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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #42991
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    If I had had to chose a side of the fence to be on with Conner when he started Kindergarten last year, I'd have had to say he wasn't potty trained. He simply had too many accidents on a regular basis, and I had many of the same worries. Many people assured me he'd be fine in school, even his pediatrician. I didn't believe them and was very, very anxious for him.

    They were right. He had one accident all year, and it was when he'd gotten a bug and had nasty, nasty diarrhea. When the nurse called me, I was horrified for him. He was sick, but the fact that he crapped his pants clear down to his ankles at school didn't seem to bother him a bit. Go figure.

    But anyway, as far as regular toilet use, he just did it. Kids are often very different people at school than what they are at home.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  2. #42992

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    Josh only pooped himself once from what I can remember and he was not happy. It must have been a couple years ago now but I remember it clearly. He was on a playground and I was sitting off to the side on a bench. He came waddling up to me and said he'd pooped himself We went to the bathroom and cleaned up best we could and of course we had to go home and change. He cried on the way home

  3. #42993

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    She does tell me "When I'm at school, I will always use the potty," but since it seems like this is sort of involuntary, I'm not sure. It didn't start happening until she'd been trained for a long time - almost a year. Then it stopped for a while, and started up again a couple of months ago. I don't know, it's weird. She does her regular poops on the potty fine - just in between she seems to have stuff happen. I asked her pedi and she said it could be constipation, but didn't give me any other clues about how to tell or what to do. I do still think it might be that she just waits too long or tries to hold it. We do a small reward system for successful poops on the potty but it doesn't really seem to help this problem.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  4. #42994
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    You may find that at preschool, they encourage the kids to go at fairly regular intervals and those may be frequent enough that it isn't really a problem. I'm not sure about a regular program, but I know the ones I have dealt with make a point of frequent pottying.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  5. #42995

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    Quote Originally Posted by pepperlru View Post
    She does tell me "When I'm at school, I will always use the potty," but since it seems like this is sort of involuntary, I'm not sure. It didn't start happening until she'd been trained for a long time - almost a year. Then it stopped for a while, and started up again a couple of months ago. I don't know, it's weird. She does her regular poops on the potty fine - just in between she seems to have stuff happen. I asked her pedi and she said it could be constipation, but didn't give me any other clues about how to tell or what to do. I do still think it might be that she just waits too long or tries to hold it. We do a small reward system for successful poops on the potty but it doesn't really seem to help this problem.
    My niece had a similar issue when she was like 4 or so, and it ended up being that she had really bad gas because of an allergy and she would occasionally poop as she was passing gas. But being so young she didn't connect the two. But yeah. Just throwing that out there.

  6. #42996

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    I think even in K they take the kids at least a couple times and they could use a hand signal to ask to go at any time, too.

  7. #42997
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    Mira's teacher was saying that was one of the big differences between Montessori and public schools. Here, the kids can go whenever they need to, no need to ask for permission.

    My child woke us up last night, screaming. She was going 'HI-YAAAAAA' at the top of her lungs, in her sleep, probably being a ninja princess, who is kicking some dragon butt.

  8. #42998

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    I could see that with the gas, Elly. It does seem like it happens when she thinks it's gas and it's not. I think she just needs more practice at telling the difference and not waiting til the last minute when she has to go. But yes, Suja, I think at her school they can go whenever they need to go. Hopefully she'll just be more aware since she's at school and will try harder.

    Love the ninja dream!!
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  9. #42999
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    *crickets* Where IS everyone?

    I have a question for you. So, one of the moms from Mira's classroom and I were talking, and she mentioned that they were TTC their second, and she has a RE appointment. I said that I was sorry for her struggles, to which she answered that she wasn't actually struggling or anything because they've only been trying for two months, but she lied to the RE about it, so they'd see her. She's planning to go on Clomid. WTFBBQ? This isn't a normal line of reasoning, is it? I have reason to believe that she has medical training, which just makes me wonder even more.
    Last edited by Suja; 07-23-2013 at 09:39 AM.

  10. #43000

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    I do think that is sort of early to be worried about TTC, but maybe there's a reason she wants to be pregnant ASAP. I think it might have been smarter to be honest about how long she's been trying and get some real advice on how to maximize her opportunities to get pregnant (like chart her cycle and learn the best times to have sex and all that). Would Clomid mess up a woman's body if she didn't really need it? I don't know anything about it.

  11. #43001
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    That is dumb Suja.....

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  12. #43002
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    Oh, and she is selling their house, and buying a new one. To be closer to her mom. Who lives 20 minutes away.

  13. #43003
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    I would say how old is the woman. It is also possible that has had some issues in the past and just doesn't want to wait. Clomid isn't too big a deal really. I did 3 months of it even though I do ovulate and do not have PCOS. I did wait something like 18 months to see someone but mostly because I was in my 20's at the time. Mid-30's, I wouldn't wait more than six months.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  14. #43004

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    *crickets* Where IS everyone?
    It's the poop. I just had to bring up poop.

    With your acquaintance, Suja, I would think it was a little odd after only 2 months too. I agree that age might be a factor, or some other reason she wants to hurry -- maybe she's feeling anxious about the spacing between her children. And I actually find that many of the people I know in the medical field are very casual about seeking all kinds of medical intervention -- probably because they're around it all the time and it seems normal to them.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  15. #43005
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    I didn't have anyhing to contribute to the poop conversation, so I wasn't sure what to say I still get "no I want my diaper" when I ask Nolan if he wants to use the potty

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  16. #43006
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    That said, I'm excited my sister was going to the fertilty clinic. She had an appt for Sept but decided to wait until the new year. She hasn't tried yet but they are kind of missing half the needed DNA. Kind of hoping we end up with babies about the same time and age so the cousins can be close. We are in our 30's and our cousins are in grade school which isn't all that fun.
    I did tell her to talk to me about what tests they want to do...because far as we know she's fertile....just needs to do an IUI and buy some sperm. I do want her to talk to them about clomid for the cycle and maybe a trigger shot to see what they say about timing.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  17. #43007
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    I dont' know about kid poop. Just dogs. and my furry child likes to eat it once in a while so yeah....gross.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  18. #43008
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    They got pregnant the first time, right out of the box. I think she said the first month. If I had to guess, I'd say she's in her early 30s. She has a son who is super, super, super, super not adaptable (as in, he just stood in the classroom, not doing anything, for the first 3 months or so that he was there, he shuts down when either of the teachers is out, and a new person is there, wouldn't go into the playground when they changed from the toddler playground to the bigger one, shuts down if he sees the parent of the kid who goes to his home for the play date, one that he has been having play dates with for months, cannot be taken to a playground because he shuts down if there are any grownups there, cannot be taken to kids' birthday parties for the same reason, that sort of thing), and she says that she was far worse as a kid, so I suspect that she's got some underlying issues or something that is leading to this sort of behavior.

    ETA: I didn't ask for any of this information, it was volunteered, just in regular conversation.
    Last edited by Suja; 07-23-2013 at 12:09 PM.

  19. #43009
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    Suja, your friend is crazy. If she lies to her doctor, how is he going to know the best way to treat her?

    And clomid, in my opinion, is nasty stuff. I took it four cycles and will never take it again. It messed with me physically and mentally. I see why it would be useful in your sister's case, Jennifer, but for someone with one child who has been trying two months? Not worth the side effects to have a baby a couple of months sooner than she would anyway.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  20. #43010
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    They got pregnant the first time, right out of the box. I think she said the first month. If I had to guess, I'd say she's in her early 30s. She has a son who is super, super, super, super not adaptable (as in, he just stood in the classroom, not doing anything, for the first 3 months or so that he was there, he shuts down when either of the teachers is out, and a new person is there, wouldn't go into the playground when they changed from the toddler playground to the bigger one, shuts down if he sees the parent of the kid who goes to his home for the play date, one that he has been having play dates with for months, cannot be taken to a playground because he shuts down if there are any grownups there, cannot be taken to kids' birthday parties for the same reason, that sort of thing), and she says that she was far worse as a kid, so I suspect that she's got some underlying issues or something that is leading to this sort of behavior.

    ETA: I didn't ask for any of this information, it was volunteered, just in regular conversation.
    That's a big red flag.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  21. #43011
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    Mandy I was thinking big red flag too!

    Yeah I mean I wouldn't lie like that to the doctor or want to pay for it for an extra few months of trying. But I don't see it as a huge huge deal either. Weird but not totally insane.

    I don't see clomid as a huge deal myself but than again I didn't have really any side effects except maybe the drying out one some. And really painful ovulation. I normally have a lot of pain for that...way worse than AF. Clomid basically tripled it...probably because I had three huge follicles on it. Really I think that is the biggest risk with it....risk of multiples.

    Yeah with my sister I just really want them to get the timing right since it's not like they can try before or after the doctor visit.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  22. #43012
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    That's a big red flag.
    The kid or the mom?

  23. #43013
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    Um both! But first thought was red flag on the kid for me.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  24. #43014
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    The kid. Sounds like autism/Asperger's to me without any other information.

    Never do Clomid again. Seriously, I was having repeated thoughts of death after my last cycle on it. In addition to the hot flashes and the tingling in my fingers/toes that made me think I was about to have a stroke and took a year to go away. Never again. Evil stuff.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  25. #43015
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    Near as I know, he interacts fine with kids, and is otherwise fine, developmentally. I had known him for months (he was in the other toddler room when Mira was going to the toddler class), and had no idea that he could even speak. It wasn't so much that he couldn't speak, he didn't, when there were adults around that he didn't know really well. It's the adults that cause him to shut down. I didn't think that was how ASD worked?

    Anyway, I recommended 'Raising your spirited child' to her, based on the conversations we'd had, and her husband who had started reading it, apparently told her that it was a relief to know they were not alone.

  26. #43016
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    Isn't it always so strange how drugs affect people so differently? I totally wouldn't do it if I had an experience like yours Mandy! I have a couple of drugs that I cannot do/would not do again...well and two of them have been pulled off the market for the side effects...one for heart damage which I didn't get but it sure changed my personality while on it. The other sent my BP so high I had to go the ER and they were worried about stroke. But one is penicillin....I have an allergy to that and based off the last reaction they said the next time could send me into shock.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  27. #43017
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    If it's really just adults and not unfamiliar people in general, then no. But if he's able to interact okay with the kids because they are familiar to him and has trouble with new adults who are unfamiliar he could be high-functioning ASD.

    When you mentioned him completely breaking down when the teacher was out it sounded just like the kids I've worked with. When they are comfortable and familiar and in a routine that they can predict they do fine and some of them would be indistinguishable from a neurotypical child - until their routine is broken and the teacher has a dentist appointment. Then all hell broke loose.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  28. #43018

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    Jennifer, that's exciting about your sister!
    I've been thinking a little bit about my sis and her partner ... She used to say they wanted kids, but their lifestyle is kind of non-kid-friendly (she travels internationally frequently, and they both do lots of vacations and parties with friends) so maybe they've tabled it. But I'm also wondering if part of their reluctance is considering a donor and a womb. I assume they might go for my brother as a donor and my sister's partner to carry the baby, but then I wondered if maybe neither of them wants to carry it (my sister is high-maintenance healthwise and I really don't think she wants to be pregnant... honestly I just can't even see it! and her partner is a fitness trainer so maybe she's not into that either). And then I thought maybe I could be a surrogate if they ever wanted one. I love being pregnant but since dh doesn't want any more kids, that would be the only way I'll get to do it again. And that way I'd still get to be auntie to the baby I helped grow. But I don't know -- they're always looking for someone to help take care of their dog, and obviously you can't send a kid to be boarded... so maybe they've just decided on no kids. But they're both in their late 30s so they should decide pretty soon.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  29. #43019
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    They got pregnant the first time, right out of the box. I think she said the first month. If I had to guess, I'd say she's in her early 30s. She has a son who is super, super, super, super not adaptable (as in, he just stood in the classroom, not doing anything, for the first 3 months or so that he was there, he shuts down when either of the teachers is out, and a new person is there, wouldn't go into the playground when they changed from the toddler playground to the bigger one, shuts down if he sees the parent of the kid who goes to his home for the play date, one that he has been having play dates with for months, cannot be taken to a playground because he shuts down if there are any grownups there, cannot be taken to kids' birthday parties for the same reason, that sort of thing), and she says that she was far worse as a kid, so I suspect that she's got some underlying issues or something that is leading to this sort of behavior.

    ETA: I didn't ask for any of this information, it was volunteered, just in regular conversation.
    Wow, that sounds just like Nolan.......... We went to the waterpark with a coworker of mine and her son (A) for the first time a few weeks ago. He's hung out with A a few times and is moderately comfortable around him. A went straight out and played with the other kids. Noaln just stood there, off to the side, with his hands in his mouth. I could only get him to go into the water park if DH or I went with him. I honestly didn't really recognize *how* stand offish Nolan is in comparison to other kids his age until that moment
    Last edited by Smplyme89; 07-23-2013 at 01:13 PM.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  30. #43020
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    I would love, love to be a surrogate for someone. I doubt it is something that will ever work out for me to do, but its something DH and I have talked about. He thinks I'm a little crazy for wanting to do it, but is supportive once we are done having our own kidlets.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


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