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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #42211

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    Lol, yeah, he was taking it too far!

  2. #42212
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    No, you're not being ridiculous. They are. Have you heard back from the lead yet?
    No, I haven't, but ironically just now (actually 4 minutes ago) I got forwarded a finalized evaluation report for a kid who just completed evaluation by the summer team and will apparently be assigned to me. So that's one kid I can get started on! LOL!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  3. #42213
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Lol, yeah, he was taking it too far!
    That kid was a riot!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  4. #42214
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    I like the sound of the superhero kid. He sounds cool. I love argyle patterned things. I used to have a pair of knee high argyle socks that I called my lucky socks and wore them on days I had algebra tests. My mother bleached them and they went from a beautiful navy blue to a horrible brown. I still wore them for a few tests afterwards until I graduated high school.

    Funnily enough, that's the only superstitious thing I ever used to do that was not like an OCD type of thing (I used to suffer pretty bad with OCD in having to touch random things like light switches for a certain number of times).

  5. #42215

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    How long ago was that, Mandy? I wonder what he is like as he gets older. Was he diagnosed with anything or just in for speech therapy? All this talk about asbergers and such has me thinking about a conversation I had with a friend of mine during the cancer walk. So many things being diagnosed today that weren't years ago and it's a double edged sword depending on how it's handled. Some meds I know are needed in certain situations but better to give them tools to function in society without actually altering who they are. The world needs people like that and they can thrive where a neurotypical being may struggle. Just my totally unprofessional 2 cents. The conversation stemmed from an email she got that her son should be tested for adhd and she was scared.

  6. #42216

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    Ash, did I know that you struggled with ocd? I did a little bit as a child and Savana was something awful a couple of years ago. She still has certain things she does but has gotten control over it. Dbf and I are probably the only ones that notice her little rituals now.

  7. #42217
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    How long ago was that, Mandy? I wonder what he is like as he gets older. Was he diagnosed with anything or just in for speech therapy? All this talk about asbergers and such has me thinking about a conversation I had with a friend of mine during the cancer walk. So many things being diagnosed today that weren't years ago and it's a double edged sword depending on how it's handled. Some meds I know are needed in certain situations but better to give them tools to function in society without actually altering who they are. The world needs people like that and they can thrive where a neurotypical being may struggle. Just my totally unprofessional 2 cents. The conversation stemmed from an email she got that her son should be tested for adhd and she was scared.
    I think he would have just finished kinder this year. I used to chat with his teacher about him when he was still in preschool but haven't heard how he is doing now. She loved him, said he was the most fun kid she ever worked with. He didn't have a diagnosis that we knew of. We gave him speech and support from a resource teacher to help him with stuff like counting and colors. He wasn't significantly delayed, actually, but really we wanted him in because of the social stuff. I wouldn't be surprised if someone diagnoses him with Asperger's down the line, but not sure if they will. He might just be a slightly odd kid that nobody is really sure what is up with. Wonder if OCD might not be more appropriate? Who knows, that's for the psych to decide.

    I agree it's a double edged sword. But I am firmly of the opinion that a diagnosis does not need to mean meds. It can mean meds, and they can be very useful ... but there is a huge role that therapy plays into helping a child learn to adjust, and that is still necessary with or without meds. I get frustrated when I see people (understandably) not wanting to put their kids on meds so avoiding identification or labeling, which also means avoiding any sort of therapeutic intervention. Nickname nazis aside, we're nice people and can really do a lot to help kids out. It's sad to me when I see people struggle with things they don't need to struggle with, without realizing the tools we have to help out. Thinks like that social thinking curriculum that I know is working for you. Yes, they do have gifts to offer the world that other kids don't, but we can still find ways for them to meet people half-way and cope with problems that come up. Nobody wants to squelch any child's gift.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 06-18-2013 at 03:00 PM.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  8. #42218
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Ash, did I know that you struggled with ocd? I did a little bit as a child and Savana was something awful a couple of years ago. She still has certain things she does but has gotten control over it. Dbf and I are probably the only ones that notice her little rituals now.
    I don't talk about it much, so I probably have never mentioned it on here. I find that being in denial about it is almost the cure for me, as in I don't think about it and it doesn't affect me. When I am stressed out, I still have a hard time not pinching my ear lobe in a repeat pattern or touching my knuckles in the same way.

  9. #42219

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    I agree, Mandy, completely. Because when you do hear of successful people that got a diagnosis later in life, it's heartbreaking to hear of the struggles they had growing up in a life of seclusion from their peers. That is suffering. I'm so glad we have people like you and other professionals who find ways to help these children thrive. The meds were just part of the conversation I had with my friend because she had people in her life sort of jumping to it and was like HE'S SIX. Can we try other things first??? Luckily, his teacher was mostly just wanting to find ways to meet his learning style and not so much change him.

  10. #42220
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    I agree she should explore all her options before making a big decision like that.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  11. #42221

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    My cousin has a son who is now 21 that struggled in elementary school, socially and academically, was labeled adhd. My cousin did own research to find alternative treatments and the school he was going to was not supportive of her efforts. She popped in one day to find her son in his desk, from the class, facing the wall! When she questioned it she learned that was his regular spot to keep him focused. Oy! My cousin found a new dr and new school and he s diagnosed with asbergers shortly after and was like a whole new child. He still socially awkward-at 21 would rather build true to scale farm scenes than go out with his friends, but he HAS friends, and jobs (on farms, of course) and plays in a band. When he was diagnosed at 7, it was the first I had ever heard of it.

  12. #42222
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    My cousin has a son who is now 21 that struggled in elementary school, socially and academically, was labeled adhd. My cousin did own research to find alternative treatments and the school he was going to was not supportive of her efforts. She popped in one day to find her son in his desk, from the class, facing the wall! When she questioned it she learned that was his regular spot to keep him focused. Oy! My cousin found a new dr and new school and he s diagnosed with asbergers shortly after and was like a whole new child. He still socially awkward-at 21 would rather build true to scale farm scenes than go out with his friends, but he HAS friends, and jobs (on farms, of course) and plays in a band. When he was diagnosed at 7, it was the first I had ever heard of it.
    That's exactly why I think the right label is critical. These poor little aspie kids. Seems like many of them spend much of their childhoods before anyone figures out what the problem is and how to deal with it. It's all in how it is handled. And they know they don't fit. I don't know if you watched that video I linked, but I felt so sorry for that guy, wondering what was wrong with him his whole life.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  13. #42223
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    I don't fear a dx so much as the push for medications. My own experience has shown the schools (at least where I live) push very, very hard to have children with any dx on medications. I saw it when my girls were in elementary school, and I screened numerous calls weekly from all the districts in my county when I worked at the mental health clinic. I had one extensive discussion with a highly respected child psychiatrist about it one night when I'd gotten very exasperated with yet another school wanting a child on medication. He knew his stuff-had done it for a couple decades-and even he said he felt tremendous pressure from the schools and the child abuse social workers to prescribe medications. They'd even suggest to him which medications they thought the child would be on.

    Based on that alone, I vowed that the school would never, ever be aware of any dx my children had. Never. Because they reported the parents for medical neglect time and again if the parents opted to try therapy first. I have a very strong distrust of public schools.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  14. #42224

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    That is scary, Chrissy! I know the schools gave my cousin an awful time and treated her as if she were a bad parent for not wanting to medicate. However, I believe it was a private catholic school that she had him at and when she took him out of there (after the desk in the corner incident) she put him in public school and he got what he needed there. I remember one of the things he "needed" when he was having a meltdown was sour candy. He totally calmed him. Of course at the first school they said no way but his next teacher kept a stash in her desk. This was 15 years ago, of course, so I imagine the treatments are more complex.

  15. #42225
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    That is scary, Chrissy! I know the schools gave my cousin an awful time and treated her as if she were a bad parent for not wanting to medicate. However, I believe it was a private catholic school that she had him at and when she took him out of there (after the desk in the corner incident) she put him in public school and he got what he needed there. I remember one of the things he "needed" when he was having a meltdown was sour candy. He totally calmed him. Of course at the first school they said no way but his next teacher kept a stash in her desk. This was 15 years ago, of course, so I imagine the treatments are more complex.
    Indeed they are. That's my other complaint--each child (or adult) needs to be treated individually and not all grouped together, put on the same meds, same therapies, etc.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  16. #42226

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    *So, after going back and re-reading comments to make sure I read things correctly (which I probably should have done BEFORE replying), I think I misunderstood the situation. haha. But since I can't delete the comment, I figured I add an explanation. *


    That's terrible! I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. But stand your ground. Kids should be on medication only as a last resort, and even then only in combination with counseling/therapy. But then I'm a huge advocate of counseling/therapy, so I know I'm a bit biased. But yeah, finding good teachers (at least ones willing to TRY to work with you/your child) will make a huge difference. When I was in school I was in the advanced classes so it was the same group of 20 of us from 1st grade until graduation practically because I went to a small school. But we had a lot of kids with mental health issues, mostly ADD/ADHD, OCD, anxieties, and one guy with Asperger's (though he wasn't officially diagnosed until middle school). The teachers were great and essentially made the classes work for us. We had a definite schedule that never involved doing boring worksheets at a desk. We did a LOT of hands on learning. But counter that with the school (there were 2 elementary schools that fed into the middle/high school) my brother went to (who has several learning disabilities, and other mental health Dx's), he was constantly getting in trouble. They were calling my parents regularly to say that he needed medication or that what he was on wasn't working (which ironically made my mother say fine, he won't take anything if it's not working anyways). But he had an awful time because the teachers didn't work with him.

    Just saying, there are teachers and school systems out there that are MUCH better than others.
    Last edited by EllyD14; 06-19-2013 at 09:29 AM.

  17. #42227
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    Quote Originally Posted by EllyD14 View Post
    That's terrible! I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. But stand your ground. Kids should be on medication only as a last resort, and even then only in combination with counseling/therapy. But then I'm a huge advocate of counseling/therapy, so I know I'm a bit biased. But yeah, finding good teachers (at least ones willing to TRY to work with you/your child) will make a huge difference. When I was in school I was in the advanced classes so it was the same group of 20 of us from 1st grade until graduation practically because I went to a small school. But we had a lot of kids with mental health issues, mostly ADD/ADHD, OCD, anxieties, and one guy with Asperger's (though he wasn't officially diagnosed until middle school). The teachers were great and essentially made the classes work for us. We had a definite schedule that never involved doing boring worksheets at a desk. We did a LOT of hands on learning. But counter that with the school (there were 2 elementary schools that fed into the middle/high school) my brother went to (who has several learning disabilities, and other mental health Dx's), he was constantly getting in trouble. They were calling my parents regularly to say that he needed medication or that what he was on wasn't working (which ironically made my mother say fine, he won't take anything if it's not working anyways). But he had an awful time because the teachers didn't work with him.

    Just saying, there are teachers and school systems out there that are MUCH better than others. Don't lose hope. But maybe looking at other schools isn't a bad idea?
    I'm not sure if your response was to my post or not (?) but I just wanted to clarify-it's not that my kids have ever gotten any sort of dx. It's simply what I've witnessed other parents have to battle with. I only meant that IF EVER one of mine did have a dx (mental, emotional, or otherwise) the school would be the last to know about it.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  18. #42228

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I'm not sure if your response was to my post or not (?) but I just wanted to clarify-it's not that my kids have ever gotten any sort of dx. It's simply what I've witnessed other parents have to battle with. I only meant that IF EVER one of mine did have a dx (mental, emotional, or otherwise) the school would be the last to know about it.
    haha, yeah, I just edited my post because I realized I had read it wrong.

  19. #42229
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    Quote Originally Posted by EllyD14 View Post
    haha, yeah, I just edited my post because I realized I had read it wrong.
    Oopsie!



    Work was insane!!! My manager and I spent the best portion of the day fighting with CIT about something they must have done that made 1/2 a dozen of our users suddenly not able to log into their computers. Or any computers for that matter. Their logon authenticates to their domain...we have virtually no control over their accounts. Yet they kept insisting that it must be something we did. First, if we implemented a new group policy, all our users would have been affected (350+) 2nd, the 6 or so users it did impact weren't even members of any single group. Two users were in NYC. One user had a "Welcome to the Cornell Domain" message pop up when she tried to log in. That message only appeared shortly after we migrated. It's been a year now! Yet another user was using his computer just fine and locked it when he went to the bathroom. When he returned, he suddenly had no access.

    It was terribly frustrating but they finally admitted that some users were 'inadvertently removed' from a reference group. Once they were added back in, they magically had computer access again. I hate hate hate that we have to battle with them every stinkin time they mess something up. They should know, if Faye or I call up there, they've messed something up and not waste time trying to look at our network/group policy/security settings.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  20. #42230
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    SCUBJIA with a brief update that I am reading that book that Gwenn said I'd like, The Doomsday Book. I had to read a couple of other books first. Anyway, I'm 86% of the way through and I'm really enjoying it although everyone is dying and pus and blood are flying all over the place, and I was just bawling while I was brushing my teeth. Thanks for the recommendation.


  21. #42231
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    There is an abundance of dying in that book. And pus. But it's one of my favorites of all time. Glad you are enjoying it.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  22. #42232

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    EllyD14, don't know if you are still checking in over here but I saw your post in your birth room and just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry for your loss.

  23. #42233
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    EllyD14, don't know if you are still checking in over here but I saw your post in your birth room and just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry for your loss.
    Ditto

  24. #42234

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    EllyD14, don't know if you are still checking in over here but I saw your post in your birth room and just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry for your loss.
    Hugs, Mama
    AKA Lisa724

  25. #42235

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    Thanks guys.

  26. #42236
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    I'm so sorry for your loss.

  27. #42237

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    I'm so sorry.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  28. #42238
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    I'm sorry.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  29. #42239

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    I'm so sorry for your loss.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  30. #42240
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    Oh no! I'm sorry, Elly. Please take care of yourself at this time. (hugs)

    Mandy, I think I'll have to find that book. It sounds like my kind of story.

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