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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #43861
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    Oh, Tony! He actually thinks he'll have the time and/or inclination to paint with a newborn in the house? HAH!

  2. #43862
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    Kate, I would be furious about the LASIK. That's nuts.

    I love chicken nuggets. But I can't do the McDonald's ones. Back when I was a kid they were gray and foamy and I can't get over that memory, even though I've heard they are no longer gray. Other places, though, yum.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  3. #43863

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    I can't do nuggets at fast food places. I like it when they have tenders though!

    Yeah, DH was rather pissed about the whole thing. The dr. made excuses about how his technicians should have recognized right away from the dilation results that DH's eyes were too abnormal to do the Lasik and then he said he'd been out of the country for the past two weeks, which still doesn't explain why he couldn't just look over the results when we came in two months ago to get them done. Everyone knew we were disgruntled when we left and wouldn't even make eye contact with DH who must have had his angry face on--I don't know because I was walking in front of him. He was really looking forward to not needing glasses.
    Last edited by daylilies; 10-17-2013 at 06:22 PM.

  4. #43864

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    That's awful about the Lasik! I would have been so mad, too. I hope this weekend is fun for all of you, regardless, and that your dh enjoys his time off.

    Most of my appointments went well today -- I got the flu shot, the mammo was easy, the hematology appt was a good checkup. Only snag was the endo. I went in to have a check on a thyroid nodule that I'd had biopsied a year ago. That nodule looked good, but the dr happened to notice another, newer one on the other side. She didn't like the look of it (it had calcification), so she did a biopsy. Two spots, two needles, and this time was a lot more painful than the one last year. My neck's been tender all day. I was not reassured to read that calcified nodules have a high risk of malignancy, and that needle aspirations are not always accurate, but I was reassured to see that if it is cancerous, it's generally very treatable with surgery. Not that I love the idea of having a thyroidectomy, but anyway. Cart before the horse. I should find out the results of the biopsy in a week or so.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  5. #43865

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    Oh, man. That is stressful. I will be thinking of you and anxiously awaiting the results. Will the pain last long? Is dh being a comfort to you? I recently had a spot biopsied and dbf is very dismissive of the possibility of anything negative. Hugs to you.

  6. #43866
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Oh, Tony! He actually thinks he'll have the time and/or inclination to paint with a newborn in the house? HAH!
    I don't want to freak him out but that is what I thought. He said we would be off work and can do it while baby is sleeping. LOL. It takes us probably 2-3 weekends to do something like this as it is.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  7. #43867
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    Oh no I'm thinking good results for both of you with the biopsies.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  8. #43868

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    Quote Originally Posted by pepperlru View Post
    That's awful about the Lasik! I would have been so mad, too. I hope this weekend is fun for all of you, regardless, and that your dh enjoys his time off.

    Most of my appointments went well today -- I got the flu shot, the mammo was easy, the hematology appt was a good checkup. Only snag was the endo. I went in to have a check on a thyroid nodule that I'd had biopsied a year ago. That nodule looked good, but the dr happened to notice another, newer one on the other side. She didn't like the look of it (it had calcification), so she did a biopsy. Two spots, two needles, and this time was a lot more painful than the one last year. My neck's been tender all day. I was not reassured to read that calcified nodules have a high risk of malignancy, and that needle aspirations are not always accurate, but I was reassured to see that if it is cancerous, it's generally very treatable with surgery. Not that I love the idea of having a thyroidectomy, but anyway. Cart before the horse. I should find out the results of the biopsy in a week or so.
    Hugs! I'll be thinking of you too. Let us know.

    Jennifer, I don't think you'll want to do it when the baby is already here. What's the harm in doing it now?

  9. #43869

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Oh, man. That is stressful. I will be thinking of you and anxiously awaiting the results. Will the pain last long? Is dh being a comfort to you? I recently had a spot biopsied and dbf is very dismissive of the possibility of anything negative. Hugs to you.
    Thanks, B. I'm sorry about your biopsy and about your dbf's response. Did you get results yet?
    My dh is similar to yours. It was tough last year with my blood disorder. He handled the not-knowing period, which was quite long and scary with a ton of tests, in a sort of "oh, I'm sure everything will be fine. Don't worry until we know there's something to worry about. Let's forget about it." way. I think deep down he was scared - he's since said that it was the worst time of his life - but I didn't see much support. I have to admit that he hasn't really handled any of my recent medical issues ideally. After my endoscopy, when I was still loopy and he was supposed to have read all the followup papers and be taking care of me, he didn't read them at all and let me eat a giant plate of nachos.

    I don't expect this to be different. He's a wonderful, loving husband and father, but this is a place where I know many good men fall a bit short. I'm doing my best not to resent it. It is what it is, you know? But you probably remember when I joked about having daydreams about my doctors. I was definitely wishing for some tender care back then. I hope this is nothing and that I won't need it now.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  10. #43870

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    I think a lot of men are squeamish even though they pretend not to be, and they get scared about having to take care of someone who is not quite with it. I was honestly a little nervous about taking care of him after the Lasik.

  11. #43871
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    Gretchen, I agree, my DH is also often less that comforting when I am worried about my health. I hope everything turns out fine.

    Jennifer, honestly I'm not sure paint fumes are safe for a newborn. I could be wrong, but to me it's not worth the risk if it's easily avoided by painting now when baby isn't around. If he's planning to paint while baby sleeps, where would baby be? Not in the room?

    Maybe I'm confusing painting with lead paint removal... But still, paint is full of nasty fumes I wouldn't want an infant to breathe.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 10-17-2013 at 08:45 PM.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  12. #43872

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    You can use low- or no-VOC paint to avoid toxic fumes. There are several "green" paints that are much healthier to be around. Unfortunately they're also more expensive, but if it's just one room...
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  13. #43873
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    That makes sense.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  14. #43874
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    L, how is S doing? Any improvement?
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  15. #43875
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    My DH is uber concerned about my health. So much so that once in college, I called him and said I needed to go to the hospital. My face was going numb and I felt weird (had a reaction to a drug that sent my BP pretty high). I didn't feel I needed 911 and he lived about 10 minutes away. He freaked out and his mom saw him and she drove.....and I guess he kept telling her to hurry and suggested she drive over a lawn...she said she was speeding as it was.
    So yeah when I had my surgery, not only did DH and my parents go but I had MIL there to take care of him....I heard he was very grey during surgery. He was awesome afterwards and stayed with me until they kicked him out for the night (now I would insist he stay). My back killed me after (I'm not a back sleeper and over 5 hours on it in surgery was awful for it)....really all pain after was from that....and I couldn't hardly move and he even wiped my behind for me one or two times until I could move more. He brought me my food and if he brought a half cup of cottage cheese, he would go back and only bring me a quarter cup if I asked....I could only eat a few tablespoons at that point and just couldn't look at a whole half a cup of cottage cheese. He didn't eat anything that I liked but couldn't have around me.
    He is really quite a good caretaker as long as it's not blood/needles and I'm not crying. Me in labor, he would not be good there. But he's also a pessimist and if we were waiting on test results, he wouldn't be one to be in denial but would be thinking worst case and assuming that.


    So I think we are back on to painting....the fumes won him over. He was just thinking baby could sleep in the office or living room the first week and let the room air out. We already have the colors and just usually get pittsburgh paints at menards so I don't know if they do the low VOC's. It is just one room that is 10x10 but my walls are pretty new still and really suck the paint.
    His reasons for waiting were, what if it takes so long that we don't get a baby and have to put the room back again to a guest room. We agreed to give it until he's 40 so that is another almost 3.5 years. And I think he can be in denial without the room staring at him all the time....it does feel more like an abstract concept than a reality since all have done is talk about it for years. But he also doesn't want to scramble it together last minute. I want to get it together because I can stop looking at my stuff in the closet and it will feel more real I think. I also know that the adoption has been some concern for him. He hates feeling judged and you are very much judged through the whole process. Even though we agreed to open adoption, don't love the idea. He thinks that birth mom will always be judging us in our parenting and how she would have done it better or differently. I don't think I agree with him on that one. I could see wishing she could have parented but there is generally good reasons why someone places their baby in the first place.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  16. #43876
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    I am hoping for good health and awesome results for everyone!

    We've been lucky in that we haven't had any major health issues to confront.... so far. Other than my c/s and hubs babied me for a good couple weeks after that. He was so worried I was going to bust open or something

    He was completely, unsympathetic, during the period where we were going through testing when we were ttc Nolan. It was a hard time for me to feel so at fault for not being able to get pregnant and he thought I was being over dramatic. He wouldn't (couldn't?) face the possibility of the reality we were in. I still tell him it was his jerk-iest time in our relationship

    Jennifer even with an open adoption I can't imagine birth mom being THAT involved once baby is placed with you. I can see his concern about being judged. You are awesome people, you will be AMAZING parents, and just remind him of that

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  17. #43877
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    S is much improved. Still coughing but no more fever and voice slightly hoarse if he uses it a lot. Says throat does not hurt. I had a phone appointment with his doctor yesterday and he agreed that he sounded like he was rapidly improving and didn't need anything else now.

    Thanks for asking.

  18. #43878

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    I'm so glad to hear it! Man, that sounded like a scary night.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  19. #43879
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    Well shoot, I posted too soon. S. was better yesterday and this morning, and then today he came home from school and was coughing more and has been waking himself up crying and coughing and coughing and crying. He has been clutching his neck in pain. I think this might be something new, though. The coughing is different.

    And do you guys remember how Claire knocked out her front tooth last summer? Well, she fell at school today, tripping over someone else's feet while she was running down a ramp. I got a call after school and heard that she fell and bumped her lip but she was fine. She had an acting class after school and when I went to pick her up, I saw that she had fallen and hit her other tooth, and this was a grown-up tooth, and had dislodged a flap of gum and it was hanging down over the tooth and it was kind of wiggly. I can't believe that my phone call was just "bumped her lip and she's fine," but on the other hand I had a hard time examining her myself. We spent part of Friday evening at the dentist and I kept waiting to see if I needed to take S. in but he hasn't woken himself up crying in at least an hour so maybe we'll get some sleep.

    The dentist said the tooth is okay for now, and what sometimes happens is that there is residual damage and she'll do an x-ray at her next checkup in about 6 months to see if anything's going on. Poor Claire. She sure has done a lot of damage to herself.


  20. #43880
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    Oh L, your poor babies

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  21. #43881
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    It's never just one, is it? I hope they both feel better soon and that C's tooth is okay.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 10-19-2013 at 03:07 PM.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  22. #43882

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    Sorry L! I hope they are better soon!

  23. #43883

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    Oh dear! Poor S and C. I hope they both heal up quickly. Better wrap R in bubble wrap for a while just to be safe.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  24. #43884

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    Oh poor C! And I hope S is feeling better now and you guys have an uneventful weekend.

    I took my older two to see Potted Potter today. It's a 90 minute parody of the 7 books. It was fun! It's nice to be with just the two and not be constantly distracted by my darling toddler.

  25. #43885

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    Oh, so that is good for kids, B? I was afraid it would be more for adults.

  26. #43886

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    There was a lot of stuff that went over their heads but I think as long as you read (or listened to someone else read) all the books, you'd find it entertaining.

  27. #43887

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    Ahh, we're in the middle of the 4th one.

  28. #43888
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    I hope that the kids are all doing better today!

    Well we did it....started on the room. Doing two different colors so the top is done with two coats. Not sure if we are doing a third or not....room was gray and we are going yellow and blue. This next weekend I will be working on the blue but at least I will not be a step stool for that. My house has 9ft walls so the very top DH has to be on the ladder to get. In a few weeks MIL is going to be up and can help us with the wallpaper border....she has done a lot of wallpapering in her day and we haven't. The hardest part was getting the queen bed into the basement.

    Definitely glad we are working on it now as it does smell in there and it's going to take probably three weekends to do paint and wallpaper. Now my mom thinks it's fine to paint but we should put the bed back in there and keep it as a guest room and finish the rest IF we get a baby. I'm an optimist and use WHEN. DH and I agree to give it until he's 40 so we have 3 years and a few months left. At that point, we both thought the room would make a cute craft room.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  29. #43889

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    Sounds like pretty color choices! Can't wait to see pics...
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  30. #43890
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    Yes, we definitely need to see pics! How exciting to see the room come together.

    Grr to your mom to saying if. Definitely when.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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