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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #41581
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    I have so much to reply too, but feeling in a bit of a funk so I'll have to catch up later. I wanted to say thank you for listening to my crazy ramblings (again) and being so understanding

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  2. #41582
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    Ugh. I think I must have a uti coming on because I'm feeling run down and have a heavy, painful feeling near my left ovary. It didn't help that I had a very light lunch and didn't eat dinner til 8pm, so I had no energy at all. Dh really stepped up to the plate when he realized how unwell I felt. He fixed dinner and sorted the kids' bedtime and let me recoup.

    I'm feeling better now but will definitely be going in to the doctor tomorrow. I'm wondering if I should be checked for an ovarian cyst as I remember at one of the u/s I had when pregnant they told me they saw a cyst but not to worry about it. I've seemed to be getting a uti once every fewmonths nowadays and one of the doctors mentioned that it could be a cyst causing the problem and not a uti as I never have the main symptom of painful or constant urination. I have lots of pain on my left side and feel nauseous and run down.

    Will let y'all know what the Dr says tomorrow. I'm supposed to be taking Travis to the movies tomorrow, so I'm hoping to feel better by then.

  3. #41583

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    Oh no Ash - I'm glad you're going in. I hope they can figure it out. I had trouble with cysts when I was younger and man! They can be so painful. Feel better soon.

    Christina, this thread is called "Confesssions," right? So this is the place for anything you might ramble. I'm so sorry for the dysfunction you've had to deal with in your family. You've really shouldered a lot. I'm glad your dad's ok, but I can understand your frustration.

    And Rachael, I meant to tell you I'm so sorry for your ongoing upset with your ex. What a jerk. You are a strong woman and a great mom, and you're doing a fantastic job. I agree that you should block the meddler - it's none of her business to stalk them and tell you all about it! yuck.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  4. #41584
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    Oh, and I forgot to mention that on top of feeling crummy physically, I felt so down mentally because one of my friends found out today that her dad has prostate cancer. Her mother was diagnosed with lymph node cancer about 6 months back after her Gran had a stroke and her grandad has withered away with Alzheimer's. Along with that, someone my mil knows is nearly dead from breast cancer and I saw (on Facebook) that a girl who was a year ahead of me in high school is suffering with bowel cancer. I hate thinking about it...

  5. #41585
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    Well ladies, I took your advice and blocked her. I also called James for the first time since before Parker was born and apologized for this persons actions, it went to voicemail, thank god. I told him that people were snooping on them and that they might want to make their pages private to keep that from happening continually.

    This person texted me today asking where my fb is. I simply said "I blocked anyone who is looking into James' life and I contacted James and let him know about it". All she said was okay.

    Thanks for the support ladies. I appreciate it.

  6. #41586
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    Quote Originally Posted by CamaLamaMama View Post
    Well ladies, I took your advice and blocked her. I also called James for the first time since before Parker was born and apologized for this persons actions, it went to voicemail, thank god. I told him that people were snooping on them and that they might want to make their pages private to keep that from happening continually.

    This person texted me today asking where my fb is. I simply said "I blocked anyone who is looking into James' life and I contacted James and let him know about it". All she said was okay.

    Thanks for the support ladies. I appreciate it.
    "Ok"


    Ok then. She obviously knew what she was doing was crummy. At the least.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  7. #41587
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    "Ok"


    Ok then. She obviously knew what she was doing was crummy. At the least.
    That was exactly the face I made when I opened the text.

    What sucks is she lives in the same subdivision as me and stops by a lot because we are friends. I don't want to end a friendship over it, but man I need space. I'm super ticked.

  8. #41588
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    Quote Originally Posted by CamaLamaMama View Post
    That was exactly the face I made when I opened the text.

    What sucks is she lives in the same subdivision as me and stops by a lot because we are friends. I don't want to end a friendship over it, but man I need space. I'm super ticked.
    Is it too much to hope she'll apologize and leave it alone?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  9. #41589

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    I think you handled it with absolute grace and she should want to be your friend even more after realizing how strong and cool you are. If she can't appreciate that in you then her loss, I say. I am very impressed with how you handled that!

  10. #41590

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    Okay, spent the last 30 minutes catching up in here for the last few pages at least.

    Kate I LOVE the new pic of Josh!! He is such a cutie! Reminds me that I need to put a new one up of my kiddos as mine is probably 2 years old and both of them are pretty huge now in comparison.

    Loved everyone's thoughts on motherhood earlier. Late to the game but I never even considered whether I would or would not have kids, I just figured I would, if I didn't I do feel I could have adjusted and been happy to be childfree but I really love the experience of being with my kids. And I honestly don't think that so far mothering has been all that hard for me. I think because I grew up in such a large family and kids are just a part of the picture and I also feel it is because I'm a somewhat lazy mom who is pretty uninvolved in most daily going-ons in my kids' lives. People who know me think I am crazy for feeling I am uninvolved but I really don't feel I pay all that much attention to them. I don't get involved in their petty arguments. I don't plan many activities with them or for them, I figure they are kids and can be imaginative and find something to do. I don't even really play many games with them or anything. I go get other kids for them to play with because I just feel kids should play with other kids and I am somewhat of a quiet loner. That said, I love talking to Elle and hearing about her day and she can go on and on - Racheal you speaking of Cam not shutting up reminded me of Elle lol! She is just a 'blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-BER" LOL. But I do enjoy listening to her blah-ber most of the time and when I have had enough I tell her to go tell daddy about it or I'll just say I need some quiet time to myself or ask her to leave so I can be alone and she is okay with that. She is just so cute and hilarious to me the things she says and she is so serious about her little group of friends and their experiences that she just enchants me at times. The ages of 4-10 are my favorite ages for kids because they are really "people" with their own little ways and personalities and likes/dislikes and I love hearing of their experiences and thoughts and daily lives as it reminds me of the innocence that we all started with.

    I have only recently begun to see that motherhood can be really difficult and mostly it is due to Ky and his reserved nature as I worry about him and think that he may not be sharing things with me that I feel he should share. He has always been reserved and not wanting to worry me since he was around 7-8 years old. So I do worry about him, probably more than I should.

    I have never thought I did much of anything though to make them the good kids they are. I think the majority of people are by nature just good people and so I just try to have a calm, loving, respectful environment for my kids so that they will not grow up and have their good nature reversed. I think it helps that I am naturally really laid back. My dad used to call me "cool breeze" as I don't let things get to me. When they were babies and cried, it didn't really bother me since babies cry. When they were older and tantrumed (Ky mostly, Elle rarely tantrumed even though she recently has decided to start screaming when she is angry) I didn't let that get to me either since I have never seen a toddler/preschooler not tantrum. So I don't link their behavior to mine or what I am doing in most circumstances. The only one I can remember is Ky and his frustration at different choices that he was allowed to make. After thinking about it for months, I just took away pretty much all his choices and he was much calmer, though still not 100% tantrum, bratty kid proofed. He is still really emotional when he wants to be and his behavior from 18 months to 4 years old was the primary reason why I didn't allow myself to get PG as I felt I needed a break from what I deem "the battle years" and I could enjoy his childhood a bit before having to deal with more tantruming and screaming/crying.

    Erin
    Last edited by Ky'sMom; 05-28-2013 at 09:53 PM.

  11. #41591
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    Erin, I get it. I'm a lot like you in the whole "uninvolved" feeling. Like, on one hand I know I'm not and no one that knows me and my kids would ever even dream I'm an 'uninvolved' mom...but then I read stuff on here and elsewhere on the internet and I can't help but feel that way. I'm sooooooo not involved in the daily BS they got going on in their lives. If they have issues with their friends, I fully expect them to sort it out. Not that I'm not here to talk to for advice, but I'm not nosy. I'm not grilling them every day about 'their day' and listening for hours on end about every little detail and conversation that happened. Nope. That ain't me.

    Something happened today (minor FB drama) with Syd and another adolescent boy. Syd got me involved and I handled it in less than an hour. I talked to her and made sure she was ok emotionally and if she wants to we'll talk it about again, but I'm not going to ask her about everything that's going on forever more. Not in this, or anything surrounding this boy.

    Unless there's something that makes me think I should 'take interest' (and I do peruse their facebook daily), I'm not going to be any more 'involved' than she wants me to be. It's the same with friends over, sleepovers, parties, or sports. If they want it, they have to ask me for it. I don't suggest anything like that to them after Kindergarten.

    Somehow, we've managed to have great communication and they've led very active lives. In fact, Bobbie's & Jesi's were so active I was celebrating when Bobbie got her license....only because that meant for me the 'mom taxi' could get a break lol

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  12. #41592
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    I don't call that uninvolved, I call that allowing your children to lead independent lives. Hovering over them, directing their every move, is not condusive (in my opinion) to teaching children independence and self worth. I know too many people who had mommy and daddy handle everything for them. Now as adults, graduating from college, they are so lost. It's almost comical watching them try to handle everyday 'issues'.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  13. #41593
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    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  14. #41594
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    My mom has been my cousins troop leader the past few years and found the new style of parenting drove her nuts. She called them the drama mamas. Most of which were somewhat around my age. This was not a troop of 5 yr olds but 3rd, 4th, 5th graders. The mamas were all super involved in what was going on in the troop, what was going on between the girls, what was going on between the other mamas. My mom started kicking them out and said that they had to stay out in the hallway.

    Very different from when I was a girl scout and just got dropped off at the meetings and mom did errands. Or when she was a leader for my sister's troop....none of the parents hung around and got so caught up in girls friendships. It was like cool....free babysitting for a few hours.

    It's bad when even my mom is like these parents are way too involved and need to get a life....seeing as back in the day, she was seen as a pretty involved parent. LOL

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  15. #41595
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    Good parents naturally are invested in every aspect of their children’s lives, they contend.
    and when there little girl goes off to college, graduates, gets a job, and doesn't know how to deal with everyday conflict and/or problems in the workforce - what is she going to do, call mommy and daddy to take care of it for her?

    Love this. Failing is a part of life, it is how we learn.

    “When we do not give the child the freedom to try on his or her own and maybe fail on his own, he doesn’t develop the competency that children who fail learn,”

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  16. #41596
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    Interesting article, Jennifer. Seems like common sense to me-the more you do for your children, the harder it will be for them to handle it themselves.

    I saw the dr this morning. She said she thought it was just ovulation pain because my urine test was clear. I never realized ovulation was so painful! She dismissed the cysts worry I had, so I'm going to leave it for a bit and if this happens again, I think I'll push to get an ultrasound to check for any ovarian cysts.

    I took Travis to the movies today to see Epic. He was totally only there for the popcorn. As soon as he had eaten it all (about 20 minutes in), he was ready to go. Good thing it was a relatively short film.

    Now we're home, and I need to conjure something up for dinner.

  17. #41597
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    Anyone have experience dealing with auto insurance and their screw-ups? In December 2011, Bobbie hit a car in a grocery store parking lot. I'm trying to get new insurance and that accident is coming up on my license with me being 'partially at fault' so of course it's doubling what my rate should be.

    I've tracked it down-it's a clerical error made by the adjustor at Safeco (or his receptionist-however they do it) and that information is entered into some secret database that every.single.insurance.company across the US accesses whenever a new policy is underwritten. I NEED to get Safeco to fix this but they appear absolutely clueless! My prospective insurance agent told me to request a "letter of experience" from Safeco. So I did. And this is the response I got from Safeco:
    Hello Ms. Seymour,

    I reviewed your file and we have your daughter at fault for this accident. Her statement to use was that she pulled out and hit the claimant. We also had to pay progressive for the damages that paid for their insured.

    Moses Mitchell
    NER CTM
    Voorhees, NJ
    Office: 856-435-2898



    Mailing Address: Processing Center, PO Box 515097, Los Angeles, CA 90051-5097
    Claim documents shoud be mailed to: CLMATT@Safeco.com



    From: Wright, Jason
    Sent: Wednesday, May 29, 2013 8:00 AM
    To: Mitchell, Moses
    Subject: FW: Letter of Experience (?) Needed




    Moses:

    Please see below regarding a Safeco claim.

    Hope all is well!

    Jason B. Wright
    Claims Specialist II
    LIBERTY MUTUAL GROUP
    Personal Market Claims
    701 Route 73 South, Suite 201
    Marlton, New Jersey 08053

    Phone: 1-800-486-6152 ext 72482
    Fax: 1-866-864-2525

    Uh---I KNOW WTF happened! You people need to fix your sh!t so it doesn't come up when insurance companies (including Safeco themselves) run my license!!!!

    ps-Jason B Wright is the adjuster that initially entered the information wrong. I'm not sure why he forwarded my 'problem' to Mr Mitchell.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  18. #41598
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    Maybe they are thinking that is enough of a letter of experience because it states that your kid was at fault and not you? What a major PITA.

    Ashley, I almost wondered if that was what it was. I never had that when younger and was on the pill for I don't know around 10 years, maybe more like 8 years. But after I started trying....I get awful O pain. Way worse than AF. The first time I thought I was getting my first UTI and I couldn't hardly sit. It was a weekend and I almost had DH take me to the ER. Now I recognize it and just have a nice stiff drink if I am at home. Best are the times that it hits when sleeping because it doesn't seem to wake me up.
    I did have a number of ultrasounds back when I was going throught he IF clinic and they didn't show any signs of cysts.....just that I seem to grow very big follicles...generally 29-31mm before they popped an egg. Much more common are lower 20's. I have always wondered if maybe that is why I felt O pains so much but never found anything in the literature to support my theory.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  19. #41599
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Maybe they are thinking that is enough of a letter of experience because it states that your kid was at fault and not you? What a major PITA.
    That appears to be what Mr Mitchell thinks...however there's an industry standard "letter of experience" (I've researched) and as a large insurance agency, they should have a procedure for and know all about this. His horribly written 1 line email response doesn't cut it.

    It's pretty sad that in 10 minutes of Googling, I already know more about a LOE than he does.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  20. #41600
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    Perhaps, a politely (but curtly) worded response, with an attached sample LOE is in order. Yeesh!

  21. #41601
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Perhaps, a politely (but curtly) worded response, with an attached sample LOE is in order. Yeesh!
    Good idea!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  22. #41602
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Perhaps, a politely (but curtly) worded response, with an attached sample LOE is in order. Yeesh!
    Excellent idea!!

    I did send a very curt email with a copy of the claim summary attached. I used a red arrow to point out their mistake. And threatened them with the attorney general's office. I told them they needed to escalate this and resolve it today, or tomorrow I'll be calling an attorney that they will end up paying for.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  23. #41603
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    Last edited by missychrissy; 05-29-2013 at 10:54 AM.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  24. #41604

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    Chrissy, next time I have to deal with some bureaucratic BS, I'm calling you.

    Ash, I'm glad it's not a UTI. I get ovulation pain too. It can be really awful. It has a funny name -- Mittelschmerz! So now, whenever I have it, I sing a little song about mittelschmerz, and I take a painkiller and sit in a nice hot bath (or put on a rice bag or hot water bottle) and it seems to really help.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  25. #41605
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    Quote Originally Posted by pepperlru View Post
    Chrissy, next time I have to deal with some bureaucratic BS, I'm calling you.
    Yeah, except I didn't realize that the 'blemishes' I put on it in Photobucket didn't stick and I'd posted my kids address for all the world to see. Great going, mom! at me. Dorkus.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  26. #41606
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    I get ovulation pain as well, which is a totally separate feeling than when my cysts burst. Ovulation pain is achey for me, but also and maybe this sounds crazy, but my ovary/ovaries twitch. Like when your eye is twitching and you can's stop it, same feeling Cysts bursting ususally happen around AF and will cause a sharp, stabbing pain, and than a momentary feeling of nausea. Not fun.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  27. #41607
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    Quote Originally Posted by pepperlru View Post
    Chrissy, next time I have to deal with some bureaucratic BS, I'm calling you.

    Ash, I'm glad it's not a UTI. I get ovulation pain too. It can be really awful. It has a funny name -- Mittelschmerz! So now, whenever I have it, I sing a little song about mittelschmerz, and I take a painkiller and sit in a nice hot bath (or put on a rice bag or hot water bottle) and it seems to really help.
    Care to share your song, Gretchen?

    Thanks for the sympathy, ladies! Knowing what it is has put my mind to ease.

  28. #41608
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    Chrissy, good grief! I hope you get it sorted out without having to resort to a lawyer.

    Gayle and I were talking about helicopter parents at work once. She said something I think is brilliant - that a parent's job is to teach their children how to function without them. Really, I think that sums it all up.

    I apologize for all the posts I haven't replied to in the last few days, but did want to give Rachael an extra big hug for the whole situation.

    Suja, I'm firming up plans for my trip. I can't remember - will you be in the area on June 4? You can reply by fb or PM if you prefer.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  29. #41609
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    Ooh, I want to sing the mittelschmerz song. I don't get it, but with that title the song has to be great.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  30. #41610
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    Doesn't look like it, Mandy. My FIL is in the ICU, and DH will likely be traveling (pending clearance from his ENT). FIL appears to have kidney failure now, in addition to liver disease.

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