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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #44431
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    LOL, yeah we do NOT like to say the words I don't know. Maybe a I'm not sure, let me see if I can find the answer is much more likely.
    Next time, ask at the referece desk....circulation staff tend to not know as much because their training is checking in and out. Even my assistant can do quite a bit of other questions because she's been at the library for so many years and with only three of us, we tend to cross over quite a bit in what we all do...but she still passes on quite a bit to my boss or myself. In most average sized libraries, staff tend to be more specialized in what they know.

    I do love that we have active busy libraries in WI. Good usage stats help justify budgets and funding.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  2. #44432
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    We have a grouchy librarian too. And it's just such a contrast to rest of them that she stick a out like a sore thumb. My heart sinks when she is at the counter. She acts as if my fines are a personal offense to her.
    OY! I have to admit that I usually pay them online, because I'm embarrassed to do it in person.

  3. #44433
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    We must all have libraries on the brain today (well, Jennifer must always have libraries on the brain ;) ).

    I found a list of books that were good targets for different speech sounds, so I was going through my students' sounds and looking to see if my library had any of the books. I was SO annoyed - for some reason, if I typed in the author's name first name + last name (Mercer Mayer) it would tell me that author wasn't in their collection. I didn't realize until NONE of the authors showed up in the database and it rejected "Dr. Seuss" and suggested I search for "Seuss, Dr." that you had to search for "Mayer, Mercer" and then it would find it. I get that's how the database is programmed - but jeesh. Google could figure it out if I typed Mercer Mayer. Get with the program, library. And then all the books were checked out or at different libraries (we have like 30 in my city and most of them I have no idea where they are). I did reserve a couple at the library I use, but didn't want to bother to do interlibrary loan for the rest because I really wasn't looking for any of the books in particular, just ONE of them. And I didn't want to wait weeks for them to come in because I was trying to use them for lessons later this week. Not sure this library thing is going to work out well for me.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  4. #44434
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    Yeah it's always last name, first name in the catalogs and databases because it's indexed and different from google. Some libraries are using web discovery tools....basically a google like simple search box but it's not as accurate as we already use. I'm personally not a fan....Google is great but when doing library searching I prefer to use more specific search tools.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  5. #44435

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    I felt so bad for our librarian the other day! I was looking for books at Maiya's level to explain how your body fights a cold. I couldn't find any, so I asked her, and we spent like an hour looking! Neither of us knew where to look. I finally found it, though, just randomly. She is now in love with the book "Your body battles a cold"!

    Though now I think I need to find one about fighting the flu...



  6. #44436
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krystal5 View Post
    Though now I think I need to find one about fighting the flu...
    The mechanism is essentially the same. Substitute 'Flu' for 'Cold', and VOILA! Book about how the body fights the flu

  7. #44437

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    Hah, very true! And she can't read, she'd never know.

    She cracks me up. LOVES everything medical related, knows more about how the immune system works and how to start healthy than some adults I know. We play doctor all the time and she gives excellent advice to all her "patients". Then does she take all that advice that she gives and reads in all her books?? Of course not.

    3 year olds!!

  8. #44438
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    That sounds just about right! I saw a human body puzzle yesterday, and thought of her. It's 100 pieces though, so probably not something almost 4 year olds can do without help.

  9. #44439
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    Hey, Janet! Sorry to hear you all have been sick. We were heading out to a playdate on Sunday and S. kept saying we were going to see Maiya. I corrected him over and over again, and finally told him that Maiya was sick and we couldn't see her. He said it didn't matter because they were twins. He said they were the same age, and they loved each other, so that made them twins, and they could share germs if they wanted (everyone in the car protested that statement, in more ways than one). Then everyone said we should go camping again sometime.

    Then, yesterday, S. said that Maiya came into his dreams the other night. He said that she was in a storm and he had to rescue her. He helped her and she was happy. My DH whispered that it was cute that he loves her so much. When he is asked if he has a friend, Maiya is the person he names.


  10. #44440
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    Do I spy a romance? Awww...
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  11. #44441

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    That is so sweet!

  12. #44442
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    OMG that is adorable. He's got great taste...she's a cutie pie!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  13. #44443
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    Awwww... they probably make an adorable set of twins!

  14. #44444

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    Aw, L, that is so sweet! I read that to Maiya, and she was laughing. The feeling is mutual! Though I think she kind of thinks of your kids as a package bunch- it's always, C, R, and S. She's never once told me about any dreams she's had, but she and I do tell stories, and she decides what they will be, and they still often involve your kids.

    By the way, Maiya is insisting that she is better now and so she CAN play. She is better, but I'm afraid my pink eye is still contagious!

    Suja, I bet Maiya would love that puzzle! She still likes my help for most things, hah.

    PS- Maiya just told me that she DOES dream about C and R and S. All of them!



  15. #44445

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    PS- she has spent the last almost two hours negotiating ways for her to play with them without me.

    "We can put my car seat in their car, and they can drive me there."

    "You can come and just cover your mouth." "But it's my eyes." "Oh. Then just close your eyes."

    "L can just watch me. Or their Grandma."

    "You can watch us all, and just be careful of your germs."

    "Are they going camping tomorrow? Maybe I can just go with them then."

  16. #44446
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    Mira had an accident in school yesterday. She apparently didn't pull her tights down low enough, and managed to pee on it, and the floor. Majorly traumatized. It's all she can talk about. Last night, she didn't want to sleep, because she was worried she would have an accident in bed. She got hysterical in school today, wanted me to pick her up, and I had to talk to her (she had resisted going to the bathroom, and got hysterical when she realized she would have to go in school, thinking she'll have another accident; she was fine once she did).

    "Mama, am I going to have an accident in school? I don't want to. I know I will" (tears)
    "Mama, I don't want to go to school. I don't want to have an accident there" (tears)
    "Mama, can you come with me to the bathroom in school? I might have an accident" (tears)
    And the latest, from right before she fell asleep: "I'm never wearing dresses to school again. I'll have an accident. I'm only wearing pants".

    Broke my heart. She LOVES her poofy clothes. She is so **** sensitive, on top of being a perfectionist. Kind of a deadly combination. I have no idea how to help her. Reassurance, logic, nothing seems to help.
    Last edited by Suja; 02-19-2014 at 10:05 PM.

  17. #44447
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    All ideas are welcome.

  18. #44448
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    I wish I could help. Could you maybe discuss a plan for how to prevent next time? Or talk about what to do if it happens again?

    Oddly, DH was telling me he went into a deli this afternoon and there was a father with several children. The little boy needed to use the bathroom and there was a key to enter and the owner couldn't locate the key, so the little boy couldn't use the bathroom. He was hysterical and the father was telling him he had three options: either he could pee in his pants on the way home, or they could stop by the side of the road and he could go, or he could try very hard to hold it until they got home. Either one was fine. The little boy kept crying and saying he just couldn't pee by the side of the road in front of everyone, and his father told him, "We are your family. It's me and your sisters. We love you, and if you have to pee in front of your family, it's okay. Nobody will be upset with you."

    It was so cute to hear DH tell me this story, not only because of the sweet way the father handled this, but also because DH was so thoughtful and impressed by the father's parenting style. <3

    And ... later on, DH brought up starting treatments again. I haven't even discussed the matter with him in over a year, and HE is the one to bring it up that he wants to keep trying. I'm kind of blown away.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  19. #44449
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    On my phone so can't be too detailed but when Claire got too traumatized about a mistake she made once my mom and I both made the same mistake 'coincidentally' not too long after that so she could see that we did it too and oops, I guess we'll have to remember to do it better next time, because EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES and THAT'S HOW YOU LEARN.

    Let us know how you do peeing on yourself if you try that route :-) and please send a little of the pee-rfectionism our way to someone who'd be happy to say it doesn't matter how wet your pants are as long as you have a song in your heart or milk in your cup.

    PS my mom took a spelling test and missed 8 out of 10 words to help with Claire's test anxiety.

  20. #44450

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    Aw, poor sweet thing! She reminds me a lot of Maiya in that situation. And what Maiya would do is role play it out. I mean, she role plays EVERY LITTLE THING on her mind. Good, bad, neutral but interesting, it all gets played out. It's how she makes sense of pretty much any situation. I've read some books about it, and they say that you should not exactly emulate the situation or "mock" the child, but Maiya likes it EXACTLY, almost word for word, at least the first few times. She'll correct me if I change it too much and she's not ready yet! Also, if we've talked about it, she likes me to be her so she can be me. But if she doesn't yet understand my role, she'll have me be me first and her be her, so she can learn what to say and how to handle it as me. Does that make sense??

    All her babies are animals, not human dolls, but our role play would probably look something like:

    Me, as, say, Freddy the froggy friend: Hmm... I need to go potty. I'll be right back, Wormy! ... OH NO!!! I got pee on my fur!! Waaa!!!!
    Maiya as Wormy (mimicking what I've already said to her): It's ok, Freddy! It's ok! Come on, let's get you cleaned up. Do you need a hug?
    (After cleaning)
    Me: I need to go potty again, but I am SCARED! I don't want to go in there Wormy!
    Maiya (again just repeating what I've already told her): It's ok Freddy, remember last time you just missed the toilet. This time let's sit further back, you can do it. Do you need help?
    Me: Please help me!
    Maiya: Ok, here we go...
    Me: Yay! I didn't miss this time!

    Can you tell we do this a LOT?

    And sure, frogs don't REALLY have fur, but Freddy the froggy friend is furry, hah!

    Also, do you think it might help if you didn't call it an accident? It may be too late, but if you tried to make her realize it wasn't "an accident", as in peeing her pants, and she just missed the toilet, do you think that might alleviate some of the guilt / shame she might be feeling? I don't know about that one, just an idea.

    Wow, Mandy, that is so sweet of him! I'm not sure my husband would have ever brought it up. I bet you're shocked. Probably feeling pretty emotional? What are you thinking? Ready to ride the roller coaster again? Big hugs to you! And keep us updated on where this goes.
    Last edited by Krystal5; 02-20-2014 at 01:07 AM.



  21. #44451
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    Oh I should add the important thing is to show how it isn't a big deal if you do decide to make a similar mistake. Obvious probably.

  22. #44452

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    Did L and I just give you exact opposite ideas at the same time...?

    For the record, I have tried her recommendation, too, with some success. It's just that Maiya's own personal preference is for role playing (with the dramatics!). I seldom initiate it because she does. Hope something helps calm Mira down!



  23. #44453
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    My first thought was the same as L's. No biggie, see adults can sometimes pee on themselves too (which is true and something pretty easy to do with the cough I have going on right now!)

    Wow Mandy.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  24. #44454

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    Aw, but to a child that age, it is a REALLY big deal. Sawyer has a little fear about pooping and he will hold off as long as possible. A few days ago he didnt make it and pooped all over his leg and the bathroom rug. He was incredibly upset. Like, one of the most upsets I have ever seen him. I really felt awful for him. I try not to say, "it's no big deal" because when I am upset, that is the last thing I want to hear. I just kept telling him that I was going to help him and he was going to be really clean and I didn't mind at all cleaning up that bath mat. And how sometimes poops feel like farts and the SURPRISE! (Ok, I will stop. You get the idea!)
    Do you think she was in a rush? Since Sawyer's incident, after he was calm, we have talked a lot about going to the potty right when you get that feeling and not waiting until it's ready to burst out.
    I love Janet's idea of role playing. It really is a great way for kids to sort out their feelings and sometimes even see the humor in a seemingly devastating incident.

    And Suja, you're such a good mom. And person. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

  25. #44455
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    You know, when I told her that she hasn't had an accident since she was two, she told me it wasn't true, she did pee in the foyer one time (and we laughed about it) after she was two. I couldn't believe she remembered that; if she wasn't two, she was maybe a little bit older than that. She doesn't have any confidence that she won't have another, and I can't lie to her and say that she won't, because well, accidents happen. But, telling her that stuff happens, no one is mad, her friends have accidents too (BTW Gretchen, now that I remember it, she thought that Noe's Big Poopa comment was hysterically funny, totally cracked up, and I had to repeat that several times), yadda, yadda, yadda ... not helping. I guess she'll just need time and more accident free potty days before she gets her confidence back up again.

    L, I will most definitely NOT be having an accident myself. I will however, try Janet's method, if she continues to be bothered by this.

    Thanks, Bridget. Maybe it's a confluence of events, but I'm really in the mood for some self flagellation.

  26. #44456
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    Hopefully it helps her out! I am not one for role playing much myself and do like to be reassured that things will be ok and it wasn't as bad as I'm making it out to be so that is where my first inclination is. And well, I am just prone to accidents like that myself. Coughing fits can trigger it...hardcore giggle fest can trigger it. Twice in my life I was dreaming about going and woke up really fast when I felt something warm. LOL

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    I don't think we were opposite, Janet! It's all about reassurance. Sometimes practicing what to do in the scenario and roleplaying helps, and it really does depend on the kid. And I guess I missed some posts in the middle of brushing my teeth and trying to get ready for bed and typing at the same time. Gwenn, that is such a cool story. I was thinking while I read it that it seems so heartwarming for an observer, but the poor dad was probably having a really awful day. (And all of these pee stories in a row!) One thing I learned from my twins list before my kids potty-trained was that I should keep a potty in my car for a lot longer than I would think. And it's true.


  28. #44458
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    Picked up the kid after lunch today. Apparently, she had a cranky day, and said she was too tired to eat lunch. Has a fever (100.7), but is home and once she got over the disappointment of missing ballet (today) and specials (tomorrow), she seems okay.

    On the way home, I tried the role playing thing. When I pretended I had an accident, she decided to (pretend)hit me. Then when I cried and complained about the hitting, she hit me some more. And got really upset. I guess we'll maybe try that when she's having a better day; I suspect she thought I was making fun of her.

  29. #44459
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    Picked up the kid after lunch today. Apparently, she had a cranky day, and said she was too tired to eat lunch. Has a fever (100.7), but is home and once she got over the disappointment of missing ballet (today) and specials (tomorrow), she seems okay.

    On the way home, I tried the role playing thing. When I pretended I had an accident, she decided to (pretend)hit me. Then when I cried and complained about the hitting, she hit me some more. And got really upset. I guess we'll maybe try that when she's having a better day; I suspect she thought I was making fun of her.

  30. #44460

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    What I love about that story with the dad is that he was clearly so focused on the needs of his child that he didn't care about who might be listening to him offer pee options.

    So what do you think you will do with what dh has said, Gwenn?

    I hope Mira feels better.

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