He suggested I put Sawyer down for his nap and go alone. The store is a 40minute drive but Sawyer usually takes a 3 hour nap. He made a point to tell me several times I should just go there and back. I made a point to tell him several times to cook the burger in the fridge (the brown rice just needed to be watched, I already started it) so that he would have something ready for Sawyer to eat if/when he woke up. I even took Savana and Kai with me and still got a call as I was loading the groceries in the car that Sawyer was awake and fussy. I still have a 40 minute drive ahead of me. I get home to Sawyer crying sitting on dbf's lap who is on the computer. Soaking wet diaper. No food cooked. Dbf yammering on about how he tried everything.
It is not unreasonable for me to leave him with his 15month old son for 3 everloving hours...is it?
Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks?
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Bridget, how awesome is that?
Chrissy, sorry to hear about the screaming.
We did end up going to Monterey yesterday. DD woke up this morning and came over to me and gave me a big hug and said, "Mommy, I want to just thank you for taking me on such a fabulous adventure yesterday. I loved the aquarium and the playground and eating in the restaurant and everything." It was very sweet. I drove back and forth in pounding rain. We saw so many accidents. I think it took almost 3 hours to drive down there, and about the same to drive back, because it was raining so hard.
On the way back, we left close to bedtime. We changed everyone into their pajamas and pull-ups so they could fall asleep in the car without worry. DD stayed awake for a long time. She asked to stop to pee. In the pouring rain. I pulled off, and DH got out and helped her onto the potty (I love having a minivan!). About 20 minutes later she said she had to go again. It was raining even harder. DH said, "Really?" and sighed. She got out of her seat and grabbed a toy that she had dropped, and sat on the potty and then said, "Ooops, I guess I didn't need to go after all." We suspect that she was devious enough to claim that she needed to pee just for an excuse to get out of her car seat to get the toy that she dropped. I'm not sure whether to be annoyed or admiring or apprehensive.
Baby S. did not fall asleep. He kept commenting on how dark it was getting, and about half an hour away from our house he started the "MommyMommyMommyMommy" yelling he does when he is in his crib. I thought for sure he would fall asleep. He tends to sleep pretty easily in the car in the daytime. Instead, I think he had kind of a panic attack. I kept telling him I was right there. I reached back with one hand and patted him. DH talked to him. He started screaming. I reassured him. He paid no attention. He retched a few times. We barely salvaged the carseat by turning on the light in the car and starting a rousing rendition of "The Wheels on the Bus" and singing "The baby on the bus goes 'blargh blargh blargh'" until he started faintly giggling. So now I wonder if he has a fear of the dark or something, but there is a light on in the room at night.
On the drive down, DH told me he's been thinking about how I never ever have any time to do anything by myself ever, not for anything practical or for anything fun, and he thinks he should try to manage to take care of all three kids at some point on a weekend for a while so I can do something enjoyable just for myself, by myself or with friends. Between him saying that and the thought that the Prometrium is what has been making me cry all the time and I actually might stop feeling so awful after stopping it, I actually felt this tiny spark of hope that things might improve.
My sister asked me about going to see The Hunger Games with her and I had to tell her no. My friends at work were talking about taking a cooking class together on a Saturday put on by one of the high-end restaurants in San Francisco. As an afterthought, they asked me if I wanted to join them. They knew it was something I would love, but they also knew I would not be able to go, because I can never do anything social like that. It would be so cool to not have to just automatically say no to everything, but to actually be able to consider my options.
Our baby is 3 years old already!
Lydia, It was awesome! (I know you're referring to the kids sleep and play allmorning and not to dbf's lazy parenting.) I really hope your dh gives you that break. It certainly won't fix everything but wouldn't that be amazing? A weekend to yourself? I seriously just got tingles up my spine thinking of it. lol
Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks?
Hopelessly Devoted
It took me so long to write my post that you posted something else before I could hit reply.
I doubt I would get a whole weekend to myself. I don't know if it would even be a weekend day. Maybe a few hours. Whatever the case, I am going to order some carseats that will fit in his car so he can take all 3 kids in it. Maybe it won't even happen, or it won't happen soon at least--we're kind of booked up for the next few months. At the very least, I have hope now.
Our baby is 3 years old already!
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L, I really hope you get some time to yourself. It really does make a huge different. I was in NYC from Sunday am-Monday pm and I felt like a new person all week...even with the long drive there and back. It's starting to wear off now, but getting a break is therapeutic. We all know the 'experts' recommend it, but being a Mom makes it darn near impossible to get time alone.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
So, we went to a working farm (run by the parks department) today. Fun. We got to see animals, farm equipment, barrel racing, and the kid got to go on a carousel, a tractor ride and some play equipment. I asked the lady next to me how old her child was, and in return, she asked how old my SON was. When I told her that my daughter was 25 months, she went 'Really? That's a girl, huh?'.
I told DH after returning, and he goes 'Maybe we should dress her more like a girl. Not have her wear jeans and stuff'. WTF? I'm not about to change how I dress my kid on account of an idiot. I will admit to shopping both boy and girl clothes to add a little variety, and my priority in dressing her is comfort over looks, but her clothes are either girly or neutral. Today, she was wearing a green T-shirt with a Panda on it, and loose fitting blue jeans (a LOT of girl pants/jeans are skinny fit, and those do not work for her; she is chunky around her waist/bum/thighs, and shecan't really run, climb comfortably in those). I don't know why, but this is upsetting me more than it should.
Some people are idiots.
Oh, and one lady told me that my child listens to me beautifully.
Last edited by Suja; 04-01-2012 at 04:47 PM.
I just got back from the wedding shower (and, earlier that day we had the first class of that food thing at church)
Both went well. At church we talked about Passover and the foods they eat, and we made haroset, the mixture of apples, walnuts, cinnamon, honey and wine (we used grape juice). It came out so good. I got out of there kind of late and ended up at the shower at 1:30. A couple days ago the MOH ever so casually mentioned in an e mail that we should be there at 12:30 (after saying 1:00 was fine just a few days ago). The other BM's and members of the bride's family were there to help set up, so it wasn't bad that I was there late. The bride and groom had fun and everything went well.
I couldn't help but be a little judgy about the MOH's daughter who is 3 I think and was a little terror. She kept tearing into the gifts before the bride and groom could get to them and she was running off with brand new ladles and spoons and stuff. The MOH who I thought would be a little more strict just based on her personality just kind of rolled her eyes and let it go. Not a big deal really but just not something I would have let happen.
DH painted the radiator while I was gone and it reeks. Not helping my cough or my headache
Bridget, that is definitely not too much to ask. I will be screwed if Dh can't manage to take care of our baby for 8-9 hours...because I'm not going to stop working and will probably only take 6-8 weeks off. he's just going to have to learn.
That is cute how they were playing so great together! I loved bunk beds when I was a kid and building forts in them.
I just had my girls outside and I LOVE being able to have both them out there. Three times today we were out tossing toys and getting them running. And tonight while we were out there was an eagle flying overhead. We see them on a fairly regular basis. Would REALLY be happy if some bird would start eating the dam gophers. I have four mounds out back again and haven't seen the farmer planting yet. last year once the crops were in, they were eating those and stayed out of my yard. Poogie is doing great with the invisible fence...hears the beep and backs up or now stops before she gets that far and we don't even have the static corrections on that high. She's really a great little dog....hard to believe that I really had serious regret about getting her for a while there.
Jennifer, 34, DH 36
Glad all went well today, Kate.
Jennifer, sounds like a fun day with dogs. We never see eagles. I get excited about eagles.
We are on night 2 of Operation Shared Room:
new sleeping space 001.jpg
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Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
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