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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #44491
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    We had a great deal of the waaah if you do and waaah if you don't here tonight too. Different stated reasons though probably essentially the same internal drive.

  2. #44492
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Oh maybe I can help with ticker issues but probably not in the next three work days. Waaah.

  3. #44493

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    We had an upset at bedtime last night, but it was because we'd watched Despicable Me 2. She enjoyed it when we watched it (she loves the minions) but apparently there was a scene that, upon further reflection, was scaring the crap out of her. For those who've seen it, it's the scene where the bunny gets a shot and turns big, blue and mean. She was shaking and crying about it, said she couldn't get it out of her head. I tried everything -- "I'm sure the bunny was fine later." ("I don't think so!"), "Maybe the bunny didn't mind the poke (shot). Maybe it didn't even hurt." ("I think it did hurt. I think the bunny did mind!") and so on. She finally insisted that not only did I have to promise that she'd never have to watch the movie again, but that we would never buy it, and that we would send our netflix copy back right away. I actually had to get up, get the dvd, seal it in the envelope and put it in the mailbox before she could relax.
    Oh, and the kicker, after we'd resolved the dvd issue and she was calm and getting sleepy -- she whispered, 'Don't tell Daddy that I was scared about the bunny. You know how he gets worried."
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  4. #44494

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    She is just beyond precious.

  5. #44495
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    That is so sweet!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  6. #44496
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    This morning was BAD, BAD, BAD. She didn't want to go to school. She cried when I left. I stopped to talk to her old teacher, and could hear her still screaming. She attempted to leave the classroom, and her toddler teacher (who is fortunately, on a sabbatical and available to help), went to her, to help calm her down. I'm wondering if this teacher is not a good match for her. She is quite good, but not warm and nurturing, and that's kind of what Mira needs I feel - warm and nurturing. I'm really hoping that today's incident was because she could see my car and knew I had not left yet (in conjunction with a 4 day weekend), and it will help to have ballet day (tomorrow) and specials (Friday). I hate to see her so anxious.

  7. #44497

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    Ta-da! Ask and ye shall receive. I don't know what I did wrong last time / right this time, but I got it to work. Eek, it feels so real now!!

    Aw, sweet Noe!! What a darling.

    Suja, I'm so sorry things have been so rough with Mira!! Just remember, none of this is your fault, nor does it reflect poorly on you as a mom. I know so often us moms think it's something WE do or don't do, but it's a phase, and partly who she is. You are helping her, even if it feels like you're lost!

    THREE DAYS you guys. Holy crap. Are we really gonna go???



  8. #44498
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    I agree. Some kids are just more prone to worry. My sister was one. One thing a therapist had my sister do in grade school was to write down everything that was bothering her and worrying her but not to spend more than 10 minutes doing it. Once the time was up, she was to rip the paper up as much as she wanted. She found that really helpful. Of course while M is really advanced, I don't know that she can really do that just yet. But maybe instead she could verbalize it and have a worry box to put those thoughts in....or have you write it down and she can rip the paper?

    This is also a really good book...it's ages 6 and up but might be ok for her. There are others in this series and I had my mom get the what to do when your temper flares for my cousin (age 9) because he's got issues with that and my mom was really impressed with the book.

    http://www.amazon.com/What-When-You-...qid=1394206918

    Janet....LOVE the ticker.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  9. #44499

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    When I do deep breathing with Savana I try to have her put the worry in a bubble and watch it drift away.

  10. #44500

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    That's a good one, B! In my own struggles with anxiety I learned a thought exercise where I imagine the worry or the obsessive thought is on a piece of paper inside my head. I imagine crumpling it up and throwing it away. When I first started doing it, it wasn't very successful and I would have to crumple up the paper many times and forcefully redirect my thoughts. But now, after years of doing it, it works really well. It takes practice, but getting in control of your "bad" thoughts is totally doable. I had to work on it a lot with dd1, too. Lots of coaching on how to redirect.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  11. #44501

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    I also talk to her a lot how about she can actually control her brain. For example, she thinks she has to wash her hands after she touches her ear. She tells me, "I know I don't actually need to but I can't stop thinking about it and I HAVE to wash my hands. Mind you, when she gets in these patterns, her hands are literally raw from excessive hand washing. So I tell her those thoughts are not in control, she is. She needs to throw those thoughts in the garbage and every time she does toss those thoughts, she is training her brain to realize that it's ok to touch your ear and not wash your hands.
    That basic idea came from one of our OCD books, I believe.
    She gets like this every winter. We need to get this girl in a milder climate where she can be outside year round.

  12. #44502

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    Poor girl! You're doing her such a favor by helping her learn these things now. She'll really be ahead of her peers in self-awareness and self-control when she's older.

    Janet -- THREE DAYS? No way!! You must be so excited. I hope you and Maiya have a wonderful time.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  13. #44503

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    .
    Last edited by Krystal5; 03-09-2014 at 02:15 AM.



  14. #44504

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    I'm so sorry for all you all dealing with anxiety! I can't even imagine. I'm sorry I have no advice, but it sounds like great advice has been given. The only advice I have is, Bridget, come move out with us!!

    Thank you Jennifer! I'm actually starting to feel like we'll get a baby from this. We met some APA Mommas in Santa Cruz today, and I over did it a bit and was worried. But I checked with the Doppler, and had a nice strong heartbeat. A little higher than last time, but still within normal range. This baby seems good and strong! I'm starting to talk to Maiya about her being a big sister. I asked her if she wanted the guest bed, and the baby could have her bed, or if she wanted the baby to have the guest bed so she could keep hers. Know what my sweet girl said? "I want the baby and I to share a bed!"

    And today she asked if we would get a new car after Japan. I told her no, our car is fine, but we may get another one if this baby gets born. She was worried- "What car will the baby be in? I want to be in the same car as the baby!" Which lead to this:

    Me: You'll be such a good big sister!
    Hubby: Are we talking to her about being a big sister now? (He knows I've been very hesitant)
    Me: Ugggghhhh....
    Hubby: You sound upset.
    Me: Just scared.
    Maiya: Why are you scared?
    Me: Sometimes things in life are scary, but I'm trying to be brave.
    Maiya: What is scary?
    Me: Remember how I told you our last baby died? I'm scared this one might die, too. (This is not new info for her, we've talked about this a lot.)
    Maiya: Hmm... Well, I have a great name for our baby! We can name him Multicolored.

    So I don't know if that was her way of changing the subject, or her way of trying to make me feel better, but either way, I love our baby's name, hahah.

    But, along with maternity pants, I also bought Maiya her first baby-oriented book, about the pregnancy. "What to expect when Mommy's expecting", or something. It's cute. She hasn't read it yet, though, which is odd. I think she will when she's ready!

    Gretchen, only one day left!!! At least I'm FINALLY almost packed. Hopefully I'll finish tomorrow, haha. We don't need much for in Japan, but I have about $100 and 2 carry-ons worth of stuff to keep Maiya entertained on the airplane, haha. And a little tiny bit for me, too!
    Last edited by Krystal5; 03-09-2014 at 02:15 AM.



  15. #44505

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    Krystal, how is/was Japan?

  16. #44506

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    It was wonderful, thank you for asking!



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