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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #43981
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    That's another issue, Bridget. He sees nothing wrong with any of it. To hear him say it, I'm considering separation, because he won't let me have a dog, or do the dishes. Of course, if you ask me, it's because I'm more maid than partner, and I am tired of having the better angels of my nature squashed underfoot.

    Sorry about venting, and not responding to anyone else. Just in a bad place right now.

  2. #43982

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    Don't apologize. That's what we are here for. For what it's worth, I really empathize. When the things that chip away at your soul are trivialized by your partner, it.is.maddening.

  3. #43983

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Don't apologize. That's what we are here for. For what it's worth, I really empathize. When the things that chip away at your soul are trivialized by your partner, it.is.maddening.
    Yes, this. And we are here for you. Vent away. I'm sorry for your troubles; they sound very understandable. Griping and criticism really get to me, too.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  4. #43984

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    Bridget, my headache is in the front right part of my forehead and a bit behind my right eye. It is mostly a nagging ache when I turn my head or my eyes in that direction. My mom says her sinus headaches often present that way, and it certainly could be that. I have fall allergies and have been a bit stuffy for a while now. But it also feels better when I rest or close my eyes, which tells me maybe it's tension or tiredness. Who knows.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  5. #43985
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    That's another issue, Bridget. He sees nothing wrong with any of it. To hear him say it, I'm considering separation, because he won't let me have a dog, or do the dishes. Of course, if you ask me, it's because I'm more maid than partner, and I am tired of having the better angels of my nature squashed underfoot.

    Sorry about venting, and not responding to anyone else. Just in a bad place right now.
    Don't apologize. As the others said, this is what we are here for. My situation is different, but I can understand why you are feeling that way.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  6. #43986
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    I was planning to write a whole bunch of random stuff. Now, I can't remember what they are. This growing old stuff is for the birds!

  7. #43987
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    Happy Halloween, everyone! I should be reading for my next essay that is due at the end of January since I'll be teaching 50% of my mentor teacher's time table then. I guess I can do some crash studying at Christmas break. It's an essay on assessment and reflective cycles. Blah.

    I hope everyone is having a good day.

  8. #43988
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    Suja. I am so sorry that you feel that way

    I'm hiding away in my 'overdue' shell, I promise I'll attempt to get more involved when I can

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  9. #43989
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    Christina, I'm glad you posted. Was starting to wonder if baby had arrived, and I had just missed it. You know, my OB wouldn't have let me go past 41 weeks, so I'm glad you found someone that is more willing to let nature take its course.

    Ash, I was with you right until "an essay on assessment and reflective cycles" What on earth is that?

  10. #43990
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    Oh, I just remembered one of the random things I was going to mention.

    Mira torqued her left foot yesterday, doing nothing in particular. Of course, today she has ballet/tap, followed by ToT. I can't quite figure out just how bad it is, because sometimes she says she needs a wheelchair, and limps around, and at other times, runs, or limps on the other foot.

  11. #43991
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    My sisters GF had to do a deconstruction paper. We were like huh? She's going for an assoicates degree....my sister and I have post grad work under our belts. It was a dumb assignment....a ton of directions that were complicated and not all that much work. It was basically a written paper with sections highlighted and you had to find new sources and replace the info. but could only use one database and suggested google. Paper was on a medical condition so of course they called me and I was trying to explain why google isn't a database. And when it was googled, not all the first websites were good ones so I was helping to explain which ones were better. It would have been easier to just have the students write a two page paper and practice citations that way.

    Christina....everytime I don't see you for a bit I think you are off having the baby. He needs to get going! Hopefully that means he's a little guy who just loves chilling out.

    Hmmm, I would think if the limping switches feet....probably not too bad.

    I saw a pheasant in my yard the other day....boy can they run fast! I didn't expect that.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  12. #43992
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    Ugh, I'm annoyed. I'm at work and got a notification about a new student I will be seeing. Usually the kids I see are once a week, but this kid is twice a week, which is fine. But there was a comment that "parent has requested that X be seen on Mondays and Wednesdays." I've been seeing kids since August and other than one or two tweaks, they've all had consistent times. Monday is my busiest day and I'm on the opposite side of town, which would be a 20 mile drive to this child's school and I'd have to see her during lunch time to make it work. Meanwhile, I have no students at all on Thursdays ( ) so I had intended to make that one of her days. Seeing her Thursday, I don't want to see her Wednesday - Tuesday would make more sense.

    I am NOT rearranging my entire schedule that has been working well for months to accomodate one child. Won't do it.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  13. #43993
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    Still very, very much pregnant. I'm pretty beat between work/school and this whole eternal pregnancy battle-with-the-OBs mess so I don't feel I have much worthwhile to contribute lately.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  14. #43994
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    Mandy, I don't blame you. I would politely turn down that request as well.

    Christina, what's the 'e eternal pregnancy battle-with-the-OBs mess'? I thought they were supportive of you letting nature taking its course.

  15. #43995
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    My midwife is, but she does require that I get NST/BPP at this point. I went to the hospital this past Monday for my first set of NST/BPP (he looked perfect btw) and they spent hours harassing me to induce. I was there for seven hours. Testing shoudl've only taken 2 hours, at the most. They kept coming in telling me that I was trying to kill my baby, trying to leave my son without a mother, that I was extremely high risk (which I'm not) and just in generally being very harassing.

    I go back tomorrow and next week I'll have to go every other day (Monday, Wednesday, Friday). I can only imagine how I'll be treated once they realize I'll be going beyond 42 weeks (assumming all looks well of course).

    It is really stressful for me to think about going back, but I don't really have any alternatives at this point.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  16. #43996

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    Suja, I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. How are thing? Have you guys been able to talk? Hope Mira does well ToT tonight!

    Mandy, yeah, if it's not broken, don't fix it!!

    Christina, I'm so excited for you. I can't imagine being over due, but that just means the big day has got to be coming!

    As for us... Maiya is ridiculously excited about Halloween. So I'm excited for her!

    In other news... Her pedi called and said she does NOT have a bladder infection. WHAT?? Blood in the urine and it's not a bladder infection? They think it's something they called "vulvar vaginitis" or something. Basically, she got some kind of irritation (probably from running around naked so often, darn hippie!) externally. So... Yeah. Not surprisingly, her sleep isn't all that much better. Darn. I was really hoping that her bad sleep was caused by the bladder infection, and fixing the bladder infection would fix her sleep! Ah well. Onwards.

    Also got my car back, yay! They fixed the problems. Now the window doesn't work. What? How does fixing everything else break the window?? Well, the window works, it just doesn't roll up automatically. And we need new tires. Guess I'll be going back soon!

    In other news... I'm on CD 29. Back in the day, before the strong fertility meds, this was the normal day my period would start. With the strong meds, it usually starts around CD 21. So I feel like I'm over a week "late". I am in the throes of PMS, so I know it will be starting soon, but it's driving me CRAZY.

    I didn't even write down the day my last period started. I'm TRYING not to think at all about it. I'm trying to forget what day I'm on. But 7 years' worth of habitual obsessing is hard to break.

    Back to working on the house! Maybe that will distract me, and then all the Halloween festivities certainly will.

    Everyone have a happy Halloween!



  17. #43997

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    So I've been ever so slowly (only while she's in school and I'm not cleaning or cooking or running errands, so like 5 hours a week) cleaning out my house. "The Purge" or "The Cleanse" as I'm calling it. Today I've been working on Maiya's closet, because that is what was next in the rotation.

    Someone remind me to NEVER clean out her baby stuff while I'm overly emotional and PMSy. Bawling my eyes out!!

    Anyone need about 3 boxes of cloth stuff? Diapers, wipes, pail liners, snappies, all sorts of good stuff.



  18. #43998

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    Oh man, it is emotional anytime. When I was going through his books I had to take out a couple that I decided to keep. I have a baby book called Little Duck that used to make him laugh like crazy and I can't bear to part with it.

  19. #43999
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    Aw Janet I wish I'd had time to read this before you got here tonight - I could have slowed down for a minute to talk or at least give you a hug. It was good seeing you and your family, though.

  20. #44000

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    It is an emotional time! There is plenty that I really shouldn't be keeping, but just don't have the heart to get rid of. I totally understand!

    Don't worry, L, when I said all the Halloween stuff would distract me, I was right. I had totally forgotten about it until I logged back in here. When I read what you wrote, I thought "What would I need to talk about??" Heh. It was fleeting! But thank you though.

    We had a great time tonight, always nice seeing you guys, too! And I know I told you already, but gotta brag to everyone here. Maiya was actually able to say C's name correctly, instead of with a T! WOOHOO!! She's getting better at K, G, and combing them with R and L. Though somehow, she can't / won't even try to say our dog's name, Quincy, correctly. Maybe because she says it so often that it'll be a hard habit to break? So he will for a while yet be "Tinsy".



  21. #44001
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    Janet, I had a student who had the most persistent difficulty with K and G I have EVER seen. He was still working on it when he was 9. He had autism and ADHD, so in addition to being hard to understand, he really wasn't able to reflect on when he was making errors and know they needed to be fixed, the way most children can. When he first came to me at 7, he couldn't even physically make the K sound but after a year or so we were making some progress. We finally reached the point where he could say the sound in words, but he just didn't realize when he was supposed to use it.

    What makes this story funny (it is, actually) is that his teacher was named Mrs. Kelly. For years, he had been calling her Mrs. Telly. So one day, in desperation (I'd been working on that K for years) I spent an entire 30 minute session doing absolutely nothing but having him say "Mrs. Kelly" and every time he said it right, he got to give himself a smiley face. Boring as heck for both of us, but he must have said "Mrs. Kelly" perfectly several hundred times. I took him straight back to class, and first thing he did was say, "Hi, Mrs. Telly!" with a huge smile. Totally, completely seriously. I, of course, went out in the hallway and beat my head against a wall. And I will never do that again!

    That has scarred me for life against ever wanting to work on the K sound again. LOL.

    All of which to say, yes, mispronunciations definitely become ingrained when we use them frequently. But she WILL say it right eventually, I promise.

    And didn't I tell you K and G come in around 3;6? I feel like I won a bet here.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  22. #44002

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    Aw!! Poor you. What a way to burst your bubble! It is funny, though. Definitely in a "bang your head against the wall" way.

    And, won a bet? More like stealing my thunder! Here I was trying to convince myself that all our hard work is paying off. ;)



  23. #44003
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    Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to steal your thunder, really I didn't. I'm certain your hard work is playing a big role.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  24. #44004

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    Oh, I know, just teasing.

    Who knows how much is the effort we're putting in, versus "just getting it" right on time. All I know is, I'm glad she's finally starting to get it.

    Though, for some reason, she is now saying "collected" something like "alepped" or something... I'm trying to find it on my video so I can give a more accurate rendition, but my internet is too screwy and it won't work! Grr. Just love her vocabulary!



  25. #44005
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    I had a professor who, I have to say, was incredibly rigorous but somehow we learned (and retained) more from his class than anything else. One thing I learned from him is that our mind is built to believe that if we do something, and whatever it is we are trying to fix gets better, it must be because we did something about it - basically, that's how placebos work.

    He taught us that a good clinician works hard to believe that what they did does not have an effect unless we can prove it. Treatment might have made them get better, but so could maturation. Or possibly other things. So you have to look for that extraordinary reason to believe what you did mattered.

    Which is extremely depressing and leads me to feel most of the time that I totally suck. But at the same time, I think my kids are pretty awesome when they start doing what I teach them - because I tend to give them the credit, not me! And whatever the cause, Maiya is awesome!
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  26. #44006

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    Oh, as long as we're talking language acquisition and I'm sitting here procrastinating doing more important stuff...

    Maiya seems to be finally getting a stronger handle on tenses. Naturally, one of the first thing she tries to correct me on is "Looks like there was an accident".

    How do you explain to a 3 year old that that is correct, even though the accident and bad traffic are still there??

    Seriously, I love this age. I love watching / listening to her learn all this. I love language, anyway, and it's fascinating, and amazing, and she is so smart and makes me so proud and it's just so much fun! Even though I couldn't explain to her in a way she understood, hah.



  27. #44007
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    On the other side of that, though, we had a lady come to speak to us at work the other day. She was there to talk about the building and a new resource center for families. We all introduced ourselves and she got all misty eyed about early childhood special education. Turns out she is the mother of an adult son with Autism, who attended our preschool program back when he was a little one. She almost cried and said he would not be where he is today without early intervention. It was pretty awesome to hear someone rave about it 30 years later.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  28. #44008

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    Yeah, that is a bit depressing... But it makes for good strong science, which can be fascinating! And when it comes to people, and helping them out, it's always better to err on the side of improvement. Do MORE to help, not less. Even if it technically did nothing, it must make the kids feel good if they think their effort has helped, ya know?

    Aw, and thank you!



  29. #44009

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    Aw, I bet that makes you feel good. Really, though, it's the age old "nature versus nurture" debate. And let's face it, not EVERYTHING will be resolved by nature / maturation alone. You do very important work!! And you do it well.



  30. #44010
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krystal5 View Post
    Oh, as long as we're talking language acquisition and I'm sitting here procrastinating doing more important stuff...

    Maiya seems to be finally getting a stronger handle on tenses. Naturally, one of the first thing she tries to correct me on is "Looks like there was an accident".

    How do you explain to a 3 year old that that is correct, even though the accident and bad traffic are still there??

    Seriously, I love this age. I love watching / listening to her learn all this. I love language, anyway, and it's fascinating, and amazing, and she is so smart and makes me so proud and it's just so much fun! Even though I couldn't explain to her in a way she understood, hah.
    I think this is the million dollar question. Unfortunately, grammar does not follow any rules of logic and it's sad but true that the answer is just "because that's how you say it." I try to avoid the why's because they just end in circular arguments, and just repeat what I was saying and move on.

    But yes, I'm the same way you are about languages. I have almost - almost - reached the point where I would be okay without having a child of my own ... but the big thing for me is I never got to see that process from start to finish. Every SLP I know refers to their child (or their oldest) as their experiment. I didn't get my experiment!

    Which is not at all why I want a child. But it kind of is. If that makes any sense at all.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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